Chapter 2
Seeing the train brings a smile to your face and it grows even larger when you see the Weasleys. You run to meet up with them and Ginny squeals in excitement as soon as she notices you.
“Y/N!” She screams as she wraps her arms around you.
“Ginny!” You scream back and do the same. You pull back when you remember your parents are behind you, in awe as always at seeing the Hogwarts Express and the witches and wizards surrounding them.
“Mrs. Weasley, you still haven’t met my parents yet!”
Mrs. Weasley has a warm grin as she gives them rather large hugs. “How wonderful to meet you, my children are always talking about how lovely your daughter is, and though Ginny is a year younger than her I’m glad they’re so close. A wonderful role model, she is.”
Ginny snickers as your face goes bright red. Your dad coughs in proud embarrassment and your mum smiles brightly at you. You’re all interrupted at the train guard yelling out a five minute warning. Your dad helps you gather yours and Ginny’s luggage on board while your mum and Mrs. Weasley stand around talking. After he’s stowed your luggage in the above compartment he gives you large hug.
“Good job,” he whispers in your ear and you squeeze tighter.
When you and Ginny follow him back outside you both say goodbye, give your mum a goodbye hug as well, and then wave from the window as the train drives away. “So, are you still dating Dean?“
“Yeah, he wanted to hang out together on the train but I told him to wait till we get to the castle. Said I wanted to spend some time with you first.”
“Do you really like him that much?” Ginny gives you an exasperated look and you hold up your hands in peace. “I only mean that you’ve been in love with Harry since before you’d even met him. Did you really get over him? Or are you just going out with Dean to get your mind off Harry? You already seemed to jump from Michael to Dean quickly,” she opens her mouth but you quickly continue, “which there’s nothing wrong with, it just seems like you’re not that invested in the relationships and I’m just worried about it.”
“Well, I’m worried about how you keep pining for Malfoy but I don’t say it,” she snaps at you.
You sigh. “I just don’t want you to hurt anyone, including yourself.”
She winces. “Yeah, I know. I just,” she trails off, then continues, “it’s not like I’m giving up on him, but Hermione told me that maybe I should give dating other people a try. Maybe it’ll help me stop thinking about him at least.” She gives you a shrug that you smile gently at. “But enough about me,” she grins wickedly as she leans over to rest her elbows on her knees, “what’s up with you and Malfoy?”
You blush, then frown. “I’m not sure, actually. Draco hasn’t responded to my letters very much this past summer. I’ve only received three; the first one was normal, the second one seemed more robot-like,” you notice her confused look and roll your eyes, “it’s like a fake person made out of metal that seems alive but really isn’t,” then continued, “and the last one only said that he wouldn’t be able to talk anymore because of something that he had to do. He said it wasn’t something he wanted me involved in.”
Ginny leans back and quirks her eyebrows. “Maybe his dad found out and forbade him from speaking to you?” You shrug. “Well, I’m sure you’ll be able to find out the truth from him soon enough.” Then she clears her throat and grins again. “What’s it like, snogging the so called Slytherin Prince?”
You blush but shift in your seat uncomfortably. “Well, um…,” then after a long pause where Ginny stares intensely at you, you say, “we haven’t actually snogged yet.”
“What?!”
“Shut it!” You hiss.
“Sorry, sorry!” Ginny says, trying to smother her laugh. “I’m just surprised! I was sure he’d be quite handsy with you, considering he seems rather obsessed with your attention. He’s not as subtle as he looks.”
“We don’t want to risk being found in a compromising position. Not yet, he could get in a lot of trouble since his father wouldn’t approve of my blood status.”
The corner of Ginny’s mouth quirks in sympathy. “Yeah, I can understand that.”
The door jiggles and you both quickly stop talking before it opens, but you relax at seeing the Trio followed by Neville.
“Oh finally!” Hermione loudly sighs. “We’ve been looking for you two forever!”
Ron snickers. “Hermione’s being rather dramatic. It was only a few minutes.”
Harry says nothing but looks at Ginny and then rather awkwardly looks away. He catches your eyes and glares at your smirk. “Hullo, Harry. Seen anyone important lately?” He frowns, then sits down in a huff next to you, Ron and Hermione sitting on either side of Ginny.
Ron frowns. “He hasn’t, but he’s been talking crap about Malfoy lately.”
You look at back at Harry. “Seriously, Harry. I thought you outgrew that. I’ve asked you both so many times to try and at least be civil.”
He crosses his arms and pouts. “There’s something up with him, more than normal this time, I just know it. I need to find out what it is.”
Before he can say anything else the door opens once more to show Draco with Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini behind him. He glares at Harry and spits out, “Potter,” as if his very name was an insult. Then he quickly glances around the room before his eyes land on yours and he smirks. “Y/L/N, what a surprise to see you around others of lower status.”
You roll your eyes. “And what a surprise to see you around pompous windbags such as yourself. Or rather,” you grin brightly, “I don’t find it such a surprise.”
He glares as Ginny and Ron both don’t even try to hide their laugh. Zabini coughs behind him and you see the silent laugh in his eyes. Draco rolls his eyes, but you can see the humor and entertainment he won’t show.
“I’ll leave you all be, I’d prefer not to catch anything.” Then, before Harry can snap something at him that you’re sure he’s about to, Draco slams the door shut and you hear the four walk down the hall.
Hermione and Ginny both grin conspiratorially at each other and then you. “He wanted to find you, Y/N. Seems quite romantic,” Hermione almost coos, then her mouth purses as if she’s sucked on a lemon. “Never thought I’d say that about Malfoy, little gremlin that he is.” Ginny rolls her eyes but says nothing.
“I… I think I’m gonna go for a walk.” Harry nods at Ron and Hermione.
Hermione frowns while Ron sighs. “What are you up to, mate?”
Harry glares at him. “Nothing, I just need to stretch my legs.” He doesn’t look at you or Ginny and shuts the door behind him without another word.
Hermione looks at you with a concerned expression. “I don’t have a good feeling.”
You lean back on the wall behind you and look out the window. “No,” you whisper, “neither do I.”
—
It was in the Great Hall that you could really see the lines of stress covering Draco’s face. Parkinson was trying to drape herself all over him but Draco seemed uninterested and kept shaking her off, unsuccessfully you spitefully notice. Harry slowly drifts in behind Professor Snape and you nod at him in confusion, concerned at his glare towards the Slytherin table. He just waves you off while he sits down next to Ron and Hermione and starts whispering something to them that they seem unconcerned about. You sigh and resign to having to ask about it tomorrow.
The next day, during breakfast, is when you sit next to them, locking eyes with Draco for a quick moment. Ron nods at you while he’s eating, ignoring Harry, and Hermione looks at you with such a vexed expression that it makes you shuffle in embarrassment feeling as if you’ve just gotten in trouble during a class.
“Harry, here,” she whispers out reprimandingly, glancing around to make sure no one is close enough to listen in, “is adamant that Malfoy was given some huge mission from Voldemort. Ron and I have tried convincing him otherwise, Malfoy certainly has to at least keep up the persona of a perfect pure blood.”
You frown at Harry who is stoically eating his breakfast. “Harry, how could you say such a thing?”
He glares at his plate as he hisses out, “You didn’t hear what I heard. He was absolutely sure, he didn’t sound like he was pretending that’s for sure.”
You scoff and just ignore him while you make a plate and start eating. Both Hermione and Ron then stand up and Hermione sighs out, “Ron and I have to do patrols before class. We’ll see you after, Harry, Y/N,” she nods and walks away while Ron gives a quick wave and follows her.
You look at Harry in confusion and he, almost mockingly says, “They’re prefects. They’re going to be busy this year.” You nod, and then go back to ignoring him, feeling sick of his attitude already.
Gradually Harry’s attitude slightly lessens as the days go on. Draco hasn’t agreed to many of your secret meetups in the owlery that you normally have at least twice a week, and the few that he has come to he’s been distant and withdrawn. You still feel the affection when he gently strokes your face with his fingertips and plays with the edges of your hair, but he never seems as if he’s ever really there with you. You can tell he’s worried but he refuses to tell you why.
“It’s not something you need to involve yourself with,” he tells you one night, twisting the tips of your long hair. “It’s my own problem, and I don’t want you to worry about it.”
You grab at his fingers and gently tighten your grip. “I will always worry about you, I,” you stop, you can’t say the intimate words that you and Draco have known for at least a year now, unable to cross any line past fleeting glances and grazing fingers, “I care about you.”
He smiles kindly, “I know.”
“Harry refuses to stop whining about some secret mission you have. He fully believes that you’re plotting something,” you quietly laugh out, but your grin slowly disappears when Draco does nothing but wince. “Draco?” Your voice lowers to a whisper. “Draco, tell me. Please.”
He almost shoves your hands away and jerkily stands. “I need to leave.” You stand to follow him but he’s too fast and before you can move he’s disappeared out the door. You feel horrified, worried at the implication of what has just happened, and you don’t want to believe it.
As the days go by Draco avoids you more and more, and when he does spend time with you it’s no longer fun and enjoyable. He’s quiet, twitchy and constantly exhausted. He seems to always have something on his mind and you don’t think it’s anything good. Eventually he doesn’t respond to any of your notes, doesn’t come to any of your meetups, and all you can do is cry. The only classes you two share is Herbology, like always, Astronomy, and D.A.D.A., and he has nothing to do with you in any of those. He’s always the last to arrive and the first to leave, and you don’t know what to do.
One night you find yourself sitting with Ginny at dinner, Dean on her other side, and it takes all of you to not cry.
“I think you need to distract yourself,” she says, Dean politely pretending not to hear a thing. You hum but say nothing as you’re pushing the food around on your plate instead of eating. She sighs, “I’m going to the Quidditch tryouts tomorrow, why don’t you come support me?”
You give her a small grin. “You couldn’t stop me even if you tried.” She smiles brightly. And when Ginny and then Ron get their positions on the team, you and Hermione are the ones who scream and clap the loudest. You even grin as you pretend not to notice Hermione quietly muttering when she stares at McLaggen. He’s an utter prat anyway.
—
When you find out about Katie Bell the first thing you do is find Harry and the others after class in the empty hallway. Hermione and Ron try to stop you from asking but Harry immediately speaks and it takes all of you not to punch him.
“How dare you.”
He glares at you. “I know it was Malfoy.”
“And I know it’s not!”
“You don’t know anything.”
Hermione and Ron look uncomfortable as they try to look anywhere but at the two of you almost screaming at each other. “I know more about Draco than you do, so how dare you tell me I don’t know anything!”
“You think you know everything?” Then he hisses out, “Malfoy follows Voldemort just like his father and you know it.”
The slap surprises all of you, Hermione’s mouth falls open and Ron just stands there in shock with wide eyes. Harry’s standing there, face turned to the side with the force of your slap, and you can only stare at your hand that’s still in midair. He finally turns to look at you, face slack and cheek bright red before giving you the darkest look you’ve ever seen on his face.
You return it, eyes filling up with tears, but before you can even open your mouth to respond you hear a drawling voice say, “What do we have here?” All four of you turn and see Professor Snape standing there, eyes narrowed. “Ah,” he says smoothly, “it seems there’s a problem here. Mister Potter,” he glares at Harry before turning to you with eyes that seem to lighten slightly, “Miss Y/L/N, what is going on?”
You let your hand fall as you clench it into a fist. You clench your teeth as you turn away from the trio to look at Professor Snape, tears bright in your eyes. “No sir,” you barely get the whisper out, “nothing is the problem.”
He looks away from you to glare at the other three. “I see,” he says with a voice that obviously doesn’t believe you, “are you sure?”
You glance back behind you and sneer, causing them all to flinch. “No,” you walk towards Professor Snape and whisper, just loud enough for everyone to hear, “just realizing which wizards are better than others.”
You go only a few paces when you hear him call, “Miss Y/L/N, it seems you need an escort to your dormitory. I shall accompany you.” As you and Professor Snape turn around the hall you ignore the calls of your name.
When you’ve almost reached your dorm Professor Snape quietly speaks. “Miss Y/L/N, I’m sure you have heard plenty of assumptions concerning certain things.” You say nothing and he continues after a moment of silence. “There are always reasons for a persons actions. I’m sure you can understand that?” You give a small, jerky nod. “I’m sure that Potter,” he spits the name out, “has his reasons for what he believes to be the truth. But I’d like to tell you that…,” he trails off before he slowly says, “there are times when a person feels they have no other choice than only what they see in front of them.”
You stop and look up at him. “Professor?” You ask, not understanding what he’s trying to tell you.
He frowns, then says, “Draco has admitted to me that he cares for you a great deal,” he looks uncomfortable as he confesses this, as if it physically pains him to do so, “and no matter what I’ve said to try and convince him otherwise he is quite adamant to do whatever he feels he must to keep you safe.”
“Why are you telling me this?” You whisper.
He sneers. “Regardless of what everyone might assume I do have a responsibility as a teacher to my students.” You’re not sure if you want to laugh or cry but you do neither. He gestures to the painting hiding the door to the Hufflepuff common room and says, rather rudely, “Goodnight, Miss Y/L/N. I would rather not see you roaming around again this evening.” You watch as he walks out of sight, robes billowing behind him, and wonder if this numbness is what Draco felt when you felt like you hated him in third year.
—
You avoid the trio for as long as possible, spending most of your time with Luna and Ginny. Dean follows Ginny around most of the time but gives the three of you privacy when Ginny tells him to. You silently notice Ginny being rather short with him at times, and Dean pursing his mouth quite often as if trying to avoid saying something.
It’s only when Slughorn invites you and Neville to his strange party. “Slug Club,” Luna says softly in her melodic voice. “It sounds quite interesting.” Ginny rolls her eyes. “Harry’s asked me to go with him, I think he’s rather lonely.”
You all look across the room to the Gryffindor table and see Ron and Lavender almost sucking face while Harry just sits there morosely, picking at his plate. You turn back to the Ravenclaw table you’ve all sat at and glare into your plate. You still haven’t been able to talk to Draco and a part of you blames Harry for it.
“He’s being a prat,” Ginny says gently, “maybe he should relax and stop obsessing over Malfoy.”
Luna grins. “And maybe start obsessing over someone else?” You choke on your food when you laugh and Ginny turns bright red.
“Shush!” She hisses as she stares around the table. “Don’t say that! Someone might hear and assume something!”
“Why get upset about it if it’s not true?”
Ginny turns her glare on you. You’re grinning brightly at her as she grumbles out, “Just shut it.”
Someone sits next to you and you turn to see Hermione. She’s obviously ignoring the Gryffindor table. “Hey, Hermione, are you alright?”
She frowns down at her plate. “Of course I’m alright. Gryffindor won their first match, I’m getting nothing but great marks in class, I’m taking McLaggen to Slughorn’s Christmas Party, and Ron finally has someone who he deems worthy of himself. Why wouldn’t I be perfect?”
You wince as you look at the others. “You’re really taking McLaggen?” You look back across the room again to see Ron staring in your direction, most likely at Hermione, and Lavender pouting as she hangs all over him. Harry tries to meet your eyes but you just look away.
“I’m rather excited for it,” Luna smiles at Hermione. “It’s the first party anyone’s ever invited me to!”
Hermione blinks. “You’ve been invited?”
Luna nods, radish earrings bobbing. “Harry asked if I’d like to go. I was mentioning that I think he feels lonely. Ginny is going as well, it seems.”
Hermione turns to look at Ginny who blushes. “He saw me cast a Bat-Bogey Hex and was impressed with it.” You laugh into your goblet and Ginny glares at you again.
“Anyway,” Ginny says, ignoring you, “you’re really taking McLaggen?”
Hermione sighs. “I thought he’d make Ron the maddest.”
“And you just decided to take him for a reason like that?!” Ginny says, in a voice that sounds equal parts impressed and upset.
“Well,” Hermione shrugs, “it’s not like Ron has any business knowing what I’m doing. Lavender is more than enough to keep him busy.”
Luna hums as she looks at the table again. “I don’t think so, Hermione.” Hermione waves her hand, refusing to look. Luna hums again. You just groan and exchange exasperated looks with Ginny.
Later that evening you and Neville are walking together to Slughorn’s party. He’s fidgeting quite badly and sweating enough to wet his fringe. You sigh as you tap his forehead and say, “Mollis Ventus,” and a soft breeze flows around his face. He gives you a thankful grin and you return it.
“Ready?” You say gently. He nods and you knock on the door.
Slughorn opens the door and gives you both a wide grin. “Mister Longbottom and Miss Y/L/N! How wonderful to see you! Come in, come in!” He quickly ushers you in and you feel overwhelmed at the amount of people in the room that feels too small. He introduces you to so many people that you barely remember names, and when he finally gets distracted you take that chance to grab Neville and escape to another spot.
“I need a drink,” you groan and Neville laughs. You follow him to the table and stop when you see Harry and Ginny talking. You sigh and walk up to them.
“Y/N,” Ginny says with a smile. You smile back, then turn to face Harry. He shuffles and looks awkward.
You give him a soft smile and say, “Harry,” gently. He looks up at you with a pensive look on his face, but he grins when he sees your smile.
“Y/N,” he begins as Ginny excuses herself, “I’m sorry. About what I said.” You say nothing and he winces. “No matter how much Malfoy and I don’t like each other I shouldn’t have said something like that about him. Especially not when I know how you,” he stutters to a stop and then clears his throat and whispers, “how you feel about him.”
You gently bump his shoulder with your own. “I appreciate that, Harry. I’m still not happy about it, but I accept your apology. Just don’t do it again.” He nods and lets out a sigh of relief. Then you give him a wicked grin. “Did I interrupt something earlier?” He looks confused for a moment and then his face turns bright red.
“No!” He exclaims loudly, causing a few heads to turn, then quieter he says, “No you didn’t! That’s not-I don’t-gah!” He finally finishes before glaring at you and storming off to the table with Neville. You giggle as you go to look for Ginny.
When you find her she looks like she’s grumbling to Dean about something and you aren’t sure whether you should sneak away, but then they notice you and she immediately smiles while Dean tries to but it comes out more as a grimace. “Y/N! I’m glad you two talked. We were all worried about what was going to happen.”
Dean walked away without a word and disappeared into the group of people. You watch him leave and then look at Ginny with a curious look. “Are you guys ok?”
She rolls her eyes. “We’re fine. Dean just needs to relax is all.” Then she grins as she grabs at your hands. “So how did you come to this party? I never asked and I’m dying to know!”
“Neville and I are both Professor Sprouts assistants and Professor Slughorn said he was massively impressed with our knowledge of plants and the properties they have for potions.”
Ginny frowns. “I’ve heard that Neville is absolutely rubbish at potions though?”
“Yes,” you agree, “but he knows everything about the plants themselves. The mixing is another matter altogether. But besides that,” you look around to make sure Dean isn’t close by, then turn to Ginny and waggle your eyebrows, “was I interrupting something earlier? With you and Harry?”
Ginny lets go of your hands to put hers on her hips. “You never let off of that, do you?”
You grin brightly. “And I never will until you admit it.”
Before she can respond there’s a commotion behind you and you see Draco being dragged in by Filch. Your breath catches in your throat and you barely hear Slughorn talking with Draco. Ginny grasps tightly onto your wrist, but you shake it off and make your way in his direction.
When you see him hide around a corner you follow and then go behind the same curtain you saw he was in. “Draco,” you breathe out, and he jumps as he turns to stare at you. Then he sneers and you want to cry.
“What do you want, Y/L/N?”
“I, I just,” you stutter out, not knowing what to say, “I just wanted to see you. I haven’t-for a while,” then you trail off when you see his face hasn’t changed. Your heart feels like it’s filled with lead.
Then Professor Snape whips up the curtain and glares at both of you. “Excuse me, Miss Y/L/N,” he drawls as he grabs at Draco’s shirt collar, “I need a moment with Mister Malfoy here.”
“Uh, yes,” you say, but they’ve left before you could finish speaking.
As you walk back into the room all the others are there waiting for you. “Are you all right?” Ginny says softly.
“Yeah, sure,” you say, throat thick with tears, “I’m ok.” Then you turn to Neville. “I’m sorry, Neville but I think I’m going to go back to my dorm. I’m rather tired all of a sudden.”
He nods. “I’ll walk you. I think I’m done for the night myself.”
You look back to the others and notice Harry’s glare as he looks back and forth between you and the door. “I’m alright, Harry. I promise,” you say, but you both know you’re lying.
“Yeah,” he grumbles and waves goodbye as you leave to go to bed, exhausted and knowing it has nothing to do with the party.
—
You push all thoughts of Draco out of your mind when you hear about Ron. It’s terrifying to see him sitting there in the bed. There’s always been dangers during the years and it seems as if none of you can ever be safe. You’re crying as you sit on the small chairs next to the bedside in between Harry and Hermione; tightly holding her hand while leaning your head on his shoulder.
And then just as you’re all feeling better about Ron healing, even if you’re laughing at him about how he avoids Lavender, Harry ends up in the Medical Wing and you try to kill McLaggen.
“What the bloody hell is wrong with you!” You scream at him in front of the entire team that’s gathered in the changing tents. You had shoved your way through the group of students that had been waiting outside, and even ignored Professor McGonagall as she’d yelled at you to stop. Most of the team had all been glaring at McLaggen, but upon seeing you they all look at you in confusion, and then Hermione and Luna behind you who had followed.
“It’s not like I did it on purpose,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “besides, it’s Potter. He’ll be fine. If he can walk away from fighting You-Know-Who, then a bludger to the head should be a piece of cake. I’m rather surprised it took him out so easily,” he gives a dark grin as he swings his shoulder as if it stretch it, “maybe I should be the new Chosen One.”
“It was rather funny, I have to admit,” Ginny turns to yell at Dean but before anyone can say another word you scream and jump at McLaggen who gives a high pitch squeal. Hermione and Luna grab you from behind, keeping you from moving forward. Then there is screaming, cursing and name calling.
“What is the meaning of this!?” McGonagall screeches out and the silence becomes so thick you hear only the noises from outside of the tent. She gives everyone on the team a glare, then turns to you with her mouth in a tight line. “Miss Y/L/N, I believe this is the Gryffindor changing rooms, not Hufflepuff. I must ask you to leave. Now!” She snaps and you give her the darkest look you’ve ever given a teacher.
Just as you’re about to turn and follow McGonagall, Hermione and Luna out of the doors you hear McLaggen mumble, “Sheesh, I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to be squishy blobs of marshmallows. What a nutter.”
It’s like Parkinson all over again. You don’t notice what you’re doing until you’re sitting on top of McLaggen, screeching nonsensical words and punching him so squarely in the face you can see his nose is already broken. Chaos breaks in the group of Gryffindors; Ginny starts screeching at Dean who’s yelling for someone to take you off of their Keeper; McGonagall is screaming your name in horror; Hermione is the one who finally grabs your hands and drags you off the teen so you kick at him instead
It’s two hours later when you’re sitting in the Medical Wing in between Ron and Harry’s bed. Harry’s still out like a light, but Ron is looking between you, Ginny, Hermione and Luna with large eyes. “What?” He mumbles. You glare at the floor but say nothing. You’d received no injuries except some bruised knuckles and scrapes on your legs from being dragged across the floor.
Ginny is almost laughing. “She walloped him good! You should’ve seen it! I don’t think I’ve ever seen McLaggen scream so much.”
Luna smiles dreamily at you. “He’s quite heavily infested with nargles so perhaps it’s a good thing that Y/N tried to dislodge them.”
Ron snorts out a laugh as Hermione frowns at you. “I know you were mad but that was still a dumb thing to do. What if you get suspended? This is the second time you’ve started a fight.”
Ginny coughs as she mumbles, “Less a fight and more a massacre.” Ron can’t hold in his guffaw and Hermione looks like she wants to smack him.
—
It’s Sunday when you hear about how Ginny and Harry are now a couple and when you run into them in the Great Hall and scream happily as you wrap your arms around her neck Ginny laughs loudly. You turn and give Harry a hug as well that he returns, but you belatedly realize how he’s not as enthusiastic as you would’ve expected him to be.
It takes about a week for you to even see Draco and when you finally find him he glares darkly at you. “Draco?” You ask in a whisper. “Where have you been? I couldn’t find you.”
His eyes flash dangerously. “Go ask your friend Potter!” He spits. “I’m sure he could tell you everything. He’s sure to be upset at how I’m still alive!” You flinch in hurt and can feel your eyes tear up as he shoves past you. It takes you a few minutes to gather your thoughts and go looking for the others. As you’re about to turn the corner to head into the courtyard you hear Ginny and you jerk to a stop.
“I need to tell her the truth. I can’t keep this from her.”
Ron lets out a sigh. “It’s not like Harry had much of a choice, Ginny. He was going to curse him.”
“Yeah, but, it’s not something I should be hiding. Especially not from Y/N. Harry, please.”
You hear Harry quietly say, “I don’t know Ginny, she’s gonna hate me for sure. Based on how mad she was last time she might actually kill me for real. And it was an accident.”
“But-“
“It was an accident?” You come around the corner and the four look at you with wide eyes. “It was an accident that you tried to kill Draco?”
“Y/N,” Harry stands up, eyes wide and imploring, “it’s not like that. I didn’t mean to-“
“Mean to what?” You sneer. “Mean to hurt him? Mean to attack him? Kill him? Cause it sure as hell sounds like he could’ve died from what he told me.”
“Y/N, he tried to curse Harry!” Ginny cries, “He didn’t have a choice! Besides, he didn’t even know what the spell did!”
You scoff. “Oh great defense. You didn’t know what the spell did so it’s ok that you used it on him. So proud of you Potter,” you spit, and you revel in the flinch of hurt that flicks across his face.
“Y/N, listen to me,” you look at Ginny. “I know you’re upset about this, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you need to get over him already! He’s had almost nothing to do with you this year. Maybe you’ve been loyal but look at how shifty he’s been acting. There’s no reason for you to even get mad on his behalf.”
You stand there for a long minute, just staring at her in shock. It’s like you were physically struck by the amount of hurt that grows in your chest. “You seriously think that?” And Ginny’s silence speaks all the proof you need.
A sharp bark of laughter surprises all of you, and you realize it’s from you. You can’t stop laughing for at least a full minute and you see the confusion on their faces. “You think he’s unloyal to me? Are you serious? You of all people have the audacity to say that?” You give her a dark smile. “Where do you get off saying that when you’ve treated all of your past relationships as if you’re just passing the time?” Ginny flinches and Ron jumps up with an angry shout. “Oh shut it, Ron!” You growl. “You’ve got no room to speak with the way you were treating Lavender like some sort of harlot!”
“Y/N,” Ginny says, voice thick, and you can see the hurt on her face, but you can’t stop the words from escaping your mouth.
“You think you’re so loyal to Harry, but you’ve sure been around.” You grin brightly at her flinch. “Thank you for showing me exactly why I’ve decided to wait for that one person. You’ve never given up on Harry?” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms. “You sure didn’t seem to.”
“Y/N!” Hermione screeches.
“I’m done with this,” you spit out at them, and you refuse to let them see the amount of hurt they’ve inflicted upon you. “I never asked you to be friends with him, but I wanted you to care for me enough to at least respect him. Fine,” you spin around, “fine. I can take a hint, you don’t need to tell me anything else.” You walk away as you ignore the sound of Ginny crying your name.
You spend the rest of the day running around looking for Draco. He hadn’t been with the rest of the Slytherins as they’d gathered into their last class of the day so you hide from Filch and Mrs. Norris since you’re skipping your last class as well. You sneak past Madam Pince but don’t see him in the library; you look in the kitchens but he’s not there either, and the House Elves gently shoo you out; you even climb to the Astronomy Tower since it’s still far too early for any class to be taking place. There’s no one there and you feel like crying.
It’s as you’re ambling around the dungeons, where you’ve always assumed the Slytherin dorms are based on Harry and Ron’s story, that you finally find him. He’s glaring at you until he notices your red-rimmed eyes and red nose. He immediately stalks to you and grabs your face to inspect it. “What happened?” He growls out, face hard.
“I’m sorry,” you choke out. “I didn’t know, I didn’t-“ you burst into tears and no more words can make it past your throat. He sighs and pulls you into his arms. You don’t even think about how compromising the position you’re in is and just focus on how good it feels to be hugging him.
“I know,” he whispers soothingly in your ear as he strokes your hair, “I know, it’s ok. I’m ok. It’ll be ok.”
You stay in his arms for a long time, you don’t know if anyone appears to see you and you don’t care, and when you finally feel calm and bone-weary he gently pushes you back enough to look up at him. He bends down to look you eye to eye and says, “I believe you, Y/N. I know you didn’t know.” You slowly nod and he gives you a soft smile. “Meet me tonight, I want to see you, our spot.”
You nod. “Ok,” you whisper as you shove yourself into his chest once more for just another moment. “Ok.”
—
You’re sitting in the owlery for almost twenty minutes before Draco appears. Immediately you’re laying on his chest as he leans against the wall, arms wrapped around you. Neither of you say anything for a long while, just enjoying each other’s company, before he finally speaks. “I need you to stay here tonight.”
“Huh?” You hold your head up.
“I need you to stay up here tonight. No matter what happens, no matter what you see,” he tightens his arms around you and shoves his head in your neck, “please stay here until tomorrow morning.”
“Why?”
“I can’t tell you.”
You lean back out of his arms. “Draco, what’s going on?”
“Please,” his voice breaks, “just do it.”
“Ok,” you whisper as he grabs your face and gently knocks his forehead against yours before giving it a gentle kiss. “Ok.”
It’s two hours later, as you’re sitting on the balcony staring at the stars, that you notice the bright bursts of light on the other side of the castle. You stand so you can see it easier, and then there’s a high pitched scream. You immediately turn, jerk to a stop as you think about the promise you made to Draco, before gritting your teeth and rushing down the stairs.
There’s screaming and booms as spells crash into people and walls and suits of armor. You hide as best you can when you see the people in dark cloaks and you’re absolutely terrified when you realize they’re Death Eaters. Miraculously no one sees you and it’s when you’re hiding behind a set of armor that you see a large group of Death Eaters that are being lead by Professor Snape and-
“Draco?” You whisper.
One of the Death Eaters, a dirty man with dirty matted hair and long sharp yellow fingernails, stops and draws a deep breath. He turns in your direction and smirks. He starts to walk towards you when Professor Snape barks out, “Fenrir! The Dark Lord will not be happy if you are late!” Your heart skips a beat in fear as you realize this was Fenrir Greyback, the most terrifying werewolf who was a follower of the Dark Lord. Greyback growls and turns to follow. You let out a shaky breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. Harry runs past you, screaming out Professor Snape’s name as his wand is in his hand. You follow, knowing you need to find out what’s going on.
Harry and Snape don’t even notice you as you’re watching from afar. You hear Harry screaming at him while Snape responds coolly to everything Harry says. You barely register it though, as your eyes trail Draco who’s running away with the other Death Eaters. “No,” you whisper, “no, please no.” Harry falls and Snape flees and you can’t move until you hear Hagrid asking Harry what happened.
Harry sees you and glares. “Do you believe me now!?” He screams and you just stare at him. “You saw what he did! You saw him running away with his tail between his legs like the coward he is!”
“No,” you gasp out as you fall to your knees, but you go back to staring at the spot Draco had disappeared. “No, you’re wrong.”
“He’s betrayed us!” Harry bellows.
“Harry!” Hagrid yells at him, aghast by the way he’s speaking to you. “Whatever the matter is Dumbledore can fix it!”
“No he can’t!” Harry’s screaming at Hagrid now, “Snape killed him! Malfoy let those Death Eaters in and watched as Snape killed him!”
Hagrid’s face goes dark. “You’re lying,” he growls at him, “I know you hate Snape but this is too much-“
“I’m not lying!” And you finally look at Harry and see the tears streaking down his furious face. “I was there! I watched as Malfoy came into the Astronomy Tower and shot Dumbledore’s wand out of his hand! I watched Bellatrix and Greyback yell at Malfoy to kill him! And then I watched as Snape slithered in like the snake he is and KILL HIM!” Harry screams to the sky as he falls to his knees. “Why,” he looks up at you, and his voice is soft now as if the fight has left him, “why didn’t you believe me?”
All you can do is shove your face in your hands.
—
Dumbledore’s funeral is much louder than you assume a funeral should be, although you haven’t been to many of them so you’re not sure. You look around at everyone; a tall woman is loudly weeping in Hagrids arms; Professor McGonagoll is stoically standing although tears are falling down her cheeks; the members of the Order of the Phoenix are all there, some quietly crying and others loudly wailing. Finally you look to the front and see Harry, Hermione and the Weasley’s standing right next to Dumbledore’s tomb. Your face is blank and you feel like all the tears you’ve cried were the only ones you had.
“Sometimes our hearts are strong in the face of danger,” you hear and turn to see Luna looking forward, then she turns to you and looks sad, “and sometimes they are not. I’m sorry that Draco left you behind. I always thought he’d do anything for you.” She looks forward again but grabs your hand and squeezes it tightly. Your breath stutters in your chest and your throat feels tight, but the tears still don’t come. “I know it seems like the light in your life has disappeared, Y/N,” she whispers, “but I’m sure that you will not lose your heart.”
—
Draco doesn’t respond to any of your letters, and eventually they are all sent back unopened.
—
It’s the last day of August when your parents drop you off at The Leaky Cauldron. They’re crying, worried because of what happened last year at school and also because of what happened at Bill and Fleur’s wedding.
“Are you sure you should go?” Mum’s trying hard to not hiccup she’s crying so hard. “Wouldn’t you be safer at home? Where they can’t find you?” Your father says nothing but his face is hard and he’s gripping your shoulder tightly.
“There’s nowhere safer than Hogwarts,” you say with a fake smile. “And…,” you trail off then bite your lip as you force yourself to continue, “I’ll be putting you in danger if I stay home.” Your father’s fingers dig into your skin so hard you think it’ll bruise and your mom starts wailing. You shush her and when she’s quieted you hold her hands and whisper so only they can hear you. “I’m a muggleborn, neither of you have magical blood. If they find you there’s no chance you’ll live. At least if I’m at Hogwarts they’ll have no reason to think I’m running and come looking for us.” Your eyes tighten and you force yourself to let go. “I think you should go on a vacation and visit grandma and grandpa. Tell them you’re depressed that I’ve grown up. Stay with them as long as you can and even longer. Find a new job and don’t come home for as long as possible.”
“How could you say that?”
You look up at your father, a man of few words, and see the fury on his face. “You will die,” you say monotone. “They will find you and threaten you with me and then make me watch as they torture you to death. Please believe me when I say it’s safer this way. I don’t-“ you suck in a deep breath. “I don’t want to obliviate you but if you don’t do as I ask I will.” At your mother’s confused look you give her a grim smile. “You will never know you had a daughter.”
They stand still for a while before your mom’s face hardens and she nods stiffly. “I will wait for you.” She looks up at your father and he’s staring down at you. You turn and melt into his arms and they’re so tight and warm that you want to stay in them and cry forever. But you eventually move away and gather your things.
“We love you,” he says and you smile brightly.
“I love you too.”
You watch as they leave down the street and your hand crumples the paper in your pocket that you received months ago. Mudbloods were no longer allowed at Hogwarts.
—
It’s when you’re walking down Diagon Alley later that day that you see it. You’ve decided to spend a night at an inn so you can spend at least one day preparing for having to go into hiding somehow, or perhaps finding the Trio to figure out how to help defeat the Dark Lord. Your eyes are drifting across the many quiet shops. Some have boarded up and shut down, others are mostly empty. The streets are bare of people except for a few. Your heart aches at the fear that’s going through people’s hearts since Dumbledore’s death.
Then a flash of platinum blond enters your vision and you immediately stop. Your head jerks so fast it hurts, but you see him. For the first time since you watched him run away from Hogwarts you see Draco Malfoy. Your heart sings as you make eye contact and his eyes widen, but then he runs down the street and turns into Knockturn Alley. You rush after him, shoving a few people out of your way.
As you run down the alley you scan every nook and cranny and your heart drops harder the longer it takes. Then someone grabs your arm and for a moment you feel a huge rush of elation and you turn with the brightest smile on your face.
You look into Bellatrix Lestrange’s crazed dark brown almost black eyes, and she smiles sharply as her nails dig into your arm. “What a cute little birdie here, you seem to be lost. Are you looking for someone?” She cackles and all that runs through your mind is that this is how you die. This is the moment your life ends and you never even got to say goodbye to Draco.
“Aunt Bellatrix,” a voice coolly remarks and you look behind you to see Draco and tears spring to your eyes. Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. His eyes are narrowed and he’s looking at you like you’re a bug underneath his shoes. He sneers as he looks back at Bellatrix. “Why are you wasting your time? We’re supposed to be leaving.”
Bellatrix is grinning brightly as she drags you in front of Draco. “I found the most annoying little birdie sneaking into places she shouldn’t be.” She shakes you roughly and for a brief moment you think you see fear flash in his eyes. Bellatrix stands still for a moment before grinning darkly at him. “Oh,” she purrs, “you know her.”
“Now now Bella,” a silky voice says and you see Snape coming down the alley with a frown on his face. He doesn’t even glance at you. “The Dark Lord is not a patient man, we will not keep him waiting.” He looks behind you and sneers. “Greyback.” Your heart catches in your throat as you remember the man who’d almost found you as they’d left Hogwarts. You flinch as you see him walk up from behind you and you shrink into Bellatrix’s hands. She cackles when she realizes you’re terrified.
“Aww, is the widdle birdie scared of the big bad wolf?”
Greyback glances over his shoulder at you, resuming to Snape with a snarl, then slowly stops walking and turns to face you. Draco shuffles but Snape puts a hand on his shoulder. “It seems you’ve found one of the annoying little children from my school,” Snape says to Bellatrix, “she’s some little delusional thing who seems enamored with Draco.”
Bellatrix hums as she thrusts her face close to yours and inspects it. You can smell her rancid breath and it takes everything in you not to throw up, whether it’s the smell or nerves you don’t know. “Is she now?” She says contemplatively. “Baby Draco,” she turns to Draco with a grin, “what do you think of her?”
He glares at her, “I barely even know who she is. Some inconsequential worm I’ve a vague memory of seeing around during classes.” He sniffs in a rather haughty manner.
Greyback advances to you, rudely shoving Bellatrix out of the way, and grins darkly. “So she’s free game?” He buries his face into your neck and you feel his hot breath on your skin. “Her scent is familiar somehow.” You’re barely able to breathe.
Draco takes half a step before Snape shoves his way in front of him. “You know the Dark Lord thinks to keep magical blood alive, do you think it wise to kill a potential servant of his?”
Bellatrix frowns at him as she lets you go, but Greyback seems to not be listening. He takes a deep inhale before stilling and then leaning back to look at you with a vile smile. “I know where I’ve smelled you from.” Snape’s glare deepens but Greyback continues before he can interrupt him. “You were there as we left the school. It was you hiding behind that armor but I didn’t have time to grab you.”
“Fenrir,” Snape growls, the werewolf turns and faces him but looks past him and smiles at Draco.
“That’s what I smelt all over you. It was like you had rolled around in the scent.” He sniffs the air again and grins at the look on Draco’s face. You don’t see it since Greyback is blocking him from your view but his laugh echoes across the alley. “Oh, Draco, you can’t hide this from us.”
Bellatrix cackles once more before grabbing you by the arm again and jerking you away from the others. “I think we found a pet for little Draco-poo to play with!”
As you feel Bellatrix’s fingers tighten on you while she spins, you barely notice the horrified look on Draco’s face.
A moment later the alley is empty.