After Silco's death and the destruction of the council, Jinx returned to a place that brought back good memories, her father's office, with her heart shattered, she could only take refuge in that seat in which she bother two people in particular, Silco and Sevika.
She thought she'd drown in her tears and wails there, but after entering the office and throwing aside her weapons, she looked up to find Sevika, resting on the couch after the fight with Vi, her arm missing again.
Like a child whose favorite toy broke, Jinx ran to her, falling to her knees in front of the couch and resting her head and arms on Sevika's legs, letting out all the tears she'd been trying to suppress. She felt Sevika's hand on her head, stroking her hair, disheveled and dirty with dust. Silently, along with Jinx's soft cries, several minutes passed until she fell completely silent. Sevika thought she was asleep and tried to get up with almost no strength, but she felt Jinx say something almost inaudible.
"Don't leave me too... please." She repeated it again, this time hugging her waist tightly, tears threatening to spill from her tired, pink eyes.
She was so immersed in her pain and fear that she didn't notice Sevika lift her up with one arm and place her on the couch. She knelt in front of Jinx and made her lie down. She leaned her right arm on the couch and rested her head on it. "Rest."
"He won't come back... will you leave too?" Sevika's hand cradled her tear-damp face and tried to dry the new ones that were falling. "Silco made me promise never to leave you, and how do I do that? We don't need to hide it anymore, you're officially my..." She didn't know what words to use exactly. Their relationship was complicated. It had only started a few months ago, but it felt like an eternity looking back. She understood what Jinx meant when she said Silco wouldn't be coming back. She still didn't want to know how it happened. It hurt to think about it. Despite being her boss, he was also her friend. She also had to focus on taking care of her small and unpredictable... "girlfriend." In the state she was in, it was important to keep her calm and quiet, so she wouldn't do anything crazy, more than she had done before getting there.
Jinx laughed very slowly and with noticeable tiredness. "Something good had to come from her leaving." She kissed the hand caressing her face and snuggled into the warmth of those caresses, seeking protection and comfort, taking her arm and squeezing it with all her strength so Sevika would never leave.
"I'm sorry I can't hug you in...this state." Sevika looked at her broken arm, and while it didn't cause her pain, it did make it difficult to do many things. "I'm going to kill Vi for what she did to you..." Jinx paused, feeling the rage building in her, but relaxed as she felt Sevika's touch again. "I'll fix it for you. You'll have a better, prettier one, I promise." Jinx tugged on her arm as a sign for her to join her, and Sevika picked up on it. She stood up with difficulty and lay on her side, facing Jinx. Jinx rested her head on Sevika's arm and hugged her. Jinx clung to her torso, burying her face in her chest.
Jinx woke up, not as comfortable as before. She was alone with a blanket on top of her and two pillows under her head. She got up quickly, gasping for air, thinking the worst: maybe Sevika abandoned her because she realized she killed Silco. She was about to unleash her still-fresh pain in a fit of rage when the door opened. It was Sevika with a half-empty bottle of whiskey. Her breathing evened and calmed. "I'm sorry, I needed to go out for a drink, and you looked really tired. I didn't want to wake you." She walked slowly over to the couch and sat next to her. Jinx rested her head on her shoulder.
"I- I shot him. It was an accident... I really wanted to kill that stupid enforcer, but everyone pushed my mind too hard that-" Sevika expected it, and at the same time, she didn't. She knew she hadn't done it intentionally, but that would bring problems she didn't want to think about at that moment. She wouldn't blame her. She knew about the stormy voices in her head, and she couldn't hate her for it. It was a part of her that was hard to heal. All that progress went down the drain with Vi's arrival. It hurt to see her suffer, and she wanted with all her might to take away that guilt that still haunted her.
"We'll work this out, somehow, I promise. Don't worry, it's not your fault." She put her arm around her, and they stayed there, silently enjoying the hug, trying to dissipate the pain.
They both returned to Jinx's room, which was considerably bigger than Sevika's. They had rarely been there together before. They were both afraid of Silco's reaction to their peculiar relationship. The others didn't matter, but perhaps the most affected would be Sevika, and Jinx wasn't willing to lose her. After hours of comfort and sleep, Sevika got up and went to take care of Jinx's mess, as always, but without feeling like a nuisance. She understood and loved her; she was the last person alive who did.
Jinx knew she wasn't abandoning her, but when she left, she felt a void in her chest. Perhaps her pain would consume her again. Sevika had been acting as an anesthetic, but without her, she would simply fall back into her deepest thoughts. Sevika advised her not to go out, and perhaps she was right. Sleeping so much gave her a headache, so to distract herself, she thought it would be excellent to start fixing Sevika's arm.
She wanted to give it a personal touch, so anyone who saw it would know it was hers, like most of her things or exploits. She added new functions and designed two different ones, one for everyday use and one for violent situations. It didn't take long; she was short on supplies, and really, she didn't want to leave; she was determined to wait for Sevika to return. She began listing the things she needed and thinking about where she could find them, trying to distract herself as much as possible so no other thoughts would invade her mind with pain. But in the end, she couldn't help it. Sevika wasn't coming back, and that was eating away at her brain. Maybe she was overthinking too much, but she was terrified that she, too, would leave, never to return.
As more hours than expected passed, she was restraining her impulses. Maybe she was rushing into something she didn't have to worry too much about. Sevika was sorting out her messes, and the more she thought about it, the worse it got. Because she felt like a disastrous burden again, she couldn't help crying again.
When Sevika finally arrived, Jinx was asleep after crying her eyes out. She lay down next to her and hugged her, instantly falling into a deep sleep. Jinx woke up with a start and hugged her back with all her might as if she hadn't seen her in years. She could immediately tell she reeked of alcohol and tobacco, but not like usual; it was as if she'd really overdone it. No matter how hard she tried to wake her, she couldn't. She gave up and lay on his chest, trying to fall asleep peacefully now that she was back.
"Do you want to wake up?" She played with the black choker Sevika was wearing, which was still asleep. Jinx was aware of her notorious problem with alcohol and tobacco. It wasn't surprising how her voice changed over time and her cough was recurrent. Perhaps Sevika didn't want to accept that she had a problem. After much insistence, Sevika woke up with a sore head. "So these are the kinds of things you do? You get a kick out of worrying me." Jinx spoke while sitting on the bed, arms crossed and a somewhat annoyed expression on her face.
"Go back to bed, my head hurts." Sevika covered her eyes with her arm, hissing at the pain. Jinx's face softened. She wasn't going to get angry about this; there were far worse addictions in Zaun. She returned to her safe place, settling back into Sevika's chest.
The room was silent, only the sound of Sevika's labored breathing filling the space. Jinx lay down next to her, wrapping her arms around her, seeking the human warmth she needed so much, despite everything. "Please, Vika..." she whispered, kissing the woman's head, stroking her hair gently, trying to offer some comfort, even though she knew nothing she could do could change what had already happened.
Hours passed in that silence, and when Sevika finally woke up, her body still aching, her eyes half-closed in discomfort, Jinx was there, by her side, her hand intertwined with hers. There was no anger in her gaze, only a deep love, a love that seemed to swallow everything else. "Are you okay...?" Jinx asked, her voice soft, trying to contain the fear that gripped her at seeing Sevika in that state.
Sevika looked up, her gaze confused at first, and then, when her eyes focused on Jinx, something seemed to shift. The pain, the fear, the loneliness—all of it was there, but there was also a vulnerable fragility to her that Jinx had never seen before.
"I'm sorry..." Sevika murmured, her voice raspy. "I didn't mean for you to see me like this..." Jinx shook her head, squeezing her hand. "No... you don't have to apologize." Jinx's voice cracked a little. "Just... stay with me, stay here. I don't want you to leave again. Please."
It was a plea disguised as a simple request. Because, deep down, Jinx knew she couldn't save her. She knew the cycle would be constant and painful. But still, for a second, she longed to have her near. Not for her, but for Sevika, who also seemed trapped, lost in a torment she couldn't escape.
Sevika didn't respond immediately. She just looked at her, her face showing utter exhaustion, but her eyes softened at Jinx's expression. There was something about that deep love that made her want to fight. Something about the way Jinx needed her, as if it were her last chance to find anything good in this world.
"I promise I'll try..." Sevika said softly, as if those words were a commitment she'd never made before. There was no guarantee of success, but at that moment, promises seemed like the only thing left. Jinx smiled, not with happiness, but with the satisfaction of knowing Sevika was there, by her side.
Things seemed to work out for a while. But one night Jinx found her collapsed on the bathroom floor, cold, her pulse weak, and her skin drenched in sweat. "No, no, no, no."
She dragged her as best she could to the bed, covering her with blankets. Sevika didn't even remember what had happened. When she opened her eyes hours later, the first thing she saw was Jinx beside her, her head resting on her chest, as if she'd fallen asleep from watching her so much.
When Jinx woke up, she wasn't upset; she just hugged her tighter. Sevika wanted to say something, but Jinx got there first. "Please don't do this to me again." Sevika didn't reply because she knew she would lie.
The cycle, Jinx didn't sleep. Sevika lay in bed, her skin still pale, breathing heavily, it was getting worse. Jinx didn't lose sight of her for a second. She watched her chest rise and fall weakly, each breath a reminder that she was still there. "You're like crack to me..." She didn't want to leave.
She'd spent the entire night making sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, cleaning up the mess, changing her sweaty clothes, holding her between spasms of cold and heat. She didn't move from her side. She couldn't move.
Because if she left, if she looked away, what if she didn't wake up? Jinx rested her head on his chest, feeling the faint beat of his heart. "Please..." she whispered. She had lost everyone. Her parents, Silco, Vander Mylo, Claggor, her own sister. Sevika was the only one she had left. And Sevika was dying in her arms.
Waking up was the same as always. Sevika opened her eyes with difficulty, her head throbbing as if a bullet had been fired between her temples. She tried to move, but a weight on her chest prevented her. She looked down, and Jinx hugged her with all her strength.
When she noticed she had woken up, she looked up. Her eyes were red and swollen. She didn't say anything, didn't get angry, just snuggled closer. Sevika closed her eyes again; she didn't deserve this.
Jinx tried again. She kept her busy all day, didn't leave her alone for a second, convinced her to stay in the house, with her. "Stay with me." She kissed her, hugged her, offered her everything she had, and for one night, it worked. For one night, Sevika didn't go out.
Jinx fell asleep holding her, feeling her breath on her neck, feeling that everything could be okay. That she could fix her, but love doesn't cure a disease.
The next night, Sevika left, and the cycle repeated.