An Unexpected Confession
Madam Pomfrey insisted on keeping Harry in the hospital wing for the rest of the weekend to make sure he properly recovered from the dementor attack and subsequent fall. He didn’t bother to argue as her expression and tone made it clear she would put the fear of Merlin into him if he dared to try.
However, he refused to let her throw away the bag containing the broken pieces of his broom. He knew it was stupid as the broom was beyond repair but he couldn’t help but feel as if he’d lost one of his best friends.
“Which is perfectly understandable. That broom was your first gift,” Seth remarked.
“Er, Hedwig was my first gift actually. Hagrid got her for me on my first trip to Diagon Alley,” Harry awkwardly corrected.
Seth gave him a dry look. “Have I ever told you how depressing your life before Hogwarts was? Anyways, that broom was your second gift and it’s been with you since the start of your Quidditch journey. Anyone would feel terrible over losing such a sentimental item.”
“And it was a Nimbus Two Thousand too,” Ron mournfully said, “The best broom on the market until the Firebolt came out.” He suddenly perked up. “You don’t think McGonagall will send you a Firebolt, would she?”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous Ron,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes, “She must’ve had to jump through all sorts of hoops just to get Harry onto the team as a first year and to let him have that Nimbus. No way she’ll be able to get a Firebolt to him on such short notice.”
“But we can dream, right?” Ron said, nudging Harry with a grin.
Harry grinned back. “Absolutely.”
“Or maybe Harry can actually spend some of the money his parents left him and get a Firebolt himself instead of expecting someone else to buy it and gift it to him,” Seth wryly stated, “You know, like a normal person.”
Harry and Ron shared a look before simultaneously turning back to Seth. “No,” they both said with such conviction that it made them cackle.
Seth shook his head with a sigh and Hermione scowled in disapproval.
For the rest of the weekend, Harry had a stream of visitors intent on either keeping him company or cheering him up.
Hagrid sent a bunch of earwiggy flowers that looked like yellow cabbages.
Ginny stopped by with a ‘Get Well Soon’ card that she charmed to continually sing an obnoxious get-well song unless he kept it shut under a bowl.
“It’s to encourage you to heal faster and stay out of the hospital wing,” she cheekily said, “Unless you want to get a similar card every time you get injured enough to return.”
Harry could only look away with a scowl. His cheeks were flushed as he thought it wouldn’t be too bad to have Ginny visit him like this every time he ended up in the hospital wing. Then he shook his head violently and tried to convince himself that the blush was from irritated embarrassment and not anything else.
The Gryffindor team visited again on Sunday morning, this time accompanied by Oliver who told Harry it wasn’t his fault and all the blame lay solely on the dementors. But Harry could tell he was still heavily disappointed by the outcome when he had to step out before he burst into tears.
Ron, Hermione, and Seth stayed whenever they could, only leaving his bedside at night and even doing their homework and studying together just to have an excuse to stay longer.
However, it was clear that nothing anyone said or did could truly make Harry feel any better since they only knew part of what was troubling him. He didn’t tell anyone about the Grim he saw in the stands or what the dementors made him remember.
It was especially clear to his friends that something was bothering him. But they couldn’t force him to talk if he didn’t want to so all they could do was stay with him and hope he would open up eventually.
On Monday, Harry was released from the hospital wing looking as if he’d just been released from a ten-year stint in prison rather than a two day stay in the infirmary. He joined the rest of the Gryffindors on their trek to DADA where they all collectively sagged in relief when they saw Lupin in the classroom instead of Snape.
It also seemed Snape was telling the truth as Lupin certainly looked as though he’d been ill. His old robes were hanging more loosely on him and there were dark shadows beneath his eyes that Seth would say were Gucci quality.
Despite his clear exhaustion, he still smiled at the class as they took their seats and burst out at once in an explosion of concern for him.
“We were so worried for you, professor!”
“Where did you go? You were gone for ages.”
“Are you okay, professor? Do you need anything?”
“Snape gave us homework!”
“Thank Merlin you’re back, professor.”
“Welcome back professor!”
“Snape gave us homework!”
Lupin chuckled and waved for them to quiet down. “Alright now, settle down everyone. As you can see, I’m doing alright and unfortunately, I can’t say anything about Professor Snape giving you homework as he’s no doubt told you to turn it in regardless of my return so you might as well resign yourselves and complete it if you haven’t already.”
The students who hadn’t done the homework yet, which was almost all of them, groaned in dismay.
The lesson then began and it was on hinkypunks - little one-legged creatures that looked as if they were made of wisps of smoke and seemed rather frail and harmless looking.
“It lures travelers into bogs. You’ll notice the lantern dangling from its hand. Hops ahead, people follow the light, and then-”
The hinkypunk in the display case made a horrible squelching noise against the glass.
When the bell rang, everyone gathered their things and headed for the door.
“Wait a moment, Harry,” Lupin called out, “I’d like a word.”
Harry doubled back after assuring his friends he’d join them outside the transfiguration class soon. He joined Lupin over by the display case as the man covered it with a cloth.
“I heard about the match,” Lupin said as he returned to his desk. Then, almost hesitantly, “Are you…alright?”
Harry nodded. “I am, sir. But…my broom…”
Lupin gave him a sympathetic look. “Ah yes, I heard about that too. I’m sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?”
“No. The Whomping Willow smashed it to bits,” Harry bitterly remarked.
Lupin sighed in understanding. “That tree again, eh? They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, we were forbidden to go near it after a boy named Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye. No broomstick would have a chance.”
Harry nodded glumly as he quietly wished in his heart that the Whomping Willow would get set on fire for what it did to his broom. But knowing his luck, that tree would probably still be standing completely unscathed even centuries after he was no longer on this earth.
Silence fell and it seemed like Lupin wanted to say more but Harry noticed the time on the clock. “Sorry professor, can we continue this later? Transfiguration’s starting soon.”
Lupin let out a quiet sigh. “Of course. Here let me write you a late slip just in case.”
Harry gratefully took the offered slip before running out, leaving a disappointed Lupin behind.
The next day during potions, both Gryffindors and even the Slytherins (it seemed that no one was safe from Snape’s DADA assignment) turned in their extra homework with irritated grumbling and sour looks.
“I hope none of you turned in poor quality work as I will find a way for Professor Lupin to allow it to affect your overall grade at the end of the year,” Snape casually drawled.
Everyone stiffened at the threatening promise but continued to turn it in nonetheless. They all knew not to mess around when Snape was involved even if they held onto the vain hope that he’d forget.
Potions then continued on as normal though everyone was rather confused as to why they were beginning a lesson on ingredients and potions related to lycanthropy considering they had yet to finish the unit on deadly poisons and their counteragents. No one was brave enough to ask Snape about the odd lesson change though.
At the end of the class, Snape called out to Harry, “Please stay back for a moment, Mister Potter.”
Harry nodded, staying at his seat as everyone else left. Hermione, Seth, and Ron, though begrudgingly, waved goodbye and promised they’d save him a good seat in the common room later. They weren’t worried for him as they knew Snape was most likely checking in on him since the professor wasn’t able to do so over the weekend without people asking questions.
Only once everyone was gone and the classroom door had closed did Snape approach Harry. “I assume your release from the hospital wing means you are well and whole.”
“Yeah. I’m doing alright,” Harry dutifully responded.
Snape nodded. “Good. How have you been sleeping?”
“Alright, I suppose…” Harry hesitantly responded.
Snape sighed. “I suspected as much. Encounters with dementors impact the mind far more than the body.”
“Is…is that why they affect me like that?” Harry asked, “Back on the train…a dementor came into our compartment and I passed out. Am I really that weak?”
“No. It has nothing to do with weakness,” Snape stated firmly, “Even the strongest of wizards would become a simpering coward in the face of a dementor. Their mere presence drains away all the positive emotion around them. Even muggles feel their presence despite being unable to see them. They feed on every positive feeling and memory within and if they feed long enough, you are reduced to a soulless husk.”
Harry shuddered at the image Snape evoked.
“Dementors leave only the worst memories of your life behind so do not feel ashamed for succumbing within their presence. It is not a sign of weakness but merely an expected reaction.”
Harry nodded slowly, his hands fidgeting restlessly. “When they get near me…” he said, throat tight, “I could hear Voldemort murdering my mum after she pleaded for my life to be spared.”
Snape paled at that, stumbling back as if he’d been struck. His eyes glossed over with a hint of tears and he seemed to be stuck in a memory.
“That’s-” He cleared his throat, shaking his head, and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder, gripping it firmly in comfort. “No one should ever be made to remember a memory such as that, especially through a dementor.”
“Thanks professor,” Harry said. He sighed heavily. “It makes you wonder how Sirius Black got away, right? Since dementors are supposed to be Azkaban’s guards.”
Snape frowned. “Indeed. It is a rather…curious conundrum.”
Harry suddenly perked up as a brilliant idea came to him. “Professor, do you think you could teach me how to fight a dementor? You know, just in case they come back again.”
Snape scoffed. “I highly doubt they’ll return lest they’d be willing to face Dumbledore’s wrath.”
“But surely you know how to fight them?” Harry insistently pressed.
“There are…certain defenses one can use against dementors,” Snape admitted.
Harry brightened. “Then you can teach them to me, right?”
“While I could, I believe seeking Professor Lupin for such tutelage would be a better use of your time.”
Harry’s face fell. “I don’t know…Whenever we talk outside of class, it’s always so awkward.”
“Awkward or not, you should still speak with him.”
“But…”
Snape sighed, knowing exactly why Harry was acting like this. “You need not be so conscious of my feelings, Harry. What happened between Lupin and I has long passed and should have no effect on your present.” He placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder again but this time gently. “Speak to Lupin, Harry.”
Harry nodded reluctantly. “Okay.”
Harry decided that it was better to speak to Lupin sooner rather than later so when the weekend came again, he strolled up to Lupin’s office and knocked on the door.
“Come in!”
Harry opened the door and carefully poked his head inside. “Hello professor. Do you have a moment?”
Lupin smiled and waved for him to come inside. “Of course, of course. Come on in.” As Harry stepped inside, he asked, “What can I do for you, Harry?”
“I, er, wanted to talk to you about something.”
Lupin nodded, patiently waiting for Harry to continue.
“Can you teach me how to fight dementors?”
Lupin looked surprised and also slightly disappointed by the question. “Oh? Do you mind if I ask why?”
“Well, I originally asked Professor Snape to teach me but he said it would be better if I ask you instead,” Harry explained.
Now Lupin was really surprised. “Severus really said that?”
“Yeah. He, well…can I be honest with you, professor?”
Lupin nodded and Harry took a deep breath before continuing, “Professor Snape told me about what happened…between him and my parents and their friends…”
Lupin wilted. “Ah. I see…” He looked resigned. “And I suppose he gave you a rather scathing account of how we were all a bunch of bullies and dunderheads.”
Harry awkwardly nodded. “He did but…he also told me about how my dad grew out of it and how you even stood up for him later on. He told me that I shouldn’t be conscious of his feelings towards you since the past was the past and it shouldn’t affect my present. He insisted that I have more personable connections to my parents than just him and what better way to start doing that then to ask for anti-dementor lessons.”
“Oh…well…thank you for telling me, Harry. That was rather enlightening,” Lupin said, slightly endeared.
“It was?” Harry asked in confusion.
Lupin nodded with a wistful smile. “Yes. It reminded me of the fact that, it’s never too late to make amends because the worst thing you can do is to do nothing at all…I’ll have to find a chance to speak candidly with Severus later.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Harry agreed. “Er, and about those anti-dementor lessons…”
“I will teach you though I have to disclose that I’m not exactly an expert when it comes to fighting dementors, Harry.”
“But you do know something and that’s good enough for me.”
Lupin huffed in amusement. “Alright then. I assume you’ll be staying over the holidays, yes?” Upon Harry’s nod, “Our first lesson will have to be during the break then. I’ve much to do before the term ends. I chose a rather inconvenient time to fall ill it seems.”
At the end of November, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff played their quidditch match against each other which resulted in the Raven’s flattening the Puff’s rather soundly and a few keen-eyed students knowing exactly why if the blush on Cedric’s face when he glanced over at a triumphantly smiling Cho was any indication.
While the Gryffindors were glad to not be out of the running, that didn’t mean they could afford to lose another match. Oliver became repossessed by his manic energy and worked the team harder than ever in the chilly haze of rain that persisted into December.
In addition, ever since the incident, there was no hint of a dementor anywhere within the grounds. Dumbledore’s anger and Seth’s intimidation seemed to keep them firmly at their stations at the entrances. They only left when curfew arrived and it was time to patrol the areas surrounding Hogwarts while still making sure not to enter school grounds.
“It’s because I’m a shadow charmer,” Seth quietly explained to Hermione when the two were tucked away into a private corner of the library, “I have some degree of influence over dark creatures, especially wraiths or wraithlike creatures. I can actually command them to do my bidding though the more intelligence they have, the trickier it gets.”
Hermione was relieved there wouldn’t be a repeat of what happened to Harry but was also fascinated enough to ask a hundred and one questions before Seth had to shut her down.
Two weeks before the end of term, the sky finally lightened from a dark stormy grey to a gentle white that revealed the grounds to be covered in layers of glittering snow. Inside the school, there was a buzz as the holidays approached and students were happily discussing their plans for the upcoming break.
The quartet were all staying that year - Ron because he didn’t want to be in the same house as Percy for two weeks, Hermione for the library, and Seth to keep an eye on them both so they don’t smother Harry with their concerns for him.
There was also the delightful news, to everyone except Harry, that there was to be another Hogsmeade trip before the term ended.
“We can do all our Christmas shopping there,” Hermione excitedly suggested, “Mum and dad really love those tooth-flossing string mints from Honeydukes.”
“Sorry you can’t make it again, Harry,” Ron said, patting a dejected Harry on the back, “We’ll bring back loads of sweets again.”
“Yeah, don’t be too down,” Seth added, “Clearly there’s a bunch more Hogsmeade trips that’ll happen in the future. And who knows? Maybe they’ll catch Sirius Black over the holidays cause he got too drunk or something.”
Harry smiled in gratitude for their reassurances but it was still strained from the disappointment he felt. “Yeah. Who knows…”
And on the Saturday morning of the Hogsmeade trip, Harry once again bid good-bye to his friends as they left.
On the way to Hogsmeade, Seth spotted Draco stomping through the snow with a scowl like a mix between a child on the verge of throwing a tantrum and a teenager close to throwing hands.
“Hey, I’m gonna split off for a sec,” he said to Hermione and Ron, “Meet you guys at Honeydukes?”
Once Hermione and Ron nodded their affirmation, he peeled away from them and made his way over to Draco where he threw his arm around Draco’s shoulder.
“Draco, my man! What’s with the harsh expression? You look like someone killed your owl and then framed you for it.”
Draco pushed his arm off. “Don’t touch me you, Yankee. And enough with those idiotic American expressions!”
“Damn, not the Yankee insult,” Seth jokingly said, not offended at all, “You must really be mad about something.”
Draco sighed sharply. “It’s my father.”
Seth immediately let go of all traces of joking. “Uh oh. What did he do now?”
“It’s not so much what he did but more what he’s trying to do. He wants to take action against Buckbeak for shattering my arm. Most likely he’ll push to have him executed.”
Seth stumbled a bit from his shock. “Executed?! Over a freak accident?!”
Draco nodded grimly. “Of course. You know the expression, when an owl gouges a child’s eyes out, it must be put down without question.”
Seth grimaced at the grotesque image that was brought up. “That’s a pretty extreme example but I get what you’re saying. Is there anything we can do about it?”
“I will be meeting with my parents in Hogsmeade as father wishes to speak directly with Dumbledore on the matter,” Draco said, “I merely need to convey to mother of my desire to stop father and have him leave Buckbeak alone and hopefully the matter will be dropped before the day is over.”
Then he shook his head and let out a put-upon sigh. “Honestly, I can’t believe my father sometimes. I hope when I come of age, I won’t be so susceptible to such petty foolishness.”
Seth snorted in amusement. “Hate to break it to ya buddy, but you were pretty petty and foolish when we first met at Madame Walkins.”
Draco turned red in embarrassment. “Well I was just a child! What’s my father’s excuse?”
“He’s an adult so he doesn’t get any,” Seth stated matter of fact, “But hey, at least as a kid, you still have room to make mistakes and grow from them and clearly you are.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Draco agreed only to then realize, “Wait. Why am I allowing you to reassure me? Why do I even need reassurance?!”
“Cause I’m your friend. Duh.”
Draco bristled like a cat rubbed the wrong way. “We are not friends!”
Seth smiled serenely in the face of his irritation. “Keep telling yourself that. Remember, denial is not just a river in Egypt!”
“What does a river in Egypt have to do with anything?!”
“Don’t worry about it, buddy. You’ll understand one day.”
“Oh shut up!” Draco shouted as he stomped away, “And stop calling me friend and buddy!”
“No can do, mate!” Seth shouted after him with a shit eating grin, “By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice you calling Buckbeak by his name. You planning to ask your mom for a pet Hippogriff for Christmas?”
Draco shrieked in frustration which made Seth howl with laughter.
In the furthest corner of Honeydukes, Ron, Hermione, and Seth were perusing through the ‘Unusual Tastes’ section.
“What about this?” Ron pointed at a tray of blood flavored lollipops.
Hermione wrinkled her nose in distaste. “No. Harry won’t want one of those.”
“Unless he’s secretly a vampire which I’m 99.99% sure he isn’t,” Seth unhelpfully commented.
Hermione gave him an unimpressed look. “And why is there a 0.01% chance that he is?”
“Cause nothing’s 100% certain when magic is involved!”
Hermione shook her head and turned back to Ron who shoved a jar of cockroach clusters under her nose. “How about these?”
“Definitely not.”
Ron nearly dropped the jar and Hermione jumped a foot in the air. Seth whirled around to where the voice came from and swiped out. His hand touched the flowy fabric of the invisibility cloak and he grabbed hold to pull it away and reveal a cheekily smiling Harry.
“Harry!” Hermione cried out in shock before quickly quieting herself, “What are you doing here? How did you even get here?”
“Wow!” Ron exclaimed, clearly impressed by his sudden appearance, “Did you learn to apparate?”
Harry snorted. “Of course I haven’t. I-”
“Hold on, let’s not do this here,” Seth interjected. He folded the cloak up and pulled Harry’s convenient jacket hood low over his head to block as much of his face as possible.
Ron and Hermione caught on and quickly left to pay for their sweets as Seth carefully ushered Harry out of the store.
Once they were all out on the streets of Hogsmeade, Harry told them about the Marauder's Map. He even pulled it out for them to look over.
“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good,” he said as he tapped the piece of folded parchment with his wand.
They all watched as ink slowly filled the blank space to reveal a proud and embellished design.
Messer. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers are Proud to Present
The Marauder’s Map
Hermione opened the map and took everything in with eyes that sparkled with fascination. “This is a really impressive piece of magic. I wonder how many spells and charms were used to make this.”
Seth looked at the people markers that seemed to be moving in real time. “Yeah. It’s also a good tool for navigation and reconnaissance.”
“How come Fred and George never told me about this? I’m their brother!” Ron cried out indignantly.
“Well it’s not as if Harry is going to keep it, right?” Hermione crisply said as she folded the map back up, “He’s going to hand it in to Professor McGonagall, aren’t you Harry?”
Ron scoffed. “Oh sure, along with his invisibility cloak.”
She scowled.
“C’mon Hermione,” Seth stepped in before she slapped Ron silly, “I know you’re worried about all the bad things this map could be used for if it falls into the wrong hands but, at least we know Harry has it and that’s better than giving it away and not knowing where it might end up next so let it go just this once? It’s not like you’re going to report him, are you?”
Hermione bristled as if she couldn’t believe they’d think she’d sell them out. “Of course not! But honestly Harry…”
“Please Hermione. I know I shouldn't have done this but I just really wanted to spend the day at Hogsmeade with you all,” Harry said, expression falling to resemble a pitiful puppy.
She immediately gave in. “Alright, fine. But don’t do this again, at least not without telling us. Please.”
Harry nodded vigorously. “Promise.”
The quartet made their way through Hogsmeade with Ron, Hermione, and Seth helpfully pointing out various things for an attentively listening Harry.
“That’s the post office. There are hundreds of owls there. All tagged for different areas and speeds of delivery!”
“Zonko’s is up there. Best bang for your buck I’ve ever seen, literally.”
“Oh! We could go up to the Shrieking Shack. See if it’s really haunted.”
“Or we should go get a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks,” Ron suggested through chattering teeth, “Warm us right up.”
The rest of them agreed, also feeling the chill begin to seep into their skin. They made their way over to the Three Broomsticks where they saw Madam Rosmerta nailing a sign to a post outside of the tavern.
Hermione smiled smugly and nudged Ron teasingly. “Ooooh! Look who it is. Madam Rosmerta.” She turned to Harry. “Ron fancies her.”
Ron blushed a brilliant red. “That’s not true!”
A horse drawn sled pulled up with the Minister of Magic sitting inside, bringing a halt to any further protests. Hagrid stepped up to open the door for Minister Fudge as Professor McGonagall approached.
“Professor McGonagall!” Fudge jovially called out.
“Evening Cornelius,” McGonagall returned the greeting with a polite smile.
Fudge nodded to Rosmerta. “Madam Rosmerta. I hope business is good.”
Rosmerta scowled and stomped over, waving her hammer angrily. “It would be a lot better if the Ministry wasn’t sending dementors out to my pub every night!”
Fudge nervously eyed the hammer. “I apologize but we have a good reason for doing so.”
Rosmerta scoffed and stepped back to return to hammering her sign. “Oh sure. Sirius Black in Hogsmeade. And what on earth would bring him here?”
Fudge stepped closer to whisper something quietly in her ear.
She whirled around to gape at him in surprise. “Harry Potter?!”
McGonagall and Fudge shushed her, nervously looking around for anyone who might’ve heard before urging her inside.
Ron, Hermione, and Seth exchanged looks of surprise only to immediately see that Harry was no longer standing with them. They frantically looked around until they saw a trail of footprints made by an invisible person going towards the Three Broomsticks.
“Harry!” Hermione frantically cried as softly as she could so as to not draw attention from passersby.
They ran after him just as the door to the tavern opened but before they could make it past the threshold, a barkeep shouted at them, “Hold it right there!” They immediately stopped in their tracks. “Sorry but no underage wizards or witches allowed for the rest of the day.”
“But-” Ron began to protest.
“Go on. Get,” the Barkeep cut in with a sharp jerk of his head.
They could only reluctantly back out and wait on a nearby bench for Harry to emerge. Minutes passed before the door burst open and out came another trail of footprints made by an invisible person.
“Guys! Look!” Seth exclaimed.
They watched as the footprints continued at a quick pace and a group of carolers were aggressively knocked over. They exchanged concerned looks with each other before running after Harry, chasing him until they reached the edge of town where the footprints came to a stop at a rock.
They could hear quiet sobbing and carefully approached. Hermione slowly reached out until she could feel the cloak before pulling it off to reveal Harry hunched over with tears streaming down his face as hiccupping sobs escaped his throat.
Their hearts broke at the sight.
“Harry…what happened?” Hermione softly asked.
“...He was their friend…and he betrayed them,” Harry said before yelling out, “He was their friend!”
Another choked sob ripped out of his throat.
“Who was their friend, Harry?” Seth tentatively asked.
“...Sirius Black.”
His answer stunned them.
“Harry…” Ron hesitantly began.
Harry faced them and whatever they were going to say died in their throats as they saw the anger that burned brightly in his eyes.
“I hope he finds me,” Harry said through harsh breathing, “Because when he does, I’m going to be ready.”
“I’m going to kill him.”