Weasleys Wizard Wheezes
Harry spun faster and faster... out of the Weasleys' kitchen fire.
"I really hate floo travel," Harry muttered.
Mr Granger had a thoughtful look on his face. "What I don't understand is why you used floo travel at all. I pride myself on being a pretty level headed man but I wouldn't have liked it if you added my house to the floo network without my consent. That's like making yourself a key to my house and letting yourself in. Hell, I'd be tempted to call it breaking and entering."
The wizards all looked thoughtful. They hadn't even considered that.
Harry frowned. Thinking about it, they hadn't even asked him. "It was sort of disrespectful."
Arthur grimaced. He really hadn't thought it through. He just knew it wouldn't be good for him to pick up Harry alone so it made sense to take the boys.
"You would have been better to bring Ron by side along apparation and ask Bill or Charlie to accompany you," Harry said. "Then one of them could have brought me back to the Burrow."
Arthur shook his head. Why hadn't he thought of that?
"Did he eat it?" ... someone to test them on all summer... "
Mrs Weasley did not look impressed. She was glaring at George.
The tiny kitchen exploded with laughter... the two eldest Weasley brothers.
"You laughed?" Mrs Weasley demanded, glaring now at her eldest two sons.
"We weren't listening to their conversation," Charlie said. "We were talking about an incident that happened at my work."
"How're you doing, Harry?"... who worked with dragons in Romania.
"Impressive deductive reasoning," Moody murmured.
Charlie was built like the twins... shiny burn on it.
Young Bill rolled his eyes. "I get burned too in my line of work. Although, I get significantly less sun than Charlie."
Bill got to his feet... an older version of Percy:
Bill chuckled. He was nothing like Percy.
fussy about rule-breaking and fond of bossing everyone around.
Percy eyes darkened. He was clearly offended.
However, Bill was - there was no other word for it - cool.
"Thanks Harry," Bill said with a smirk.
He was tall... but of dragon hide.
Luna giggled. "Someone has a crush," she said quietly.
Before any of them could say anything else... angrier than Harry had ever seen him.
"Yeah, you know you should worry when Dad is angry," Ron said.
"That wasn't funny Fred!" ... I never told him to. "
Mrs Weasley looked on the verge of screeching except the Fred in the chamber hadn't done this yet.
"You dropped it on purpose!" ... his parents would let me shrink it!"
"That's impressive," Flitwick said. He didn't like what they'd done but he could still appreciate the magic.
Harry and the Weasleys roared with laughter again.
"We might have laughed that time," Bill said, looking slightly abashed. "But they'd told us all about those Dursleys."
"It isn't funny!" ... mistreatment of Muggles,
"Sorry dad," George said morosely.
and my own sons... he's a Muggle!" said Fred indignantly.
"Yeah, we wouldn't just attack muggles for fun," George said. "But Dudley is a bully and... I'm not saying we were okay to do it but Harry is like our little brother."
"No, we gave it to him... "That's not the point!" raged Mr. Weasley.
"That argument wouldn't hold up in the Wizengamot," Lucius said with a sigh. The twins could have gotten into a lot of trouble.
"You wait until I tell your mother -"
Arthur grimaced. He hadn't planned on telling Molly anything about it.
"Tell me what?" ... "Tell me what, Arthur?"
All the married men in the chamber gave Arthur pitying looks. They'd been there.
Mr. Weasley hesitated... Mr. Weasley eyed his wife nervously.
Mrs Weasley glared at Mr Weasley.
Then two girls appeared... ever since his first visit to the Burrow.
"Before that," young Ron said, rolling his eyes. His sister was obsessed with the Boy-Who-Lived.
"Tell me what, Arthur?" ... but I've had words with them -"
Arthur sighed. Molly never listened to him when he said he'd already dealt with a problem. It was amazing their boys listened to him at all, when Molly was constantly undermining his authority like this. He was supposed to be the head of the family. Not that you'd know it. He loved his wife dearly but sometimes she frustrated him to no end.
"What have they done this time?" ... "in my room, he slept there last -"
Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron really didn't get social cues very quickly.
"We can all go,"... "You stay where you are!" snarled Mrs. Weasley.
"Molly, sometimes," Arthur began quietly, so quietly in fact that he hoped no one else would hear, "sometimes it feels like you don't listen to me."
"Of course I listen to you, Arthur," Molly said, taken aback.
"In the book I just told you that I'd already dealt with this issue but you took over and completely undermined my authority."
Molly's mouth hung open. Had she? That hadn't been her intention. "Did I? I'm sorry Arthur."
"I know, Molly. It just upsets me that you don't seem to trust me to discipline our boys. I'm their father."
"I'll do better," she promised quietly, taking his hand in hers. She hadn't even considered that she might be hurting Arthur's feelings. She had just been so angry with the twins.
Harry and Ron edged out of the kitchen... although Hermione didn't.
"Weasleys Wizard Wheezes are brilliant!" Harry said eagerly. He hated the way people seemed to underestimate Fred and George.
"Mum found this stack of order forms... they'd been inventing all that. . . "
"You think we're brilliant, Ron?" George asked, feeling surprised.
"Of course, I do. It's amazing what you guys have achieved," Ron said excitably.
"We've been hearing explosions... "We thought they just liked the noise. "
George rolled his eyes. Who liked the sound of explosions?
"Only, most of the stuff - well, all of it, really - was a bit dangerous," said Ron,
"It's not dangerous at all," George said with a sigh. "You just didn't know what it was."
"and, you know, they were planning to sell it... burned all the order forms...
"Nothing in the rules to say you can't start a little business at Hogwarts," Albus said. He didn't like the idea of stifling that creativity.
She's furious at them anyway... O. W. L. s as she expected. "
George rolled his eyes. "We got them all between us," he explained. "We always planned on working together. I focused on half of them and Fred did the rest. Of course, we didn't think that one of us might..." His voice died off.
O. W. L. s... open a joke shop. "
"That was really unfair, you know," George said, looking suddenly angry. "We've never said we wanted to work at the ministry. We'd be terrible at it. We've always enjoyed inventing stuff and we were serious about the joke shop. The one time we talked about something that was important to us and you shot us down immediately."
Mrs Weasley looked horrified. She hadn't meant to do that. She just wanted them to have the best possible future they could.
"It's like you expect all of us to be the same," George said. "We're not all Percy. You don't like that Bill is a curse breaker..."
"It's dangerous," Molly argued.
"Or that Charlie works with dragons... You want us all to work in a boring office. But we're not all the same. We have different interests. Different priorities." George sighed. He wasn't sure why he was bothering to try and explain.
Just then a door on the second landing opened... thundering up and down the stairs."
The Weasleys all rolled their eyes.
"That was quite rude, Percy," Mrs Weasley said in surprise. She didn't see this side of Percy normally.
Percy shrugged. He didn't want to explain how the love potion had made him work incessantly in an effort to prove himself to his girlfriend.
"We're not thundering,"... almost three percent a year -"
Snape was interested in that report and made a mental note to discuss it with the young man after dinner.
"That'll change the world... I expect, cauldron leaks. "
"RONALD!" Mrs Weasley glowered at her youngest son.
Percy went slightly pink... Percy slammed his bedroom door shut.
Mrs Weasley sighed. She just couldn't understand why her boys didn't all just get along.
As Harry, Hermione, and Ginny followed Ron... told Mrs. Weasley about the toffees.
Arthur sighed and Molly gave him an apologetic look.
The room at the top of the house... "Shut up, Pig," said Ron,
Sirius frowned, reminding himself not to gift the boy an owl in the future if that was how he treated it.
edging his way... because he's got to work. "
"That's not fair!" young Fred said. "You put the four of us in the smallest room in the house and Percy got to keep his room all to himself."
"He had work to do," Mrs Weasley countered.
"So, we'd have only been in there to sleep," George retorted.
"Er - why are you calling that owl Pig?" ... "She reckons it's sweet.
"I mean that is a silly name," Sirius said matter-of-factly.
And I tried to change it... He annoys me too, come to that.
Sirius rolled his eyes. Definitely not getting him an owl.
Pigwidgeon zoomed happily... appeared to have eaten him.
Mrs Weasley frowned. Ron really should be more appreciative of what he had. That owl had been a gift.
"Where's Crookshanks?" ... He's never seen any before. "
The Weasleys all grinned. Their garden was full of gnomes.
"Percy's enjoying work, then?" ... He's obsessed.
Percy grimaced. How his family thought that was normal behaviour even for him, he couldn't understand.
Just don't get him onto the subject .... engagement any day now. "
The younger Weasleys all sniggered, while Percy turned pink.
"Have you had a good summer, Harry?" ... "They saved my life, those cakes. "
Hermione frowned. She had thought he was exaggerating.
"And have you heard from -?" ... Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry.
"Sometimes you're almost as bad as Hagrid with secrets," Hermione said with a sigh.
"Shall we go down ... No ambition,
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" George shouted at his mother. "We have plenty of ambition. Just because it doesn't match your expectations, doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm sorry we're such a big bloody disappointment."
He stormed out of the room without another word.
Mrs Weasley sat wide eyed staring at the door. Arthur sighed and got to his feet, following after his son.
unless you count... "but they're wasting them,
The younger set of twins folded their arms, pointedly staring angrily at their mother. She never spoke this way about any of the others. It wasn't fair. They wanted to open a joke shop, big deal.
and unless they pull themselves together... Improper Use of Magic Office."
Everyone in the chamber looked highly awkward. This was not something any of them should be listening into. But equally, Molly really shouldn't have been talking about the twins to the other children like that. Augusta was on the verge of telling her so too.
Mrs. Weasley jabbed her wand... we went wrong with them," said Mrs. Weasley,
Fred and George got to their feet too and left the chamber. They didn't want to hear this. They didn't think there was anything wrong with them. Molly watched them leave, her eyes glistening with tears.
putting down her wand... not to leave them lying around?"
Ollivander wished that the boys were still in the chamber. Fake wands were not easy to make. He'd love to talk to them about them.
She grabbed her real wand... the back door into the yard.
Everyone let out audible sighs of relief. They didn't want to witness any more family drama.
They had only gone a few paces... knock the other's out of the air.
Mrs Weasley looked shocked. Her older boys were normally much more sensible than that. Then again, she also hadn't seen Percy be rude like he had been at his doorway.
Fred and George were cheering... torn between amusement and anxiety.
Hermione's mother sighed. "Dear, they are adults. It's okay to have a little fun once and a while. And presumably, they would be able to fix anything they broke with magic?"
"Well, yes. I suppose," Hermione said with a slow nod.
Bill's table caught Charlie's with a huge bang... "Will you keep it down?!" he bellowed.
Mrs Weasley gaped at the book.
"You know if the twins had done that," Ron said crossly, "we'd never have heard the end of it. But because it was Bill and Charlie, nothing was said."
Mrs Weasley looked like she wanted to argue that point but she wasn't sure she could.
"Sorry, Perce,"... conjured tablecloths from nowhere.
"See, no harm done," Mrs Granger said.
By seven o'clock... ready by Tuesday," Percy was saying pompously.
Percy grimaced. He didn't like being called pompous. Was it really that bad to take pride in your work? Okay, he'd been a little obsessive because of the love potion, but he'd still cared about his work. That was proven when he received a cleansing at the ministry and he still loved his work afterwards.
"That's a bit sooner... Ludo Bagman -"
The ministry employees all rolled their eyes at the mention of Ludo.
"I like Ludo," ... I smoothed the whole thing over. "
Amelia wrote something down on her parchment. Did no one at the ministry actually keep to the law?
"Oh Bagman's likable enough... Went on holiday to Albania and never came back?"
Everyone sat forward at the mention of Bertha Jorkins.
"Yes, I was asking Ludo about that,"... if it was someone in my department, I'd be worried. . . . "
Albus sighed. Albania was the last place he'd been able to track Voldemort to. He imagined his older self would have been highly suspicious of that.
"Oh Bertha's hopeless, all right," said Percy.
Several people tutted. It wasn't really appropriate to talk about people you don't know like that. Percy had only just started working at the ministry.
"I hear she's been shunted ... Mr. Crouch was quite fond of her -
Harry laughed at that. Crouch wasn't fond of her. He was just worried that his family's secrets might be revealed.
but Bagman just keeps laughing... big event to organize right after the World Cup. "
Those from the new timeline sat forward. What was he talking about?
Percy cleared his throat significantly... "The top-secret one. "
"If it's top secret you shouldn't be talking about it at the dinner table, sonny," Moody growled.
Ron rolled his eyes ... Bill, what do they say at the bank?"
Bill rolled his eyes. "The bank really don't care what we look like. So long as we're making them a profit."
"Mum, no one at the bank gives a damn... " I wish you'd let me give it a trim. . . . "
The purebloods in the chamber glared at Molly. A wix's hair was sacred.
"I like it," .... Professor Dumbledore's. . . . "
Albus's eyes twinkled.
Next to Mrs. Weasley, ... Ireland has got seven," said Charlie shortly.
Krum grimaced. The man wasn't wrong. It had really annoyed him the way the Bulgarian team seemed to just rely on him to win.
"I wish England had got through... Scotland was slaughtered by Luxembourg. "
"I was really disappointed none of the home nations made it to the final," Charlie huffed.
Harry had been on the Gryffindor House Quidditch team... He might write back while I'm here. "
Sirius smiled. He liked that Harry had him in his life, even if it was only in letters. Although he was wondering why he hadn't mentioned Remus. Had they not kept in touch too?
He suddenly remembered the reason ... the match went on for five days last time. "
"That would be amazing!" the younger ones all said.
"Imagine if they had to delay Hogwarts starting because we were all still at the final!" young Ron said.
"We would not delay the start of term," Minerva said tersely. "You would be expected to leave the match before the end."
Several people looked disappointed to hear that.
"Wow - hope it does this time!" ... I was away from work for five days. "
Everyone rolled their eyes. Narcissa shook her head. Manners really didn't cost anything. And yet, people seemed to forget to use them constantly.
"Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung ... "We sent it. "
Percy glared at the book. He was tempted to go looking for George and give him a piece of his mind.
Mrs Weasley sighed. This chapter had been enlightening and she didn't think she liked what it showed her. "I'm going to make a start on dinner."
New Schedule:
7:00 - 8:00 ~ Defense and Dueling
8:00 - 9:00 ~ Breakfast
9:00 - 11:00 ~ Reading
11:00 - 12:00 ~ Lesson / Council
12:00 - 13:00 ~ Lunch
13:00 - 16:00 ~ Reading
16:00 - 17:00 ~ Lesson / Council
17:00 - 18:30 ~ Dinner
18:30 - 19:30 ~ Lecture
19:30 + ~ Free Time