Thats the Last Song You'll Ever Sing
Sirius had spent most of his summer waiting for his parents' annual vacation, this was his favorite time of the year because he could finally spend time with Regulus, without his parents punishing him for attempting to change their perfect son. Regulus and Sirius were never close, they were two very different people, but when Sirius’s fifth year came around, he and Reg tried to fix their broken relationship. They both have been through the same trauma, coming from their parents, so they bonded over all of the things that they could not control. However this summer for some reason was different, their parents have become strict with Sirius criticizing his every move, everything he says in a form of defiance, at least in their parents eyes. Sirius was slowly getting sick of the annoyed tones, or the watchful eyes, or the fact that they would forget he exists completely, locking him away into his room and leaving him without food for days, and that was making Sirius go crazy.
However he knows that if he can make it until late July, his parents will go on their long vacation, and he would be able to have some peace for a while. It was about two weeks before his parents were planning to leave for France, to visit some family that Sirius or Regulus had ever met, and now they were sitting in their living room with a dozen other pureblood families drinking cocktails and eating fancy food served on crystal trays. Sirius looked around the room and noticed that most of the people here had children that went to Hogwarts, children that were all sorted into Slytherin. Sirius knows that his family didn't surround themselves with outstanding members of the community, but he didn't think his parents would stoop to hanging around these people. The families all had one thing in common, they were following the Dark Lord, and Sirius wanted no part of this stupid party. A party was not uncommon in the Black household, but this was an especially special one, but they would not tell the boys why. Sirius had his suspicions however, the whole summer had felt like a boot camp, training him for something, Sirius wasn't the smartest, but he caught on to his parents behavior very quickly, “A step out of line and we could make this much worse.” Sirius was sitting on the couch talking unapologetically to Regulus, his parents liked it when he could hold up that perfect family image, when he saw his mother approaching from the kitchen, one of the Lestrange men following behind her.
“Sirius,” Walburga Black was an ugly woman, according to Sirius, but many people have described her as a beautiful witch that was unfortunately ugly inside. “I would like to introduce you to some important people,” She gave him a look that said, stand up tall, straighten your tie, and please just make this easy for all of us. “Mr. Lestrange, this is our heir, Sirius, we were hoping you may speak with him about taking up a position with the Dark Lord.” Walburga said this in a light whisper, Sirius could barely hear what she had said, but he heard, he knew this was coming, he knew that this summer was setting him up for something, showing him how bad the punishments could truly get. This was something he was expecting, he wasn't expecting it this soon.
“Hullo Sirius, let's find a nicer, more secluded place to have this discussion, don't you think that will be more favorable?” Lestrange was an ugly man, objectobly he could be handsome, but he was greasy, unshaved, and smelly. Sirius didn't know where that mask came from, but whatever it was he didnt like it. But Sirius was determined to make this night easy for them all.
“Yes Sir, let me see if my Fathers study is open.” Sirius didn't want to speak to him alone, he didn't want to speak with him at all, but he did like breathing, and no matter how much he hated this, he would be free soon enough, he was almost 17, he could get out, he would get out before it came to that. Sirius opened the door to his fathers study and took a deep breath, this was going to be a long night. He allowed Lestrange to walk into the office, Sirius followed behind shutting the door and immediately drowned out all of the noise from the gathering outside, his Father did have an excellent silencing charm. Sirius leans himself against the desk as Lestrange stands by the door, almost daring Sirius to run.
“Now Sirius, i'm sure you understand what the Dark Lord dose, ridding this world of it filth would be a nice way to put it,” Sirius was angry, he wanted to punch this man, right in his throat, he shifted on his feet and Lestrange seemed to have caught on to his uneasiness. “What are you going to punch me, listen, I know that you hang around the unfavorable folks, mudbloods and whatnot, but that can be pushed out of you, that isn't permanent, but I want you to know, you don't get a choice, you choice is join, learn, or die.” Sirius knew that he had had this conversation with his father before, he was meant to follow in their footsteps, but when he wasn't sorted into Slytherin his parents pushed him harder to be something that he wasn't. Sirius was trapped, he eyed the fireplace, the Floo powder, the facts were simple, run, and leave Reggie behind, stay and let Reggie be free. He knew he couldn't fight back, he had to protect Reggie, but this was all happening so fast, too fast, he thought it would be another year, that was wishful thinking. “Sirius, do you understand?” That shook him out of his thoughts quicker than a bludger to the head.
“Yes, Sir, I do.” Sirius was shaking, trying to hold himself up against the desk as Lestrange got closer. Very close, Sirius held his hands in front of his chest trying to push the man away from him trying to pry himself off of the desk, he wanted Lestrange on the other side of the room, so he pushed, trying to shake the man's grip from the desk, but Lestrange didn't even budge.
“It doesn't seem like you do, I think you need to be shown what will happen to dear little Reggie if you don't listen to us.” Lestrange was relentless with his touches and pulls on his clothing, Sirius was nauseous, he was suffocating in this room, he forgot everything he knew, he was frozen.
“No, no, get off, GET, OFF, p-pleas-” He was still but his mind was racing words were spilling out of his mouth without him releasing.
“Honey, don't shake, listen,” Lestrange was now pushing his body against Sirius’s, “Relax, this is not going to be easy, but I need to break you to build you up, this is just the first step. Do you want me to get Regulus instead?” Sirius was numb as Lestarange pushed his hands into his pants and untucked his shirt.
“No, stop, Mother, she won't allow that, will find out, she will be mad.” Sirius was just trying to convince himself that they would, he wanted to pretend.
“Your Mother asked me to break you, to make you see how helpless you are, how weak you are, she said I could use whatever means to make that happen, whatever would make you listen baby boy, now be nice, or Reggie will be here instead.” He wasn't soft as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled off his clothes, his hands roamed over Sirius’s chest, he left Sirius exposed and helpless. Did Sirius say no, absolutely, did Sirius scream as his hands rubbed against his hole, absolutely, did he fight back, no, Lestrange had his wand trained at his head as he took away his freedom, as he striped him clean, and Lestrange was right, he was broken down. Lestrange grabbed at his hips and flipped him around, he pushed his face onto the desk as he began to work him open, Sirius didn't stop crying. Lestrange was disgusting through and through, his horrible stench engulfed Sirius as he laid there, he thought he would smell like this man forever.
Lestrange was not taking it easy on the boy, he was pulling on Sirius’s cock with such force he thought he was going to die, when Lestrange slowly pushed inside Sirius, he was so overwhelmed that he thought he would just pass out right there, but the moans and groans coming out of his rapists mouth kept him conscious, as he listened to the nauseating sounds of the grown man.
“Oh baby, my perfect toy, this will not be the last time that we do this!” His thrusts were relentless as he threw Sirius down onto the desk, pushing his face into the wood, leaving dark bruising on his neck and back. Leaving red hickies around his ears, and hand prints on his back anytime Sirius would let out too loud of a cry. Sirius didn't fight back, he cried like a baby, and screamed, but he didn't fight. He secretly wanted his parents to save him, he hated them, but he wanted them to rush in, to have a change of heart, to hold him while he cried. Sirius laid on that desk, completely limp; he cried when he came as Lestrange released into him with a grunt that made bile creep up his throat. Sirius was naked, he didn't even notice that Lestrange had gotten his shoes and pants off and on the floor, he didn't even notice when he threw his tie across the room. As Lestrange sat on the couch catching his breath Sirius kneeled on the carpet and emptied his stomach. He was quick to recover and pick up his clothes and he tried to pull the rough fabrics over his body, he was on fire, limping at every step, his hair was disheveled, he looked an utter fool, but instead of feeling weak and helpless like he did moments before, he was filled with anger, pure and unregulated anger, anger towards his rapist, his parents, the pureblood elitists that believed they were right. And there the man sat on the couch, he was stoll exposing himself to the world, like he hadn't just done what he did.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, why do you think you can get away with this.”
“Because, if you don't, your brother will have to take your place, but please, run away, tell everyone, I would love a try at your little brother, I bet he is tighter than you.” and that made Sirius lunge at the man's throat, but before he could reach the couch to the still naked man, he heard someone enter the room. His mother took one step before throwing a curse at Sirius.
“Crucio,” Sirius was on fire, for the second time today he was pulled into a sea of pain, and he rolled on the ground to face his mother standing in the study and still trained on Sirius. Lestrange didn't even scramble to cover himself, as Sirius was getting over the pain, he was slowly pulling on his trousers and shirt. “Lestrange, please be any slower.” Sirius was still radiating pain, as he looked past his mother he could see Regulus standing next to his father in the doorway with tears running down his face, he knew, everyone knew. This wasn't the first time that the cruciatus curse had been used on him, and he is sure that it wouldn't be the last.
“No.” Sirius’s voice was shaky and quiet, but it was still there, the sound hanging in the air for longer than he was comfortable with. Sirius moved to his knees facing his unfazed mother. “Mum, stop this, do you forget who I am, I'M YOUR SON, Y-your kid, THIS IS NOT, this is not fair.” Sirius was begging, begging his mum for freedom, for his life.
“Life isn't fair, so after tonight you are not my son anymore, tonight you will become a son of the Dark Lord, or you will be buried in the back yard with no tombstone to remember your name and we will have Regulus take your place. You will not be my son after tonight, we have made a promise to the dark lord, he needs a student, one child, for the other, we put you in, so we can keep Regulus out.” Sirius couldn't tell if she was lying, he didn't know if this was part of the plan to make him take the mark, but he knew it was working, he looked up at Regulus, his eyes were pleading Sirius to stop this, leave, say no. Sirius pulls himself off of the floor and looks his mum in the eyes.
“I will do it, I will take the mark, tonight, on one condition, Regulus has to leave.”
“That will do, right Lestrange.”
“Yes Ma’am, that is more than fine.” His smirk is something that makes Sirius want to throw up right onto the carpet, something that he has almost done six or seven times this night.
“Regulus, go to your room, Sirius go to the living room the couch will be suitable enough, we wouldn't want you hitting your head when you pass out, KREATCHER, clean up this office, make sure you get the vomit out of the carpet, I told you to be more careful with him Lestrange,”
“Sorry Ma’am.” Sirius was more than done with this conversation, he wanted this to be done, he wanted to protect Regulus, he honestly wasn't thinking straight, he had no idea what he was doing, he should have run, but now over 50 of Voldemort's followers were sitting in his living room and were watching him take a dedication to the dark lord, and he was in to deep, he should have ran, maybe in another universe he had run. Some of the people left the room, some stayed, most of the people there were laughing at Sirius’s struggle to move himself to the couch.
“Regulus, go upstairs.” Sirius was pleading him to leave
“I'm not leaving you.”
“Go.” Regulus walks up the stairs slowly, Sirius knows that he is contemplating turning around, but when he hears his door shut Sirius relaxes into the couch. Lestrange seemed to be the one incharge of this whole thing, it felt almost ceremonious. The whole thing is a blur in his memory Sirius remembers being stunned and held to the couch as Lestrange pushed his wand into his arm, permanently branding the boy, making him less than he was moments before. Sirius felt the connection blossom between him and every single person that carries this mark, and the world became dark.
Sirius was woken up the next morning, long after the guests had left for the night, but hours before his parents would awake. His whole body was sore, and there was a warmth that hovered on his arm. Sirius also noticed how much he smelled, he was covered in his own vomit and sweat, he felt disgusting, so he pulled his aching body out of his bed and limped over to the bathroom. He soaked his body in the warm water, cherishing the comfort that it brought him. The bath helped his achy joints, but he still would flinch if he stepped on his leg wrong. No one else was awake in the house, except Kreatcher, Sirius contemplated leaving, flooing to James’s house and leaving Regulus behind, but to him that wasn't an option. Sirius didn't eat, he didn't go back to sleep either, yesterday's events weighed heavily on him, he felt disgusting, he looked disgusting. The mark on his arm was painful, and seemed to hum with magic. It made him so uncomfortable that the next three hours felt like years passing by.
His parents were very adamant on waking up and having a family meal. So when he heard his parents door open he pulled himself off of his bed and limped downstairs. Their usual breakfast is the traditional eggs and toast and some fancy tea. His family may be fancy, but they could still appreciate a basic breakfast. The table was large, Suited well for hosting lots of people, however when it is just the four of them they occupy one end of the table, somehow still leaving space in between each of them. Regulus eyed Sirius all morning, with a sadness in his eyes, a fear hidden behind his face. His mother sat across from Sirius and was obviously about to break some news to the table.
“Sirius, I understand you are only doing this to protect Regulus, but you MUST keep up this facade, he wants you as a spy, you will be able to do whatever it is you do at Hogwarts, as long as you keep up your faith in the dark lord. I must warn you, Mudbloods will be killed, and so will traitors, so don't let them get too close, you will end up alone in the end.” It was a threat, on him, his friends, but his mother was being lenient on him, she was letting him get close, letting him be. Sirius knew that this wouldn't last long. “There is a meeting tonight, the Dark Lord wants to meet you, we shall leave here at 6:30, that should be early enough.” In all honesty Sirius almost had a panic attack right then and there, but I will spare you those details. The rest of the day drew on slowly, he spent time out in the garden, just running over the things that had happened yesterday. He spent some time with Regulus, just talking, and maybe crying, but he would never admit to that. They left for the meating right at 6:30, they flooed to the Lestrange mansion, he had never been there before, but the place was cold, dark and dreary, just how you would imagine this place to be. Sirius was led through the labyrinth of hallways, and people. People gathered in the dining room at the long table, with an ugly bald man sitting at the head. Sirius felt his heart stop at the sight of this man's smile, he was cold and calculated, it was something that Sirius had never seen before, something that was so evil that he felt like he would die, right here in this house. Sirius blacked out for the majority of the meeting, he stared straight ahead as this “Lord” drawled on about supremacy, and traitors, and what it will take to kill all of them. Sirius had not been paying much attention, but a few words that the dark lord muttered brought him to full attention.
“Go fetch the traitor, we shall give Nagini her meal.” Nagini, who had been sitting at the feet of her master, like some sort of kicked puppy, rose herself up to the table in wait, like she could understand every word that he spoke. As this man was hovered in, Sirius almost vomited with the recognition of that face. His Uncle Alfred was now hovering right next to him, begging and pleading for Sirius to leave, to run, as Nagini took chunks out of his body, as she hit him over, and over again, drenching many of the followers in blood, including Sirius. Part of him thought it was wise to stay, but he didn't, when his uncle stopped struggling on the table, and nagini began to eat at a chunk of him. Sirius ran, he ran to where he knew there was a fire place, he flooed home, and to his surprise no one followed, he was covered in blood as Regulus walked down the stairs, and yelled at the sight of him, and all Sirius could do was throw up on the carpet, again.