
The Umbridge Calamity and the Unexpected Response
Italicised portions of text in this chapter are borrowed from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, First Canadian Edition.
March, 1996
BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS
Any student found in possession of the magazine The Quibbler will be expelled.
The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-seven.
Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor
For some reason, every time Hermione caught sight of one of these signs she beamed with pleasure.
“What exactly are you so happy about?” Harry asked her.
“Oh, Harry, don’t you see?” Hermione breathed. “If she could have done one thing to make absolutely sure that every single person in this school will read your interview, it was banning it!”
If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was the reaction he got from Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library; they were with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked round at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment: Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: he had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters.
June, 1996
“Clearly, it was very important for you to talk to somebody. Was it Albus Dumbledore? Or the half-breed, Hagrid? I doubt it was Minerva McGonagall, I hear she is still too ill to talk to anyone.”
Malfoy and a few of the other members of the Inquisitorial Squad laughed some more at that. Harry found he was so full of rage and hatred he was shaking.
“It’s none of your business who I talk to,” he snarled.
Umbridge’s slack face seemed to tighten.
“Very well,” she said in her most dangerous and falsely sweet voice. “Very well, Mr. Potter … I offered you the chance to tell me freely. You refused. I have no alternative but to force you. Draco – fetch Professor Snape.”
Malfoy stowed Harry’s wand inside his robes and left the room smirking, but Harry hardly noticed. He had just realised something; he could not believe he had been so stupid as to forget it. He had thought that all the members of the Order, all those who could help him save Sirius, were gone – but he had been wrong. There was still a member of the Order of the Phoenix at Hogwarts – Snape.
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The office door flew open.
Snape barely looked up from the essays he was grading. He knew of only one student comfortable enough to enter his office without knocking first.
“What is it, Draco?”
“Professor,” Malfoy panted, having run all the way down to the dungeons. “Professor Umbridge needs you; she’s got Potter … he’s refusing to answer her questions, sir.”
Snape’s quill stopped moving.
“In her office?”
“Yes, sir,” Malfoy furrowed his brow in confusion, wondering why his head of house wasn’t leaping to action as he expected.
“Who else is there?”
Malfoy frowned. “A bunch of us caught the Gryffindors, sir. They were trying to Floo out of the castle in Professor Umbridge’s office–”
“Who?”
“Vince and Theo … Millicent, Cassius, Gertrude, and myself. We caught Potter, Granger, both Weasleys, Longbottom, and Lovegood.”
“And there are no other adults in the vicinity?”
“No,” the confused Slytherin replied. “She– she’s asked for you specifically, sir.”
There was another moment before Snape moved. When he did, he swept from the room so quickly Draco had to stumble over his own feet to follow through the door.
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“He’s got Padfoot!” he shouted. “He’s got Padfoot at the place where it’s hidden!”
Snape had stopped with his hand on Umbridge’s door handle.
“Padfoot?” cried Professor Umbridge, looking eagerly from Harry to Snape. “What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What does he mean, Snape?”
Snape looked round at Harry. His face was inscrutable. Harry could not tell whether he had understood or not, but he did not dare speak more plainly in front of Umbridge.
“I have no idea,” said Snape coldly. “Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little. If Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”
He closed the door behind him with a snap, leaving Harry in a state of worse turmoil than before.
Everyone was far too distracted by Umbridge threatening Harry to notice that Snape’s footsteps never disappeared down the corridor.
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“The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue,” said Umbridge quietly.
“No!” shrieked Hermione. “Professor Umbridge – it’s illegal.”
But Umbridge took no notice. There was a nasty, eager, excited look on her face that Harry had never seen before. She raised her wand.
“The Minister wouldn’t want you to break the law, Professor Umbridge!” cried Hermione.
“What Cornelius doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” said Umbridge, who was now panting slightly as she pointed her wand at different parts of Harry’s body in turn, apparently trying to decide where it would hurt most. “He never knew I ordered Dementors to go after Potter last summer, but he was delighted to be given the chance to expel him, all the same.”
“It was you?” gasped Harry. “You sent the Dementors after me?”
“Somebody had to act,” breathed Umbridge, as her wand came to rest pointing directly at Harry’s forehead. “They were all bleating about silencing you somehow – discrediting you – but I was the one who actually did something about it … only you wriggled out of that one, didn’t you, Potter? Not today though, not now–” And taking a deep breath, she cried, “Cruc–”
“NO!” shouted Hermione in a cracked voice from behind Millicent Bulstrode.
But Hermione’s voice was drowned out by the sound of the office door slamming open and bouncing off the wall. Perhaps it was the shock of Snape’s sudden re-appearance that shocked Umbridge to silence halfway through her spell.
“Wha–?” was all the toad managed to say before Snape silently Stunned her and she crumpled to the ground in a heap of pink robes.
“Professor?” Malfoy breathed in horror. “What’ve you–?”
Snape’s hand raised quickly to silence his student with a familiar gesture. From behind Millicent Bulstrode, Hermione had frozen with her eyes wide. Snape’s dark eyes flashed to her for a second before jumping over to Harry.
“Are you sure?” he demanded.
“He’s not at home,” Harry answered immediately. “Kre– the elf confirmed it.”
Snape’s eyes narrowed.
“The elf is not to be trusted. He is not truly loyal to Bl– your … Padfoot, or to you. He could lie to you easily if it were to his own benefit.”
Harry opened his mouth to speak but Snape had already made for the fireplace, to the confusion of everyone else in the room. With a wave of his wand, the door slammed shut, locking everyone in the office. He grabbed a pinch of powder from the mantle.
“NOBODY is to move for the two minutes I am away,” he said sharply. “None of you will leave the room, nor cast a single spell. Draco, return Potter’s wand.”
Malfoy’s jaw had dropped even further but he knew better than to disobey his favourite teacher. He gritted his teeth and pulled Harry’s wand from inside his robes, chucking it back at the other boy.
Snape vanished into a tower of green flames.
Harry felt his heart pounding furiously in his chest. Could Kreacher have lied to him? But the elf couldn’t possibly lie to Snape; the man was practically a walking lie-detector … But then, he wondered, even if Snape came back and said Sirius was fine, could he trust Snape? The man’s hatred towards Harry had only increased since the Pensieve incident. He exchanged a look across the room with Ron, who was probably thinking along similar lines.
Neither the Slytherins nor the Gryffindors seemed willing to disobey Snape’s order, perhaps out of fear for the man or perhaps out of respect since their formerly least-favourite professor had just taken out their current least-favourite. Only Hermione’s heavy breathing – probably from relief – could be heard as the students waited.
Three minutes later, the flames in the hearth turned green and Snape stepped back out, brushing soot from his sleeves.
Harry all but dove forward, the question on his lips, but Snape cut him off.
“He is there,” Snape said firmly. “He said to tell you that if you wished to confirm it for yourself, you should not risk detection by Flooing; you should open the package he gave you at Christmas.”
Harry’s mouth opened and closed a few times. The package … he’d forgotten all about it. Sirius had said it would help them communicate, but Harry had been so concerned about using it and risking his godfather’s safety–
“Professor,” Malfoy started timidly. “What are we to do about … her?”
Snape’s eyes made careful inventory of the unmoving Headmistress and the other students, before returning to Harry. It was perhaps the first time they’d made proper eye contact since Harry saw Snape’s worst memories, and Harry realised with a start that he felt no urge to sneer or even frown at the older wizard.
He didn’t have to believe Harry, but he did.
Snape’s eyes were black and cold, as always, but he appeared to be deep in thought and not even on the verge of insulting anyone as he made up his mind.
“Gryffindors and Miss Lovegood, retrieve your wands and stay put for the moment,” he said finally. “Draco, Theodore, Cassius. You will gather the others and assemble in my classroom. We will join you in twenty minutes. It is time.”
Time? Harry wondered. His friends looked equally confused – perhaps also since Snape ordered the return of their wands – but a few of the Slytherins wore looks of understanding.
Malfoy stared at his teacher for a few seconds before sliding his gaze sideways to Harry, who looked back blankly. He watched Malfoy swallow and nod his head at his classmates.
Warrington reluctantly threw Ron’s and Neville’s wands back at them, but Hermione swiftly retrieved her own from Millicent’s pocket before the larger girl could turn around. Ginny snatched hers from the older witch who held it out with a scowl. Luna thanked Nott politely when he returned hers, which seemed to baffle him.
As the Slytherins filed out of the room, Ron and Hermione dashed to Harry’s side, not noticing or caring that they trod on Umbridge’s limp fingers in the process.
“You have another way to communicate with Snuffles?” Ron hissed under his breath. “Why didn’t you–?”
“I forgot,” Harry answered blandly, feeling ashamed of himself. The terror of the dream lingered behind his eyes; his worry for Sirius had overturned every piece of logic he seemed to possess, and he felt a wave of gratitude to Hermione for insisting they try Grimmauld Place before dashing off to the Ministry.
As soon as the door closed behind Warrington, Snape cast a silent spell at the office door; Harry guessed it was a charm to deter eavesdroppers.
“Professor, Harry saw Sirius in a dream being tortured at the Ministry, and if it was a trick of You-Know-Who’s, that means he was trying to lure Harry to the Department of Mysteries, so there’s most likely a trap–” Hermione babbled, with no delusions about the ability to trust Snape fully.
Ron stood on her foot to shut her up, but Snape merely nodded his head.
“The right people have been told,” he said. “Black will inform Albus directly. He was also to know immediately when I came to possess evidence that would successfully remove Dolores Umbridge from her position.”
Harry and Ron exchanged a look, but Ginny piped up, “You heard her threaten Harry? And what she said about the Dementors–”
“Indeed,” Snape drawled. “The Ministry would not consider testimony from any of you to be admissible as you are underage and biased – notwithstanding Umbridge’s Inquisitorial Squad would have surely lied at her request. My own testimony that she nearly cursed a student with an Unforgiveable, however, will be more than sufficient to remove her from the school.”
Luna smiled at this, but the Weasleys outright cheered, and Ginny hugged Neville on impulse at the news.
Harry swallowed. “Th … thank you, sir.”
Snape didn’t look at him. “We have other matters to tend to. Whatever trap had been set at the Ministry will be investigated and hopefully sprung. But, depending on what transpires, things may now have been set in motion which we cannot hope to change.”
Hermione’s eyes went wide, but Harry didn’t understand. Did Snape send the Slytherins away in case one or more of their parents had been part of the trap? Did he worry they’d turn on the other students?
“Miss Granger, you are the oldest here, so I will defer to your judgment,” Snape continued. “Gather a round dozen trustworthy Gryffindors from fifth year and up. We will rendezvous in my classroom in fifteen minutes once I have dealt with … this.” He idly toed Umbridge’s pink shoe.
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Luna and Ginny couldn’t be part of whatever discussion Snape was arranging as they were only in fourth year, but it hadn’t been easy convincing the witches to go to dinner. Hermione promised in a rushed voice that she’d fill them in later.
Harry, Neville, and Ron had a surprisingly hard time keeping up with Hermione as she raced through the corridors to Gryffindor Tower.
Once the portrait hole shut behind them, Ron grabbed Harry’s arm to stop him from dashing up the staircase.
“I want to check on him–!”
“One minute, mate,” Ron panted. “Hermione – Snape! – we SURE we can trust him?”
“He took out Umbridge, didn’t he?” Hermione insisted. “If it was some sort of trick, he wouldn’t’ve simply let us all go with our wands–”
“I need to KNOW he talked to Sirius–”
“Go open that package,” Hermione ordered. She knew Harry wouldn’t focus until he confirmed Sirius was alive and well. Neville still seemed confused by the whole ordeal and his eyes followed Harry as he dashed up the boys’ staircase.
“We need to rendezvous more Gryffindors,” Hermione announced. “Neville, I need you to gather Seamus, Dean, and Parvati if you find her. Ron, you’ll likely find the rest of your Quidditch team outside. I’ll run to the library and see if I can find Tricia and Maddie, the other prefects. We’ll meet down at the Potions classroom. I expect Snape has been working from inside Slytherin and he’s ready to unite us.”
“Woah … Snape wants to unite us?” Ron demanded. “That doesn’t sound like him, Hermione–” Neville furiously nodded his agreement.
“I wouldn’t’ve thought so yesterday, either, but it’s the only thing that makes sense!” Hermione insisted. “I highly suspected Snape knew about the DA. He saw a lot in Harry’s head …”
“I saw some things in his, too,” Harry muttered as he returned to them, shoving the Marauder’s Map into his pocket.
“Did you talk to–?”
Harry nodded bashfully. “Sirius sent me a two-way mirror. He’s completely fine, and he’s told Dumbledore everything … I can’t believe I didn’t open the stupid package months ago–”
“Never mind,” Hermione cut him off before returning to her explanation. “If Snape had any inkling that the rest of us were learning Defence without the Slytherins, I suspect he started a similar group with them so they wouldn’t fall behind.”
“OK, yeah, that does sound like Snape,” Ron admitted.
“But why unite us?” Neville asked, confused. “If Umbridge is gonna get taken away now, that means Dumbledore can come back, and the whole Inquisitorial Squad won’t exist anymore, right?”
Hermione opened her mouth to answer but stopped herself; perhaps she saw Harry’s face grow quite pale as he realised what she’d already deduced.
“It was a trap …” Harry whispered. “He didn’t have Sirius, but he could be at the Ministry RIGHT NOW … and he’s probably got more Death Eaters with him–!”
Ron looked worried. “People could get hurt … My Dad’s probably there! Plus, Lupin and all the others …”
Hermione bit her fingernail, knowing exactly where her friends’ Gryffindor-ish instincts leapt.
“I … I feel that the Order wouldn’t want us to go and fight with them right now; I mean, we are still underage, and–”
“But this is just the start,” Harry slumped backwards into a chair. “If Voldemort shows up at the Ministry, then Fudge’ll have to admit he’s back. And unless they defeat him then and there–”
“Which they probably won’t ‘cause the Death Eaters have the advantage right now,” Ron murmured.
“–Voldemort’ll get away … and he won’t need to stay in hiding anymore.”
Neville went paler than Harry. “You mean … he’ll start the war.”
Ron sank back against the wall.
“We began Dumbledore’s Army with the expectation that we might need to fight in a war,” Hermione reminded them softly. “If Snape was doing the same, we can join forces–”
“But, Hermione, that’s mad!” Ron insisted. “The Slytherins won’t fight with US! They’re more likely to turn their backs and join their Death Eater parents–!”
“No,” she said firmly. “I know how you feel about Slytherins, Ronald, but Snape is a Slytherin, and he’s just proven he’s on our side! I’m not thick; I mean, I’m not ready to drop everything and start trusting the likes of Crabbe and Malfoy, but there’s plenty of Slytherins who DON’T have Death Eater parents and are probably just as concerned about surviving the war as we are! If they band together with the rest of us, we might actually have a fighting chance to see this through!”
Ron glanced up at Harry, who bit his lip.
“I– I dunno yet. For now, let’s round up the Gryffindors and see what Snape wants.”