Chapter 3
A sadness crept over Tommie as she made her way back up to the castle. She felt weighed down with guilt.
It wasn't that she didn't want to play Quidditch – she did. More than anything – she just couldn't. She had a very good reason for not being able to and if she could she would tell Oliver but she wasn't used to telling people she hardly knew those kinds of secrets. Sure, Katie, Angelina and Alicia knew however, they were her best friends. She knew everything about them and them, her. She knew that they would never betray her secrets to anyone. She wasn’t sure she could say the same about Oliver. Tommie knew that he wouldn't run around telling everyone he saw but she didn't know whether or not he'd accidentally slip up and tell someone.
In the time that she was contemplating whether or not she could trust Oliver with her deep, dark Quidditch secret she had reached the portrait of the fat lady. Tommie mumbled the password. She entered, tripping on the small lip of the portrait that jutted out. She had tripped on the same lip every time she entered or exited the Gryffindor common room for 7 years. She recognised that it was there and never moved yet it happened every time.
Tommie's friends were all sitting around the fire in their usual seats. Katie sat in the armchair while Alicia led along the sofa with her feet deposited on Angelina's lap who was sitting at the end of the sofa nearest to Katie. Walking over solemnly, Tommie collapsed onto the floor curling up on the rug as she normally did. She grabbed the patchwork blanket from behind the log basket and pulled it over herself.
The patchwork blanket was something Tommie had, had for years. It was made up of various Quidditch kit t-shirts. She had been collecting the t-shirts since she started Hogwarts. She never showed her love of Quidditch at home and after enrolling at Hogwarts she was able to buy the Quidditch shirts without anyone finding out. She realised into third year that the t-shirts were not going to fit her (yet another downside to 'maturing'. Well...kind of.) so decided on making a patchwork quilt with them. After she started her friends would buy her a new shirt for her birthday or Christmas so that she could add to the blanket. It was probably her most prized possession besides her broom.
“What did Oliver say this time?” Alicia sighed as she glanced at her downtrodden friend curled up on the floor.
“He asked me about joining the team again.” She replied looking up at her as the fire crackled comfortingly behind her. “I told him no and I feel bad.”
“We understand why you won't but it is your last year. He kind of has a point.” Katie pointed out with a small smile.
Tommie rolled onto her back so that she was facing the ceiling. “I know. I really want to but...” She trailed off before closing her eyes and telling them. “It might be my last year here but it's not my last year being me.”
“But if you love it, why should it matter?” Angelina piped up. She had always told Tommie to just play if it was what she loved. She understood the predicament she was in but also knew that Quidditch meant an awful lot to Tommie.
Tommie glanced over at Angelina, the whisper of name brushing past her lips. The name alone was enough to cause them all to drop the subject. She rolled onto her side to face the fire. Tommie watched as the flames licked and cracked about, snapping from one direction to another, chasing each other in an endless game of Quidditch.
“Hey guys?” Tommie called, tearing her gaze away as a thought struck her.
Alicia blinked a couple of times as she left her daydream haze. “hm? What?”
“I have double potions on a Monday. Is that enough for me to go to the hospital wing with crippling shock?”
Katie rolled her eyes as Angelina threw a cushion that hit Tommie squarely in the face.
“You think that's bad? I have a double History of Magic last thing on a Friday!” Alicia exclaimed, throwing her arms out dramatically.
“How is that bad? You can have a two hour nap.” Angelina told her. “It's not like he'd notice.”
Angelina was fairly studious but the one lesson she honestly couldn't care about and had absolute loathing for was History of Magic. It was safe to say she had nearly cried when she was told she could drop it at NEWT level.
“Oh I would but he purposely moved me to the front last year to stop me from doing so, remember?”
“I thought he moved you so that you'd stop snogging Terry.” Tommie interjected with a smirk.
Alicia just rolled her eyes. “It was pretty much the same thing. He was so boring I could probably sleep through snogging him.”
This caused them all to burst out laughing. Alicia was known for having a lot of boyfriends and the best thing about them was the comments she would make afterwards. A lot of them turned out to be 'boring'. Alicia didn't like boring.
It was no surprise that she had a lot of guys chasing after her though. She was extraordinarily pretty. Her hair hung in long blonde curls around her shoulders always looking like they had been placed carefully into their perfect arrangement but Tommie knew for a fact her hair ended up like that naturally. Alicia was also skinny and athletic which was always going to attract people anyhow. The thing that attracted guys to her most though was her bright blue eyes that always held a mischievous playful glint, giving the impression that she was dying to lead you, and only you awry. It was a look that one could never learn.
Her brash and very unsubtle personality was endearing and she wouldn't give up her friendship with Alicia for anything.
“Speaking of boring, how is your plan to woo Roger Davies going?” Katie asked Alicia with a smile and raised eyebrow.
It was no secret that she liked Roger Davies. It was also no secret that every girl in their right mind, in Hogwarts, had a small crush on him too. He was absolutely, unfathomably, ridiculously attractive. Well, every girl that wasn't more inclined towards Oliver had a crush on him. It was common knowledge that the two Quidditch captains were probably the most sought out guys in Hogwarts. It wasn't at all surprising.
Anyway, Alicia had come up with a plan at the end of last year, that she had spent part of her summer straightening out, to make Roger Davies her boyfriend before Christmas. Which, if she managed to pull it off, would be some feat.
“It's going to be rather awkward having all your friends ogling over your boyfriend if it does work.” Tommie pointed out.
“Well, I wouldn't blame you.” She laughed before wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “He is one delicious looking Quidditch captain.”
The lot of them had burst into a fit of giggles again but were interrupted when Wood fell into the other armchair. “I heard you say delicious Quidditch captain.” He told them as a smirk toyed with the edges of his mouth.
“Then why are you here?” Tommie asked him as she screwed her face up in mock disgust.
“Funny.” Wood retorted. “I don't remember you looking disgusted when you were blatantly staring at me in the changing room.” He told her, this time allowing the smirk to take hold of his smile.
A light blush sprinkled over Tommie's cheeks as her friends looked at her with their eyebrows raised. God knows what they were thinking...
“You were almost drooling.” He added as an afterthought. Tommie threw the pillow at him causing him to chuckle as he caught it effortlessly. “I'm a keeper.” He grinned and winked at her playfully.
“Didn't stop your mum from giving you away.” She muttered under her breath.
“I'm not adopted!” He exclaimed although the grin was still evident on his face.
“I've met your mum, she's nice. There is no way you're related to her.” Tommie poked her tongue out at him in a very childish manner.
“And Merlin knows how I'm related to a nice person.” He told her with an exaggerated shocked expression.
Rolling her eyes Tommie diverted her attention back to her friends. Alicia was still led down but had started to poke Angelina who was staring at something behind Katie. Tommie's gaze flickered up and she couldn't help but smile when she realised that Angelina was staring at Fred.
Everyone knew that Angelina and Fred were very good friends and Tommie knew that at one point Angelina had had the biggest crush on the redhead. Maybe the crush hadn't gone away...
As if Katie had heard Tommie thinking she looked over with a conspiratorial look on her face that she was more than used to seeing. It meant plans were going to be made.
Tommie was thinking about plans that would work when she was suddenly hit in the face by a cushion making her rock sideways from the impact. She looked at Oliver with a scowl on her face.
He held up his hands in defence. “To be fair, I was talking to you but you were ignoring me.”
“Have you never met me before?” She asked incredulously. Going into her head and ignoring everyone wasn't uncommon for Tommie. She'd actually done it to Mcgonagall for an entire lesson before.
“Anyway, I asked if you've seen the new Harpies' uniform?” He nodded towards her blanket.
Shuffling around uncomfortably on the floor, she tugged the blanket further into her lap. “I don’t really want the Harpies uniform. You know they’re the only team I’m not that interested in.”
Noticing something Oliver reached forward to pull the blanket to him. “You have the Gryffindor kit?” He asked motioning to the gold and red square in the very middle. Tommie was about to nod when something occurred to Oliver. “Were you the one that stole my shirt?”
Tommie smiled sheepishly. “I did not steal it, I found it. There is a very big difference between the two.”
It seemed that Oliver had given the Quidditch thing a break and their previous conversation in the changing rooms was swiftly passed over. Well, he'd given the Quidditch thing a break for the rest of the night.
The next day Tommie was making her way down the stairs about to head to breakfast to find Oliver waiting for her in the common room.
“Cresswell!” He called, striding over to her looking overly happy for being up so early in the morning. Then again, Oliver was a morning person. Tommie was not. Plus he'd probably been up for hours practising.
“What?” She asked with a sigh. She just wanted to get some toast and have a nap during history of magic. Was that too much to ask for?
“We never got to talk properly last night about you joining the team.” Oliver told her as he led the way to the great hall.
A scowl fell across her face as she told Oliver. “I told you I wasn't joining. Thinking I was going to change my mind in the morning was a big mistake on your part.”
Oliver was about to retort when Tommie tripped on the stairs before loudly exclaiming 'Oh bloody hell!' He turned around to find her with one foot stuck inside a trick step.
“Wood? How do you get out of this one?” She asked him, tugging on her ankle with a frustrated sigh.
“I think you need to join a Quidditch team.” He mumbled looking at her like he was seriously trying to remember. “That might be the one on the fifth floor though...You should probably join anyway, just in case.”
There was a long pause before Tommie sighed. “Fine. I will.” She told him with a narrowing of her eyes.
Oliver looked very surprised and couldn't suppress his smile.“Really?”
“Yeah. Just get Davies for me and I'll be more than willing.” She said with a sickly sweet smile.
“You're a traitor, you know that?” He told her with a scowl. “Davies is the enemy!”
Tommie let her head fall back before shouting “WOOD I'M NOT ON YOUR BLOODY TEAM! HE'S NOT MY ENEMY!”
Oliver held his hands up in defence. “Fine, just...agree to join the team and I'll help you out.” He told her, forcing her to scowl this time.
“No. I'd much rather stay here all day.”
“Fine by me.” He replied, turning his back on her. Then he left.
He actually left! He walked off and left her stuck in a step all because she wouldn't agree to join his Quidditch team!
With a 'hmph' Tommie dropped down onto the step waiting for someone to come and help her. She was definitely going to talk to the twins about the various trick steps throughout Hogwarts. They seemed to understand Hogwarts better than Dumbledore himself.
Just as she was thinking about which trick steps she definitely knew how to get out of, Katie came down the stairs humming quietly to herself. Tommie stood up so quickly she elicited a small squeak of shock from Katie.
“Help me!” She cried. Tommie must have looked slightly insane and if anyone other than Katie had walked past they would have run away screaming. However, Katie was used to her antics and knew it best not to question her.
“You just push down.” Katie told her with a raised eyebrow. “It's the easiest one to get out of.”
Following Katie's instructions, Tommie pushed down with her incapacitated foot and sure enough the grip on it subsided so that she could retract it. She rotated it a few times to make sure it was working.
“Katie, I have some great news.” Tommie told her with a crazed smile.
“What?”
“You won't have to get up early every morning! You know why?” She didn't even wait for Katie to answer. “Because I'm going to kill Wood!” She let out a more than crazy laugh (bordering cackle) before taking off in a run towards the great hall.
As she was about to push open the doors to the great hall a shaking first year called out to her. He was clutching his robe to his chest and with the meekest voice she’d ever heard told her “Professor McGonagall wants to see you in her classroom.”
Tommie still looked slightly crazed and was vibrating with anger at Wood but she knew ignoring a summoning by McGonagall would get her in far more trouble than pummeling Wood to death in the great hall. With a sigh she thanked the first year and changed direction to head towards the transfiguration courtyard.
She didn’t knock as she waltzed into the room but was struck frozen when she saw the reason for her previous anger, sat laughing at something McGonagall said in a chair before her desk. There was an empty one next to him so she knew nothing good was going to happen in this room.
“Miss Cresswell, thank you for joining us.” She was starting to feel a hatred for the Scottish accent. “Please take a seat.”
She slid resignedly into the second chair, slouched down into it like the child throwing a tantrum she was.
“Now I had word from Severus about a month's worth of detention. He’s agreed to let me put another punishment in place in lieu of cleaning all the cauldrons.” She paused to look at her over her glasses. “So after speaking to Wood here, I’ve come up with a compromise.” Tommie's eyes narrowed. “Instead of detentions you can help Wood with quidditch practice. He needs a reserve chaser, and in return he’ll tutor you in Transfiguration, I know you’ve been struggling this year.”
“Professor! That is completely unfair!” Tommie exclaimed, her voice slightly edging towards hysterical.
“Miss Cresswell, lower your voice.” Professor Mcgonagall demanded, sending her a sharp glare. “I have offered you a solution that benefits both you, Wood and the entire Gryffindor house.”
“By all means, Professor,” She started quietly, burning anger seeping into her words. “I'd rather fail transfiguration than join the Quidditch team.” She then crossed her arms over her chest waiting for Mcgonagall to retort.
“Cresswell you can't be serious-”
“I'm more than serious. One might say I'm deathly serious.” Tommie snapped at Oliver earning a glare.
Oliver had opened his mouth to say something else when Mcgonagall interrupted. “Enough! Miss Cresswell you're being ridiculous-”
“Will people please stop saying I'm being ridiculous! Has it ever occurred to anyone that I might actually have an actual reason for not joining the team?” She didn't wait for either of them to answer.“No! Because all anyone cares about is not letting down precious little Oliver Wood's Quidditch team! It doesn't matter if other people get hurt in the process just so long as we don't, pray to god, lose a Quidditch match to Slytherin!” Tommie’s throat burned and she was breathing raggedly, her breath coming out in uneven, inconsistent puffs.
She took one look at Wood and Mcgonagall before turning on her heel and walking as fast as she could out of the transfiguration classroom that was really to blame for this mess.
Tommie carried on walking, her pace never faltering. She made it to the great hall storming straight past and hurling up the staircases she reached the fifth floor and ducked behind a heavy tapestry. She followed the dark cold passage behind it, not even bothering to light her wand, until she reached what was at some point years ago a classroom.
It was barely lit with a few dim candles, she wasn’t sure who was keeping them lit or if they had been enchanted to never turn off but either way it made a nice ambiance. There were tiered bench seats and desks either side of a long walkway in the middle and bookshelves at either end. It was a lot like the charms classrooms, maybe it had been an old one. She’d discovered this place by accident a few years ago and when she needed a break from the world outside that flying couldn’t fix, this was her go to spot.
She slid onto one of the bench seats at the back, leaning her head on her arms on the table in front of her.
This was all so childish and stupid. How had Wood managed to turn everyone against her? It felt like everywhere she turned she was being told her feelings were an overreaction, that she was just being silly, that she should put Oliver Wood and Gryffindors glory above her own wishes. She wanted to scream and cry. She wanted to punch a wall or throw something. She wanted something to stop the full throbbing pain behind her eyes and her heart.
Tommie had almost decided on just screaming as loud as she could when she heard the sound of footsteps on the stone floor. She tugged at hair and thumped her head against the desk loudly once she saw in the flickering light that it was Wood.
“Can you not leave me alone for five minutes?”
He had his hands in his pockets and had ditched his robe somewhere. His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms and his tie was loose and hanging crookedly. It was times like this she almost understood what everyone saw in him but the anger that had yet to subside reminded her why she didn’t.
“How'd you even find this place?” He asked, climbing the stairs towards her. He stopped at the row below her, leaning back against the table to face Tommie.
“I couldn’t sleep one night, was having a little walk, Percy and that Ravenclaw prefect almost caught me so I hid behind the nearest tapestry to hide. Turns out it led to this old classroom.” The air felt charged and uncomfortable. Tommie wanted desperately for Wood to leave so she could work through her emotions alone.
Oliver didn’t say anything in response, he stood where he was propped and just...watched her. It was slightly unnerving.
Tommie tried to ignore it but she could feel his eyes raking over her face. She squirmed uncomfortably but she wasn’t about to try and make conversation with him right now. She’d answer if he spoke to her but she wasn’t making this easy for him.
“Why are you having such a hard time with this decision? You obviously like Quidditch...” He finally interrupted the silence, snapping his eyes up to hers.
“Wood,” She frowned. “It's literally none of your business.”
“We're friends aren't we?” He asked with a grin, knowing that Tommie would feel differently.
“Friends is a bit of a stretch.”
When Tommie didn't answer his original question he rounded the last step to her level and slid into the seat next to her, one arm gripping the back of their bench and the other on the table edge. He had caged her in, whether this was intentional she wasn’t sure. “Look, I promise I won't bug you about joining the team any more if you just tell me why. I just want to know why.”
Her eyes flickered over his face, he looked very serious.... “No.” She told him.
Oliver paused, pursing his lips, and ducking his face to stay within her eye line every time she moved. He couldn’t make her keep eye contact but he could definitely prove he wasn’t leaving her alone until he got a real answer.
Tommie raised her eyes to look at Oliver who was gazing up at her his lips slightly parted. Tommie's tongue darted out to wet her now dry lips and Oliver's eyes very obviously followed the movement.
The air changed then, became thicker and stifling. Everything felt too close and too much, including Oliver. She was having trouble breaking eye contact with him and his face felt like it was drawing closer. If this was some sort of plan to get her to confess it was a stupid one, surely he wasn’t going to chicken her into responding?
It became clear that he was as he advanced closer, he was going to kiss her if she didn’t tell him. What an absolutely disgusting move, of course Oliver was going to resort to the only tactic he knew.
“It's my dad!” She blurted before Oliver could get any further. He instantly drew back and Tommie took the chance to sit back flush against the bench. Face nowhere near his.
Oliver frowned at her. “What?”
“It's my dad. He's the reason I won't join the Quidditch team.” Tommie’s dad was very rarely spoken about, if ever. He knew that her father had left when she was a child and she’d never heard from him again. She joked about it sometimes but Oliver could see the laughter never quite reached her eyes.
When Oliver's frown just deepened she sighed and sat back. “My dad is the manager of the Hollyhead Harpies-” She could see Wood's face light up “No! No, see this is why I use my mothers maiden name!”
“I wasn't going to-”
“Yes you were.”
“Okay, so maybe I-”
“If I join the team and he finds out, he’ll think my achievements are due to him. He has contributed nothing to my life and I don’t want him getting credit for the thing I enjoy the most. I don't want to get by on the perks of his name and job, I want to get by on my own talent.”
“What if your dad doesn't find out you join the team?”
“What do you mean?”
“I can talk to Mcgonagall about not letting your dad know about it. He won't get letters or whatever about games and scores like everyone else does.” He was talking so animatedly, arms flying as his volume rose.
“Oliver-”
“She probably won't agree to it unless you agree to tutoring though...”
“Oliver please let me speak, you’re not getting it.” She stood up and navigated around him, carefully picking her way down a few steps, putting as much space between them as she could. “Let’s say McGonagall agrees, he never finds out but I realise that Quidditch is it for me, that’s what I want to do as a career, it’s the only thing I can ever see myself doing. I try out for a bunch of teams, I get into some low level league team and work my way up. His name will still be looming over me. Some reporter for the Daily Prophet will find out, and that’s all anyone will ever see. All of my achievements, my hard work will be for nothing. I can’t even tempt myself with that dream, the little taste of it I’ve had at that one practice is almost overwhelming. He’s destroyed so much of my life, I can’t let him destroy this too Wood.”
Oliver blinked at her for a few moments, the sheer defeat in her eyes shattering all the resolve in his chest. He couldn’t push her to do this, Gryffindor having a secret weapon to win the cup wasn’t worth setting Tommie on this path, she was right, no matter what she did to try and outrun his shadow it would always be following her if she chose to pursue Quidditch. No amount of willpower or talent would change the fact that he was her father. “Cresswell…” The words stuck in his throat, he didn’t know how to tell her if he could give her anything in the world it would be the ability to outshine the looming darkness of her past. It wasn’t fair that these circumstances she had no control over, that some man being unable to love her unconditionally like he should have, could put such an impassable ravine in her dreams.
“I’m so sorry.” He settled on instead. “I shouldn’t have pushed you like this.”
Tommie had descended the last few steps and was at the door before Oliver could try and stop her, not that he was going to. She turned to him once before leaving. “I’m sorry too Wood.”