Remus Lupin and What it Means to Be Gryffindor

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
G
Remus Lupin and What it Means to Be Gryffindor
Summary
On a fateful Halloween night in 1981, Remus Lupin is not there. In fact, he doesn't find out until several days later. Now faced with a betrayal, a loss, and a chance for a happy ending, Remus only needs to be brave enough to face it head on.
Note
This won't be a super long fic, but I do have several scenes planned out in my head.I reread Prisoner of Azkaban and I was like "why did Remus never talk to Sirius after he was convicted!?!" It sounded like he just immediately accepted that his oldest friend (maybe lover) was guilty of murder?!?! Like okay, yeah right. Let Rowling blame it on Remus being poor, I guess.This fic is basically just a what-if idea because Remus Lupin deserved better I guess in my head Remus and Sirius started dating some time during their 7th year and moved in together after they graduated and joined the war effort. So...math...that would mean they've been going out for about 4 years by now.Also: I do not support any of Rowling's transphobic views
All Chapters Forward

News

Remus Lupin needed to leave.

He needed to get away. He needed to be...not here.

Remus forced his legs to move. He dragged his feet forward. He stumbled through the bar. Suddenly the music seemed too loud, the lights too bright. Waves of nausea rolled through him. His head swam. The sharp cold of the air outside the pub pulled Remus out of his stupor. He keeled over and vomited on the ragged tiles of Diagon Alley.

Sirius

Remus needed to warn him. He needed to tell Sirius...what? What did he need to tell Sirius?

Remus' thoughts felt like molasses in his brain.

Remus had guessed that Sirius was James' Secret Keeper months ago. What with the strange disappearances, the halfhearted lies. But...If Sirius was James' and Lily's Secret Keeper, then he must have known. He must already know that they were...that they were...but that wasn't right. If Sirius knew, why hadn't he told Remus? Why hadn't he gotten a Patronus, an owl, anything? Unless...no. And there was that thought again. That ugly, evil thought had wormed its way into his head. Only this time, it was harder to ignore. What if the spy was Sirius?

Remus needed to get away. He needed to find Sirius.

_____

When Remus apparated to their flat, the lights were off. His hand shook as he unlocked the door.

Remus didn't dare to breathe. He padded through the apartment, a ghost in his own house. Nothing seemed out of place, out of the ordinary. He wandered the rooms, looking for a sign of his lover. The sheets on their bed were still crinkled, Sirius' side much more so than Remus'. The fridge was still stocked with food. The television Sirius had insisted on getting was turned off. A cup of cold tea had been left on the coffee table. A book was still open, unread.

Remus made it to the garage. Sirius' beloved motorbike was missing. He could still smell the scent of motor oil and grease. Sirius was not there.

Remus sank to the floor of the garage. Something deep inside him had shattered. He supposed it was the hope that his lover would still be there, ready to comfort him, ready to tell him it was going to be okay. He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at the walls of their garage. After what felt like years, something in Remus solidified.

James and Lily. He needed to know what happened. The Prophet had said Godric's Hollow.

_____

Their house was in shambles. This was the first thing Remus noticed. The second was the scorching scent of powerful magic.

Very gently, Remus opened the gate. The front door had been kicked in and all of the windows were shattered. A crater sat in the side of the house, right where...right where Harry's room would be.

Remus stepped onto the landing. Another wave of nausea rolled over him. He smelled it before he saw it. A metallic, rich scent that could only have belonged to one person. His body had been cleared out, but the blood of James Potter was splattered all over the staircase. It couldn't have been more than a couple of days old. Remus gagged.

Remus forced his legs to move. He stepped up the steps, one at a time. Only allowing himself to collapse, in gasping, ragged sobs, at the top of the landing. There, at the top of the steps was another scent. Remus followed it to Harry's nursery. The bright blue of the nursery's walls had turned brown and purple. Lily.

The scorching magic was hers. The last remnants of his two best friends.

It was all too much.

Remus apparated back to the flat. He curled up on the bed, sobbing. Eventually, sleep took him.

_____

Sunlight was streaming through the curtains. Half-conscious, Remus stood up and walked into the kitchen. He was halfway to pouring himself a cup of tea before yesterday's events came crashing down on him. The teacup shattered on the ground. A burning hot sensation enveloped Remus' hand. He swore and managed to push his hand under the cold water of the faucet.

"Ah! Remus! You are awake, I take it?" came a voice from behind him.

Remus whipped around, hand already halfway to his wand. Bright blue twinkling eyes met his own. "Albus?" Remus sighed in relief.

Albus Dumbledore inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I received your Patronus. However," The old wizard spoke, "Due to unfortunate circumstances, you may have to give up your position in the packs".

"What?" Remus breathed. His mind still hadn't caught up with the conversation.

"The werewolf packs are no longer necessary." Dumbledore continued, "I do not believe we will require you to participate in Order missions any longer, Remus".

The wolf packs? A Patronus? Of course, Remus had nearly forgotten. Suddenly Remus remembered who he was talking to. Dumbledore would know what happened, he had to. Remus whispered, "What happened to James and Lily?"

The old man's face turned grave. His cheery air wilted into something more earnest. "Am I to understand you have heard, then?"

"The-The Leakey Cauldron was celebrating. I...I think I got a copy of the Prophet from Tom." Remus screwed up his eyes, trying to parse through the events of last night. "I came home to talk to...to Sirius, but he wasn't home, so I went straight to Godric's Hollow" At this, his voice gave out. In no more than a whisper, pleaded "What happened to them, Albus? Please...I-I need to know".

"Perhaps this conversation better be had over a cup of tea" Dumbledore offered. The teacup at Remus's feet had repaired itself at some point during their conversation. Remus stared at it blankly, allowing himself to be pulled to the couch by the old wizard.

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