An Anthology of Fate

In most worlds, Severus Snape is a polarising figure. For some, Severus is the paragon of unrequited love. A man whose quiet good deeds were done not for riches or glory, but for the memory of a woman he loved completely. It helps of course, that the Chosen One tends to heap plaudits upon him – even name a second son for him. But for others, Snape is nothing more than a scoundrel that followed his own twisted morality until, completely by accident, he served the light. It would be tempted to adjudge these people to be cynical, heartless, pessimists – but can you really blame them? Was it love that Snape had for Lily Evans, or was it obsession? If you loved someone – truly and completely – would you so nonchalantly dismiss the death of their son and husband? Would you ever, even for a moment, consider allying yourself with a cause that seeks their extinction? Let alone join the ranks of a group actively hunting them.

A scoundrel might, but a good man would not.

As with most things, the truth likely exists in the space between the two polarities. Snape was not truly evil, but neither was he good. Well, in most worlds. In some – where Lily and James survive, or else Lily never existed to begin with – Snape is subsumed by the darkness. Not a triple agent, but Voldemort’s terrible right hand. In such worlds, he is responsible for more deaths than just Dumbledore. He kills Neville maybe, James perhaps, possibly even Harry. But, in other worlds, he is good. Truly good. Love finds its way into Severus’ shrivelled up bezoar of a heart, love from places he wouldn’t have expected and certainly, was never looking. Again, he is no triple agent. But this time, he serves the light, not the dark.

In one world, that change starts with Sirius Black. In that world, the torture Sirius suffers at the hands of his parents is exponentially greater. Where previously, his status as heir might have saved him (at least until he became a Gryffindor), now he experiences the full force of his parent’s cruelty from birth. As does his brother and for Sirius, that’s far more painful than any cruciatus curse, belt or clenched fist. He hates seeing that look in his brother’s eyes – the haunted gloominess of a boy who learnt far too early how to deal with suffering. So, when Sirius sees that same look in the eyes of Severus Snape on the Hogwarts Express, his first instinct is not boyhood cruelty, but kindness.

“So… Severus, wasn’t it? Where do you think you’ll end up? What house I mean”

 “Well I was thinking Slytherin of course, just like my mother.”

James gave a derisive snort, which earns him a kick to the ankle from Sirius. Sirius just nods sagely.

“Slytherin’s ok I suppose – that’s where all my family is from. They’re pretty awful though. Well, apart from my Uncle Alphard – he’s the kindest man I know and he’s a Slytherin. They can’t be all bad.”

Severus is hesitant, unsure. He’s never had a friend besides Lily, nor has he often been shown kindness. He doesn’t really know how to accept it, how to let his guard down long enough and keep the chip off his shoulder. Eventually he forms a response.

“Maybe you’ll be another kind Slytherin.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Only, as always, Sirius is a Gryffindor. It’s impossible for him not to be. This Sirius is the bravest of all the Padfoots, he’s spent an entire childhood shielding his baby brother from his parent’s wrath. Lily, strong willed and a tad headstrong, follows him. This time, when Sirius budges up to make room for her, Lily smiles and gladly sits down next to him. This time, it isn’t going to take six years for them to become firm friends. Remus, Peter and James head off to the Gryffindor table as well.  Severus – well, he’s a Slytherin of course. One train compartment conversation can’t change the character of a person. Besides, good men are not forged by easy paths and a set of instantly welcoming dormmates. Look at Pettigrew. Good men are forged by choosing what is right over what is easy, each and every day. They are forged by hardship and defiance. Severus will earn that in spades as a Slytherin.

Severus’ dormmates would make just about anyone prefer the company of a mountain troll. McNair spend most of his youth killing the pets of his muggle neighbours. When he looks at Severus, he sees a long-whipped puppy and salivates at the potential to inflict further cruelty. Avery is a mean faced boy whose greatest desire is to systematically curse every muggle-born in the castle. He keeps a list. Then there’s Mulciber. Where Severus’ other two roommates are only dancing with darkness, Mulicber had already given himself to it completely. The details are too dark to bare thinking about, but put it this way – he’d mastered the memory charm by the time he’d even started Hogwarts. Lily called him creepy once, that doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Severus is easy prey to them. Taunts about his muggle father and ‘slut mother’ dog Severus for his first few weeks at Hogwarts. In other worlds, not brave enough to stand up to his bullies, Severus tries to blend in – to join them and push them towards other targets. In this world, Severus still isn’t brave enough. But this time, he has Sirius to be brave for him.

When Mulciber begins a long lecture on pure-blood superiority, Snape listens intently. Thankfully, its Sirius with whom he discusses his newfound ideas. Sirius doesn’t get angry, he isn’t even disappointed. He just sighs heavily.

“Look Sev, your dad isn’t the way he is because he’s a muggle. He’s that way because he’s an absolute bastard. My parents are as pure blood as they come and I’ve endured everything you have. There’s no great mystery to these things, muggles and wizards alike are assholes because their assholes.”

Sirius has grown up with these cruel boys, endured their company during high society dinners. He put up with their shite himself, but when anyone even dared to touch his little brother… let’s just say most of Slytherin house is already scared of Sirius Black. That protective spirit ignites when he sees sadness wrapping itself around Severus at meal times and flares at every bust lip. Severus tells him not to, insists he can deal with it himself, but arguing with Sirius is like trying to stop the sun from setting.

November comes and Mulciber hexes Lily Evans. In the grand scope of the crimes Mulciber has and will commit, it’s not particularly egregious. An instant scalping hex which does more emotional damage than physical. Lily insists on staying in the hospital wing overnight while her hair regrows. The other Gryffindors are furious. So is Snape, but he doesn’t say it, he holds the anger quietly inside of himself, as he always does. That’s not enough for Sirius.

“What use are you to anyone if you won’t stand up for your best friend, Sev? This is Lily we’re talking about…”

Severus doesn’t have many friends, he can count them on one hand – Lily, Sirius, Peter, James and Remus. Lily may be his oldest friend, but these days, Sirius is his closest. Hearing the disappointment in Sirius’ voice is simply too much for him to bare. That night, Lily Evans is joined in the Hospital Wing by a bruised and battered Severus Snape. Mulciber didn’t take kindly to Severus standing up to him. But, at least Severus went out on his feet, standing up for his friend. Sirius couldn’t have been prouder.

Until that is, the very next morning, a freshly discharged Severus walks over to the Gryffindor table and sits down for breakfast. A silence fills the hall, followed by a fierce muttering. Several older Slytherin students stand up and draw their wands, furious. But, so do a few Gryffindors. Frank Longbottom, Alice Trevor, Edgar Bones and Benjy Fenwick all rise to defend a Slytherin with the bravery of a Gryffindor. There and then, battle lines are drawn. This time, Severus Snape finds himself on the side of the light.

From that moment on, the five Gryffindors and Severus are inseparable. In this world, there are six Marauders, not four. In this world, having been able to closely observe Remus for months, Severus realises the nature of his affliction after only eight months at Hogwarts. Snape drags Sirius from the library and ushers him into an abandoned classroom, panic stricken and white faced.

“Sirius… I don’t even know how to tell you this, but… Remus… I think he’s a werewolf.”

Severus bites out the word with fear and prejudice. Sirius gives him the sternest version of his disappointed face.

“Yeah, I know.”

 “What do you mean – you know?”

Severus isn’t sure what annoys him the most – Sirius’ nonchalance that he’s sharing a dormitory with a monster, or else that his friends didn’t confide in him.

“I. Know. We’ve known for months now. Remus told me not to say anything to you – he was convinced you’d take it poorly. I told him he was wrong. I told him you could be trusted.”

“Trusted? But Sirius, werewolves are XXXXX magical creatures. Monsters Sirius, uncontrollable, likely to kill their best friends at a moment’s notice.”

“This is Remus we’re talking about, you div. Remus. Do me a favour and think about that for longer than it takes to get into a tizzy.”

Sirius saunters off, but now before calling over his shoulder one more time.

“You’ll let me know when you’ve stopped being such a wanker, won’t you?”

Severus does think about that. He thinks of Remus, Remus who shares his love of Blyton and Dahl. Remus who knows the words to ‘Hey Jude’ and ‘Waterloo Sunset’. Remus who, unlike Peter and James, never for one moment hesitated in offering Severus his friendship. Next potions class, he sits next to Remus rather than Lily, ringing his hands nervously.

“I know, about you’re erm… furry little problem. I figured it out. Is there… is there anything I can do to help?”

From the table beside them, Sirius beams with pride.

Precious little changes those first three years at Hogwarts, the allegiance of one person cannot alter the way of things – not while he’s only eleven and still so sheepish. But, there are subtle changes. The Marauders help Severus with his general health for one thing, something which his parents never bothered with. Sirius buys him shampoo for Christmas, only half-jokingly. James promises Severus a life time supply of Sleakeasy’s hair potion. Remus takes Snape out to the lake when spring comes in early, they both need to work on their tan. Peter and Lily usher him off to the kitchens from time to time, returning with interest the sporadic periods of starvation inflicted by his father.

It is this healthy, courageous and confident Severus which starts his fourth year at Hogwarts. He stands straight backed, hair lacking its usual grease, sallow skin now ever so slightly tanned. He still has his hooked nose, but he honestly is starting to like the distinctiveness of that particular feature. But, these changes cannot stop fate. These changes cannot make Lily Evans love him as anything more than a brother. In this world, Lily and James are friends from the off. Inevitably, they realise they fancy eachother far quicker. They’re still fourteen, so it’s not more than a fleeting kiss on Halloween. But as always, it cuts deep for Severus. In some ways, it’s worse for him – the girl he loves is being whisked away not by his mortal enemy, but by one of his best friends. Remus talks him round. How many blokes actually end up with their first loves? There fourteen for Merlin’s sake. Besides, was it really Lily Evans he loved to begin with, or was it the fact she saved him from purgatory in Spinner’s End? Severus Snape has many other friends, who love him just as unconditionally as Lily does. She may have been the first to rescue him, but she most certainly isn’t the last. At which point Sirius pipes up, his mouth full of the Honeydukes chocolate which Remus had been passing between the three of them.

“Yeah, exactly. Besides Sev, it’s not like you’re a munter, there’s other fish in the sea. Y’know what I mean? Pass the fudge, Remus.”

It takes a while and it’s bloody hard, but eventually, Severus Snape sets aside the notion of Lily Evans being anything other than his best friend. Always is still always. Only in this world the love is of healthy fraternity, rather than a one-sided obsession. Besides, Severus reasons, there’s far worse blokes Lily could be with.

Propelled by Severus’ cunning and Lily’s intellect, the Marauders unlock the mysteries of animagi a year earlier than usual. Severus in particular has worked tirelessly from the moment he saw the latticework of scars across Remus’ skins. It’s a gruelling process, but far easier with two master-potioneers in the making to aid them. All six transform as winter turns to spring. A rat, a dog, a stag, a doe and a bat. Lily is christened Brighteyes, but it was altogether more difficult to settle on a same for Severus. ‘Leather-wing’, ‘Double-fang’ and ‘Ugly-fucker’ (that last one was from Sirius), are shot down with increasing irritation by the bat in question. Suddenly, Remus bursts out in a fit of giggles.

“Oh… I’ve got it… I’ve bloody got it – Vlad.”

The Marauders erupt into laughter, Severus groans in a long-suffering manor. From then on, he is Vlad. Occasionally, James hisses at Severus and sweeps his robes up to cover the bottom half of his face when he encounters him in corridors. Sometimes, Remus pulls him back inside as he attempts to leave the castle.

“No Severus – not the sunlight!”

From time to time, Sirius makes a cross out of his breadsticks at dinner or else just lobs garlic bread at his head. Severus loves every minute of it, though he plays along at being grumpy. In this world, he isn’t ‘Snivellus’ – he’s Vlad. He’s in on the joke . The name, though foolish and uninspired, fills him with a little bit of warmth every time it’s used. He’s wanted. He has a place in this world.

Snape’s also not entirely unsuccessful in his romantic endeavours. He’s not a suave lothario in the making, like Sirius. Nor, as confidently charming as James. But, he has his own qualities. He’s not un-appealing, now that the grease, pallor and bitterness has been washed away. Besides, he’s got a reputation for being admirably brave. It takes a certain weight of bollocks for a Slytherin to sit at the Gryffindor table at the age of Eleven. Even more so to systematically oppose your own house bullying muggleborns for the next three years. His first kiss is with Florence Fortscue behind greenhouse three. They got to know each other over library study sessions and it just sort of happened, as these things do when you’re fourteen. It wasn’t a total unmitigated disaster, certainly they both enjoy it. But, Bertha Jorkins sees them and streaks off giggling towards the great hall, loudly calling out that ‘Flo is snogging Severus’. Severus lets the moment get the better of him and before he knows it, he’s hit the gossipy girl with a pus squirting hex. He ends up in front of the headmaster for that, shame faced and anxious. He’s convinced he’s going to be expelled. Sure, a lot of people fire off hexes in Hogwarts, but most don’t do it in the great hall in front of a perplexed Albus Dumbledore tucking into an extra helping of toad-in-the-hole. But, to his surprise, Dumbledore only smiles, eyes twinkling.

“Ah, Severus, you mustn’t fret dear boy. I too was young once, though you might not believe it. These things happen. Hogwarts has seen it all. Now, I must condemn your use of such a volatile hex, even if Mrs. Jorkins was acting a touch… exuberantly. You will have to serve detention, but rest assured, I will be talking to her about this matter as well.”

The Marauders tease him senseless over that particular episode for a solid month, but all in all, Severus supposed it could’ve been worse. His several Hogsmeade dates with Amelia Bones are far more enjoyable. Especially after she refuses, with complete disgust, the suggestion of tea at Madam Puddifoot’s. However, after a few chaste kisses, they both decide they’d be better off as friends.

Other than those two, Severus discovers that he is, rather unfortunately, a boy who falls in love far too quickly. He develops a significant crush on Andromeda Tonks, even though she’s a seventh year. That lasted a good two months before Sirius cottoned on and loudly roared his disgust.

“Eww… Merlin Severus, she’s my cousin!”

Then, after Alice Trevor stopped Mulciber locking Serverus inside a suit of armour, he starts to blush violently whenever she so much as says hello to him. That crush is only remedied by Emeline Vance, a Ravenclaw in their year. One potions lesson, she passes him a set of scales and their hands briefly touch. Severus nurses that flame through the summer break and into his fifth year.

That’s a year which is tough for the Marauders. There’s no near fatal prank played on Severus, of course, but the world is still cruel enough without it. Voldemort is getting braver, his ideology more dogmatic, his supporters more fanatical. It seeps into Hogwarts via Slytherin house. Hardly a day goes by where Severus isn’t targeted, he’s in the hospital wing more than Lupin now. Slughorn – the old walrus – is completely useless. He’s too busy playing favourites and turning a blind eye. But, it’s worse for the muggleborns. Avery shares his list, Mulciber and his cronies start prowling the corridors, increasingly dark curses on their lips. The Marauders marshal themselves and get to work. Lily, Sirius and Severus, prefects themselves, make sure no muggleborns walks through the corridors alone. The others use the map and the cloak to pop up wherever Mulciber’s lot are lurking, hitting them with body bind curses and sticking them to walls.

Mulciber gets frustrated. As their fifth year comes to an end, he wants to make a statement, hit the marauders where it hurts. He’s too afraid of Sirius Black to go after Lily, but, there’s another muggleborn fifth-year in Gryffindor. So, one day in a crowded hallway, Mulciber targets Mary Macdonald with a particular potent bit of dark magic. A blood boiling curse – not fatal – but second in pain only to crucio.

“No!”

Severus sees where the curse is headed, he steps in front of Mary. Now, Mary and Severus are casual acquaintances at best, both friends of Lily’s, but not with each other. There’s no animosity between them, it’s just that Severus has never really tried hard to make friends beyond the Marauders. He spent his childhood with no friends after all, five is already more than he ever could have dreamed of. But, this Severus is still brave enough and selfless enough to protect Mary purely because it’s the right thing to do.

Severus almost regrets it when he hits the floor, writhing in absolute agony. He definitely regrets it when he wets himself from the sheer force of the pain. He wakes up in the hospital wing a day later, surrounded by Gryffindors. Lily looks terrified, Sirius looks furious. Mary looks like she doesn’t know what to say. It’s her best friend, Marlene McKinnon who speaks first.

“That was really brave, Sev.”

Now, as already established, Severus Snape is a boy who falls in love rather easily. So, when an extremely pretty blonde girl says something like that to him, the result is inevitable. But, just because his crushes have been misplaced the last dozen times, doesn’t mean this one is. Like her best-friend Mary, Severus doesn’t know Marlene too well. Unlike Mary, who Severus is naturally inclined to like, Marlene is something of an enigma. Her haughtiness and bluntness would, in Severus’ opinion, make her an excellent candidate for Slytherin. She likes Mary and Lily well enough, but she seems to think the rest of them are beneath her. She sniffs airily at every one of their jokes, scowls horribly at every prank they pulled. To be honest, Severus is a touch scared of her. He’s seen her capacity to verbally rip other people to shreds over the slightest infraction. She’s obsessive about marks as well. Once in their third year, she’d cornered him in the library and demanded to know just how he was so good at potions.

“I dunno, I just am.”

“You just are?!”

But, none of that matters to a boy who falls in love easily. Severus Snape spends the last two weeks of their fifth year dreamily watching Marlene McKinnon. It’s too late to do anything about his crush this year, but he vows to get to know Marlene in his sixth.

He doesn’t have to wait long. Tobias Snape does not appreciate the positive changes in his son. He doesn’t like the fact that no matter the cruelty inflicted upon Severus, the boy stands straight backed, chin jutting out in defiance. That summer is particularly rough and spurred on by Sirius Black’s own desertion of his family home, Severus turns his back on Spinner’s End for good. He gives his mother one last choice, tells her to come with him. She refuses once more and Severus knows deep down, he can’t save her. He ends up at Lily’s house. Much to the delight of everyone other than Petunia, the place has become a second home to Severus over the years – a haven from the abuse. Thankfully, Petunia had already left her family home, taking a secretarial position in a London drill firm.

For the first time in his life, Severus Snape has a summer filled with unconditional love. Mrs. Evans bakes him cookies by the doze, switching to apple crumble the second she realises its Severus’ favourite. When Mr. Evans hears Severus has never been to a zoo, never seen a movie, never even seen a football game – he takes matters into his own hands. Severus experiences the wonders of childhood all in the space of a single summer. By the time August rolls around, he’s quite convinced life can’t get any better. Then, Marlene McKinnon comes to stay. She’s a runaway of sorts herself. Her parents are great, but she can’t stand the way they’re constantly fretting over her OWL results. Marlene’s nervous enough as it is without the well-meaning (yet, still infuriating) comments from both of her parents. So, she decides to hide out at Lily’s for the rest of the summer. Severus practically died happiness when he got the news.

Marlene isn’t her usually haughty self. She’s still blunt, distressingly so sometimes, but Severus starts to find that more endearing than anything else. He’s delighted that Marlene shares his fascination with magic theory. Severus goes moony-eyed when Marlene confesses she wants to be an unspeakable – he thinks that just so amazing. After the customary trip to Diagon Alley, the pair of them pour over Severus’ copy of Advanced potion making, scrawling updates in the margins. Frankly, it’s ridiculously outdated. At some point, on a day when he’s feeling particularly brave, Severus flips to the front of the book, quill in hand.

This book is property of Vlad and Marlene – potioneer and master unspeakable in the making.

Marlene beams at him.

When their OWL results arrive, Lily and Severus tear open their letters. Their results are identical, all Os – bar History of Magic, Astronomy and Herbology which are Es. Marlene sits on the Evan’s family sofa, staring at her own letter with wide eyes and trembling hands. Eventually, after what feels like an age, she pries open the letter. Marlene goes completely still. Lily peers over her shoulder, concerned.

“That’s amazing, Marls. Eleven Os and an E!”

Marlene just sobs in response.

“No, it isn’t! I’m supposed to be perfect – I can’t get an E.”

Severus pipes up before he can stop himself.

“You are perfect, Marlene.”

Marlene blinks at him. Then pulls him onto the sofa and buries her head into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. At that point, Severus thinks he might just have a chance after all. Eventually, Marlene stops crying – mostly thanks to a visit from her parents who insist that they are incredibly proud of her (who cares about Divination anyway, it’s a silly subject really). Severus decides he isn’t going to wait until the first Hogsmeade weekend – an agonising two months away – to ask Marlene out. Their first date is a muggle one, American fast food, followed by a brief walk in the park and hot chocolate. They kiss and Severus thinks his heart is about to burst out of its chest. He is completely and utterly, head over heels, in love. Proper love, this time. That ‘always’ type of love which sticks with you for the rest of your days. Only this time, Severus Snape has found someone who can say ‘always’ back.

At Hogwarts, his relationship with Marlene grows from strength to strength. Eventually he shows her how he got the name Vlad. Marleen coos happily at the site of the leathery winged Severus, snatching him up and petting the top of his head.

“Is this to help Remus then, on full moons?”

Severus stares back at Marlene, horrified.

“Oh please, I figured it out before Christmas our first year.”

Severus starts to learn that Marlene’s blunt and haughty nature is just an act, meant to shield her from the pressures her parents heap on her, or the special sort of cruelty school children can inflict. To her friends, she is kind, warm and caring. Such friendship extents to James and Remus now, Sirius as well though more reluctantly. Not Peter though. Marlene doesn’t like Peter. Doesn’t like the way he’s always skulking in the background. She especially doesn’t like the way he seems to hierarchically rank his friends – James at the top, Severus at the bottom. It’s subtle and extremely difficult to catch, but Peter is always putting Severus down, constantly remined everyone he’s a Slytherin and a runaway. Marlene says nothing, because she knows it would only upset her boyfriend, but she always has one wary eye on Peter Pettigrew.

They learn to cast a patronus that year. James and Lily are first, a stag and a doe. That sets the class giggling. Remus gets his wolf quick enough, followed by Sirius and his great shaggy black dog. Peter can’t manage to get the charm working. Severus wonders why. He himself manages slightly later than the rest. It’s easy to decide on a memory – his first kiss with Marlene, but he just can’t seem to get it right at first. Eventually, though, a silver bat streaks from his wand. Marlene promptly produces an exact replica. The class breaks out in giggling again, with added wolf whistles and cheers from the Marauders. Marlene simply smiles happily and nods.

“I thought so.”

The day Severus Snape comes of age is the best of his life. In most worlds, Severus Snape would receive little more than a few terse congratulations from his would-be Deatheater pals. No presents, no party. The Marauders and most especially Marlene, are not about to let that happen. Owls go out and plans are hatched. Marlene coaxes Severus into the Gryffindor common room for a proper celebration. The turnout is extensive, Severus Snape has helped a lot of people over the years. Not just by blocking hexes, but by helping with homework assignments, suggesting just the right library book or explaining the finer points of gobstones to home-sick first years. Waiting for him is a stack of presents. From Marlene, he gets a new wallet, with a picture of the two of them placed carefully in one of the pockets. Severus will use that wallet till the day he dies, taking out the picture for a quick look whenever he needs to remember the really important things in life. The Marauders get him a simple silver wrist watch. Sirius clear his throat gruffly.

“It’s tradition to give a watch on Christmas. Normally your family should be the one and … well… we are your family.”

Severus nods, blinking rapidly, fighting the urge to tear up. Macho hugs are exchanged all round, filled with blokey bravado. Severus Snape feels like he’s experienced a lifetime of happiness within a single day.

Which is a very good thing, because darkness is never far away these days. The Prophet comes the next morning, detailing the murders of Molly and Arthur Weasley. In this world, both the Weasleys sign up to the Order, both of them get unlucky one night while on duty. A darkness clouds the castle. A young couple deeply in love taken far too quickly, leaving three sons orphaned. Bill, Charlie and Percy end up in the care of Molly’s twin older brothers.

Severus Snape is the first to become an order member, still only a sixth year. Dumbledore summons him to his office one night, looking more tired than Severus had ever seen him. There’s a job that needs doing and Severus is the only who can do it.

“We are losing this war, my boy. This is a hard thing I ask of you – especially when you are still too young and only just now finding true happiness. But, ask I must.”

“Professor, every friend I have is a muggleborn or a blood-traitor. You don’t have to ask. Just tell me what to do.”

Spy becomes spymaster. See, oh so quietly, Severus Snape has spent the last six years carefully fighting against blood-supremacist ideology within Slytherin House. He snuck muggle comic books to Alexander Greengrass, showed him that not all things muggle are inferior. He introduced Augustus Rookwood – an aspiring unspeakable – to Marlene, showed him that there are other ways besides darkness to achieve your goald. His efforts re-doubled with the absence of Mulciber, who had been expelled the year prior for the blood boiling hex. Avery and McNair are far less formidable without their ringleader – the Marauders keep them in check.

Above all, Severus targets Regulus Black. Regulus Black did not take cues from Sirius’ bravery, when he first joined the school. He did what Severus did not, he blended in, he pushed his bullies towards other targets. It was so much easier for him to choose that path. Nothing marked him as different, he had no muggle parent as Severus did.  Sirius tries to get through to him, harder in this world than most. It doesn’t help. When the beatings from his parents stop in response, Regulus black becomes more firmly entrenched in his beliefs than ever. Sirius gives up, insists his brother is dead to him. Severus doesn’t, though. Absent Mulciber, it’s Severus – under Dumbledore’s instruction – who becomes the voice in Regulus ear. Sirius. Your parents. Sirius. Your parents. Over and over again, drilling into Regulus Black that his brother saved him, his parents hurt him. Darkness. Light. Darkness. Light. Reminding him that light can be found even when you’ve spent years choosing the darkness. Severus gets through to Regulus just before his NEWTS. Regulus makes the decision. The Order has its spy.

But, so does Voldemort. When the Marauders and Marlene join the Order, Dumbledore gains six outstanding fighter and one rat. Peter Pettigrew. Once, he may have joined Voldemort out of fear, now he joins him out of malice. He’s already jealous enough of James and Sirius, so perfect, so dashing, so popular. But now, Snape’s in the equation. For seven years, he watched his friends place a Slytherin above him. It’s Snape who James trusts with important pranks, Snape who makes Sirius beam with pride, Snape who the werewolf confides in. Snape gets a girl, something Peter never managed. Well, not unless you count the handful that used him to get close to Sirius. For Peter, Severus Snape has a life which should have been his. The cuckoo in the nest. Peter spends his Hogwarts years feeling completely unwanted. But, Voldemort wants him. Peter turns willingly and ardently.

None of the Marauders, nor Marlene get jobs. They pool their resources and attack the war head on. The Order becomes their mission and their only goal. Well, mostly. Lily and James get married, as always, but it’s a double wedding – Marlene and Severus join them. Sirius is best man to both grooms. It’s the one bright spot among the still darkening days. Order members drop like flies. Marlene’s whole family is murdered. James’ parents are slaughtered by Voldemort personally – a message designed to show the cost of resistance. Frank and Benjy fall, Dorcas and Caradoc. The Prewett twins nearly perish in an ambush, only survive because Regulus manages to get word to Severus. When Severus’ bat Patronus streaks into the Order’s headquarters, only Augusta Longbottom is there. The old matriarch grimaces, straightens her hideous hat and marches off to war. She refuses to allow those three Weasleys to be orphaned a second time. She saves the Prewetts just as they’re about to be overwhelmed, duels five Deatheaters singlehandedly for a good ten minutes. The Prewetts get away, but Augusta is killed by Antonin Dolohov. Alice and Frank mourn, as such, Neville Longbottom is born in December, not July.

Far too many funerals for the Marauders to bare, especially when they hit so close to home. But somehow, light finds its way back in it. Lily becomes pregnant. She goes to tell Marlene, only to find out, that she’s expected too. Same due date. Fate starts spinning onwards. In the backroom of the Hogshead, Sibyl Trelawney spouts forth her prophecy. Thrice defied, the end of July. Only this time, there’s no spy to overhear and squirrel the vital information to his dark lord. Instead, Severus Snape is with his wife, dutifully holding her hair back while she soldiers through her evening sickness. As always, the prophecy fits the Potters. But this time, it also fits the McKinnon-Snapes. Both thrice defied him – once by refusing to join his ranks, a second by actively fighting against him, a third by living when he ordered their deaths.

But, Voldemort is blissfully unaware of the prophecy. Dumbledore tells the soon to be parents, but sees little point in adding the fidelius charm to their already extensive security measures. Harry James Potter is born on the 31^st of July 1980. Both Sirius and Severus are named his godfather, though both will forever after insist that the other is really Harry’s godmother. Not three hours later, Marlene McKinnon gives birth to a baby girl. Severus Snape is a man who falls in love easily, but nothing has ever been as easy as loving his daughter. He and Marlene debate long and hard over a name. Severus refuses flat out to give her the name Snape, but Marlene wants to continue on his family legacy somehow. In the end, they name their daughter Eliza for Marlene’s mother and Prince for Severus. Naturally, Lily and Sirius are her godparents.

Time trundles on. The Marauders thoroughly enjoy their time as parents, or aunts and uncles. True enough, they still have Order duty. But, now with the world is one of light, not darkness. Peter Pettigrew ruins it. He always does. Six months after Eliza’s birth, Snape almost ends up on the wrong end of an entrails-expelling curse. He’s forced to face his own mortality for the first time since he became a father. He wants insurance, wants someone else to know exactly what his daughter is up against. He tells Sirius, his second oldest and greatest friend. It’s Sirius that convinces him to tell the other Marauders. Remus finds out. So, does Wormtail and by extension, so does Voldemort.

All but one of the Marauders are on duty the night of Halloween. Severus Snape took a blasting curse to his wand arm four nights ago, rendering him useless in a duel. He isn’t even bothering to keep his wand on him at the moment, it’s in his nightstand. His wife is covering his duty, leaving him alone to look after Eliza and Harry. He doesn’t mind one bit – the days he gets to spend with those two are some of his favourite on earth. They’re upstairs now, in the nursery, Severus is taking a well earnt break. One-year olds are exhausting.

It’s this scene of tranquillity that Lord Voldemort so rudely disturbs. Faced with a choice between the half-blood child of Gryffindors and the half-blood child of a Slytherin, Voldemort chooses the latter. It’s just lucky for him that tonight, both are under the same roof. He blasts the front door open, Severus is there in a flash. Alone, wandless, but defiant.

“I will offer you mercy, Severus. Be grateful. Lord Voldemort does not do so often. Stand aside, I have no desire to spill the blood of my house.”

“Never.”

The cruciatus curse rents through Severus, he falls to his knees. Voldemort looms over him.

Snape remembers Sirius black. He remembers a boy who taught him what it is to be brave – to walk through life straight backed, chin jutted and eyes defiant. He remembers Lily Evans who taught him what friendship was and that it was ok to be more than what his father made him. He remembers Marlene. He remembers his gorgeous, smart, courageous wife. A woman that wants nothing more than to simply be a part of his life, to share his laughs and his tears in equal measure, because both are worth their weight in gold to her. He remembers his daughter and his godson. Two little bundles of joy, sleeping soundly in their cots above him. He loves those two far more than it makes sense to love anyone. It’s a kind of love that makes Severus understand what he’s been fighting for all these years. Severus Snape spent his life being beat down, only to be brave enough to climb to his feet. He rises again and stares death right in the face.

“Once more. Only once more Severus. I offer you the choice again. Will you still defy Lord Voldemort?”

“Always.”

[---]

A/N

A very fun one to write. I’m not a fan of book Snape in the way a lot of people I know are. The rallying call of ‘always’ tends to ring a bit hollow for me. Hence the decision to come up with a truly ‘good’ Severus – hopefully I’ve managed to cook up a compelling version. Killing this version of Severus wasn’t easy – especially after I’d written his scenes with Marlene – but it’s necessary to transition into the next phase of the story. Part 2 will focus on Eliza Prince during her Hogwarts years. I’m going to take some time to stew on how I’ll be approaching that chapter, though – so don’t expect it until around chapter six in the anthology.

Up next will be a story which combines my love of football (soccer for you yanks), with my desire for some catharsis. It’s probably going to be a lot more light-hearted and whacky than these last two. Tentatively entitled ‘Sixty Years of Hurt’, it will follow James Sirius Potter as he attempts to win England the Quidditch World Cup.

Thanks for reading, kudos and reviews are appreciated!