Romance at its worst

Evan~

Evan split the small, light blue pill in front of them in two. He gave one half to Barty and kept the other for himself.

“On three?” suggested Barty. Evan nodded. “One…Three!”

Evan rolled his eyes at Barty’s antics, he should have known better. They both threw their heads back and took their respective halves of the pill.

Refined fairy dust. Pretty potent, even in such small quantities as they were taking. Evan had stolen it from his uncle’s bedside table during a family event over the summer, and he’d been saving it for a special occasion for some time. The special occasion in question was the finishing of Barty’s new centipede tattoo. It had taken ages, due in part to the size of the tattoo (it spanned Barty’s whole torso) and also the level of detail on the insect. So many legs and segments. All in all though, Evan was pretty chuffed with it. Barty had forgone wearing a shirt as much as possible to try and show it off. The reminder made Evan squirm.

Technically, the two of them were currently meant to be in class, but when else were they going to have the dorm all to themselves? There was always someone sleeping, or hanging out, or working, or whatever it was their dorm mates got up too. Besides, it wasn’t as if Evan or Barty had ever had much respect for rules. Evan imagined that their teachers (Slughorn especially) might even be relieved at their absence. They were doing them all a favour, really.

“You feel anything yet?” asked Barty. Evan shook his head slightly, and as he did it, it felt lighter than usual. “Let’s lie on the floor,” suggested Barty, and Evan slid off the bed to join him.

“How long do you think it’ll take?” wondered Evan.

“Good things come to those who wait, Rosie,” mimicked Barty.

“I am waiting,” he retorted.

Evan didn’t often take drugs. Not only did most of the kids in their year use muggle drugs (along with their filthy muggle cigarettes), since they were so much easier to get a hold of (use magic to create a fake ID, sneak in with an invisibility cloak, there were lots of different techniques), but Evan liked to remain in control of himself. Alcohol was fine; he’d gotten the hang of it. It wasn’t unpredictable. Fairy dust… Well it was a lot of things. It was pure, and it was clean, and some called it spiritual, but it was definitely not predictable. Or controllable.

“I think it’s kicking in,” announced Barty dreamily after a few minutes of silence. Evan couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but it seemed to have been fast.

“I think so too,” agreed Evan. He was feeling… strange. The relinquishing of control wasn’t awful.

“Merlin, it's not much of an effect, is it?” groaned Barty after a few more minutes, sitting up in frustration.

“What do you mean?” asked Evan from the floor. He was feeling steadily and steadily stranger. Very, very strange.

“I need some more,” proclaimed Barty, who did seem, on all accounts, pretty unaffected. Though it was hard to tell in Evan’s state.

“I’ll get you some more,” he slurred, sitting up slowly and going back to his bedside table. There were two more pills. He took one more out and Barty turned it to powder with his wand.

“Give me your hand, Rosie.”

Evan obliged, too sluggish to fully understand. Barty swept the powder onto the back of Evan’s hand and brought it close to his face. For a second, Evan worried that he was going to snort it, but instead he leaned down and licked it all off. Evan blinked as Barty grinned at him. There was a bit of powder on his upper lip. Evan didn’t say anything. They lay back down on the floor, side by side.

He supposed that Barty did a lot more… substances than him. It figured he’d need more than Evan to get any kind of reaction.

“Say Evan,” began Barty.

“Say, Bats,” replied Evan, and Barty chuckled.

“You know how Reg has got a thing for Potter?”

How could Evan have forgotten? It had been the talk of half the school; Slytherin’s prized top student and Gryffindor’s prized… well, prized idiot.

“Mhmm,” he hummed in confirmation.

“If you had to…” Barty trailed off, laughing a bit, “If you had to date one of that sort, who would you pick?”

“One of them mordors?”

“Yeah, one of them.”

“Lupin,” replied Evan fairly quickly.

“Same,” agreed Barty, looking over and grinning at him from ear to ear.

Evan broke into laughter, something quite out of character for him, and Barty joined in.

“I really want to have sex with you,” said Barty suddenly, his laughter coming to a sharp stop.

“No.” said Evan simply.

“I’m crazy ‘bout you Evs.”

“Fuck off.”

“Please? I want you so bad.”

“That’s all you want to do?” questioned Evan thickly, “Have sex?”

“I don’t know.” whined Barty, “I just want you.”

Evan’s head was swimming.

“When are you gonna get it in your thick head Barty?” he snapped, growing irritated. He rarely used Barty’s first name when addressing him, and it got the other boy’s attention. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

There it was. The uncomfortable words that were always going to come between them.

Barty blinked. Then he frowned. Then he looked quite upset.

“Don’t you want me? Do you even love me?”

Evan watched in horror as his eyes filled with tears.

“Merlin, Bats, of course.” he hissed, his head feeling fuzzy, “I just don’t want…to have sex. Not with you or anyone else. There, you happy?”

“I don’t understand,” said Barty simply.

“Didn’t think you would,” replied Evan curtly. This was a disaster. Why did they have to have this conversation now? When he could hardly think straight and Barty was lying shirtless on the floor next to him, his pretty brown eyes full of tears. “Fuck,” he swore as he stared at the ceiling.

“I’m mad for you,” repeated Barty.

“Stop saying that.”

“I’m absolutely mad for you, Rosier.”

“Yeah, yeah, and I’m head over fucking heels. Just shut up.”

Barty obliged him and Evan could feel himself growing upset as well. He could already feel some of the regret that would seep into his consciousness as soon as he was sober again. He could only hope that Barty forgot all about this.

All of a sudden he felt Barty’s gangly arms reaching around his waist, pulling him closer.

“No sex–

“No.” agreed Barty, nestling into the crook of his arm. Evan relaxed.

“No.” he confirmed.

“No, no. Nope.” slurred Barty.

Barty~

When Barty woke up that evening, he was itching. His skin was crawling and he wanted to scrape it off with his nails, yes, but he was also itching for something else. Someone else. His memory was hazy, but one thing was clear in his mind; Evan had turned him down.

Barty sat suddenly upright. He was in his bed, Evan was in it too. Had something…? No. Nothing. No sex. He was sure of that for some reason.

Still… ‘itching’, Barty slid off the bed. Merlin, he was tired. He walked over to the bathroom and drank some water from the tap, as well as splashing it on his face. He needed to do something. Go somewhere. Somewhere other than here.

With a quick look back at Evan, who was still asleep, Barty slipped out the door and down the stairs. He needed to have sex with someone. Right at that moment.

He scanned the common room and his eyes landed on Marcus Jones. A little older, standing alone, fair game. Barty made a beeline for him. Marcus quickly noticed and even quicker realised just what Barty wanted. He was leading Barty away before he’d even reached him.

“You and Rosier lost us fifty house points you know,” commented Marcus idly.

“Today?” asked Barty.

“Yes, today.”

“How could I ever make it up to you, Jonesy?” deflected Barty with a smirk.

Marcus smiled at Barty over his shoulder. Barty did his best to return the look but inside he was very, very confused. They must have exited the common room during their trip and somehow… lost fifty house points. Fifty all at once? Or had they been accumulated? His memory was still a mess. In all honesty he didn’t care so much about that particular blank spot in his remembrance, but rather their conversation before then. Barty recalled talking about James Potter and his friends, but not much more than that. Except for that he’d been rejected. Or had he?

Barty stopped suddenly in his tracks.

“Actually no,” he told Marcus, “I have to go.”

Marcus turned around in surprise. He looked a little disappointed.

“Fucking tease,” he muttered, but Barty had already turned on his heel and began walking back to his dorm. He had to speak with Evan. Clear up whatever had really been said.

No sex. That was clear in his mind. For the first time ever in years, Barty wondered if he really needed sex. If maybe Evan Rosier would just be enough all on his own. No sex involved. He froze in his tracks again and frowned. Merlin…

He sprinted up the rest of the stairs and burst into the dorm. Evan was awake, Barty could hear him using the bathroom, and the bed was empty. Avery was unpacking his school bag for the day. Reg was reading on his bed, a very smug look on his face.

“Evening Barty,” he greeted smoothly. Barty stared at him for a second.

“Right,” he agreed, unsure what to do with himself. Reg turned a page in his book. “Um,” began Barty awkwardly, “Did me and Evs lose 50 house points today?”

Regulus looked away from his book, his face turning stern.

“If you did, I would hope that you would know,” he said carefully. He’d taken his dangerous tone of voice. Barty gulped. Reg had been the wrong person to ask.

“Right!” he laughed, shooting him a smile and going over to his trunk to find his hairpin. He couldn’t find it this time either, so he summoned it.

“What are you doing now?” asked Regulus coldly.

“Going to the bathroom,” explained Barty, rattling the lock with the pin. He finally managed to get the telltale ‘click’ when Evan threw the door open from the inside. Barty fell over backwards with a guilty look on his face.

“Ever heard of knocking?” Evan deadpanned.

“No!” exclaimed Barty indignantly.

Evan walked over to his bed and began putting stuff away. Barty pushed himself to his feet and scurried over.

“Evs did we lose fifty house points today?” he whispered into his ear. Evan froze, he hadn’t noticed Barty come up behind him.

“Yes,” he whispered back, “Don’t you remember?”

Barty shook his head honestly.

“Listen, Evs, what actually happened?”

“We were walking down a hallway, I think we were trying to find Dora for some reason, and then you ran into this professor and called him a tramp-whore. I tried to calm him down by saying really it was you who was a tramp-whore and you were only projecting, but it didn’t really help.”

“Oh,” said Barty stupidly, then he laughed at his daring.

“You really don’t remember?” asked Evan, his voice tinged with concern.

“Everything’s hazy,” he explained.

“You did have kind of a lot,” mused Evan, “I would’ve stopped you taking that third one, but I was really out of it.”

“I took three?”

“Two and a half.”

“Oh, thank merlin,” he breathed out a sigh of relief.

“That’s still a lot, Bats.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Barty waved him off, “What happened before that though? When we were lying down and talking?”

Evan was silent for a bit.

“I don’t know, you have to be more specific,” he replied, his back turned to Barty.

“Oh come on,” he urged, “You know what I’m talking about.”

More silence.

“You asked if we could have sex,” said Evan stiffly.

“And you said no.” replied Barty.

“So you remember?”

“Only bits and pieces.”

“Ok.”

“So what else did we say?” pressed Barty.

“That was it,” said Evan stubbornly. Barty frowned at him, sticking out his tongue.

“Fine,” he resigned himself, “You can tell me later.”

He began to walk back to his stuff.

“I’m not a ‘tramp-whore’!” he piped up suddenly, realising what Evan had said earlier.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he muttered. Barty flipped him off.