year four - playlist explanation
a house in nebraska by ethel cain
"your mama calls me sometimes to see if i'm doing well
and i'd lie to her and say that i'm doing fine
when, really, i'd kill myself to hold you one more time
and it hurts to miss you, but it's worse to know
that i'm the reason you won't come home"
this song makes me think of wolfstar in their years apart: remus in isolation suffering through a world that doesn't want him and sirius in azkaban regretting every mistake he'd ever made
two birds by regina spektor
"two birds of a feather
say that they're always gonna stay together
but one's never going to let go of that wire"
this song represents sirius and regulus both during regulus's first life and then when the tables turn during his second life. one of them is always tired, one of them always needs to go.
glue myself shut
"you used to be scared of the water
you're safe by the side of your father"
i know this song is supposed to be about a romantic relationship, but to me, it makes so much sense as sirius talking about regulus. really it's how he felt in canon, but we see echoes of that in the golden king.
exile (feat. bon iver) by taylor swift
"i never learned to read your mind
i couldn't turn things around
'cause you never gave a warning sign
i gave so many signs"
sirius and remus struggle to find each other, and at the same time, regulus feels exiled by james especially when he tries to destroy the locket.
happiness is a butterfly by lana del rey
"if he's a serial killer, then what's the worst
that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?
i'm already hurt"
nothing matters by the last dinner party
"and you can hold me like he held her
and i will fuck you like nothing matters"
both of these songs make me think of regulus getting involved with barty following his breakup with james and evan's death.
over and over by nelly and tim mcgraw
"'cause it's all in my head
i think about it
over and over again"
though we don't get a james pov here, i think his jealousy about regulus and barty is painfully obvious and i can't help but think of this song. chapter 41.
ghosting by mother mother
"i've been ghosting, i've been ghosting along
ghost in the world, ghost with no home"
i think this song could describe most of the main characters during this period of the fic, but it really makes me think of remus who feels as if he's been haunting his own life for more than a decade, and now feels that way in sirius's life. chapter 48.
like real people do by hozier
"i will not ask you where you came from
i will not ask you and neither would you
honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
we should just kiss like real people do"
as regulus watches harry celebrate with his friends, he can't help but think of how much like james harry is, but there is still lily. regulus wants james to be real, he wants his love for james to mean something, and he wants james all to himself. chapter 50.
paris by magic man
"it's just a fantasy, taking over like a disease
pull me out of this, i can't breathe
it's buring through my chest"
this song makes me think of james and regulus nearly co-parenting harry, especially when james asks regulus to help harry find a date to the yule ball. chapter 51.
hungarian dance no. 5 by johannes brahm
this song makes me think of the yule ball. chapter 52.
dancing with your ghost by sasha alex sloan
"never got the chance
to say a last goodbye"
i love listening to this song thinking of regulus and james dancing together after the yule ball. chapter. 52
i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys
"secrets i have held in my heart
are harder to hide than i thought
maybe i just wanna be yours"
all sirius wants is to belong to remus, but it wasn't the right time, even though remus feels the same desperation. chapter 55 especially.
changes by charles bradley and the budos band
"i'm going through changes"
i think of draco learning about the third task just to tell regulus and inadvertently help harry. he doesn't understand his crush, but it's growing nonetheless. chapter 57.
je te laisserai des mots by patrick watson
there is meaning to this song, but i listen to it and think of regulus being confronted by barty and sirius running to find his brother.
another year ends by patrick doyle
this is from the original soundtrack