Fucking Fantastic
“Hi, Mel, can I come in?” Caitlyn whispers.
Mel opens the door quickly, grabbing the large amount of bags from Caitlyn. “Come in, what’s going on?”
“What isn’t going on?” Caitlyn mumbles, stepping into Mel’s small condo. “I broke it off with Maddie and she kicked me out.”
Mel nods, setting down Caitlyn’s stuff in the doorway. “Should I make us some food and coffee?”
“Yes, thank you,” Caitlyn says. Caitlyn watches in silence as Mel makes her way around the kitchen, making small finger foods and steaming coffee.
About five minutes later, Mel sets the food and drinks down on her counter, both her and Caitlyn sitting on the barstools.
“How are you?” Mel asks quietly, peaking over the brim of her coffee cup. She takes a small sip, the steaming hot liquid burning her taste buds. She pulls back quickly, making a startled face at the sharp flavor. “Want any milk or sugar?”
Caitlyn shakes her head and takes a sip. The hot, bitter coffee coating her mouth. She doesn’t flinch. She watches as Mel moves to get some milk and sugar, pouring into her coffee. Caitlyn waits until Mel is seated once more to speak.
“I’ve been better. I feel weird, Mel.”
“How so?” she says, stirring her coffee with a small spoon.
“Well, not being engaged anymore, but that part is less so the weird part. Shit, there’s no way to say this doesn’t sound weird, but I saw Jayce the other day.”
Mel makes a startled face, her eyebrows impressively high on her face. “Caitlyn!”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“I thought you were a lesbian?” Mel says, her panicked voice raising.
For the first time in a while, Caitlyn lets a small smile break on her face. She snorts a soft laugh. “Mel, that's not what I meant.”
“Oh.”
“I guess I should’ve prefaced that better. I just meant I felt bad almost hanging out with him ‘behind your back’ because he’s your ex.”
Mel smiles and shakes her head, her gold jewelry glinting in the low kitchen light. “You two have also known each other for a while, this isn’t something you should feel embarrassed about,” she explains in a soft tone.
Caitlyn nods, her lip between her teeth.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what about?”
“After the conversation you and I had… I just wanted to seek his advice. And you see, he confronted me a bit about Vi.”
Mel hums a response, taking a bite of one of the sandwiches. She continues to chew, making no rushed effort to speak. Caitlyn continues.
“Well he asked me if I wanted to get back with Vi.”
Mel glances up from her sandwich, her expression calm, but her eyes curious. “And you said?”
“That I don’t know. The question caught me off guard and I just-”
“I don’t mean to cut you off, darling, but neither you or Vi have given yourselves the time to heal. You need that before you can even fathom getting back together.”
“I know, Jayce also said that.”
“What you did was a bit fucked up, Caitlyn, and I never want to be accusatory. However, you also never processed that with anyone.”
“I know.”
Caitlyn's eyes fall to her hands in her lap. She regrets everything she said and did to Vi… to their relationship. She doesn’t need the constant reminders from everyone how bad of a person she was at the time.
And maybe still is.
“What do I do, Mel?”
“You need to heal.”
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“What the hell, Cait!” Vi screams loudly, slamming her hands against the car’s dashboard. A crunch sounds below her fists and Vi can’t quite tell if it is something in the glove compartment or her bones.
Vi’s adrenaline is so high she can’t see anything. She can’t tell if it’s the tears or the anger blinding her, but her head is spinning and she feels dizzy trying to process what Caitlyn is saying.
“I’m sorry, Vi it’s just-”
“Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second. FUCK-” Vi screams loudly again. She presses the palms of her hands into her eyes, rubbing them. Her makeup smudges under her touch but she’s attempting to rid herself of her burning tears.
They feel like fire on her skin, an acid that is disintegrating every inch of her body the longer they stay on her face.
Caitlyn grips the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles turning white. “You know what, Violet? You’re not the only one hurt here! I fucked up and I don’t want to do this but-”
“Then don’t! It’s that easy.”
“I have to! Don’t act like I have a fucking choice.”
“You do, goddamnit. Don’t act like you don’t have a choice! I don’t even fucking understand why you-”
“Get out of my car.”
Vi’s face drops, every emotion she has been feeling immediately leaves her body. She’s pale and lifeless. “What?”
“You heard me, get out of my car.”
Vi’s blue eyes shake with the threat of more tears, but she doesn’t flinch as she unbuckles her seat belt and opens the car door. She hesitates slightly before shutting it.
Caitlyn can’t help but look anywhere but Vi. “I’m so sorry…”
“Right,” Vi snorts, the car door slamming with a sharp pound that causes Caitlyn to jump slightly. “Fucking fantastic.”