-117-
Walking along the corridors of the castle while there are students coming and going right past me after the classes are over. I try to offer a small smile anytime someone says 'hi' to me or creates eye contact. Otherwise I'm pretty much out of what's happening around me. When I come around a corner, I notice the twins standing other side of the hallway. They both are quick to see me and stop talking to just stare. Having no interest to talk or have anything to do with them, so after tightening the grip around the books and notepads I'm holding close to my chest, I decided to turn around and find another path to go to. Amycus's and Alecto's chuckles echoes around the walls after realizing I'm not going to walk past them. They really think the reason behind avoiding them is because I'd be afraid of them. Bastards. I'm only trying to do as Severus has ordered me to do; stay away from them.
After returning the books back to the library, I started to walk back to my class. There are few more essays I need to go thru before I'll..- When all of sudden, I hear this muffled call:"(Y/N)?". "Huh?" I look around, only to see no one's there. "(Y/N)!" there's that voice again. "What the..?" my head keeps turning every direction. But no one's there! What in the Merlin's name..? Then it hit me; it's the Two-way mirror inside my robe's pocket:"OH!!". I've been carrying it everywhere I go in case like these. As quickly as I can, I take it out and my eyes widens when I see him. It's Harry! "Har..-!" I stop myself in middle of the sentence and quickly whisper:"Hold on!". With that, I rush to the empty classroom of History of Magic and close the door behind. "Harry, where are you? Is everything alright?" I ask while walking deeper into the room. My hands are shaking and the feeling of nervousness raises. "Been better." he answer. Weak chuckle comes out of me:"Same here.". Glad to see him alright.
Unsure if I should sit or stand, I keep wandering around the classroom:"Are all four of you there?". "We are all here." Sirius joins with Harry to the picture. Phew. Sometimes I sit down one of the benches for a hot second, then get up again and keep on walking:"What happened to you after dealing with the dragon? Where are you now?". Sirius pretty much answers all of the questions before Harry even manages to open his mouth. We go back and forth a minute or two. Good news are; they have destroyed the Slytherin's Locket. But the bad news are; they haven't been able to destroy the Hufflepuff's Cup yet. And they are in desperate need for a place to go at the moment - specially now when it's getting dark. The idea hits me and my voice goes more low:"G-go to Hogsmeade.". "Hogsmeade?" Ron's voice comes thru the mirror. "Yes. You need to get into Hog's Head Inn. The owner of the place - he'll give you a place to stay.".
I then explained all about how the Lovegood's were there and my aunt. "Your aunt, eh? I've always liked aunts." Sirius jokes in the between our serious talk. My face turns from calculating one into judgemental one:"Sirius... Don't even start.". His chuckle comes thru the mirror:"Just teasing ya.". Lowering the mirror in my hands and roll my eyes while inhaling thru nose:"Please, Harry, put the fleabag in order since I can't. You have my full permission to smack him behind his ear when needed.". Right after that, a small, muffled sound of a smack can be heard, followed by Sirius's whining 'why did you do that for?!' to Ron. I can see how Harry glances over his shoulder and chuckles softly. A small chuckle escapes from my lips as well. Then there is this little pause. Almost like none of know what to say next. 'The boy must die?' Once again, Severus's voice echoes in my head and the grip around the mirror tightens.
Heavy feeling fills my heart while struggling how to bring out this difficult matter:"Harry...". "Yes, (Y/N)?" the boy turns back to look at me instead of his friends and godfather, who are now diven into their own conversation. Why can't I say it? "I... I happened to see one of..- Dumbledore's memories." I start with. Why does it feel so hard? The look on his face goes more serious:"And?". Just tell him!!! The feeling it's now or never comes up and I raise the courage:"It turns out, that Harry you're one of the H..-", "Headmaster wants to see you." Alecto barges in all of sudden with bored look on her face. Huh?! My head quickly lifts up to see her on the doorway. She looks a bit confused why am I sitting on one of the desks and have a mirror in my hands. "What's that?" she asks. Instinctively, I bring it closer to my chest. "It's called a mirror, Alecto. ...And by the looks of it, it's something you don't seem to own." I answer coolly, hoping she'll leave.
Alecto scoffs and walks straight up to me with stern glare. I jump down from the desk and keep the eye contact. She stops right in front of me and hisses:"You think you're better than me?". Just when I'm about to answer to that, she quickly continues:"Just because Headmaster sleeps with you, doesn't mean he actually fancies you. You hear me? You're nothing to him. Nothing!". With that, she slaps the mirror from my hand and it shattered immediately when it hits the floor. "What the..-?" I frown, mixed with confusion and anger. But I quickly stop myself. She must be just trying to annoy to gain some strong reaction out of me. So that in mind, I compose myself and just stand there with neutral look on my face:"Anything else?". Her cold eyes quickly flickers between mine before she answers:"He's mine to have.". What?
Fighting against the shocked look appearing on my face, I just keep staring at this woman in front of me. Is she being serious right now? "I've seen the way he looks at me. It's nothing like when he's staring at your dumb face." she keeps hissing. Merlin, if I just could..- Flashing her a fake smile:"I'll repeat; anything else?". Luckily, she didn't have anything else to say, and left - after slamming the door close behind, of course. Immediately, my shoulders goes down and I breath out. Phew... If she would have spend one minute longer in here... I'm not sure what I would have done. Then, I kneel down to pick up the remainings of the mirror while cursing under the breath:"For Merlin's sake...". Looking at one of the bigger pieces and try to call out:"Harry? Can you hear me? Are you there?". No answer. Damn it.
After putting the pieces into one of the drawers of my desk, I remember the reason why Alecto came in here. 'Headmaster wants to see you.' So with that, I rush towards the Headmaster's Office. Won't take more than three turns when I already spot both of the twins once again walking along the hallway I'm supposed to walk thru. Seems that they are looking if any of the students are still wandering around the castle at this hour, so they can punish them. They haven't seen me yet, so I quickly go hide behind the corner I came from. Having no time, nor any interest to have any interact with them, I try to figure out what to do here. What do I do now?How can I get past them? Then the idea hits me. It's been awhile last time I did this, but... I close my eyes and focus. Then, I disappear from the corridor and appear in the front of the statue that leads to the office. Woah..-! Almost loosing the balance when I appear, but manage to stay on my both feet.
All of that spinning somehow gave me the chills. Perhaps what happened when we came back from the Ministry still haunts me. Even Neville is fully recovered from it, the thought of getting Splinched gives me the shivers. Quickly, I shook my head and went up the spiral stairs. Having no idea why Severus asked to see me, but if I had to guess, it has something to do with what happened in the Diagon Alley. Just the thought he would punish me again like yesterday brings this redness on my face that I try to push down. To be honest, its still sore down there at times... As soon as I walk thru the doorway into the office, I see him standing there, back facing me as he's staring out of the window. "You never guess what Alecto just told me." I start with light chuckle, but immediately stop walking when I see there are bright red footsteps going on the floors - right under his long cape. What?! The sight made my heart drop when it hit me; it's blood.
The fear he's hurt raises, so I quickly rush to him:"Sev..-!!", "It's not mine." he simply answer without looking at me. Mix of relief and worry starts spinning inside me:"The..- then who..-", "Gringotts goblins's." he quickly answer with the monotonic tone. Almost like Severus is trying to keep himself together whatever he had just witnessed in case the twins would run in to the room with us any second now. Goblins blood? Severus then told me all about how the Dark Lord summoned him to the Malfoy Manor and how the workers of the bank had gathered there to tell him the bad news how Harry Potter had stolen the Hufflepuff's Cup to himself. Apparently, Voldemort got so angry he killed all of the goblins right in there. Without any remorse. Or care. Hearing all of this makes my whole body tensed up. To think he did all that out of pure anger... Right in front of Severus, Lucius, Narcissa and Draco. Voldemort is furious - so furious, and really scared too, it seems.
Don't wanna even think about how he could have just easily hurt or kill one of them in blink of an eye if any of them opened their mouths in the wrong moment. "So... He knows they are after Horcruxes." I point out. No answer. Severus keeps his gaze on the window before him. That's when I notice how his hand is trembling, even he is trying to stay calm and collected. Severus... Seeing him like this breaks my heart. Calmly, I come beside him and gently hold onto his hand:"Severus.". But he won't hold onto my hand. They are so cold. Unsure how to make the situation any better - to make him feel better, my mouth just opens:"Sev, I..-", "(Y/N)." he gently pulls away from the touch as he turns to face me. Huh?
Those black eyes are telling me how the next thing he's about to say will hurt him deeply. "It'll be for the best if you'll gather your things and leave the castle. Tonight." he says calmly. My eyes widens a bit and heart sinks somewhere in the deep. What?! I don't know what to say, so I just stare at him in disbelieve. All I know that I'm speechless. He's sending me away? All alone..? Without him? That's when my head starts shaking on its own:"No, Sev. I'm not going to..-", "There is no space for discussion in this matter, (Y/N). You and I both know the Dark Lord will eventually hunt everyone down he has laid his eyes on and kill them. One way or another. It's only matter of time when that will happen." the tone of his voice is so stern, yet behind those dark eyes peeks fear and sadness. It's like he has already made up his mind, whether I like it or not.
My head just keeps shaking:"No. There must be another way..- Just give me a minute and I'll figure someth..-", Severus walks away from the window, and my body turns to him from where I'm standing:"Sev.". He stops and by the way his wide shoulders went up and down slowly lets me know he just took a long, shuddered breath. After the small silence, he speaks with soft, yet defeated way:"It was selfish from me to think I could keep you safe as long as I'd have you as close as possible. I see it now.". What? With face of full of compassion, I walk away from the window as well and come stand in front of him:"Sev... Look at me.". He keeps his eyes on the floor, like he's afraid to face the truth. Then, with tender touch, I cup his face and lift his gaze up to me:"Look at me.". My (e/c) eyes flicker between his. I've never seen him this drained and so... Scared.
Before I can say another word, he holds onto my left wrist:"...Forgive me, (Y/N). For every pain I've costed. I'll never forgive myself what you've gone thru. Because of me. Please, forgive me.". He then leans more to the hand and places this very gentle, soft kiss on it. Severus... His words only breaks my heart more and more. It makes me feel like this is some sort of goodbye from him. Severus has now closed his eyes to keep himself in one piece. I can't believe this... This can't be real. It's clear he wants me out of the way when the war eventually breaks, and he'll haveto fight along Voldemort's side as long as its needed. This can't be happening. Everything we've gone thru so far... He's ready to throw it all away? Just like that?
It's like there is a golfball shoved into my throat. No matter how hard I try to think the right solution, I got nothing. This can't be it. It... It just can't! My hands began to shake and tears raise on my eyes. "...How dumb can you be?" I break the silence with trembling voice. Severus jerks his head out of surprise and maybe little bit offended I called him like that all of sudden. No matter how hard I try to push these tears down, they just keeps coming up:"When are you going to get it in your head? We're in this together.". His own heart breaks as well:"(Y/N)..-", "No. There is no return policy. You can't..- You can't send me and Muffin away! I won't leave without you, Severus. I'm staying!" I again shook my head and Severus has now hold onto both of my wrists and lowers them down closer to his chest.
His face has gone more stern and frowns:"You do realize you can't turn your back on the others? You need to stay loyal..-", "My loyalty lies on us, Sev." I snap back. His eyes widens for a split second, clearly surprised by my words. "If it means I need to fight on the wrong side... I'm..- I'm willing to do that." my voice breaks as the breathing gets more intense. He still tries to reason:"(Y/N)..-", "What happened to not ever letting me go? Huh?! Was that..- was that just a lie?" I try to break the touch between us, but Severus tightens the grip around my wrists, pulling me closer:"No. (Y/N), you're clearly not listening to me. I..-", "You're not listening to me!" my head sharply lifts up to him and I try to yank myself free to get away from his grasp for the last time, but for vain. In silence, we stare at each others eyes. My heart... By every beat it takes, it breaks. When did it all turn out like this? I hate this.
Just when I blink, a tear rolls down my cheek. The sight breaks his heart as well and his lips apart. When he's about to say something, we hear how someone rushes in to the office. "Headmaster!" Amycus halfly limps to the room. Both of our heads snaps right at him, little bit taken aback by this. Severus is quick to compose himself and bring up the usual cold look:"What is it this time?". Amycus doesn't seem to care of the sight of us standing this close to each other. Perhaps, in his eyes Headmaster was trying to hurt me as he's holding me by the wrists and the tears on my eyes. "Harry Potter... He's been spotted in Hogsmeade!" he pants. What?! That's when Severus releases me and him and I both take a step back away from each other. "When?" Headmaster asks with calm and collected tone. He really managed to jump back into this cold and scary persona in seconds. "Ten minutes ago?" Amycus tells.
That's when I remember how I forgot to alert Harry and the others about the Dark Wizards that has been lurking around the village every night like Aberforth told us. Shit. I then lift up my gaze back to the man next to me, wondering what will be the next move. There is a small pause before Severus speaks determinedly:"Gather all of the students and the staff in to the Great Hall. Without undue delay.". Amycus nods and leaves the room. Right away, we hear how Amycus voice echoes around as he's rushing down the spiral stairs, telling his sister to go get the students from their Common Rooms immediately. Before I can even say or do anything, Severus goes after them. "Severus, what are we going to do?" I manage to ask before he gets to the doorway. He stops, but won't turn to me. There is a squeeze in my heart as I stare at the back of his head. "What we are ordered to." he simply answer and left the office.