Chapter 3
There was nothing Regulus hated more than formal events, especially those where he was to be the main focus.
Regulus took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the night ahead. Everything would be fine as long as he stayed calm and collected. It was just one night. He hadn't had a public incident since childhood. He knew how to control himself.
But this one night was the beginning of the rest of his life, one in which he was constantly scrutinized and controlled, unable to go where he pleased or do the things he wanted.
This was the last night he owned his own body. Regulus hadn't had uncovered physical contact with another person since he was ten years old. At that point, his curse was nowhere near as strong as it was now. There was no telling what could happen when Muiber made him remove the gloves.
He doubted Muciber would accept his excuse for being a germaphobe as to why he couldn't go five minutes without his gloves. Most didn't question it. Of course, Regina Black, someone so famously discussed by all living things, would find herself above touching things with her bare hands.
A small part of him hoped that Muciber, much like his father did to his mother, would quickly lose interest in Regulus and ignore him after the high of a successful business deal that was Regulus's freedom wore off. An even smaller part of him hoped that he would lose control of his frost early in the relationship, hopefully killing Muiber slowly and painfully, leaving Regulus with his freedom back.
But he knows that his freedom would be short-lived, as he would spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, which he knows would be much, much worse than anything Muciber could do.
He knows what they do to people with curses like his. He knows that they are never seen again. They were most likely experimented so the ministry could learn how to cause it in their soldiers.
Regulus was way too deep now, especially since Sirius had left to live his best life at the Potters. Regulus had to be the one to carry on the Black family legacy, and if that meant he continued to play the part of Regina, that was just how it would be.
Oh god, Sirius. Regulus could only pray he wouldn't make an appearance tonight. Walburga would never invite him, not wanting the family to remember the disappointment that was Sirius Black. But he lived with the Potters and likely didn't want to leave James' side for even a minute. He probably wanted to go to rub in Regulus's face that this was only happening because he didn't run away with Sirius all those years ago.
Besides reuniting with Sirius, Regulus doesn't think he could face James right now either.
Oh, James, and his stupid hair, smile, and body, which Regulus wouldn't ever be able to touch. Beyond the fact that Regulus would be married soon and likely locked away somewhere Muiber would never allow him to see the sun again, James's warmth wasn't strong enough to melt Regulus's frost. He would likely die just brushing into Regulus, and James didn't deserve that. James deserves someone as happy and loving as he was.
Regulus couldn't go down this rabbit hole. Not right now. He had to get through the night before he could have a breakdown over all the other lives he could have lived.
Regulus moved to examine his appearance to ensure he wouldn't get any comments from his mother. He looked in the floor-length mirror in disgust. He looked good, beautiful even. Years of inbreeding had ensured that.
Regulus's black curls were twisted back into a low bun, leaving several pieces free to frame his face. Dark makeup was heavy around the eyes, causing the blue in them to stand out from the rest of his pale face. Regulus had long since abandoned the foundation because he hated the way it left his skin feeling. Thankfully he had never had any issue keeping clear skin so his mother shouldn't fuss much.
The dress his mother had sent him was lovely, even if he wanted to rip his skin off.
It was made with sleek black fabric, floor-length, and long sleeves. Thankfully, the high neckline hit just above Regulus's collarbones, but the back dipped all the way down to his lower back. With this cut he was able to tape his chest without it being obvious. Even though it made him flat, he had been taping since he was thirteen, so to everyone, it seemed like he had never developed much.
He honestly liked the top half of the dress; he just wished he could have been wearing pants instead. The skirt reached all the way to the floor with a slit going up his right thigh, and while it was very movable, he looked like the worse version of himself that he could imagine.
Regulus messed with the excess fabric, trying to find a way he would feel comfortable. Every way he turned, all of his feminine features seemed to be highlighted. No doubt a conscious effort on his mother's part. It wasn't an unknown fact of what came after an engagement party.
The soon-to-be bride would go home with her to-be husband, and by the time the wedding occurred in the new month, she was expected to be pregnant with a son. Not that they had any way of knowing the gender at that time, but to give anything less than a son was highly looked down upon.
Hanging over the top of the mirror were his gloves that he had worn every day for the past eight years. They didn't always work. He was honestly convinced that the times they did it was only because they were tricking his mind, not because they actually did anything to stop him from freezing everything. But even so, they helped him keep more control when he wasn't actively thinking about regulating his emotions.
He glanced over at his desk, where his brand-new jewelry box sat frozen over.
How was he going to keep this a secret from Muiciber? He wasn't even sure if one kiss would just turn him into a block of ice.
Regulus grabbed the gloves and slid them on. They weren't anything special, just short black gloves. He was thankful for the dress's long sleeves, which helped make them look less out of place.
He wondered if Sirius would recognize them as the ones he had given Regulus all those years ago or if he had pushed all memories of this house into a deep, dark place.
They hadn't spoken in months, and even then, none of it was civil.
The last time Sirius spoke to Regulus without pure disgust on his face was before Hogwarts, before James Potter.
Back when it was just the two of them trying to survive their mother.
Regulus played that last night in his head millions of times, but the conversion was short. It only lasted two minutes. But it was the last time Regulus was confident that his brother was on his side.
-
"Sirius,"
Sirius looks up from where he is attempting to adjust his dress robes to see his sister in his doorway.
"Hey Reggie, you ready?"
She hums in response and sits on his bed. Messing with the hem of her dress as she watched her brother finish getting ready.
Regina hated dressing up. She hated the tight way her mother had slicked back her white curls, hated the dress that just felt like it stifled her movement, and most of all, she hated the makeup she was forced to wear. Her skin felt thick and cakey, and she wanted nothing more than to wash it all off. Sirius was lucky; his hair was so cropped and so short that he didn't have to touch it at all, and his dress robes looked way more comforting than this dress.
Beyond this horrid outfit, she didn't know how she was going to make it through the night. The family was all so horrid and didn't hold back any of thier foul comments. Every time she met any of them, they asked why she, unlike the rest of her family, was blonde. Her parents always hated this question, saying that it was a roundabout way to call her mother unfaithful.
The cousins were the worst, though. They would start sending curses Regina's way, knowing that if she reacted at all, her mother would punish her. Regina's face must have given away her worries because Sirius noticed the second he turned from the mirror.
"Everything going to be okay, alright?" Sirius said, walking towards the bed.
"What if Bellatrix antagonizes me again, and I lose control?" Regina whispers.
Regina watches Sirius involuntarily look down at his sister's hands. It had been almost five years since that first night when Regina had frozen the dining room table. Since then, there have been several recurring instances where she has gotten upset and lost control. They both pretended not to notice how frequently it kept happening.
"Just remember to go inside your head, okay?" If you can't hear her, then you will be fine." Sirius explained, "It's the same trick I use when Mother is really mad. You can't feel what's happening if you just check out."
Regina nodded. They had talked about this before, but she could tell that Sirius really needed Reggie to understand for tonight.
"And I will be there the whole time," Sirius added, "I'll protect you from them."
He doesn't say that this is the last night he will be at home. That starting the next morning Sirius was leaving for Hogwarts and Regina would be left in the house alone. They both already know.
"Master and Misses Black," the siblings looked into the doorway to Kreacher, the house elf. "Mistress Black requests your presence in the dining room at once. The guests have arrived."
Sirius and Regina look at each other before following the house elf out the door and continuing down the stairs.
-
Regulus shook the replaying memories out of his head.
The Sirius from that night was gone. Regulus was an only child, and now it was his duty to carry on the family name.
"Miss Regina," Regulus looked over to see Kreacher in his doorway. "Mistress Black requests your presence at the top of the stairwell."
Regulus nodded in acknowledgment before turning back for one final check in the mirror, straightening his spine, and walking down the hall.
"Regina," His mother acknowledged as he walked up to her. "Everyone who is of status is here. You are to be on your best behavior."
Regulus nodded.
"I am going to send Muiber up here so you can enter the party together."
With that, Walburga headed down the stairs.
Regulus let himself for one last second, one more deep breath before the rest of his life started.
When he heard footsteps walking up the stairs, he reset his spine and put on his mask, not letting anyone see how he felt about the engagement.
"Regina, you look wonderful as ever," Muicibers mocking voice said as he came and stood before Regulus.
Regulus looked at him with as much anger as he could muster. He knew his gaze was seen as dangerous to most, but Muiber just laughed.
"You really think I'm scared?" he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I own you now. There's nothing you can do anymore."
He leaned back with a nasty smile.
Regulus wanted to argue, wanted to curse this man until he couldn't breathe his nasty breath on him ever again.
But he was smart enough to know that much like how it was with his parents, the more you fight, the more awful they will make your life.
Muiciber moved to stand next to Regulus.
"Now, let's go meet our guests," he said, holding his arm out to Regulus.
Regulus took it, fighting every urge to snap it off, before following his future husband down the stairs.
-
There was nothing Sirius hated more than packing.
He had been at it for almost an hour and still felt like he was missing so much.
The Hogwarts packing list wasn’t quite as through as he would have appreciated, so he was let to pretty much go though everything he owned in order to decide if it would be of use to him in the upcoming school year. As much as her hated this, he was thankful for the distraction that it offered him, even if just for an hour.
All he had left now was to pack up his clothes. Sirius couldn't wait until he was old enough to buy his own clothes, he was sick and tired of having to wear only what his mother bought him. While what he had was no doubt expensive, they were all ugly and not comfortable at all.
The first thing he would do when he was free to roam shops would be to buy himself the best new fits. He doubted he would have the opportunity to go get anything as a first-year student, but he had faith he would get the chance in the next couple years.
Suitcase opened on his bed, and Sirius rifled through his closet, choosing what to fold and take with him.
The number of dress robes he owned was truly ridiculous; there was nothing Sirius hated more than dress robes, mostly because no one could be taken seriously when in them but also because they looked foul.
Nonetheless, he picked up one of the more simple black ones and turned to place in his suitcase. He was surprised when a pair of eyes caught his.
Sirius continued like he hadn't seen his sister standing in his doorway.
He knew it wasn't her fault. She didn't mean to cut him. She just lost control again and had lashed out.
It didn’t make him much less bitter with there still being a fresh wound on his cheek.
Sirius could feel her eyes on him as he moved back and forth around his room packing. He had started just putting clothes on his bed to be filtered down more later.
She had just woken up by the looks of it, and if the tear tracks under her eyes were anything to go by, she had just finished crying. Her long white curls where braided back how she always kept it, and was in some shorts and one of Sirius' old t-shirts he had recently outgrown.
“Are you going to sit or just watch me?” Sirius said, breaking the silence.
Reggie moved slowly, carefully moving onto the bed and keeping her hands close.
How was Sirius supposed to go off to school and leave her here alone?
Everything she touched got destroyed, and she was no closer to being able to control it since when she was a child.
They were lucky she hadn't been caught, especially recently. Last night was an example proving that Sirius could not leave her alone. If Sirius hadn't been there to take the attention away, he could only imagine what would have happened.
It didn’t matter how young Reggie was, she would be sent to Azkaban.
Sirius had heard of it happening before, a young boy who could cause plants to grow at his will. They had arrested him because in the wizarding law they considered him too much of a potential threat that needed to be neutralized.
He was charged for life since it wasn't curable. Orion had said they most likely just had killed him upon entry, but the ministry didn't want the world to know they had executed a child.
Sirius could not let that same fate happen to his sister. Even if it meant not going to Hogwarts,
If he caused enough of a scene, he was sure that his parents would hold him back another year. Mostly likely because they think it's important that he needs to study family values.
But that would mean they would have to stop caring about how the other sacred twenty-eight would think about such a bold move like holding your child back from going after their eleventh birthday.
His thoughts were interrupted by his sister's cracking voice.
“What am I going to do, Sirius?” Reggie said.
Sirius turned to see her standing next to his bed holding a pair of, now solid ice, trousers.
He went over and cautiously took them from her.
“I needed more anyways,” He said, while attempting to shake them out.
Giving up, he tossed them on the floor and looked back at his sister.
Tears welled up in her eyes, she was shaking while looking at the pants.
“They were falling off,” she stuttered, “I didn't think and just grabbed them,”
Sirius stepped forward to embrace her, but as he came forward, she flinched back.
“No!” she yelled, starting Sirius. “I will hurt you,”
Sirius let out a strained laugh.
“No, you won't’ Reggie,”
He took another step forward, and she shuffled back, only to hit the wall behind her. A giant wall of ice erupted from behind her, coating a large portion of Sirius’s wall.
“I have no control, don't you understand?” She siad, gesturing to her pale hands, “Its not like when we were young and I could just stay calm and it was fine! Its everything I do. Everything I touch, even if just for a second.”
Tears started streaming down her face as she slid down the frozen wall. Reggie pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed.
Sirius crouched down to her level.
“It’s ok, Reggie,” He said, not believing himself, “it will be ok,”
She continued crying as if she couldn’t hear him.
Sirius looked around, searching for any solution for what to do to help him comfort his sister.
His gloves from when he was a young child, back when his mother was worried that he would ruin the grand piano with his sticky hands, caught his eye. He stood to grab them off his desk.
“Hey, hey, it's ok,” He said, approaching his sister. “Here, put these on; they will help,”
“No, they won't,” She said in between gasps of breath.
Sirius carefully moved closer before laying the gloves in front of her. They weren’t anything fancy, just thick black gloves. Hopefully, the layer of fabric would be enough to at least put a buffer between her and everything else.
“Just try,” He said, stepping back.
Tears still running down her face, Reggie reaches out to grab the gloves and slips them on.
When she first grabbed them, they had started to frost, but once she had them on, her ice didn’t seem to have much effect on them.
Sirius reached out for her to take his hand.
He tried to keep his sigh of relief quiet when he didn’t instantly freeze to death. The gloves were definitely cold, but not enough to hurt him.
Sirius looked up from their conjoined hands to meet Reggie's eyes.
“See? I told you,” He said.
Reggie basically launched herself into his arms.
It took her a a while to stop crying, Sirius didn’t care though. He didn’t know when the next time they would hug was after he got on the train in the morning.
If he could go back in time, he would have never let her go. Have just refused to go to Hogwarts the next morning, never learned how amazing life outside Grimwald place was. Never has he put such a big rift between himself and Reggie.
Because watching her come down the stairs, with her gloved hand resting in the crook of Muibers arm, made his regret every ounce of freedom he now had.
She didn’t look anything like the Reggie Sirius had seen that night seven years prior.
Blonde curls dyed black, soft features turned sharp, small, and cowardly had turned into a regalness that reminded Sirius of their Mother.
She finished her descent and was blocked from Sirius’s vision by all the other guests.
James let out an audible exhale from next to Sirius.
“They hate him,” James said, with much more confidence than Sirius would have expected even from James. “Did you see how stiff Reggie was?”
Sirius shook his head.
“It doesn’t matter either way.” He said solemnly, “Its not like she has any way to back out,”
James set his jaw and turned back to face the crowd, while Sirius tryed to ignore everything about this current situation.
The house hadn’t changed a bit since the night Sirius left.
Not that he had expected it to. The Black family wasn’t exactly known for moving with the times. They always wanted to keep it traditional.
The dark wallpaper, floor length curtains that don’t allow any light in, paintings of family members that eyes seems to follow everyone with disapproval. Those had been the staples of his childhood that he had been so happy to replace with the warmth the Potters house gave.
They had only been in the house for two minutes before the whispers started spreading and growing in volume. Sirius kept his gaze forward, looking at all the well-dressed guests that he could tell were shocked by his presence. Sirius didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of looking even mildly uncomfortable in the house.
He could feel James periodically glancing over at him in between, not so subtly scanning the room for Reggie.
Sirius hadn’t seen his parents yet, mildly surprised they hadn’t had him escorted out the second they learned he was there.
“Why Siri! I didn’t think you would have the guts to show up today.”
Sirius took a deep breath before turning around to face the owner of those words.
“Bellatrix,” he says.
She laughed. Sirius had always hated her laugh, thinking it made her sound absolutely insane.
“Here to see your favorite baby sister one last time?” She said, smiling, knowing that she was going to get under his skin. “I’ve got to say, your parents really picked well for her. Muiciber is truly a wonderful young man.”
“Please, we both know this is purely a business transaction,” James snapped from next to Sirius.
Bellatrix turned her gaze from Sirius to James.
“Well I knew I would get a rise out of my dear cousin here, but I didn’t think you would care at all,” She squinted just slightly at him, keeping her smile at full. “James right?”
“No,” He spat out bitterly.
“James, Sirius”
They both look over to Flemont and Effie joining them again, having instantly gone to say hello to an old friend upon walking in the door.
Bellatrix lets out another one of her laughs.
“I’ll see you later, little cousin and James,”
Sirius let the air out of his lungs. As far as family reunions go, that went way better than he expected.
But he and Bella never had active issues like he had with his mother.
“I really hate her,” James said bitterly.
“James,” Effie scolded, but it didn’t have any bite to it.
She then turned to Sirius.
“Regina is in the dining room with her fiance if you want a chance to speak with her.”
Sirius nodded, trying to seem non-chalant. He had no idea what would happen when they interacted, what he could say to her in a time like this.
He wasn’t as naive as James. There was no doubt in his mind that she was marrying this man to help the family and that any stiffness James thought he saw was just her hatred of public appearances.
James put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a little nod.
Sirius took a deep inhale, mentally preparing for the conversation that was about to ensue, before walking in the direction Effie had said.