The Beginning
Severus was outcast from day one. Misfortune seemed to envelop him, repelling others who preferred to stay away. Almost nobody bothered to approach him, and Severus was fine with it.
His blood was deemed impure, yet he found himself surrounded by the elitist Slytherins. Worse still, the infamous Gryffindor pranksters, the Marauders, had made him their favorite target. He was plagued with constant stray spells and outstretched legs that tripped him.
Throughout everything, Severus always bit his tongue. He never retaliated, and took everything like a rag doll. The Severus Snape from the novels was feisty and ill tempered, which never led to anything good.
Severus thought this was fine. He could take a few hits and spits. It wasn't so bad; even the perpetrators quickly grew bored of provoking him. It wasn’t like he desired any companionship either.
Many onlookers glanced at Severus with pity, but never intervened. They were under the impression that someone else might help, or that the pranks were harmless. He never uttered any words for help, or looked helpless. There was no point in extending a helping hand somewhere it would be unwanted.
In this lonely atmosphere, the only people he found that talked to him were the other outcasts, in particular, Looney- ahem , Lovegood.
“Why do you let them treat you that way?” Lovegood asked. “If I were you, I would’ve made them all toad stew by now. Hmph.”
Severus didn’t look up from the book he was reading, keeping quiet as if he didn’t hear what Lovegood said. This was a normal occurrence, where Lovegood would constantly pester him.
Despite always lingering by Severus who was tormented by everyone, Lovegood didn’t receive any backlash from it. Not only was Lovegood a lunatic, he was more cunning than a Slytherin. Even the Marauders were scared of his wrath.
During the earlier school days, the Marauders had attempted to involve Lovegood with a prank. They placed rat droppings on his books, which enraged him. He immediately set out to find them, and hexed them until they couldn’t even remember a thing.
Rumor even had it that he fed them the rat droppings they left on his beloved books, forcing them to swallow them in one gulp. Allegedly, Pettigrew was so scared that he ended up pissing his pants.
After that incident, people knew better than to mess with Lovegood.
Lovegood was way out of everyone’s league when it came to magic. His intelligence surpassed the other first years. Even some Slytherins eyed his overwhelming talent, wanting to recruit him to their forces.
Lovegood didn’t bat an eye to anyone. He remained indifferent, ignoring others who approached him, calling them unworthy of him. The only person that was an exception was Severus.
For some reason, Lovegood followed Severus like a lost puppy.
“Talking to you is just like talking to myself,” Lovegood remarked mindlessly as Severus read his books. “I’m quite used to it though.”
“…”
There was silence that followed. They were in the Library, which was a quiet place.
“It’s always been a breeze for me to read through people. There’s something you’re hiding, right?”
Although Severus was taken aback, there was no change in his expression. He looked up from his book, and was met with frosty blue eyes.
“You’ve finally looked up. So I suppose I’m right,” Lovegood gleefully exclaimed.
“Whether I’m hiding something or not, it shouldn’t matter to you.” Severus glanced back down to his book. He had been researching potions, which he found himself infatuated with. He would have finished the book by now, if Lovegood wasn’t intent on clinging to him all the time.
The only reason why he hadn’t chased off Lovegood yet, was because Lovegood’s presence chased away a lot of annoyances. The Marauders and Slytherins didn’t bother him whenever Lovegood was around. Severus suspected that Lovegood portrayed his competence on purpose so Severus would have a reason to keep him around.
“Now, come on Sevy,” Lovegood pouted. “You can’t keep all the good things to yourself!”
Severus’ eye twitched. “Please don’t call me that again.”
“If you keep being so boring I will. Sevy Sevy Sevy Sevy-”
“I’m not hiding anything.”
“That’s a bit hard to believe. I can tell you’re a very capable person, yet you act like a dead dog when you’re kicked.”
“Dead dog?” Severus narrowed his eyes.
“I said that you act like a dead dog,” Lovegood said, emphasizing the last two words. “You don’t even try to fight back. You look seriously pathetic. I wonder where Severus is, the one that had a gleam of hope and fury in his eyes when he was presented with the chance of revenge…”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Lovegood raised a brow. “You were the one who flipped their boats with wandless magic. Wandless magic. Something even I can’t do at my age.”
Severus didn’t say anything. There was no good in either denying or acknowledging it. Denying it would mean nothing because Lovegood was certain Severus flipped over the boat. Acknowledging would just fuel Lovegood even further.
“I reckon you are more than capable of handling the Marauders in a four versus one. So why don’t you?”
Severus’ eyes hardened. Lovegood was too smart, and that wasn’t a good thing for Severus.
Even so, Lovegood had no solid proof or idea why Severus acted the way he did. It didn’t help Lovegood’s case that everyone in Hogwarts believed he was crazy, so no one would believe him anyways.
“I’m just a first year student, there’s nothing I can do by myself. I’m flattered you overestimated my abilities, but I’m sorry to disappoint you, so don’t expect anything from me.”
Severus swiftly gathered all his books. “I’m leaving. It’s almost dinnertime.”
Lovegood looked confused. “Hm? But you always skip dinner, and go to the kitchen after for food.”
Severus grimaced. Of course Lovegood knew his schedule.
“Well I’m just in the mood to go to dinner today. If you really know me, you’d know if I was feeling hungry.”
Severus left the library, feeling disoriented and lost in his thoughts.
Although he couldn’t bring himself to like Lovegood, it wasn’t like he hated him. As much as he disliked admitting it, Lovegood's observations had been right on the mark.
It was hard to ignore the way Lovegood clung onto him, as if waiting for something in return, his motives always slightly veiled.
Lovegood was captivated by Severus' talent, but it was clear he placed little value on who Severus was as a person. He seemed more interested in what Severus could do than who he was, as if his worth lay solely in his abilities. It felt like Lovegood had expectations- expectations that weighed heavily on Severus, who knew that the moment he fell short, Lovegood would lose interest.
It was not worth destroying the fortress he already built to protect himself, from both the plot and others. Severus would rather live like a pebble on the ground, not a shining star that shines brilliantly. The higher one rises, the bigger the fall.
Severus turned sharply around the corner and collided with someone hard. The books he was carrying tumbled to the floor, sprawling across the ground. Panic seized him as he hurried to gather them, his hands trembling as he dusted off the debris. He couldn’t afford to replace these precious books if they were damaged.
“Not even a sorry?”
Severus froze, looking up into a pair of striking green eyes. His stomach sank- he had stupidly bumped into Lily Evans, the very person he had been trying so hard to avoid.
“Sorry,” Severus mumbled under his breath as he hurriedly picked up his last book.
Another voiced chimed in.
“Always so clumsy, Snivellus.”
Severus's fingers tightened around the last book as his heart pounded in his chest. Shame and frustration surged inside him, the echo of that cruel nickname ringing in his ears like a twisted melody. He kept his gaze low, avoiding both Lily’s concerned green eyes and Potter’s smug, triumphant grin.
“Potter,” Severus muttered, trying to suppress the tremor of anger in his voice. Clutching the books to his chest as if they could protect him, he resisted the urge to reach for his wand, knowing it would only make things worse.
“Need a hand?” Potter asked, his voice dripping with mock concern.
Potter stepped forward, and Severus instinctively flinched, shrinking back.
“Relax,” Potter laughed, the sound sharp and cold. “I’m not going to eat you.”
Severus wasn’t so sure. Every encounter with James Potter felt like facing a ravenous predator—one who wouldn’t stop until he had torn Severus to pieces. Potter’s satisfaction came from watching him squirm, from feeding on his discomfort.
“Here, take your book,” Potter offered, holding out the last one with exaggerated politeness.
Severus hesitated before reaching for it, already sensing the trap. As his hand extended, Potter’s smirk widened.
“Oops,” Potter said, his voice full of fake surprise, as he dropped the book deliberately. The heavy thud echoed down the empty corridor.
Severus didn’t react. He stood still, not giving Potter the satisfaction of seeing him flinch or scowl. He had long learned that showing emotion only fueled the bully’s cruelty.
“POTTER!” Lily’s voice cut through the tension, sharp with anger. “Apologize. Now.”
Potter let out a short laugh. “Relax, Evans, it was just an accident.”
Lily shot him a glare that could have melted ice. Without another word, she bent down to pick up the book, her movements swift but precise.
Before her fingers could close around it, Potter flicked his wand.
“Accio book,” he said casually.
The book flew into his hand, slipping from Lily’s grasp at the last moment.
“James,” Lily warned, her voice now low and serious.
“Evans, you’re going to be late for your meeting with McGonagall if you keep hanging around here,” Potter said with a wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort it out with Sniv—Severus.”
Lily gave him a skeptical look, her eyes flicking between them. “Apologize to him, James. Now.”
“I will, I will,” Potter said with a grin that promised nothing. “Go on, you’ll miss your meeting.”
Lily glanced at her watch, her eyes widening in panic. She looked at Severus, her face softening with apology. “I’m really sorry. I’ll talk to him later, okay?”
Severus couldn’t find his voice to respond, so he just nodded. Her pity stung almost as much as Potter’s mockery.
She turned to leave, throwing one last warning glance at Potter. “Behave, or I’ll hear about it.”
Potter gave her his most charming smile as she hurried off, and once her footsteps faded, his expression turned cold. Now, it was just Severus and his tormentor in the deserted hallway.
“Want your book back?” Potter asked, his voice full of false politeness.
“…Yes,” Severus muttered.
“Say please.”
“Please.”
“In a full sentence.”
Severus gritted his teeth. “May I please have my book back?”
Potter’s grin widened as though savoring his power. “Hmm… How about… no.”
With a sudden, savage motion, Potter tore the book in half, the pages splitting with a sickening rip.
“Oops,” Potter said again, his tone dripping with mockery. He tossed the torn halves onto the floor and ground his heel into them. “I’m just so clumsy.”
Severus stood frozen, staring down at the ruined book. A faint tremble ran through his body, but his face remained emotionless. He couldn’t afford to show any more weakness.
“Well, I’m off,” Potter said casually, as if nothing had happened. He shouldered past Severus, shoving him against the wall before strolling away without a backward glance.
Severus exhaled, his hands trembling as he knelt to gather the ruined pages. “Reparo,” he whispered to himself, though he wasn’t sure if the spell would be enough to fix the damage Potter had done.
The pieces of the book were still salvageable, at least. It could be fixed.
But as he stared at the torn pages, Lovegood’s words crept back into his mind, unbidden.
“You act like a dead dog. You don’t even fight back.”
Severus froze. A dead dog. That’s what he had become—silent, submissive, hoping that by not reacting, by staying still, the beatings would stop. But they never did. No matter how much he kept his head down, Potter still came after him, still found a way to hurt him.
What was the point?
For a moment, a surge of anger flared in his chest. Was acting like this really protecting him? All these times he was forced to swallow his pride, of staying quiet, of letting them trample over him—had any of it actually helped? The fire Potter stoked never burned out; it only grew.
The weight of that truth hit him hard, suffocating the spark of defiance before it could even fully catch. The facts aligned, and Severus could no longer deny it.
This was his fate, his life. He was bound to it. Bound to Potter. Bound to Lily. Bound to a future of misery he couldn’t escape, no matter how hard he tried.
Tears blurred his vision as the helplessness closed in around him. He lowered his head, letting his dark hair fall like a curtain over his face, concealing his shame.
“Fuck this,” Severus muttered bitterly. His hands shook as he gathered the remnants of the book and fled down the hallway, leaving behind the torn fragments of his dignity—if there was any left to begin with.
He didn’t cry because he was sad or angry anymore. His tears were simply the cold, bitter acceptance that his life was sealed in fate’s cruel hands. No matter how much he wished otherwise, he was bound to a future of shadows.
Destiny was cruel to him, and he needed to accept it.