James POV
James loved Regulus more than he had ever loved anyone else, but dating him was really weird. He just seemed very grateful for everything. Which wasn't necessarily bad just strange and not exactly Regulus-like. This was his first relationship so Regulus probably didn't know what was supposed to happen but every time James told him that he loved him Regulus got this weird look on his face. If he didn't know any better James would say it was doubt. But they had been together for about two years now and he didn't think he had given him any reason to doubt the fact the James was in love with him.
James was pretty sure he had been a good boyfriend for the past two years. Granted the last relationship he was in involved James not noticing that his wife just wasn’t in love with him. But Regulus and his relationship was nothing like Lily's and his.
For one thing, he didn't think he had actually ever loved Lily. He didn't think he actually even knew what love was until he started going out with Regulus.
His phone began to ring and he picked it up without checking the caller ID, "Potter." He answered.
"James?" He heard a voice that he hadn't heard in years.
"...Lily." He replied, debating hanging up the phone. It had taken a lot of time to get over his marriage, not necessarily over Lily, but the fact that he got married to someone and it burst into flames.
"Yeah, hi," She replied nervously.
"Why are you calling me?" He asked probably rudely. James guessed that he still resented wasting six years.
"I- um. I know it's been a long time and the last time we talked we were mediated and getting a divorce, and you probably aren’t my biggest fan." She said.
"I’m not." He confirmed.
"So that's what I am calling about." She said.
"The fact that I’m not your biggest fan?" He asked confused.
"Yes." She said.
"I'm going to need a little bit more explanation here Lily." James sighed.
"Well, okay. You see. I'm in therapy." She said.
"You're in therapy.." He said slowly. That really didn't sound like Lily.
“Yeah, I- um- got together with Mary right after we got divorced, but I kept getting convinced that I didn’t really feel the way I felt about her. I was in love with her but I kept on telling myself I wasn’t. Even worse, I never could believe that she was in love with me, or would stay in love with me. So she dumped me, which completely destroyed me because it turns out, I am actually in love with her.” Lily rambled.
“What do you want me to say to that?” James asked.
“Just- listen. So when I realized that I was in love with Mary, I tried to get her to take me back, but then she told me I had some pretty severe issues and was not ready to get into a relationship. She said if I went to therapy consistently for six months she would think about taking me back. So I went to therapy and my therapist said that I had an issue communicating my feelings with people. He recommended I talk to you about how our relationship went to actually get some clarity.” Lily finally finished.
"So you want to talk about our relationship?" He asked.
"Yes." She answered.
"Four years later?" He asked.
“Please, James?" She asked a bit frustrated. “I understand it was bad for you too but I think it would help us both to talk about it. I can go first, I’ll say what I feel and if you don’t want to you don’t have to say anything back just- listen okay?”
"Fine- go ahead,” He said.
"Okay, here we go. When we met, I thought you were the perfect person. You were handsome, smart, kind, funny, and just imperfect enough so that you seemed real. I saw you and I thought that there wouldn’t be another man better than you." She paused.
“This is very flattering but what is the point of this,” James responded.
“Shut up- anyway I thought you were the ideal man. So I decided that we should be together. I think that I didn’t understand what a relationship was supposed to be. You weren’t supposed to pick the best person, you were supposed to pick the person who made you feel the best. The person who gives you heart palpitations and makes you sweat. I didn’t know that when we got married. Right after we got married, I wanted to start having kids, I had always wanted to be a mother so I started reading a bunch of books on it because I like to be prepared for things. So I was reading this one book and it had this quote, ‘a couple should decide to have a child together when the two of them can no longer contain the love they had for each other.’ I knew that was the sort of family I wanted to start, but it just wasn’t what I felt for you. I kept on putting off agreeing to have kids until I felt like that. Then when you started to spend all your time at the hospital, I started to spend more time with Mary and I realized that was what I felt for her. I felt that my body just couldn’t contain the love I felt for her. That’s my side of what happened. I don’t know if that helps at all. I also wanted to say that I’m sorry, I’m sorry for messing up both of our lives.”
Guilt seeped through his body, "I forgive you." He said quickly into the phone.
"What?" She breathed.
"I forgive you. Or- there is nothing to forgive. You were trying your best, if anything I’m the one who needs to be forgiven." James said.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“Do you- er- want to hear my side?” James asked.
“Yes-” She said quickly. “I think that would help me.”
“I met Regulus when I was six years old. He was the most important person in my life for so long, but our lives never worked out so that we were ready to date each other. I thought at one people that we were going to happen, but he had said that he didn’t like me like that, so I decided to move on. Then I met you, who I genuinely liked. You were perfect, just like you said. I think at that point I had given up on the great love story, and you were wonderful. I thought- I thought you loved me and I would do my best to love you. I guess I failed at that. My parents had the perfect love story and the perfect marriage and I wanted that so bad. I should have known that settling for someone even though I was madly in love with someone else was wrong. I’m so sorry that I dragged you into that mess.” James explained.
"I forgive you too. We had some good times too, right?" She asked. “I think we would have made great friends.”
"Yeah, me too." He smiled.
"And, I know it's none of my business but are you with Regulus now?" She asked.
"For two years now." He grinned.
"Good. That's good. I'm happy for you." She said.
"Thanks. And I'm happy for you with the therapy thing." He said. "T've never imagined you going to therapy." He laughed.
"Yeah, me neither. It's good though." She replied.
"Good. Great." He said.
"Great. Okay, I should probably go." Lily said.
"Bye Lily," He said.
"Bye James. And thank you for forgiving me. You didn't actually have to do that. I actually wasn't expecting you to do that." She said.
"You're welcome. Thanks for forgiving me too." He laughed as he hung up the phone and walked into the living room where Regulus was sitting on the couch.
"Who was that." He asked casually as James sat down next to him and quickly kissed him.
"Lily." He smiled.
"What?" Regulus said wide-eyed.
"I was on the phone with Lily." He laughed.
"Oh- um. What did- are you?" Regulus stammered.
"Am I what?" He asked confused.
"Well she was your wife and I know we are together but she was your wife who you planned on being with forever and you were on the phone with her and now you're all smiley so I wouldn't blame you-" he rambled.
"I'm confused." He said. He honestly had no idea what Regulus was talking about.
"If you are going back to her it's okay. It's what you want. I won't hold it against you or whatever." Regulus choked out.
"What?" He asked with horror. Regulus honestly thought he wanted to get back together with Lily. How? How could she think that?
"She's your wife." He whispered.
"Regulus. Do you- Do you think I'm still in love with Lily?" He breathed. He couldn't believe they were even having this conversation.
"You said- there was an alter and you said you would love her forever," Regulus said looking down. James immediately took him in his arms and hugged Regulus tightly. He had no idea how he had been such a bad boyfriend that Regulus honestly thought he was still in love with his ex-wife.
"I didn't even know what love was until we started." He whispered into Regulus’ hair.
"That's not- you married her." He stammered.
"I shouldn't have married her. I'm baffled how I could have married someone while you were there. It was idiotic. I love you, and only you. And I think I've loved you since I was in high school." He said.
"Oh." He said as James felt Regulus’ arms tighten around him.
"I only started dating her because you said we didn't feel that way about each other that one Thanksgiving," James explained
"I only said that because that's what I thought you felt. I had a plan since high school to get you to settle for me by chasing away your partners." Regulus said.
"Oh," He laughed. "I am so far from settling for you. You are the love of my life." He said. It was the first time he had actually told Regulus that but from now on he was planning on saying it every day.
"Really? Even though I'm a mess and will probably be a horrible parent and I drank a lot and slept with a lot of boys?" He asked.
"You said 'will',” James said with wide eyes.
"What?" Regulus asked.
"You said, will probably be a horrible parent. As in you are planning on being a parent?"
"I- yea, you want kids." He said. “I thought- at least.”
"I know, but you want them too?" James said with a small smile.
"I- I want your kids." He said quietly.
James pulled him even closer which he had thought was impossible a few seconds ago. "You are going to be the best father." He breathed. "The love of my life wants my kids." His head was spinning.
"I- you're mine too," Regulus said quietly.
"Our kids will be so cute." He said.
"I hope you realize that biologically, we can’t actually make children together,” Regulus said.
"Yes, I know that," He laughed finally letting him go.
"I love you." Regulus smiled.
"I love you too. Forever." He said, and for the first time that look of doubt Regulus usually had when he told him he loved him was gone. Regulus believed him.
"Forever." Regulus grinned.