that funny feeling

Pansy, Theodore and Blaise were driving themselves insane since Draco's sudden, but not so surprising, disappearance. 

The trio had been inseparable since they were children, and the blond’s absence left a gaping hole in their lives. They knew he was not safe at home, though unaware of the full extent. Still, they couldn’t be more happy to hear that Draco’s abusers got arrested. Yet, the unknown of his future was equally terrifying. 

At school, they found it nearly impossible to focus. 

Pansy would often zone out during lectures, her mind consumed with endless "what ifs" and thoughts of how she should have protected Draco better, how she could have murdered Lucius when she had the chance. It was also equally easy to spot Theo constantly distracted, doodling aimless sketches in the margins of his notebooks instead of taking notes, even if it could earn him the wrath of his own angry father. Blaise tried his best to remain the calm, collected one of the group, but his friends could see the worry etched into the lines of his face. 

During breaks between classes, the three of them would huddle together, talking in hushed, frantic tones.  

"Bloody hell, we have to do something,” Pansy insisted that one day as they sat at the lake, her eyes brimming with tears. "I can't just sit here while Draco is God knows where, suffering!” 

Blaise sighed heavily, "I know, Pans, I fucking know. But what can we do?” he said, the three of them equally exhausted. He ran his thumb over Theo’s knuckles, their hands intervined. 

Pansy huffed. “I hope Lucius doesn’t rot in that prison just so I can fucking beat him, and make sure that fucking bastard feels exactly how he made Draco feel,” she mumbled, her heart aching with hatred towards Lucius Malfoy, the man who had no right to call himself the father of her best friend. 

“He’s alright,” Theodore said quietly, squeezing Blaise’s hand softly. “He must be.” 

But they each knew the situation was not as simple as they wished it was, and later deeply regretted not speaking up to Lupin, even though Blaise had practically begged Pansy to let them ask for help. But they couldn't, and it's not like he could have intervened, anyway.

They had even gone so far as to approach Snape before, because the man just needed to know what was happening to his own godson, for fucks sake. However, this only earned them the threat of detention and being kicked out of his classroom.

Nothing else worked - not even the influence of their own parents, which was simply unbearable. As children who had grown accustomed to getting whatever they wanted, the adults' indifference to their pleas was deeply confusing. Pansy recounted how her own father had shamed her for merely wanting to know if her best friend was safe, punishing her with a lengthy grounding and forbidding her from mentioning the Malfoy family in their household again. It was peculiar, considering the men apparently had profitable business dealings together during those shadowy nights. But surely her own father couldn't be involved in those shady affairs as well, right?

It wasn’t only the three of them touched by the situation, though. In the hallways of their school, they would often catch pitying glances from their classmates, who had heard the rumors about Draco's family situation ( or sarcastic snarls and devious smirks, but they just weren’t exacly liked among other students, okay? ).  

During their lunch breaks, they would sometimes join Crabbe and Goyle, occasionally in addition with Astoria or Daphne. They still talked occasionally, despite growing apart over the years. Still, Draco was their friend; plus his situation threw a whole different light at their own home lifes. 

They wanted to believe that Their Ice Prince, the nickname more teasing than anything, would be back soon safe and sound, though the wavering conviction in their voices told a different story.  

As the days turned into weeks, with no word from Draco, the group's anxiety only continued to grow. Pansy would often lash out, frequently checking the news or texting him, hoping that at least one of her messages would reach him.  

Theodore didn’t know what to do with himself, every day only more and more afraid for the blond’s whereabouts. Their knowledge ended on a hospital somewhere. That did little to comfort him. 

And Blaise... Blaise would lie awake at night, staring up at the ceiling, praying for any sign that his best friend was still out there, still alive. Everything was so exhausting, especially practice; he couldn’t just avoid football, though, even if it wasn’t the same without Draco for years, anyway. 

That Monday, he found it nearly impossible to focus during practice. His gaze constantly drifted towards the bleachers where his friends sat, as they always did, but with one notable absence - Draco. The two seemed engrossed in their phones, occasionally glancing up at Blaise with evident concern.

The teenager’s irritation only grew as he was paired with Weasley for warm-ups. To make matters worse, Potter, exercising next to them, managed to hit Blaise with his and his partner’s ball at least three times. The coach was on his case the entire time, and the weather outside was just so awfully hot, that the only thing Blaise wished for was to fuck it all and run away somewhere, like him and his friends planned since they were kids. 

But he knew they couldn’t, and that he needed to stay strong, for the sake of Theo and Pansy not dying out of worry, even if it was eating him up, too. 

At some point, around halfway through the grueling practice, Blaise even managed to remember which way he was supposed to jog after passing the ball to the teammate in front of him. Probably.

"What's got you so distracted, Zabini?" Coach Hooch called out, blowing her whistle. "Focus on the ball!" 

Blaise mumbled an apology and tried to push his friends out of his thoughts, but it was no use. Every few minutes, his eyes would dart over to the bleachers, where Pansy and Theo seemed to be getting more and more worked up about something. 

Suddenly, Pansy let out a high-pitched squeal, causing several of the other players to stumble in surprise. Theo was gaping at her, almost bouncing in his seat, his eyesjumping from her phone screen to his. 

"What is going on over there?" Coach Hooch demanded, storming over to the bleachers. 

Blaise tried to hear what was going on, but unfortunately could only imagine what it was about and feel bad for them, till one of his teammates pushed him forward. Great, he has lost the ball again.

Their drills continued, till Coach Hooch came back onto the pitch, her expression softening ever so slightly. “Zabini, a word, if you please,” she said, and Blaise could feel Potter’s death stare on himself. 

He hurried over to the woman, his heart pounding. "Yes, Coach?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. 

Without wasting any more time, the woman waved at him and left towards the place where she sent Theo and Pansy off too, Blaise following after her with a worried expression. 

There, his friends were waiting, their faces alight with excitement. A sight not so often visible those days. 

Blaise looked from them back to Coach Hooch, confused, to which the woman gently urged him to make a move. 

"What's going on?" He asked breathlessly, his eyes darting between Pansy and Theo again. 

The girl grinned, actually smiled, overjoyed, even if her eyes seemed glossy. She basically pushed her phone into his face, “Draco!” 

And Blaise’s breath caught in his throat, as he looked the given message over. 

“ I’m alive, you idiots, don’t worry “  

That sounded so much like his best friend, and even if confusion clouded his mind, Blaise also felt a weight being lifted off his shoudlers. 

His mouth hung agap, as he took her phone from her, “Ah,” he said softly. 

"AH? BLAISE, HE’S FUCKING ALIVE! AND FINE, AT THAT," Pansy exclaimed, with Theo bringing his arms around her shoulders.

"Probably fine," he added quietly, his face buried in Pansy's shoulder. She rolled her eyes.

"Probably— he must be,” she asserted.

"…You think so?"

"Obviously? He wouldn't be texting us otherwise,"

Theodore shrugged, his chuckle muffled and tinged with evident relief. "I guess," he mumbled, the words catching in his throat.

"OH—, oh my god, don't cry," Pansy cooed, gently pressing her head against his as Theo lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes.

"M’not," he said softly, turning his head away to hide his emotions and focus his gaze on Blaise instead.

Blaise stood with his mouth agape, re-reading the text message over and over, processing the news.

“Hey,” he stammered, “You called him already?”

Pansy spluttered. 

“That was an accident.” 

“You did it twice.” 

“ACCIDENT.” 

“Why can’t he talk now?” Blaise frowned, handing the phone back to her. His previous excitement was dimmed by the two messages from Draco that followed almost immediately. “ Can’t speak now “ and “ don’t call “ couldn’t mean anything good. 

“I-, we don’t know,” Pansy said in a hurry, looking over the texts again. “But-, at least he’s alive, right?” Upon hearing Theo sniffle again, she took out a pack of tissues from her pocket and handed them to him. 

Blaise opened his mouth to answer, but was interupted. 

"Well, what are you three waiting for, then?" a voice suddenly interjected, causing the trio to turn back towards Coach Hooch. 

The woman stood there, her arms crossed over her chest, but the corners of hermouth were turned up in a rare smile. "Zabini, go get your bottle and get out of here," she said, her tone surprisingly gentle. "Practice is finished for you today,” 

The boy nodded quickly. “Y-yes Coach,” he stammered, before turning around and skimming back to the field to collect his belongings. Meanwhile, the woman turnedback to the other two. 

“I expect you to stay safe and contact an trusted adult as soon as you’re aware of Mr. Malfoy’s whereabouts, is that understood?” she asked, her tone firm yet not unkind. “Not wandering anywhere on your own.” 

Theo and Pansy nodded meekly. “Yes ma’am.” they answered in unison. 

Blaise returned, they said their goodbyes to the Coach, then hurried to the locker room.

Once inside, Pansy sat on one of the benches; she didn't mind that it belonged to the boys, although she wrinkled her nose at the faint smell of sweat. Meanwhile, Theo began pacing nervously around the small space. Blaise approached his sports bag, taking out his clothes in a hurry. 

Pansy looked up at him from her phone, “Don’t fucking get dressed.” she hissed, yet the worry was still cleary evident in her tone. 

Blaise groaned, shuffling off his football shoes. “It’s not going to change anything right now.” He remarked, because indeed, they had no more information from Draco that may have helped them. 

Pansy’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah, okay, you stink,” 

Blaise huffed, rolled his eyes, tugging down his sports shorts. “Rude,” 

"Oh quit your whining and just get dressed," she snapped.  

Before he got the chance to answer he swayed, almost tripping over his pants as he tried to put on the correct legs.  

Theo paced back and forth, his hands trembling. 

“Guys,” he started, his voice barely above a whisper. “What if—“

Pansy shot him a stern look. 

"Don't you dare start with the 'what ifs’," she said firmly. "He probably- just got out of the hospital. You know what they said about his wounds,” she said, wincing at her own words. 

Theo took a seat next to her, his eyes glued to his phone, waiting for any sign of a new message from Draco. Pansy pursed her lips and leaned her head on his shoulder, her eyes traveling after Blaise. 

The dark skinned boy continued to frantically rummage through his bag, desperatelytrying to gather all his belongings. "Where the hell is my other shoe?" he muttered, tossing aside his gym towel in frustration. 

When he finally found it, he bent down to put them on, but his fingers were shaking somuch that he couldn't get the laces tied. 

"Bloody hell," he growled, frustration evident in his voice. 

Pansy let out an exasperated sigh and knelt down, swatting his hands away. 

"Move over, you useless oaf," she muttered, quickly tying his laces. "We don't have time for this." 

Blaise thanked her quietly and turned to look for his shirt, while Theodore spoke upagain. 

"But what if he's not okay? He just said that he’s alive, not alright, per se.” 

Blaise paused momentarily, his arm stuck in the sleeve of his shirt. "Don't be ridiculous. He said not to worry, and we need to trust him." 

Pansy scoffed, her face contorted in a scowl. "Trust him? That git has a habit of trying to handle everything on his own. I swear, when I get my hands on him, I'm going to throttle him for worrying us like this." 

Theo winced at Pansy's words, his hands shaking slightly.  

"Don’t you think we should have told someone sooner? About, what was going on,” he whispered. 

They all went quiet, Pansy straightening and Blaise pausing in his frantic search. 

Tense silence enveloped the room. 

“There’s no point in dwelling about it now,” Blaise finally spoke up softly.  

Theo looked as if he was on the verge of tears once more. Blaise sighed softly and plopped down on the side of him that wasn't already occupied by Pansy.

Though, the same thoughts were running through all of their heads.

Pansy finally opened her mouth, about to speak up, when the sudden sound of a notification and all of their phones buzzing in unison abruptly silenced her.

They glanced at each other, and Pansy quickly turned on her phone, nearly dropping it in the process.

"Guys, GUYS." Pansy exclaimed, urgency evident in her voice. "Okay, its- it’s him," She brought her phone close to her face, the screen illuminating her expression.

Blaise leaned in to get a better look. "Okay, what did he say?" he asked.

Theo leaned back with a small squeak, allowing his friends to discuss the matter over him.

"He-he says he’s fine and- fucking safe!” Pansy answered, her relief palpable. But then her tone shifted, morphing into anger. "Bloody hell, I’m going to murder that bastard,”

Blaise reacted quickly, practically snatching the phone from her hand. "Oh, hell no—“

“Hey!” Pansy huffed, tugging it back. 

“Don’t write that, you idiot!”  

“I need to give him a piece of my mind, how dare he just leave us like that? I was worried sick, and that twat deserves to know and feel bad about it!” 

“It wasn’t entirely his fault now though, was it? Pans—!”

Theo sat squezed between them.

“G-guys—“ he started quietly. 

“You tosser! Give it back,” 

“You said it yourself, he probably just got out of the hospital! How exaclty did youexpect him to answer?” 

“Guys—“

“WELL, I-I don’t know! But he scared me again, " can’t call “ doesn’t mean anything good, ever, and you know that!” 

“Okay, but don’t blame him—, girl are you crying?” 

“NO.” she turned her head away. 

Blaise shifted back, allowing Theo to finally catch his breath. He then took a few deep breaths himself, steadying his nerves.

"He's alright," he said, speaking more gently. As the most responsible among them, he knew he needed to be the calm voice in this moment. "He's safe now, and that's what matters. We can't panic - we'll find out more in a moment."

Pansy sniffled in response, already dabbing at her tear-stained cheeks, muttering about her makeup running down. Blaise let out a small huff before turning to their other friend.

"Sorry. What did you want to say?" he asked, reaching out to give Theo's hand a reassuring squeeze, seeing the misery etched on his face.

Theo gulped audibly. "He wrote something more..." he began, but Pansy had already retrieved her phone, determined to uncover whatever additional information Draco had conveyed.

Dray❤❤❤ 

- I couldn’t contact you sooner 

GET OUT 

- we were sow orried 

- idiot 

- you fucking idiot 

- are you really oaky 

- Draco 

Pansy looked away and the three of them awaited the blond’s answer anxiously. 

Dray❤❤❤ 

- Yes 

- I guess 

- Maybe except for the fact that everything hurts like hell  

- But other than that im fine, really 

Blaise huffed out a laugh, running a hand down his face. “That twat.”

Pansy smiled, finding an ocassion to tease. 

GET OUT 

- Blaise almosy died of worry

- don’t you dare di something like that ever agaun 

A moment longer passed. 

Dray❤❤❤ 

- I’m sorry 

The three of them melted instantly, a chorus of sighs and groans escaping them. Blaise retrieved his own phone, deciding to take charge of the situation.

cutie pie princess🎀✨🦢 

- Draco 

- Are you safe rn??? 

- That cant call text was 

- Worrisome 

A moment. 

Dray❤❤❤ 

- I meant it 

- I literally cannot speak 

Pansy and Theo looked concerned, while Blaise clicked his tongue.

"He's probably gone nonverbal again," he murmured.

Sometimes, Draco would get overwhelmed and spiral; the panic attacks ( even if he would never call them that ) often led to him not speaking, refusing to be touched by anyone for hours, rocking and tapping and shaking. Or sometimes, he'd squeak instead of answering a direct question he didn’t know the answer to and, as if his mind simply gone blank, he would flush and whimper instead. That was something that Theo did too, though, so they were accustomed to it by now.

Blaise could only hope that it was indeed the latter scenario, which, as difficult as it was, was still better than Draco being alone and completely shut down.

Dray❤❤❤ 

- Other than that 

- I’m managing 

- I just got out of the hospital 

- Yesterday 

Pansy gritted her teeth and Theo leaned his head on her shoulder. 

GET OUT 

- are you alright????? 

- nothing happened to that pretty head of yours i hope 

Blaise let out a snort, and Theo just rolled his eyes. But, oh god, how they had missed it.

Dray❤❤❤ 

- I dont remember 

- My arm is broken 

GET OUT 

- at least youre not dead🥰🥰🥰 

Theo playfully swatted her arm, to which the girl just shrugged. But Blaise frowned.

cutie pie princess🎀✨🦢 

- Where are you 

- ? 

No answer, and dread filled them again. 

Dray❤❤❤ 

- With a family member 

That was odd because they all knew Draco didn't have many family members who weren't corrupt criminals or already dead.

GET OUT 

- whERe 

- YOURE STILL IN TOWN I HOPE???? 

Dray❤❤❤ 

- I am 

GET OUT 

- GOOD 

- can we 

- can we come see you???? 

- Draco  

- darling

- where are yoy 

"Pans," Blaise began and the girl squeaked.

"What?" she mumbled. "I want to see him!"

"You sound like a creep," Theo commented, earning himself a quick pointed glance.

Once more, they were left with no response.

Draco looked up from his phone and glanced at Lupin, but quickly averted his gaze once more.

He knew the polite thing to do would be to wait patiently for a good moment to inject with a simple, gentle and calm “excuse me, may I interrupt?” as he had learned to do at the various balls and meetings held at the manor.

However, he couldn't speak, making direct eye contact to get attention was also something he had problems with, Father wasn’t able to get rid of that habit of his; all Draco could manage was to look somewhere around the other person's chin, maybe forehead, but he didn’t want to stare at Lupin like a weirdo. 

The man was still pretty much engrossed in his book; even if fairly close to the end, Draco still wasn't sure if he would be able to wait that long.

“Do you need anything?” ah, he must have had caught up on on his own. 

Remus closed his book and gave Draco his full attention, yet his presence remained gentle. Draco didn't feel interrogated, but with only the two of them, the situation still felt a bit awkward.

Sure, he was known among his peers for his sharp tongue and tendency to constantly talk or, rather yap, as his friends would often sigh in exasperation. Though that was simply because he genuinely didn’t know when to hold his mouth shut, blurting out the first thing that came to his mind. Now, no matter how much he may have wanted to, he couldn’t, and it felt profoundly abnormal for him.

He nodded hesitantly, then quickly moved to his notes app to write down his question.

As he wrote, he kept glancing up to ensure Lupin was still paying attention without appearing irritated by the time it was taking. Fortunately, the professor seemed patient and genuinely curious.

Finally, Draco handed the phone to Lupin, while moving to finally open the fruit pouch to occupy himself with.

Remus hummed at the message “ Sir, may I please have your permission to go out and meet up with my friends for an outing? They have asked me to see them. “

The oh so polite way Draco had written tugged at his heartstrings. Remus handed the phone back to the blond, smiling softly, albeit a tad sadly.

"Of course. Though, I must say I wouldn't mind if they visited us, simply regarding your health. Would that be okay, or do you need me to drive you somewhere?" he asked calmly, and the blond was surprised by how easily he agreed.

The answer from his shaky hands came fast.

“ Of course, sir. It's up to you, whatever is most convenient for you to arrange. “

It wasn’t often that Remus could expect such manners from his students, most of them even lacked to answer to a simple good morning. Draco was…. Surely a very polite young man.

"Just tell me the day, okay? We don't have anything else planned this week," Remus said. The blond quickly nodded, texting his friends again. "And, please, you don't need to call me 'sir'. Just 'Remus' is fine, or 'Lupin' if you prefer. I don't want you to feel obligated to refer to me, or Sirius for that matter, so formally, since this is your home now too."

He smiled, and Draco blinked but eventually nodded, his expression sheepish.

Pansy, Theo, and Blaise waited anxiously, even though Blaise was certain his friends were about to crawl out of their skins from worry. Even if he felt just as restless himself.

"Do you think he doesn't want to see us?" Theodore asked quietly, his hand reaching to find Blaise's once more.

"Pansy scared him off," the dark skinned boy muttered, tangling their fingers together.

"Oh, I did not,” the girl huffed. "Or at least I hope so..."

They waited, and waited, till finally the answer came. 

Dray❤❤❤ 

- When? 

The trio basically jumped up from their seats, anticipation palpable.

"Today?" Pansy asked, her excitement at peak.

"No-, not today. I can't," Theodore muttered immediately. "I need to be back right after practice ends."

"Right," the girl muttered, her enthusiasm slightly dimming. She hummed contemplatively. "Tomorrow, then?"

"You may go without me," the boy added quickly.

Pansy and Blaise exchanged a look, internally fighting with themselves.

"...Go make sure he's really okay?" Pansy spoke up quietly, the concern evident in her voice.

Another text message interrupted them, cutting off their conversation.

Dray❤❤❤ 

- Is tommorow after school okay? 

Draco wasn't sure if he was quite prepared to confront them just yet, even though he missed them equally. Plus, he doubted Theo would be available that day, anyway. And, he also didn't want to put Lupin on the spot immediately, even if the man seemed willing to invite them without a second thought.

cutie pie princess🎀✨🦢 

- Yeah mate 

- We'll be there 

- Just 

- The address? 

- How far is it 

Another moment of silence passed, and the three friends already anticipated the possibility of a trip to the other side of the world. Yet, they were ready and much willing to chase after Draco wherever he might be.

Dray❤❤❤ 

- Its Grimmauld Place 12 

Before Pansy had the chance to respond or check where the place was located, Blaise stopped her with a frown. 

“Isn’t that where Potter lives?” 

...