Christmas Gifts
Dear Mary,
Petunia I went into town today, and it was a very enriching experience. Honestly, we’re so cooped up and shut out in the country that coming into town quite feels like what bloody aliens would experience if they ever come to earth. Funnily enough, I think Petunia rather dreads the experience more than I do, because she isn’t nearly socialized enough. Now there’s only dreadful English Vernon Dursley coming to call for her. It’s like once a girl is old enough to have suitors and boyfriends and whatnot the whole concept of friends or an outside social life goes off the rails. I swear to God I’ll never do that to you. Anyways, the town was terrific! We did loads of shopping. It made me imagine how much London would blow my head off, all the hustle and bustle and consumerism.
You’re going to have to be my very trustworthy guide when I visit!
(P.S. Once again, Vernon strikes the chord for my man related frustrations.)
(P.P.S. You must think me to be crazy.)
Satisfied and socialized,
Lily Evans
---
Dear Lily,
With the utmost respect, I can’t imagine a single thing that would make someone enjoy living in the country. For that reason, I most certainly think you to be a little crazy, as people being around twenty-four seven on the trot is one of the main things that keeps me sane and happy. I certainly hope Petunia isn’t entering a marriage of convenience with this guy out of pure fear for the outside world. In all of your letters I’ve grown quite fond of her, at least in the way that hearing about all of your annoyances is so much fun I hope it never ends. She is most certainly, however, not the model for how I or anyone else in the entirety of the world lives or should live their life. I most certainly will not be cutting off you and Marlene for a walrus shaped man like Vernon.
In London, I will guide you to much more beautiful people!
(P.S. He’s an easy and enjoyable target.)
(P.P.S. If you’re crazy, I’m batshit, dear.)
Yours in socialized solidarity,
Mary Macdonald
Chapter 19
Leading up to the Yuletide, Mary felt a surprising sense of calm fall over the student body. Earlier in the week, McGonagall took the name of every student who would be remaining at Hogwarts, and Mary was pleased that she was not one of them. In their little group it was only Remus and Sirius, both of whom would’ve had a place at the Potters anyway if they chose to accept it.
Marlene and Mary were in the midst of their very peaceful Divination midterms (Lily refused to take such a class), two days before they were all set to go home. They continuously fell asleep at rotating intervals while attempting to read each other's energies, or something like that. Professor Breckenwald was a floaty, long haired hippy who seemed quite bad at his job, which Marlene and Mary absolutely adored. It was the perfect class to goof off in, or take naps. Even better, they got to pretend that they could see the future.
“So what I’m getting right now,” Marlene mumbled, her eyes slow blinking from the weight of the heady incense, “is some vague energy of like, sadness?”
“Interesting,” Mary nonchalantly remarked.
“Are you sad, Macdonald? Did I finally divine something!”
“I’ve got very bad news for you!” Mary giggled back, finally coming to and realizing what bit she was partaking in. “I’m right as rain, my friend. Glad that term is over and happy to go home.”
“Bollocks, this is shite,” Marlene cursed, making Professor Breckenwald lazily make a telling off motion that game out looking cartoonish in nature.
“Let me do you, wait. I’m feeling the spirits.” They’d learned all about these little divination type gods or fairies or something that would give someone the one time ability to read the future and other people’s energies and what not, and from then on they’d obsessively joked about the so-called spirits. It was probably the biggest farce in all of magic, which thrilled them greatly.
“I’m seeing a boy in your future,” she waved her hands around Marlene’s vicinity with her eyes closed and heard her indignant little harrumphs.
“No boys! Nothing of the sort! I’m focusing on my Quidditch only, so I’m pretty sure your spirits must be off.”
“Damn it all to hell, I suppose you’re right,” Mary agreed. “So no boy?” She intended to figure these things out before break sent them all apart, and thus let everything stew in her head.
Marlene slowly turned to look out the window at the snow drifting down through the sky. They hadn’t been able to run for weeks because of all the weather, and there was serious discussion between muggle born students wondering how the hell they were going to get from Kings Cross to whatever part of the country they were really from. Still, she doubted that was on her friend's mind. Marlene’s mother would simply come to side-along apparate her home. Besides, most people were overly worried about the snow. Mary planned to emerge from Kings Cross and follow the sounds of reggae all the way back to the Loughborough Estates of Brixton, or simply hang on the Victoria Line if it was too cold to walk.
As she thought about all the possible reasons Marlene could be possessed enough to stare ramblin out the window, she came up with absolutely nothing besides the fact that divination spirits had possibly truly beset her, which was odd, astounding, and entirely impossible.
“Come on, I have to know if my prediction is truly incorrect or not!” she prodded further, and was met with a little grunt.
“No boy, Mary. Sorry to disappoint.”
“No, no! No disappointment at all, I was only trying to score myself,” she smiled. She didn’t care in the slightest whether Marlene ever had a boyfriend or not. She only wished to take stock of the situation. “And I’m going to put that one down as a slight insight.” She remarked, and they continued on with grading each other.
***
The next day, Mary and all of her friends gathered for one last celebratory dinner, a little Christmas tradition because they never got to celebrate together. Sirius slipped her a little parcel under the table and grinned with a raised eyebrow.
“Happy Christmas, eh?” He kissed her cheek and she rolled her eyes. They were finally good at this.
“Thank you, love. You know I didn’t get you anything, right.”
He nodded easily, “Of course, this just spoke to me too much to let it go.”
She gently unwrapped the paper to reveal one of those old-timey cigarette holders, a pretty golden thing set with lightly engraved decorations.
“This is too kind,” she told him, not knowing what she would ever use such a fine thing for.
“It was my great Aunt Polaris’. She was a terrible old bat.”
“Oh?”
“See, the thing burns the longer you smoke to remind young ladies that their puffs can’t be too long!” he was already dissolving into maniacal giggles.
“Jesus Christ, Black-”
“You see why I thought of you!”
“Oh you prick, of course I do.”
He laughed even harder, and she kissed him right then and there, smack in the middle of the Gryffindor table. The lad deserved it, goddamnit. He was just about the sweetest boyfriend she’d ever had, in a dickish and unreal way.
The grand theme really was that after what had happened at the party, she and Sirius fell into a comfortable lull that involved a great absence of touching in private. They threw out the old make out sessions and switched to public displays of affection, which suited them both much better. Even more so, they operated with a better level of understanding, more like real partners than any of the other couples who were supposedly “going steady.”
Lily and James, who were currently sitting a polite distance apart and loudly talking to the surrounding people, were a different story. Lily never asked her about the night after they’d left each other, but Mary herself had nearly walked in on the two of them getting up to whatever it was, and she’d heard major horror stories from Marlene. Each vulgar anecdote was another dash of self-hatred into Mary’s head.
Mary and Lily still did their regular things, of course. They never had the mind to stop, and harbored no discussions about ever cutting it out.
Because of all this, she was excited to leave Hogwarts, which she didn’t often say. This whole dinner thing was just about an ode to St. Nick as it was a celebration of the fact that she got a two week break from the things currently driving her crazy. The idea of coming home to her sisters seemed absolutely glorious to her. She couldn’t wait to see how they were doing, to get real eyes on the fact that they were going to be okay. Though she didn’t relish the idea of seeing her mother again, Hogwarts was too much, and London had boys that were easier for her to deal with. She could get it done there, she was sure, and have good things to come back and tell Lily.
The night dragged on pleasantly. They ate themselves into a little bit of a stupor, Mary attempting to enjoy all the Hogwarts food she could while she was still able. She wondered what they would have for Christmas supper, and found herself very unable to remember the last time that it had been good. Probably, she would scrounge up the pounds to take her sisters to the chippy and bring back her mother something that was already cold.
She had presents for all of them packed in her trunk upstairs. A book on the history of England for Susan, a magical record player with one whole record for Jane, and stink bombs for Josephine. So good, dinner was almost over. It was almost time to go home.
They began to clear out around eight-thirty, the boys going first with Marlene, leaving Mary and Lily to walk back on their own.
Setting off across the cobblestones, they made their way upstairs, talking in a way that came very naturally to them.
“Are you going to miss Sirius over holiday?” Lily asked her pointedly as they started up the main stairs.
“I suppose, a little,” Mary danced around the question. She sucked on the back of her sugar quill, and frowned.
“You know I’m going to miss James.” They hopped a trick step in tandem.
“Of course, dear.”
“So you’ll miss Sirius like that? The same way I miss James.” Jesus, but Lily was a persistent girl. Mary wanted to kiss her and swallow all those words. She always wanted to kiss her, and felt half sick over the fact.
“No,” she finally admitted. “I’m not going to miss him like that.”
“Oh,” Lily mumbled.
“Exactly.”
“I thought you would’ve done it by now.”
“It’s not like I want to,” Mary looked her dead in the eye, but the contact didn’t hold. Lily looked into the fire.
“Ah, I understand. I think I feel-”
Mary could already see the agreement in her eyes. “I know, dear.”
“Holiday will be good for us, don’t you think?” They needed badly to spend time apart, before things managed to get too far away from them.
Not that she wanted that in the least, “Will you write to me?”
“Every single day.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
They went quiet. They knew that this was when the night should dwindle, but they could not bear for that to be true.
“I got you a present, you know,” Mary said.
“Oh no, you shouldn’t waste your-”
“It’s not a waste,” she smiled, “I wanted to, and besides, the gift has a little bit of self interest.”
“Well then why don’t we go back to the dormitory and get them? We can have a proper exchange!”
“Sounds lovely,” Mary agreed.
As they made their way to the Fat Lady, coming up on her and then through her, she began to panic that Lily would hate her gift: the stationary with the flowers and the pen that matched. She’d seen it months ago, way back in the dead heat of summer when they’d started this all. Through the window of a shop, she’d seen it and known that it was Lily. Now, after everything had happened, she was afraid the reminder of something simpler would be more somber than beautiful.
Surreptitiously, she snatched up the present from under her mattress and found a little bag to stuff it into, watching as Lily did the same next to her bed. Per usual, Marlene was nowhere to be found, but that was only barely on the edge of her mind.
“Astronomy tower?” Mary whispered through the silent air. She didn’t want to break the aura of whatever was happening. She intended to hold onto it all break long.
“Sounds perfect,” Lily concurred, and that was that.
Even though it was late, the castle still had some energy to it. While they silently walked up to the astronomy tower they passed several other people doing something similar to them, spending all the time they had before they’d be separated. Mary waved at a couple people she knew, all while Lily trailed next to her, always only a moment away from holding her hand.
By the time they came to the base of the stairs the wanderers had disappeared. It was only them trailing up the spiral steps, and only them when they emerged out into the open room.
The stars at Hogwarts were more beautiful than anywhere Mary had ever been before. City lights washed everything out in London, creating a night sky dotted with man-made scenery, and she’d never really been to the countryside. There was never anyone to take her. Besides, the city was a world of its own. She didn’t need to venture out from its walls, and especially not when there was this view to look forward to. Sprawling out in front of them, the Forbidden Forest was yawning to life in the dusk and Lily was finally taking her hand, leading her out to the snow dusted telescopes.
Mary tamped down a spot in the show for Lily to conjure up her signature fire. It was an advanced bit of magic, one that never failed to impress. She watched as flames danced to life in emerald green eyes and smiled breathlessly.
Finally, it was warm enough to linger a bit. They dusted off spots to lean against the rampart and held their parcels in front of themselves, unsure.
“Do you want to go first, or should I?” Mary asked. She didn’t mind either way, but the waiting was nearly bringing about her early demise.
“You, please,” Lily mumbled. She looked like Sirius would say she needed a cigarette.
She handed over the bag and smiled sheepishly, “I found it in the summer,” she explained. “It was perfect back then.”
Lily slowly unpacked the bag, taking out the pen, then the stationary itself. She held each item in her hand, bestowing upon them her fullest gaze. Mary could tell that it was her happy smile, her real one.
“It’s still perfect,” Lily told her, and kissed her hard.
Mary stepped back breathlessly. “I’m glad I could do you justice.”
“Now I’m afraid I’ve gone and screwed the pooch on you,” Mary laughed a little. She was talking like an old lady, falling back on years of dead nervous habits.
“There’s no way you could screw the pooch. I’m not sure that’s even like, a possible thing to do.” She shrugged a little and laughed even harder.
“Well keep that in mind then, won’t you?”
“Obviously!” Mary accepted, wanting badly to see what her present was.
“I bought it over the summer too, isn’t that silly? Somehow, I knew that I’d need it for you.”
From the depths of a little gift bag, Mary took out a tiny velvet box. She looked up at Lily, who was pretending to be more preoccupied with the sky than with her opening up. It looked like a ring box, like she’d switched up a future meant for James Potter and accidentally dropped it into Mary’s lap.
“Is this-”
“A ring, yes.”
“Oh? Are you telling me something dear?”
“No, no! It’s a claddagh ring, see?”
Mary opened the box, and indeed saw. They weren’t common, necessarily, but prevalent enough that Mary had seen them before. She nearly could’ve cried, had she been softer and better and nicer. The ring was beautiful, a dull gold in the non-existent life. It was delicate in her hand.
“Lily, it’s gorgeous,” she said breathlessly, still running it through her hands.
“Let me put it on for you, here,” Lily took the ring from her and delicately held her right hand. “See, it goes on your right if you’re not married or engaged. If you’re with someone, it faces inwards, because your heart is already captured. If you’re single, it faces outward, as your heart is open to love.”
While Mary watched in awe, Lily slid the ring onto her finger, the heart facing towards Mary’s wrist.
“For Sirius, right?” she joked.
“Sure,” Lily laughed bravely looking her dead in the eye, “clearly for Sirius.”
Burying themselves in the snow, Mary tackled Lily into a freezing kiss that thawed quicker than imaginable. She was overwhelmed with the feeling of a ring on her finger, the feeling of knowing who had given her this heart and who would always own it. At that moment, she shuddered at the thought of the break. She felt sick at the idea that they could go however long without seeing each other. That time they needed so badly apart before all hell ran away was a blanket solution, a bucket for the whole goddamn ocean. It was already too far away from them, tumbling out of their hands and rampaging through the castle and surely about to burn down everything.
They kissed until they caught half their death, and went back inside to fall asleep together, only warm in a bed that they could share.