The Halloween Party
Dear Mary,
Have I ever told you about my parents before? I was thinking about things we could talk about, revolving around the topic of things that are scary, and all I could come up with was them! Parents might be the most terrifying thing, after all. So why don’t we start here? My father fought in the second world war, took a hit to the leg, and went to medical school afterwards to make up for the fact he couldn’t do anything manually. My mother is a little younger than him, and a nurse, though she doesn’t work in that anymore. It’s odd how being a veteran and being kind and being a doctor can make you a saint, and it’s odd how none of that makes you a perfect parent.
Much to be unpacked in more letters! Telling you more feels like lifting a weight off of everything, practically off of the world.
(P.S. More than anything, I love to hear about you.)
(P.P.S. That feels like something else entirely, like something even more.)
Listening always,
Lily Evans
---
Dear Lily,
My parents don’t sound nearly as interesting as yours are, really!! I’m not sure if you know this, because I don’t really talk about it much, but my dad isn’t in my life so much anymore. He left when I was younger, and my sisters aren’t his, so I don’t try to know his life. My mother works at a restaurant in management. Her parents were from Jamaica and the Caribbean, so she likes all that stuff. Church is a big part of her life, and the things she does outside of her job and other things. There’s not much to go off of really.
I truly can’t wait to hear more about you, dear.
(P.S. Your life carries intrigue to the nines!)
(P.S.S. Like a detective novel all on its own.)
Carrying no familial history,
Mary Macdonald
Chapter 14
Mary did not understand why parties always seemed to fall on the days she least wanted them to. The morning of Halloween she finally received an owl back from London, looking a good bit more old and disheveled than it had when it left. Immediately, she felt a familiar shaky feeling in her stomach. A letter from home never meant anything good.
Thinking only of how she’d have to pull it together in around twelve hours time, she quickly opened the note and scanned it to completion.
Mary,
Send more money as soon as you can. The girls miss you. Hope school is fine.
- Ma
In the faint morning light, the pink color echoed in the tall vaulted ceilings of the Great Hall, she pushed back tears. Mary hadn’t cried in front of another soul for a long time. There were a handful of times with the triplets, maybe, or when someone would catch her slipping, but those moments were few and far between. She didn’t even like to cry alone, really. It felt pointless, like admitting something everyone already knew. The world could be sad, her life could be sad. There was no reason to produce even more evidence, welling up salty drops of water for proof.
She folded the note into her pocket, and resolved not to look at it until she had more money. Halloween, and the celebrations (excuses to get pissed) had driven up sales quite a bit. She had the idea that cash would make her mother care. Maybe, she would get home to the first thank you of her life, with a good hug to follow. It was a nice dream, either way.
Lily watched carefully as she stared into her eggs. For only a moment, Mary looked up and their eyes met. They nearly shattered off of each other, each laying a striking blow. She looked back down, and proceeded to start up a conversation about their outfits for the night.
“I wish we could just throw on a costume,” Lily explained with only a little bit of trepidation, “like, why do wizards have to be so above everything?” She sounded the same as she did before anything had happened to them. Nearly, she was glad they never could go back to that, not since the letters. She felt that this was much more what she deserved. The halfway meeting of looks and basic words exchanged with painful heat were much more her speed.
“Very, very true! Though costumes can be finicky,” Mary agreed, shrugging her shoulders.
“Sure, too hard to pick one that looks hot, ay?”
“Exactly, skirts are reliable to make my ass look terrific,” she smiled and bit at her lip nervously. Lily laughed a little.
“You have a good way of putting things, did you know that?” They were both blushing slightly, both giggling in mild or concerning amounts, all things they aren’t supposed to do.
“Why, thank you dear!” She grinned and could not look away from Lily’s own smile. “All for you.”
“You’re too kind,” Lily sparred back at her. She wasn’t too kind, only too good at this.
“Shall we?” Mary said, trying to hide the fact that she was blushing, or turning some color that faces weren’t supposed to. She gestured to the door with a little nod.
“We shall.” They had potions to tackle, and lessons to look forward to the whole day long, taught in the classroom and much, much later, in the common room, raucous night falling onto a gathered student body.
***
With memories of Rat Spleen Mixture in her mind, Mary took a shot of the spiked punch Sirius had been mixing up all evening long. The two liquids had a scary resemblance to each other, brought on by the cartoon red color and the chunks (that were thankfully only ice in the punches case) that floated in each concoction.
Sirius had been very excited about it for the whole night, rubbing his hands together as he added more juice and more vodka. Mary had hung happily on his arm, giving pointers when necessary. He’d never made a muggle alcoholic drink, and had very bare experience with even partying wizard style, so she was the real brains behind the operation. They looked adorable from the outside, bickering and laughing in equal measure.
Besides their drinking endeavors, it was a whole group affair to get the rest of the common room ready. Lily and Remus decorated the fire while James and Remus tossed a miniature Quaffle (she’d just learned what all the balls were called) between each other, not being particularly helpful. Marlene was off spreading select invitations to other houses. Gryffindor parties were important affairs, and the Halloween party did not come near the bottom in terms of its prestige, at least in Mary’s self-identified immature view of things. That meant that someone personable needed to make sure all the right people showed, and Marlene was the perfect girl for that job. She held the right amount of cool edge without being awfully unapproachable. When it came time for party-planning, this was the only no-brainer.
“Do you ever feel the pressure when this happens, or something weird like that?” She turned slightly to Sirius, watching Lily out of the corner of her eye. There was anxiety rolling around in the pit of her stomach at the idea that the whole house was going to show up for a party that was all their idea. More than punishment, she feared being rejected.
“A little, maybe?” He humored her kindly, dutifully brushing his thumb against the back of her hand as he reached for one final stir of the ladle.
“Don’t worry love, you don’t have to lie,” she teased with a smile. “I think I might be crazy.”
Sirius was quick to correct her. Whatever kind of relationship they really had, it was built on the fact that Sirius was always quick to defend her, even against herself, and even when she didn’t deserve it. Just the other day Marlene had joked something about Mary’s wand movements in Charms and he’d practically withered her with a stare. Simply put, the boy had spunk.
“Heavens no! Parties just don’t make me stressed like that. Getting in trouble, or having people hate it, would almost be like an achievement or something.”
“So you’re a privileged swot then, is what you’re saying?” She joked, elbowing him.
“Exactly,” he agreed, and for one solid moment, swept her in for a kiss.
The gathering crowd spread across the room whooped. Mary couldn’t tell whether they were drunk, about to be, or simply hyped up at the idea that they were going to have so much fun tonight. She decided though, that they were simply too beautiful to look away.
Delicately, she pulled back with a smile, “This is good.”
They looked right at each other and understood.
“Stunningly true,” Sirius agreed. He smiled too, smiled and nodded and kissed her again, but lighter this time.
Mary, for once, felt good about this forsaken party. She had one thing taken care of and could go on to the next, the more important things. Lily still hadn’t been the same since the letter from London had arrived, though Mary refused to admit that she knew exactly why. They’d been doing what they usually did, or what had become more usual in recent times. They’d been getting everything out of their systems and still, when silence fell between them it felt like absolute dynamite. Tonight, she could fix all that. She needed them to get to a point where they could cleave these feelings from their hearts and turn around and talk about something, anything, that didn’t feel like pulling teeth.
As night slowly fell, Mary drank drink after drink. It seemed like the right thing to do, for some reason, though she knew in the back of her mind that probably wasn’t true.
For a good bit of everything, she was somewhat alone. People came up to her to grab the cigarettes, as she was the only one slick enough to actually pull off the trade on her own. Sirius and Remus gallivanted with James and Peter in the middle of a frenzied swarm, not a care in the world. Lily was there, as she always seemed to be these days, like a tertiary character hastily written into a play starring the boys. She thought, good on Marlene for being nowhere to be found. If only she could be so lucky.
So she got drunker, and more angry. Lily’s eyes got greener, her hair falling in shinier and shinier waves down her back. The need to talk to her became pressing, and then explosive, but she didn’t move, as it was too stupidly obvious what Lily was mad about. She was in no position to call a truce now, so she only watched.
Still, the need to talk to her did nothing but burn. It boiled and screamed like a kettle that was flowing over, but she did not move.
By around 10 o’clock, things had gotten bad. Lily had made out with James at least five times, like she knew it was some kind of payback for the fact that Mary had been keeping her mouth shut since she got the letter. In her mind, that crossed some sort of mythic boundary they’d set up. Mary and Lily weren’t supposed to know that they made each other jealous.
She made herself as beautiful as possible, posing on Sirius’s arm and downing even more drinks to produce even more girlish giggles from her mouth. Mary was already a massive ride. It was only a matter of pressing Lily’s buttons.
And press she did, she pressed and preened until Lily was strutting over to her, James Potter abandoned in his own lively corner with the other boys.
“It feels stupid that we’re not talking, doesn’t it?” she murmured into Mary’s waiting ear.
“Sure as hell does,” Mary agreed.
“So owe me this, then.” She linked their fingers and they slunk closer together, in the corner, in the dark. It was only a matter of time before they would be upstairs, either in the hall or in their bedroom or somewhere in between places.
“Of course, dear.”
It felt like they were taking to the sky, though they were only taking to an alcove on the stairwell, the one place where they could sit next to a window and still be close to each other. Really, she did owe Lily this. In some way, they would always owe each other this beautiful form of blackmail.
She criss-crossed their legs together and made sure that they could see the stars before either of them made the first move. It was important that something was beautiful about this interaction, because she didn’t know where it was going to end up.
“I miss the summer,” Lily said. “Then, I could hear from you without being completely unable to tell what’s true and what’s not.”
“Ha!” Mary couldn’t help but giggle a little bit. She had a nice way of hitting the nail right on the head.
“It’s true.” They exchanged happy elbows, happy little digs into each other.
“I know it is,” Mary agreed, despite herself. Those green eyes could pull just about any confession out of her, even when she tried to fight it. “You’re always right.”
“Now that makes me want to do something foolish.” There was a good amount of blush splashed across Lily’s face, which made her want to do something too, though she would’ve used a harsher word than simply foolish.
Whatever, they were always going to do it anyway. Lily kissed her harder than she thought possible, like she’d been missing it even though the last time it’d happened was days. She reached to thread her hands through soft hair, to pull closer. Lily did the same, though she was careful not to mess up all the work Mary had put into her appearance. She was kind like that. Kind, and smart, and better than anyone else.
Lily pulled back to look at her, “Talk to me, please.”
A kiss still on her lips, the stars reflecting off of her eyes, that was all Mary could think to do. Their lips touching had made her realize that for once, she was being a fool. Telling Lily would make everything better. That was her big solution, just waiting to gently present itself.
Then, stunningly, she talked. She told Lily absolutely everything, about her sisters, about her mother. She told her the good, the bad, and the most awful things she’d ever seen. There was no way for anyone to be ready for that, but Lily took it spectacularly. London had never felt so close as she asked question after beautiful question.
It made her feel like one day, maybe they could visit together. Mary could show her the happy things. They would get coffee and walk through the good parts of town before coming back to Brixton for the night. They would take one final turn around the neighborhood to grab food from the chippy, saying goodnight to the town. Then, they could retire together, talking until it put them both into dreams. A sleepover that might never end.
Mary liked the idea of that, maybe more than she should’ve. She was drunk and giddy at it all spilling out, so she kissed Lily again. The party went on below, where both of their boyfriends remained, but neither of them thought about going back now. In their minds, they’d done their time. Instead, they stayed and watched the night, though mostly, they only stayed to watch each other.
It wasn’t a solution to any of her problems, but it was damn near as good.