If we had 5 more minutes. Would you panic and hide or run for your life or stand here and spend it with me?.
-
Being told you have 1 hour to live makes the world seem to slow. You know you don’t have the time to stop but you do. You stop to stare at the terrified twelve year olds who never got to experience their life. You stop to stare at the old women and men who are finally acknowledging that death is coming to them. You stare at the boy with the messy hair and jagged scar who just sits in the great hall and lets a single tear fall down his cheek.
You try to remember why you ever thought you were on different sides of the fight to them, when in the end death comes for everyone no matter what. You try to remember every smiling face that you've seen and your head starts to hurt. You try to remember why you never made up with him. Why you never apologised.
You watch the people run around. Watch them try to find a loophole in this whole thing. Watch them cling to their loved ones like their true love may save the world. You watch them hope for a better ending but you know they will all be dead before the clock hits midnight. The candles floating in the great hall flicker. This castle will be gone soon.
Who will mourn the dead when everyone is dead?
Draco Malfoy watches the scenes unfold before him with a feeling of regret. He knows it is stupid to wish for more time when he is already wasting the precious minutes he has but he cannot stop himself. His fingers clasp together under the table as he watches, through the crowd of moving bodies, Harry Potter wipe a single tear from his cheek.
“Help us please” some year 5 Ravenclaw grasps Potters shoulder and it almost sends him toppling backwards. Draco stands so fast his head spins and the great hall splits into two, he pushes his temples and the world rights itself.
Potter looks around, anguish clear in the lines of his beautiful face, he locks his eyes onto Draco’s and Draco swears the noise of the hall fades, but then Potter looks back to the Ravenclaw and everything comes rushing back. Draco watches Potter shoulder people out of his way as he makes his way to the grand doors. Draco follows after him.
The halls are empty and the pictures are quiet. No one is outside. No one would wander alone when they have friends to hold onto. Draco only just notices the swish of Potters robes as he rounds a corner. No one should be alone right now. Draco follows him without hesitation.
Potter goes up flights of stairs, rounds corners at the last second, goes through doors that Draco has never, and will never again, seen before. Potter doesn’t look over his shoulder once, and for that Draco is glad.
The astronomy tower looms before them and when Draco’s footsteps falter Potter pauses at the bottom step and turns for the first time. His eyes are red, his skin pale, and his hands shaking yet he still smiles his crooked smile “you coming up, Draco?”
Draco takes a step forward and then stops, waits for something- someone to hold him back. Nothing comes. Potter continues his climb and doesn’t look back again. His and Draco’s heavy breathing and footsteps the only noise to cut through the silence. Draco wonders for a second what his parents are doing.
Fighting. Probably.
The two boys reach the top of the tower and Draco watches Potter lower himself down, letting his feet dangle over the edge. Draco takes a tentative step forward but does not sit. He doesn’t even know why he followed Potter here in the first place. Why Potter let him follow.
“I come here sometimes. When the world gets too loud” Potter says, though it’s directed into the night sky so Draco assumes he’s not waiting for an answer. Perhaps the stars are also listening. Leaning in closer, as Draco does, when Potter opens his mouth again “My life feels so insignificant when I remember how easy it would be to just fall”
Potter drops a pebble over the edge and watches it fall. His voice is so soft, a tone saved for the cover of darkness only the night brings. Draco feels, less than notices, himself take another step forward and sit down beside him. He takes a steadying breath and looks down.
Below them the lake looks like an empty pit. It’s so far down. So far away. Potter would be dead before Draco could so much as scream, let alone reach out to grab him. His would only be one of the billions of deaths set to fall tonight.
“I suppose it doesn’t really matter so much anymore. All that sacrificing and fighting. In the end I am just as crushable as my parents were, or Cedric, or Sirius, or Fred, or Voldemort. Death doesn’t care about saving the world” Potter shakes his head, he seems content on just talking and letting Draco listen. Draco could also spend the last hour of his life listening to Potter talk.
“Why are we here?” Draco whispers, glancing away from the fall to look up at Potters side profile, outlined by the glow of the moon, he looks almost unreal. If there really were saints Draco could believe Potter was one.
“Eight years ago I refused a handshake. I want to know what it might have been like had I taken it. I know it’s too late for anything really and if you want to go back to your friends and spend your last moments with them I understand. But I want to know you, Draco. And I hope you want to know me too” Potter looks at him and in the darkness their eyes meet, if only for a split second, before Draco looks to the sky.
“What do you want to know?” He asks. They may have been friends had Draco known there was so much more important things than Blood status or Money. But he was only 11, barely a boy. He had gone back in his dreams and changed the way it started hundreds of times. And now he was finally being given a chance too. Even if their friendship only lasted less than an hour, Draco would savour every second he got.
“Are you sorry for any of it?” Potters pinkie finger brushes against Draco’s and every colour seems to brighten. But then he pulls his hand away to cradle in his lap and Draco’s world goes plain again.
“Sorry for the war? Or sorry for what I’ve been over the past 8 years?” Draco frowns, Potter probably means for the war. For siding with the guy who wanted to kill him. For not fighting harder when he-who-must-not-be-named called Draco’s name. Potter wouldn’t give him a hard time over that now, would he? Everyone else seemed to be fine with doing it.
The Malfoy name used to mean something around here. Now it’s treated like dirt. Draco supposes he deserves it. He chose his side. He only wishes he actually had a say in it. Not that any of it truly matters anymore.
“Both? I mean… is there anything you’re sorry for at all?” Potters eyes don’t stray from the stars but Draco watches his Adam’s apples silhouette bob when he swallows. Draco wets his lower lip as he thinks. Is he sorry?
“No.” He says finally. He expects Potter to yell, to shake him, to pull out his wand, maybe even push Draco over the edge, but he does none of that. Instead he spins his legs back above the edge and pushes himself back up against the wall. His feet are millimeters away from Draco’s leg and if Draco moved just the slightest bit they would be touching. Shoe to Pants but still. Touching.
He stays still. Waits for Potter to say something.
“Yeah?” He just asks, looking over Draco in a way that makes Draco’s stomach do backflips. If only they had more time.
“Yeah. I mean I guess sometimes I wish I could change something I did or said but, especially now, there’s no point in dwelling on a past I can’t change, right?” Draco lies back against the cool floor of the astronomy tower. He can feel Potters eyes boring into the side of his face but he ignores it and hopes the darkness is enough to cover the flush spreading across his cheeks.
“Hmm” Potter takes off his glasses and closes his eyes. Draco finally turns to look at him. To watch the way his features turn soft when he thinks no one can see him. It’s nice. It’s so nice Draco gets a feeling of longing for something that could’ve been had he not been such a coward.
“I’m sorry I never told you the truth” Draco mumbles, sighing as a cool gust of wind wraps itself around him and makes him shiver. He runs an absentminded finger over the goosebumps on his arms. His coat lies discarded over a chair in a common room he’ll never see again.
“You say something?” Potter opens his eyes and nudges Draco’s leg with his toe on accident. Neither boy mentions it. Potter because he probably didn’t even notice and Draco because he can’t notice anything else.
“Uh no. You gonna say goodbye to your friends?” Draco grips the edges of his robe to stop from reaching out and running his hand up Potters pant leg and over the skin there. What is wrong with him. He’s been able to keep all of these stupid urges and feelings to himself for the past year. Why are they coming back now. When there’s nothing he can do about them.
“Nah. Everything I would want to say to them I already have. It’s only you I never know what to say too” Potter shrugs, turning his face away again to stare into the forbidden forest. Forbidden forbidden forbidden something repeats in the back of Draco’s mind.
“You don’t know what to say to me?” Draco scoffs, putting his hands behind his head to keep it off the dirty ground. He may be dying soon but he might as well try to stay clean anyway. “Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world, doesn’t know what to say to me? Salazar that sounds ridiculous”
Potter gives him an odd look “Why is that weird? I always thought you were better with words than anyone in our class, even Hermione. Though don’t tell her I said that” Potter grins, creasing the corner of his eyes. Draco can feel his insides getting warmer.
“How could I? I don’t have the time” Draco replies and bursts the small bubble of happiness. That’s him. Ruiner of all things good.
“Right. I’d almost forgotten about that. I’m going to miss this place. Well I don’t think I’ll be able to miss it if I’m dead but still” Potter pulls his legs to his chest and Draco finally unclenches his hands, though he suddenly feels colder than before. Potter picks at the hem of his robe with his dirty finger nails.
“I think you can still miss something if you’re dead. You might not know you’re missing it and nobody else would but I think the feeling is still there” Draco thinks he’s said the wrong thing when Potter goes still but when he looks up Potter is smiling at him. Truth be told it’s a sad smile that makes Draco want to hug him, but a smile nonetheless. A smile that’s there because of Draco.
“I love the way you say things. I could listen to you speak forever” Potter crosses his arms over his chest, he’s embarrassed, Draco realises with a start. Potter is flustered.
“Where do you get the confidence to say stuff like that”
“When you almost die everyday you sort of have to say whatever you’re feeling otherwise you might never get the chance again. I guess I just got into the habit of telling the truth whenever I could.” Potter sighs “I’m not sure if that makes sense. Or if you even understand, but it’s nice to say it out loud”
“No I get it. I would sometimes lie awake at night and just say whatever I was feeling into the darkness and in the morning it would be gone and no one would know except me and the shadows. I suppose it’s sort of stupid but it made me feel better, less alone maybe? I can’t ever know what you’ve been through but I understand not wanting to live in silence.” Draco pauses “it’s so easy to tell you things”
Potter sits up straighter “keep talking, your voice is perfect for storytelling… It helps me forget about everything for a while.”
Draco swallows, his stomach rolls and his head spins, Potters words come so easy from his lips lips lips lips. Draco has always understood the hundreds of letters of admiration and obsession and love based on the way Potter looks, he wasn’t blind after all, but something about this intimate way Potter seems to be when it’s just them. It makes Draco want to write his own letters.
“You’re not too bad yourself, Potter” Draco grins but it quickly falls off of his face when he can suddenly feel the shift of tension in the air. Potter clears his throat and rubs his hands together. “What?” Draco asks and Potter stares at him.
“It’s been 8 years. I have a first name you twat” Potter rolls his eyes, breaking the precious moment they had just been having. Gone just like that. Harry sounds weird in his mouth. Unfamiliar. It’s sounds too much like if they were actually friends. Actually something more.
“Say my name” Potter shuffles over until he’s practically on top of Draco and then stares down at him. Draco sits up and suddenly they’re barely centimetres away from each other. If Draco leant forward even just slightly, if the wind pushed him forward, their lips would meet. Draco looks away from Potters lips and up to his eyes. Though that’s almost worse. They’re so green, basically emerald.
“I-“ Draco can’t speak. Potter won’t look away from his eyes. They haven’t strayed to any other part of Draco. He tries not to feel disappointed. Potter says it again “Say my name” but this time he’s so close Draco can feel his breath on his lips. He smells so good.
“Harry” he finally whispers and this isn’t right. This isn’t normal. Potter likes girls. Draco- Draco can’t like Potter. He just can’t. Potter squints his eyes and Draco feels as though he’s being interrogated. Their lips get closer together. Draco’s never kissed a boy before.
But then Potters pulling away and clearing his throat “See, how hard was that, Draco?” He adds Draco’s name with a wink and drags out the O. Draco looks away. He can’t handle this right now. He just… needs a moment.
“Hey mate, sorry I didn’t mean to make it weird. I didn’t realise how close we were it’s just- you’ve never said my first name before and seeing as, well you know?” Potter shrugs and Draco feels his heart plummet. It’s not like he had been expecting Potter to shag him right there or anything but maybe he’d expected something.
“It’s nothing. I didn’t realise me being able to say your name was so important” Draco grins, though he doesn’t feel like it, and adds “Harry” as an afterthought.
“You’re still a git” Potter replies but he’s laughing too. He’s laughing. Actually laughing. Draco knows the world is about to end but it feels as though his is only just starting. He can see his life stretching before him like an apple tree, all the apples showing him of what could have been. But there, right in the middle, is a rotten apple, almost dead, and Draco knows that’s his one. Even if he doesn’t want it.
“What would you have done with your life if it wasn’t ending tonight?” Draco asks suddenly and Potter stops laughing. He frowns. Probably confused by Draco’s sudden change of subject. They hadn’t made a rule about not speaking about it but it was sort of implied and Draco had just broken it.
“Became an auror maybe? Married some nice girl, had a few kids? Lived a peaceful life and hoped no new evil wizard was coming to try and kill me?” Potter shrugs “What about you?”
Draco opens his mouth but he can’t say anything. His brain is repeating Potters words back to him girl. marriage. children.
”Move somewhere warmer maybe. Far away from here. Where nobody knows me. And then start all over” Draco sighs “You could come with me. We could disappear forever, you could write an owl to your friends every once in a while, let them know you’re okay. But you could live the life you always wanted. Be a boy.”
“Who said I’d decided to be your friend yet?” Potter grins “No but really that sounds perfect. Being just a normal guy? That’s all I’ve ever wanted. To even be able to imagine experiencing that one day feels unreal”
Potter seems to have forgotten that he won’t experience that one day. That no one will ever experience that again. That no matter how hard Draco wishes for it they are stuck. They will never make it out of this castle. They will be dead before the sun even comes up. Draco doesn’t say any of this though, he lets Potter smile to himself and wonders if their imaginations of the future hold all the same things. Draco glances at Potters lips. Probably not.
“Yeah it sounds nice”
They sit in silence for what feels like forever but is probably no more than 3 minutes. Draco can feel the time ticking away faster than before. He wants to grab onto it, strangle it, ask it to give them some more time. He said earlier there’s no use dwelling on the past, but right now he wishes more than anything that he could go back and change it.
Potter will never get to experience everything he wants, a normal life, marriage, children, all of it. And after everything that he’s been through and done for the wizarding world you would think the ministry would be slightly more thankful. They’re not. Draco wants to strangle them too. He’s thought it out, how he would hurt every single person who has so much as brought an ounce of pain into Potters life. It helps keep the other thoughts away when he’s alone in his room.
“You feeling alright? You look sick” Potter reaches out to wipe a sweaty piece of hair away from Draco’s forehead and then he pauses, his hand lingering above Draco’s ear. Draco can feel his heart beating in his chest, Potter can probably hear it too. That’s probably why he pulls his hand away so fast. “Sorry, you just look sort of pale”
“I always look sort of pale. Not all of us were blessed with brown skin like you” Draco rolls his eyes, trying to ignore and/or push down the feelings bubbling in his throat. He really can’t deal with this right now. He’s got enough on his plate as it is.
“Pfft. I happen to like your pale skin. It suits you” Potter shakes his head and they both sort of freeze. 3 hours ago, had they been stuck together on the astronomy tower, before knowing they were both doomed, they would have been throwing insults back and forth. Though Draco’s insults had begun to be more halfhearted and Potter doesn’t seem to bite as often anymore. Maybe they both really did change.
“I wonder what’s going on down there right now. I wonder if the muggles know?” Potter leans over the edge and Draco has to look away, Potters too close it’s making him feel nauseous. It’s the only thing stopping him from making some dumb comment about muggles that will leave Potter angry and Draco feeling 10x worse about himself than usual.
“The students have probably calmed down slightly, maybe begun making their way back to their common room, writing letters to their loved ones. As for the muggles I could tell you. Is that something your ministry would tell them?”
Potter shakes his head “No, probably not. And I don’t know if that’s better or worse. Would I have been happier if I didn’t know what was coming?”
Draco nods “You may have been happier and then all of a sudden been gone but at least now everyone has a chance to set their affairs in order and no one should, theoretically, die regretting something”
“Do you regret anything?” Potter taps his knee and then frowns “Wait sorry. Dumb question. You said earlier you didn’t dwell on the past”
Draco shrugs “I try not to dwell on the past, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t things I regret.”
“Like what? What’s one thing you regret?” Potter leans forward and Draco wonders if kissing him would be the perfect way to convey what he regrets but Draco, even with the world ending, doesn’t have the bravery for that. That’s a gryffindor thing. Potter stares at him and Draco wants to know what he regrets. If anything.
“I regret joining umbridges society still sometimes. Which sounds so stupid considering the other society’s I’ve joined” Draco rubs his arm “But it all seems so petty now. That whole thing with Cho Chang. I’ve never seen you look at someone with so much hatred, not even me. Well until I became a death rather I guess”
“I didn’t hate her. And I don’t hate you. You pissed me off sometimes, sure, but who didn’t? At least you never pretend to like me and then turned on me when the ministry told you to.” Potter sighs, Draco thinks he can remember that. Fifth year. Potter was so adamant that He-who-must-not-be-named was back, he was right of course, but no one, least of all the ministry, believed him and basically the whole school turned against him.
Draco’s insults seemed childish compared to some of the things these kids would come up with. Draco wasn’t sure if he wanted to be their friend or punch them. Draco could tell fifth year took a heavy toll on Potter and Draco definitely didn’t help. He wishes he could turn back time and change it all. But maybe that’s just it. He’s not here to change anything, he’s here because nothing changed.
“What about you? Anything you regret?” Draco shoots the question back at him. He waits patiently for Potter to ponder the question, open his mouth 3 times and then close it again, and when Potter runs a hand through his messed up hair, Draco doesn’t say a word. Potters gotta regret something. Draco just wants to know, the secret will die with him anyways.
“I regret something new everyday.” Potter finally says “But most of all I regret surviving that killing curse. Maybe that’s not something I can regret considering I didn't have a choice but it’s something I wish I could change so i assume it counts?” He glances at Draco and Draco shrugs
“Why would you regret that? Do you want to die?”
“I’m not suicidal, if that’s what you’re asking, no. I just got thrown into this whole life of saving the world at 11, I killed someone with my bare hands at 11, Draco. How could I ever touch someone again without knowing whether or not I might kill them.”
Draco laces his hand with Potters and they both stare at the stark contrast of the white against the brown. Draco clears his throat but neither boy moves their hand “Look, I’m fine. You’re not killing anybody.”
Potter looks at him and then back at their hands and then back at him “I haven’t killed anyone in ages with my hands, but I still get nightmares about accidentally touching my friend an suddenly they just crumble before me. Do you even know what that’s like. To watch someone- to feel someone crumble underneath your hands?”
Potter chokes back a sob “Godric now I’m just being pathetic.”
Draco hesitates, glances down at their intertwined hands and then pulls Potter into his chest, wrapping his arms around Potters body. He’s warm and smells nice. Draco can feel his hair tickling at his chin and he whispers “You’re okay, Harry”
It should feel weird and it does but it also feels kind of… right? Potter leans his face against Draco’s shoulder and says nothing. They just sit there together above the castle, above everyone else, Draco Malfoy hugging a sobbing Harry Potter. What a sight they must be. Draco doesn’t want to let go.
But eventually Potter pulls back and wipes his nose “That’s even more pathetic. Sorry Draco. I- I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never been so emotional?”
“Don’t worry about it” Draco tries to ignore the feeling in his stomach. Now is not the time. There will never be a time for this. “You went through so much at a young age it would be weird if you didn’t feel something, right? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Potter leans back against the wall again and wraps his own arms around himself, Draco wants to be there, wants to be the one hugging him. “Hermione says that it would make me a psychopath if I didn't feel anything. Shes losing the most, I think, she already had her whole future planned out and now she’s never going to get that” Potter blinks back another tear.
“We’re all losing something. Are you sure you don’t want to talk to them? What about the weasel girl? I thought you two liked one another?” Draco clenches his jaw. He doesn’t want to talk about this. But if it makes Potter feel better he can handle it for 2 minutes.
“The weasel girl? You mean Ginny? I liked her, what? 2 years ago? But she didn’t take it very well when I told her she couldn’t come with us in our seventh year because it was too dangerous. I wasn’t saying that she couldn’t handle herself, she can, I just didn’t want another life on my hands if something did go wrong.”
Draco nods, not sure really what to say, he can’t tell how Potter feels about the weasel girl. He can’t tell whether Potter still likes her or feels indifferent. Would it be weird to ask?
“I don’t like her anymore. If that’s what you’re asking. We’re friends, I think? Ron would have killed me anyways, if I did do anything” Potter smiles at his own joke. His friends are more like family to him. Draco’s jealous. Not that he doesn’t love Blaise, Pansy, and Goyle, it’s just different. It’s been different ever since Crabbe died.
“What about your friends? Anyone you like?” Potter lifts his eyebrows in a questioning manner, as if to say you got anyone you wanna shag. Yes. Yes, Potter, Draco does have someone he wants to shag. But that might be strange to say out loud. Do you wanna shag me right now? Before we both die?
”my friends are all good people and I love them, but” Draco glances at Potters face, at his lips, at his curved nose, his green eyes, the scar on his forehead, his exposed neck, his hair, everything. “There’s no one who’s caught my eye, I suppose. No one who would want to go out with me now after everything anyway”
“People really still hold that against you?” Potter frowns but before Draco can say yes he continues talking “I don’t believe that there’s no one in the whole of hogwarts who you don’t at least fancy. What about someone you would shag?”
There it is. The question Draco knew was coming. Potter wouldn’t expect him to say you and that’s too far for Draco anyhow but maybe he could start it off, say some boys name. Discern Potters reaction. Maybe Draco could say Blaise. Blaise would never know and he is handsome, there’s no denying it.
“Someone I would have sex with? I’m not sure. My last good shag was some 7th year Ravenclaw student. Can’t even remember” and here’s the choice. Does Draco say His name or Her name? It was a girl but the one before that was a guy so maybe he wouldn’t be lying “his name”
“His?” Potter frowns, a flush spreading over his cheeks that makes Draco smile. So maybe Potter does feel something. “I didn’t know you- you were, uh?-“
“Gay? Yeah it’s kind of a secret but I guess there’s no point in hiding it now.” Draco shrugs
“Huh, yeah, you’re right. So any boys you wanna shag then?” Potter grins and then he WINKS. he winks. Draco can feel his neck and face burn. Does Potter know? He cant. can he? This must all be some joke. Potters just being stupid.
“Didn't know you were into me but if you’re really asking, we’ve still got time” Draco shrugs. Potter leans back against the wall and laughs, exposing all the skin on his neck. Draco wants to sink his teeth into it.
“You’d have to take me on a date first! I won’t just give it up right away” Potter smirks back. Draco used to hate when people would smirk but Potter made it look good. Salazar he was frustrating.
“I was just joking. Promise” Potter cocks his head to the side when Draco takes too long to reply. Draco shoots back a strained smile before looking away. He almost gave himself away and now he can’t stop imaging Potter underneath him.
“I know, sorry I was just… you know? Thinking?” Draco makes a face “you ever wanted to kiss a boy?” He says it quickly because if he doesn’t he never will. And it’s a weird question considering it won’t matter in 20 minutes anyways.
“Godric. I’m not sure. I’ve never really thought about it” Potter shrugs, runs a finger over his bottom lip, and then looks to Draco and smiles. “Is it much different to kissing a girl?”
“Not the kissing, no.” Draco shakes his head. He could show him. I could show you. Potter hums something, maybe agreement? Draco wonders if now is the perfect time to kiss him. Then if it all goes bad he can lose himself in the great hall. It would take Potter over 1/2 hour to find him. He could just lean over. If he wanted to. He wants to so bad.
“I can’t believe we’re going to die tonight” Potter shuffles closer to the edge and then stands. He looks like he’s contemplating jumping off. Draco reaches out and then pulls his hand back. Saving Potter doesn’t matter so much anymore. “I knew I would die eventually. I just didn’t think it would be this early”
Draco stands, wipes down his robes and then goes to stand next to Potter “Are you trying to die even earlier? Standing so close to the edge?” Draco leans over to look at the ground and suddenly he’s slipping forward. His feet are no longer touching solid ground and he’s falling. This is it he thinks. He’s going to die on his own accord not someone else’s. But then just as suddenly as it happens, he’s not falling anymore and his arm feels like it’s being ripped out of its socket.
Potter is on his knees leaning down, gripping Draco’s arm so tightly it hurts. Veins are popping out of his neck as he struggles to hold on and Draco shakes his head slightly “just let me go, Harry. We’re all going to die anyway” his legs feel like jelly, dangling hundreds of metres above the ground. He feels like he might throw up.
“No” Potter grunts “I can’t let you die. I won’t.”
Why not? Draco wants to yell at him. After everything why would Potter want to save his life? Again? Draco hasn’t done anything to deserve Potters kindness. He’s been nothing but horrible to him. Why won’t Potter just let go? It’s what everyone else at this school would do.
“I’ve had a really great time with you. Letting me go now won’t change that.” Draco smiles and watches a tear streak down Potters face. Is Potter crying? For Draco? He must have hit his head or something.
“Shut up” Potter breathes out and then starts pulling Draco up. He’s, surprisingly, really strong. He pulls Draco up what seems like pretty easily but when they both collapse onto solid ground he’s breathing hard. Then suddenly he’s pulling Draco into his chest and squeezing him. It feels nice. To have someone so worried about him.
“Never do that again.” Potter whispers into Draco’s hair and Draco shivers. Not because he’s cold, although he is, but because Potters voice is so soft and Draco can feel his breath on his neck. “Are you cold?” Potter lets Draco go.
“Now I am” Draco sits up, pushes himself up against a wall as far away from the edge as possible and wraps his arms around himself. Potter hands him his overcoat and sits down next to him.
“Here” he says “this should do the trick”
Draco takes it and pulls it around his shoulders, slipping his arms through the sleeves. Although Draco is taller, Potter seems to like his overcoats oversized as Draco’s fingers barely reach the end of the sleeves. It smells good, like Potter, and Draco closes his eyes.
“Thank you” Draco says “for the coat and for saving my life”
Potter smiles “you would have done the same for me.” Draco nods but would he have? He had been thinking, just seconds before, how Potter was going to die anyway so it wouldn’t matter if he saved his life or not. Draco feels sick again. Potter would never let someone die.
Draco looks over at him only to find Potter already staring at him with those green eyes. Neither boy looks away. Draco swallows, Potter wets his lower lip, drawing Draco’s attention to his mouth. Oh Salazar this can’t end well.
“Can I ask you something?” Potters mouth moves and Draco clears his throat but they both still don’t look away. Draco can’t look away.
“Sure. Ask anything” Draco glances back down at Potters lips.
“Do you want to kiss me?” Potter raises an eyebrow and his lip quirks up to the right. Draco looks away, embarrassed.
He opens and closes his mouth a few times but no words come out. What is he supposed to say to that?
“I don’t mind if you do. You definitely wouldn’t be the first” Potter laughs, what is wrong with him? Why is he asking this. Draco feels like he might be sick. Is Potter playing some sick joke or something? Does he know Draco is in love with him? Is that why he brought him up here? To embarrass him? To make himself feel better?
“Are you messing with me right now?” Draco frowns and Potter shakes his head.
“I’m being serious. We’ve got, what? 10 minutes to live. I just thought I’d ask. You keep looking at my lips” Potter shrugs. Why is he so confident. It’s so infuriating.
“I-“ Draco shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts “you can’t just ask me that”
“Why not?”
Draco groans, frustrated, “it’s just not something you go around asking about. I would never ask you if you want to kiss me”
“You don’t have to ask. I do want to kiss you. That’s why I’m asking” Potter frowns
“You? You want to kiss me? Why?” Draco is so confused.
“I’ve asked myself the same question hundreds of times, I have no idea. You’re a terrible person most of the time and we’ve never had a decent conversation. But for some reason I can’t stop thinking about you”
Potter has got to be joking. Right? He can’t be serious. This is all messing with Draco’s head. He doesn’t know what to say or do.
“You’re kidding” Draco says.
“Draco, without sounding narcissistic, a lot of people want to kiss me or have sex with me or even just touch me. I can tell by the way you look at me that you wanna do at least one of those things. I don’t mind I just want to know before we die. You’ve got like 10 minutes” Potter checks his watch and Draco does the same. 7:23 and counting.
“Oh” is all he can manage
“So? Can I kiss you or are we going to waste even more time pretending that you don’t want me?” Potter tilts his head against the wall to look at him and Draco wants to kiss him so bad.
“I- please” Draco mumbles and it must be enough because Potter grins that wicked grin of his and kisses the breath out of Draco.
its better than even Draco could imagine. So much better. Potters obviously very experienced.
He pulls Draco in by his waist and leaves his hands there, his thumbs toying with the waistband of Draco’s boxers.
Potter wraps their tongues together and Draco makes a noise that he would usually be very embarrassed about but it seems to drive Potter even crazier. So Draco does it again.
This time Potter pulls away, breathing hard, “You don’t know what you do to me”
Draco licks his own bottom lip, still staring at Potters, before replying “tell me”
“You consume every millimetre of my thoughts. Not a second goes by where I don’t think about you. And the worst part is, I don’t even know why. We haven’t had a full blown conversation, before this, in years” Potter sighs, twisting his lip in his fingers.
Draco nods “I get it. I mean, I think I’ve always been interested by you but I didn’t realise what it meant till maybe a year ago? I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same though”
“So that’s why you’ve been so nice to me this year?” Potter grins, teasing Draco.
“You noticed?”
“It’s not every day that your sworn rival, I’m not even sure how it got so out of hand we were quite literally 11, starts smiling at you in the hallways and offering you quills when you run out” Potter laughs “Hermione swore that you had been drugged.”
“You make me sound terrible. and I suppose I was. So for that, i’m sorry, you know. For everything” Draco looks at Potter, who is staring out into the sky.
“I know. It’s okay.” Potter doesn’t apologise, he doesn’t need to. He was born into this terrible life and instead of helping him out, a lot of people, Draco included, tormented him. Some little 11 year old boy.
“It’s not okay. But thank you”
“Draco, before we die” Potter cringes, Draco shrugs “I just want you to know that I never hated you. Sure you were annoying and frustrating but I never wished you any ill or death. You were the only person who didn’t treat me differently because I was ‘the chosen one’. You hated me because I refused your friendship. You made me feel normal. So thank you”
Dracos mouth falls open. That is definitely not what he’d expected.
“I- You- We both could’ve gone about it better I think. You deserved a better life, Harry” Draco takes Potters hand in his as the bells go off around them. The world is coming to an end.
Harry smiles and pulls Draco in for one last kiss as the walls fall down around them. This is a nice way to end.