Before the beginning
5th September 1971
James:
When you grow up as an only child, you tend to fantasize about the possibility of having siblings. You think about how you would defend them and how they would be your best friend, someone to keep you company, someone to rant to in the night when you feel alone and your parents, god bless them, don't understand you. This is exactly how James felt all his life, but he was now on the eve of his first day in Hogwarts and the thing he was wishing for the most was finding someone who would be all that for him. He made that wish to every penny thrown in a fountain and to every shooting star. Obviously, he had Peter, he loved him, he was his best friend, but this was mostly because of their families, he didn't share his spirit, and he appreciated him regardless, but sometimes he just felt as if he was missing something.
He knew it wasn't his parents fault that he didn't have any siblings, he might be 11 but he wasn't as unaware as his mom and dad thought he was. He noticed the longing stares at the baby strollers in the park near his house, and how his dad held the newborns and played with the kids of their guests when they hosted events. But what he specially noticed was the time in which his mom had cried after visiting “the baby doctor” as Monty had told him.
So James knew that no matter how much he wanted to, he shouldn't ask, because there are certain details that one should pay attention to, his mom said those details were the important ones when you care about someone. And he cared about his parents. This, however, didn't mean he wasn't static about tomorrow.
So he tried to fall asleep as soon as he could. Because, the sooner he wakes up, the sooner tomorrow arrives, and tomorrow he will board the Hogwarts Express, and his entire life might begin.
5th September 1971
Remus:
Remus was mean and he knew that. But he also knew that that is what he was meant to be, mean and cold, so no one could mistake him for a normal person. His mother warned him constantly, she told him to not get too close to anyone or they might find out. As if he had to be reminded, it was his condition after all, no one knew better than him what it was to live like that, to be a monster and to know that whatever you chose to love, you put at risk. But this time, his mother was being excruciatingly thorough, he knew how much she hated being away from him, not because she missed him, but because she knew she didn't have control when she wasn't there, and tomorrow he will leave to a place where no one will be there to control him, but he knew what to do.
“Now remember, if you think anyone suspects anything, you tell us right away” said his Mom. “And try not to be mean, you will attract attention” “Then how do you want me to not make friends” he answered sharply with a frown he knew deceived most people from answering his rhetorical questions. Hope exhaled, as if she could somehow be more tired of this than he is “you know what I mean, if all goes well” “if all goes well you will get rid of me and you won't have to keep moving houses because of the monster of a son that you have” he interrupted her “stop putting words on my mouth, you are making this harder than it has to be, i was going to say that if all goes well you will be able to get a proper education”. He knew he was making it harder, but he wanted to, he wanted her to feel how hard it was for him because she could never understand, no one could “as if a proper education would mean anyone would hire someone like me”. His mother left after that, he knew he had made an irrefutable point. He was young, but he was alone a lot of the time so he had time to think and to reflect, tho he was only 11 there were certain things Remus knew:
He knew he mustn't make friends.
He knew his dad was disappointed.
He knew no one could ever understand.
He knew he was doomed.
He knew he was the reason his parents kept having to move.
He knew all of this and he knew there was no point in changing anything because none of it would change the fact that Remus John Lupin was a werewolf. However, there was this little voice in his head that he knew was childish and was telling him not to give up. So, as little he was and as old as he felt, Remus went to sleep that night with a spark of hope for a possible future in which he had friends, a proud father and he didn't feel like being a werewolf was a death sentence.
And so he tried to fall asleep as soon as he could. Because, the sooner he wakes up, the sooner tomorrow arrives, and tomorrow he will board the Hogwarts Express, and his entire life might begin.
5th September 1971
Sirius:
There are decisions one has to make everyday. Especially if one is the heir of the most ancient and noble house of black. Sirius felt as if the title was silly, he knew he shouldn't and he knew he was meant to feel as if he was better than the rest. That is what he had been told. But he simply did not.
Tomorrow was the day he would go to Hogwarts and finally train his magic and prove himself to the wizarding world. Prove what he was made of. But right now he was just an 11 year old boy in his bed thinking
hen his letter arrived it was of no surprise and so Sirius chose to make some decisions that day, among the decisions Sirius made were that:
He would befriend the coolest people, regardless of their blood status.
He won't be a Slytherin like the rest of his family.
He won't be like the rest of his family.
He will have fun. A lot of fun.
He knew he would have fun because no one would be there to supervise him, and he was Sirius Black. He might not like the title but he will make sure that his name is known and is his and only his. He won't be the heir. He won't be Walburga’s son. He will be Sirius and that will be enough. And there won't be anyone to tell him otherwise.
And so he tried to fall asleep as soon as he could. Because, the sooner he wakes up, the sooner tomorrow arrives, and tomorrow he will board the Hogwarts Express, and he will get away from his family, and his entire life will begin.
5th September 1971
Peter:
On occasions Peter thought he wasn't enough, on others he knew, and on others he was with James and he didn't have to try, he just was. So he was excited that tomorrow they would live together. That is, if he gets into Gryffindor, he knows James will, like his father, he knows without a doubt. But when he stops to think about what he will be he sees nothing clear, for starters, he didn't even know if he would get into Hogwarts, with the amount of squibbs in his family. The relief that came with his admissions letter however, was quickly overthrown by his worries.
His mother often told him to think of his priorities so he would stop thinking about the infinite amount of things that could go wrong, but he simply couldn't.
Tonight however, he had one key priority he knew was the most important: his friend, or hopefully friends. He wanted to be in a group of people and to be confident like James. That was his biggest priority, for it was his biggest worry.
So he tried to fall asleep as soon as he could. Because, the sooner he wakes up, the sooner tomorrow arrives, and tomorrow he will board the Hogwarts Express, and his entire life might begin.