Evan Rosier was sitting on his bed, working on his transfigurations essay. It was the last day of Christmas break; it was the day his roommates would return. He sighed. It’s not like he minded sharing a room with Bartemius Crouch and Regulus Black, he would just prefer not to. When they were back, he’d have to study in the library again. He didn’t usually do his homework on his bed or even in his own room. Because Black and Crouch would always kick him out, as they had done since their first year. He had tried to be friends with them at first, but when they continued to ignore him, he eventually gave up. He had Pandora after all.
There was a small creak, and then he heard the door open. His eyes widened, and he frantically checked his watch. Was it really time for them to return already? It was, in fact time for his roommates to be back. Fuck. He didn’t know which one of them just arrived, because the curtains around his bed were closed. And he didn’t care either. Except, if it would’ve been Barty only, he would’ve talked to him. They talked sometimes when Regulus wasn’t around. However, the chance that it was Regulus was too big for Evan to exit his small hideaway. It was probably both of them anyway. The door closed with a click. Outside of his cave he heard a sigh. Most likely Black.
“Do you think Evan is here?” the boy asked after a long moment of silence. Evan? Since when did they call him Evan? They didn’t. Not to his face. Who did Regulus think he was to use his first name? They weren’t friends, and Evan certainly didn’t want to be friends with him, not anymore. It would probably make his father happy. Make some friends Evan. What about this guy? Obviously, his dad didn’t say “This guy”, but it was always some pureblood he was distantly related to. He never saw the appeal. Of course, he’d like to have some more friends, but really? Why would he want to be friends with any of the rest of the assholes in Slytherin?
“Probably not.” Barty -Crouch responded. “He’s always in the library or something.”
Well. That was true. Usually, he was. But not today. Not in the holidays, not when he could have the whole room for himself. Not when they wouldn’t send him out.
“Should we check?” Evans eyes widened. Check? Really. He wouldn’t put it past them to do such a creepy thing. Was it creepy? It was mostly annoying. Why wasn’t he allowed to be there just because they needed to talk about something?
“Nah, I’m sure he would’ve said something by now, don’t you think?” Maybe he should have said something. Was he being creepy? Perhaps, but he really didn’t want to say anything now. It would be so awkward if he did. They would think he was spying on them.
He didn’t care what they thought. It was just weird because they would have to share a room for the entire year still, and he didn’t want to be known as a pervert. So, Evan stayed sitting in his bed, his mostly done essay was lying forgotten in front of him.
“Okay…” the seemingly perfect boy- Regulus- began. He exhaled loudly as if shaking something off. “Did you see him? Like actually? He’s so hot, don’t you think?” What? Of all things he wasn’t expecting Regulus Black to start ranting about a boy. Was he ranting about a boy? Did that mean he was openly queer in front of Barty? And Barty was okay with it? Was Barty- okay. Too many questions to answer. Too many thoughts to think. Barty. Barty had seemingly said nothing, so maybe he had shaken his head or worn a strange expression on his face, because Regulus kept ranting. “And like, his hair is so perfect. You could run your hands through them and mess them up all you want, and he’d still look awesome. There’s simply nothing you could do to make him less hot. Really. Don’t look at me like that, it’s true!”
“Sure.” Evan could hear the smirk in Barty’s voice. He pictured it in his head. The confident, knowing smirk that was Barty’s signature expression. Evan had seen it so often in their private little conversations without Regulus. Though he much preferred the sweet smile Barty used whenever he flirted with Evan. Yes. Flirted with Evan. It was like Barty was a completely different person whenever he was alone. He was funny. He was effortlessly pretty. He was a talkative person with a nice voice. A calming voice. That didn’t mean Barty couldn’t be quiet. Contrary to popular belief, Barty actually liked the quiet, so he had told Evan. Sometimes he needed the quiet to get his thoughts in order and be less impulsive. He had told Evan that he calmed him down. How could Evan not like him after that? Sure, Barty was a bit of a slut, and Evan was not, but a small crush was harmless. A very small, very harmless Crush, mind you. It’s not like it started in second year or anything, before he even knew what it meant to admire the other boy the way he had. Before it was deemed strange by himself, and society. He was allowed to look at girls like that. Not at boys. Never at boys. Technically he hadn’t been allowed to ever since he was five years old. Back when his father had seen him look at a boy from afar and immediately realized what it was. Evan didn’t know why his father had forbidden him from talking to the boy. But he had, and so he didn’t.
“You know it sounds a lot like you fancy him.” The voice, the oh so perfect voice of his dreams and hopes, startles him out of his thoughts.
“Shut up.” The words are spoken through gritted teeth, that much is clear. Regulus Black is embarrassed. Now, all Evan has to do is find out who the mysterious crush is. He’d have perfect blackmail material. The Black heir at his every wish. That sounded cool. He would probably have to wait only a few more minutes, then he would know. Surely, they would say the name of the boy once in this conversation, right?
“What about your Crush then? You want to talk about that?” Regulus was getting defensive, only a couple more minutes then- wait. Barty’s Crush? Barty fancies someone? This is news to Evan. Should he know this? He feels like he should. Why didn’t Barty tell him?
“It’s not a Crush, Reggie.” Oh. Okay good. See, Evan knows what he’s talking about. He might be the second choice, but he knows their friendship is pretty strong. Not as strong as it was with Regulus, but strong, nonetheless. Strong enough that he’d tell him something like that. “It’s much more than that. You know that.”
More than that. Love? Love. Barty was in love with someone, and he hadn’t told Evan. Maybe their friendship wasn’t as good as Evan had thought. Love. Evan was in love too. Shut up. Too many thoughts. Too many feelings. Too little space for them. He needs to get out. The curtains and bedposts are crowding in on him. Soon they’ll have him. He can’t leave. They’ll see him. They’ll see him and then Barty will hate him and- shut the fuck up. There’s a knock on the door. All conversation quiets. He just knows Barty and Black are looking at each other confused.
Evan knows who it is before they say a word.
“Evan? Are you there?” the soft voice of his sister calls out. She sounds worried. Of course, she’d know he was panicking. She always knew. He always knew. They were twins. It came naturally. Magical twins were always something special. Not necessarily rare, but special.
One of the floorboards creaked. Barty was walking, he could tell. The door opened. Evan squeezed his eyes shut for just a second, took a deep breath and finally left his bed. His hiding place.
The second he stepped outside of the curtains he could see three people. Time seemed frozen the way they were looking for him.
The first one was Regulus. Regulus Black. Evan couldn’t tell what exactly the boy was feeling. He seemed shocked. Angry. Scared. A few seconds later he closed off his expression, built up his usual walls that Evan was so used to. He had never seen him differently before. The boy straightened his posture. His face was like stone. Cold. Ice.
The second one was Barty. Crouch. He was easier to read. Disbelief. Shock, anger, fear- just like Regulus. Despair, maybe? Evan was certain there was some sort of sadness in the mix of emotions. He felt bad right away. He really should’ve said something before. Barty had trusted him. Just like Regulus, the boy soon decided on one of the emotions. Anger. He was mad. Oh boy. That would be fun to fix.
And then there was Pandora. When she saw him, her face was flooded with relief. The complete opposite of the two boys.
“Thank Merlin, Evan. You had me worried there.” She exhaled a small breathy laugh. The she checked the rest of the room. The atmosphere. She frowned in confusion. “Guys? What’s wrong? Why are you looking at Evan like that? Did something happen?” She was worried again. She thought they did something to Evan, he realized. Wrong. He had broken the unspoken rules. Normal boundaries. Dumbass. He steadied his features, begged them to stay the way he wanted them to stay.
“Hi. Welcome back guys. Did you have a nice holiday?” he said blankly, instead of addressing Pandora. She would get it. He knew she would. She knew him. She knew them. They were friends with her. He knew it was a stupid question. They did not have a nice holiday; they were forced to go home. Barty had told him all about his family situation. Evan knew the Black family; in a way they were quite similar to his own. Purebloods. He had pitied Regulus over the holidays. He didn’t now. The Black heir was merciless if you got on his bad side. Which Evan just did.
“Rosier.” Was the frosty greeting he received in turn. Barty clenched his jaw. He sent a look towards Regulus; a look Evan couldn’t decipher. Regulus shook his head, very slowly, almost imperceptibly.
“Evan!” the lovely boy said cheerfully. It wasn’t real, Evan could tell. His voice was too high, too tense, just as his posture seemed too stiff. Evan messed up big time. The other boy forced a smile where Regulus just scoffed. The smile was tight.
It was awkward. Evan walked past Barty and Pandora, out of the room. So damn awkward.
He walked around the castle for a couple hours and skipped dinner. When he got back to the dorm, his roommates were sleeping.
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Evan spent the next few days both avoiding the others and also spy on them. He was doing so well, until one day he entered his room and Barty was lying on his bed with his head hanging from the side. Evan looked around the room suspiciously, to check whether Regulus was there. He wasn’t. He cleared his throat. Barty opened his previously closed eyes, and his lips formed a small smile. It was real this time. Merlin, Evan loved it when he smiled like that. It made his heart flutter and breath catch. It looked so much like Barty adored him. Loved him, the way Evan loved him. Stop. No. No. No. Wrong. Evan loved no one.
“Evan!” Barty said cheerfully while sitting up. His back was now facing Evan, but he quickly spun around. Evan pushed the door closed behind him.
“Barty.” He said apprehensively. The boy in question seemed to notice his unease. His eyes were worried.
“Are you okay?” Yeah. Evan was fine. He just couldn’t think clearly. Wasn’t Barty still mad about him spying on a very private conversation? Apparently not. He nodded. Sure. Then he too smiled at the relief clearly shown on Barty’s features.
A concerned look crossed his features just seconds later, just for a moment, but Evan saw it.
“About last time we spoke… you won’t tell anyone, right?”
“No. I won’t.” Why would he? Who would he even tell? Pandora? She most likely knew already. She always knew everything. She probably even knew- nope. Barty relaxed and draped himself back over his bed, head hanging. Evan walked over and pushed him a little to the side, then he lied down next to him. He closed his eyes. All the tension of the last days left him right then. Barty had that effect on him.
He let his mind wander. He remembered the first time they had done this. Back in third year. When he let Barty into his life way too easily because of his dumb infatuation. He didn’t even know the guy, really. Yet, Evan was glad every time he saw him. Glad he got to be friends with a cool guy like him.
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Evan was lying on his bed one evening, face pressed into his cushion, fabric wet from his tears. It was the fourteenth of February, Valentine’s Day. Just before, he had found a letter in his bag, a letter that said to meet him on the Astronomy Tower at dinner. He had been so excited, someone liked him and wanted to hang out with him! When he got there, he had skipped eating for this, mind you, he had found Sirius Black and his gang. As soon as they had seen him, they started laughing. At first, he had been confused, but then he had realized they were laughing at him. He had been so embarrassed, so so embarrassed. Water had sprung into his eyes, and he had run back to his room. For once, his roommates were gone, and small Evan had been so glad no one saw him crying. Until Barty entered the room, of course.
“Rosier? Are you okay?” Evan hadn’t even heard the door open. He turned away and wiped his tears. Crouch was no better than those assholes. After all, he had ignored all his stupid attempts to be friends. He wouldn’t grant him the satisfaction of seeing him cry. After a few seconds of silence, he had heard footsteps over to his bed. “Evan?” the voice was way too close to him. Right behind him. A small hand touched his shoulder. “Are you crying?” Evan shook his head. He wasn’t lying, he had stopped crying the second Crouch started talking. Still, the hand stayed where it was. It was warm. “What happened?” He had never before heard Barty’s voice so soft before. It only added to his admiration for the boy.
“I- “ He coughed, clearing his voice. Then he started again. “It’s nothing, it’s stupid. Don’t worry about it.” After that, Barty had kept bugging him and telling funny stories until Evan was feeling better. Until Evan told him what had happened. Then he had given him a chocolate frog.
“I’ll be your valentine, then.”
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Maybe that was when Evan had fallen in love with him. Probably not though. After all, he wasn’t even in love with Barty Crouch Jr. What a silly thought. Next to him, Barty was breathing. In and out. In and out. And that’s how they kept lying there, next to one another just basking in their closeness. Or not. Evan definitely didn’t do that. Nuh uh. False. You’d be really really wrong if you thought that.
Who was he fooling. He definitely did that. Maybe he was tired of denying his incredibly obvious Crush. Maybe he was tired of pushing his feelings down. Maybe he did love the boy next to him. Would that be so wrong? No.
He felt an abrupt movement to his side. When opening his eyes, he noticed Barty had sat up. He copied the boy. His head was beginning to hurt anyway, with all the blood rushing to his head. Barty must have thought the same, as his face was extremely red. As their eyes naturally drifted to each other, matching smiles grew on their lips. Soon enough they were both laughing for no reason, laughing until they were out of breath.
Maybe it was the rush of blood, or the giddiness that spread through Evans whole body like a wildfire, but he almost said something he shouldn’t have. He had already opened his mouth when he’d realized what exactly he was about to say. I love you. Three damning words. Eight letters. So quick to slip by the mind. It wouldn’t be a weird thing to say in a normal context, he could mean it platonically after all, but this was no normal situation. Besides, Barty was in love with someone. That didn’t mean he was in love with Evan. However, it also didn’t mean that he wasn’t in love with Evan. After all, the conversation was interrupted before they could reveal anything about the person in question. So, there was a chance. But you don’t risk your only friendship for a very slim chance. At least Evan didn’t do that. And he would probably never do it.
The two boys calmed down soon after. Barty kept looking at Evan with that sweet smile and that soft look in his eyes and Evan wanted to melt. His feelings were most likely spelled out in his eyes, in his body language. He wanted to kiss him. Oh, how he wanted to kiss him.
Merlin, if Pandora saw him now, she would know. If she didn’t already. She shouldn’t, he hadn’t told her anything, but then again, he was completely obvious, and she was the opposite of oblivious.
The bell rang and broke the silence. Ruined their moment. It was a good thing, Evan told himself, good because he would have kissed Barty if they had sat there any longer. Definitely a good thing then. The black-haired boy opposite of him coughed nervously. Embarrassed? In any case, he was blushing.
“Well. We should probably go. To dinner. You know?” he shifted uncomfortably.
“Yeah.” Their shoulders brushed in the doorway and Evan was almost 100 percent sure he saw Barty smile at the contact. He didn’t say anything though. The walk to the great hall was silent. Once they arrived at their table, Barty split off and walked over to Regulus, who was already sitting there, talking to a good-looking Slytherin. Evan noticed a faint blush dust his cheeks. Was this the mystery boy Regulus had a Crush on? It certainly looked like it.
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“Are you sure?” a voice whispered, very close to his face. What? Sure about what? Who even was this?
“Huh?” was all he could get out of his mouth. Merlin, his throat was dry. He heard someone giggle and some frantic footsteps. It was a very nice giggle. Bubbly, happy. It sounded a lot like Pandora. “Panda?” he asked. He really wanted some clarity on the situation, but he didn’t want to open his eyes. He was so comfortable in his bed. It was so warm. So nice and warm. Something tingled on his head. The small giggle grew into a laugh. It was definitely Pandora. Eventually he did open his eyes. It was the middle of the night. Drowsily he sat up, looked around. On the usually empty bed were Pandora and Regulus Black, staring at him. Behind them, the door to the bathroom was closed. Light spilled out under the door. It was so comfy. He never wanted to get up. He didn’t have to. So, he laid back down and closed his eyes. It didn’t take long for him to fall back asleep.
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His hair was pink. They had dyed his hair pink. How was he supposed to walk through the halls now? Everyone would be staring. He wasn’t even sure he was allowed to have his hair like that.
Pandora had woken him up that morning at sunrise. She really wanted to see it with him, because apparently it was the prettiest on this particular day. Truthfully, she had probably just been too excited for his reaction. When he had first seen his reflection, he had been shocked. He had been angry, debated storming out of the room and just hexing Regulus. But then, a much better idea entered his mind. If he pretended not to notice or not to care, he could hex him when he was least expecting it. A much better solution than to have them be prepared for it. They were visibly irritated or at the very least confused as to why he wasn’t having a reaction. Pandora knew how important he thought his outer appearance to be. She probably came up with this prank.
The day passed; it was fairly normal. He occasionally saw some people staring at him, gasping, or just generally looking shocked. Even a few of the professors were thrown off by his hair. He encountered one or two people who made snide remarks about his hair, and what it implied. What did it imply? Well, they seemed to think it meant he had some horrible sickness: Queerness. He had hexed them for it. Deserved.
Once he arrived in his dorm, he immediately collapsed on his bed and closed the curtains. Fuck anyone who wanted to disturb him. He just wanted to sleep; he was exhausted. For literally no reason. He drifted off slowly. Sometime later, he woke up dehydrated, and totally lost with the time. How long had he slept? He checked his watch. It hadn’t been that long, thankfully. Only then did he hear the voices.
“- and I don’t know how to tell him. Or if I even should. I might ruin everything, you know? Or friendship is so fragile.” Regulus was talking. Shit. Were they having a secret session again? Was Evan spying on them again? Oh no. They were going to be so mad at him. It wasn’t even his fault this time. He had been sleeping! He should say something now. Then he could tell them that. Then again, he could do that later on as well. He could pretend he just woke up. It really was too interesting, hearing about their secrets. He knew it was an asshole thing to do, but he just couldn’t help himself. Barty was laughing. It was clear that he was making fun of Regulus, just by the sound of it. Evan heard Regulus huff annoyedly. “Okay, you can stop laughing. What about the person you’re in love with? Are you going to tell them how you feel anytime soon?” His words didn’t stop Barty’s laughing, in any case it just made him laugh harder. At careful examination of Regulus’ choice of words, a thought Evan. The person. Them. Regulus didn’t seem to know who this person was. Or he knew Evan was awake and didn’t want to say anything. Although that was unlikely.
Barty did stop laughing eventually. “Well, I’ll have you know, he practically knows how I feel about him already. We’re basically dating, I think.” Evan’s eyes widened. Basically dating. Barty was seeing someone?
“You’re seeing someone?” was the question Regulus asked. For once, a good question. “Since when? When do you even have the time for that? You’re around me like, all the time.” True. Barty was with Regulus most of the time. Except- except for when he was with Evan. A wide smile spread on his face. Fuck yeah. He knew it. Okay, he hadn’t known it, he had just had a very strong inkling before. And now he practically had confirmation. Barty was in love with him. He only barely stopped himself from squealing.
“You didn’t tell me?” the boy seemed to almost be- hurt? Evan almost, almost, felt bad for him. But he didn’t really, because this boy had made his hair pink, and besides you don’t need to tell anyone every single thing about yourself. Still, Barty was his best friend. They most likely shared everything with each other.
“Look, it’s like- it’s hard to explain. I mean- I don’t even know if he feels the same. But I’m pretty sure he knows I like him, and he hangs around me anyway. Or maybe he’s just extremely oblivious. Either way, nothing serious is happening. I would’ve told you otherwise, I promise.” Barty took a breath. “We’ve been talking since; I think third year. And I’m telling you he’s perfect. I’ve been falling harder for him every single time we talk.” Everything just burst out of him, like a balloon had popped, a balloon full of everything Evan.
“Third year? That’s a long time.” Regulus seemed to be lost in thought. “He makes you happy, so I don’t think I have to threaten him. Or do I?” the last part was phrased as a question to Barty, who was probably frantically shaking his head. “Who is it? Are you going to tell me now? You know about my crush, after all.”
“It’s Ev-“ the door to the dorm opened. Pandora. Evan felt her presence right away. The other two boys went silent.
“Hi guys. Have you seen Evan? I’ve been looking for him, and he wasn’t in the library, so I thought I’d check here.” She had been looking for him? She was happy, so it couldn’t be anything bad. He had half a mind to just exit his bed and come out, but that’d mean he would have to reveal his spying again. He laid back down and pretended to sleep. As in, he closed his eyes and tried his best to even out his breathing. “Am I interrupting something?” Pandora asked eventually, after neither of the boys answered her. They were presumably just looking at each other.
They must have shaken their heads. Barty cleared his throat. “He’s sleeping. I’m sure you can wake him up, he won’t mind.” They knew he had been sleeping. So, they must’ve checked, to prevent making the same mistake they did last time.
“No, if he’s sleeping it’s fine. It’s nothing important anyway.” She paused. “So, what were you guys talking about?”
“Barty was about to tell me the name of the person he’s in love with.” Regulus answered. Pandora must have known about all this as well. She didn’t seem too surprised that Barty was in love. Just that he was going to reveal the person that it was. She let out an excited squeal. Only- Evan wasn’t sure he wanted to hear Barty tell anyone before him. Evan wanted to be the first who knew, properly. His only option was to pretend to have woken up and interrupt them.
“It’s-“ Barty started speaking, just as Evan moved loudly. He got out of his bed, and purposefully stepped on the creaking floorboard he usually avoided at all costs, thus making Barty stop talking once more. Evan rubbed his eyes, to make it seem like he just woke up. When he opened his eyes, he saw three people looking over at him. Again.
The first one was Regulus. Regulus Black. This time, Evan could tell exactly what the boy was feeling. He was angry. Again. Though, this time it seemed more like annoyance than actual anger. Annoyance at the fact he still didn’t get to know who Barty was in love with. Evan suppressed a smile. The boy rolled his eyes.
The second one was Barty. Lovely Barty. He displayed his feelings so clearly, that if Regulus or Pandora looked at him, they’d know. Love. Adoration. It was so clear to Evan this time around. He couldn’t find any of the sadness or betrayal of last time, which meant they believed his little performance of waking up just then.
And then there was Pandora. Her expression switched from excited to- even more excitement. And happiness.
“Oh Evan! There you are. I was going to tell you about the thing!” The thing? Evan went through his memories, desperately trying to find the thing. And there it was. He raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah? Any developments on that?” obviously, there had been developments. Her face was glowing with joy. She would probably burst into glitter if she didn’t get it out of her system in a few seconds.
“I kissed her. She kissed me back. Oh, Evs I love her so much!” Both Regulus and Barty turned to her. Barty looked incredulous. Regulus seemed to be in disbelief. Evan smiled.
“Really? That’s great.” Pandora had been pining for this girl- Eliana Hope- for ages. “So… is she your girlfriend now?” He knew Pandora liked to do a lot of things at the same time, but sometimes she forgot the most important part. Or an important part, the most important one in this case was the admitting of feelings. Pandora nodded.
“Yeah! I just can’t believe it! It’s so awesome.” The blonde girl smiled. She smiled so hard, it had to hurt. “Enough about me, how is your- situation?” she asked him. In front of said situation. Evan felt blood rush to his face. He was blushing hard, and it was getting warm in the room. He noticed the other two boys had changed their expressions now.
“Your… situation? Do you fancy someone, Rosier?” Regulus asked. There was no denying it, Evan knew that, with all his blushing. He sighed heavily and dragged his gaze over to Regulus.
“None of your business.” Then he turned back to Pandora. “Actually, it’s great. I’ll let you know when it changes, yeah? For now, why don’t you go spend time with your girlfriend? Practice should be over now, right?” Eliana was on the Ravenclaw quidditch team. Evan knew that from Pandora, mostly. He didn’t often go to games, unless Barty was playing, or Pandora dragged him.
Pandora gasped. “You’re right. I’m going to go see her! See ya!” she was giggling in anticipation to seeing her girlfriend. Then she was gone. And left behind were a kind of grumpy Regulus and Barty.
“I can’t believe she finally told Eliana.” Was what Barty said.
“I can’t believe she wanted to tell Rosier before us.” Regulus followed. At this statement, Evan was confused. Why wouldn’t Pandora tell him first? She was his sister after all. His twin sister. He rolled his eyes. If Black wanted to be a prick, he could do so. No problem with Evan.
He waved his wand and muttered an incantation. See it as a sort of payback. “What did you do?” Regulus asked him. Clearly, he was concerned about his health, as he had been jinxed.
“Nothing.” Regulus tried- and failed- to take a threatening step towards Evan. His shoes were stuck on the floor. Evan bit his lower lip to stop himself from laughing. Barty looked to be in the same predicament. Only, he couldn’t control himself as good as Evan could. The boy burst out laughing at his friend. Regulus glared at him. But, oh, that laugh. It was heavenly. If this was the only sound Evan would hear for eternity, he wouldn’t complain.
“Unstick me. Now.” The black-haired boy demanded. He looked proper angry now.
“Sure.” Evan said nonchalantly.
“Really?” Regulus looked surprised.
“If you get rid of the pink.” Regulus’s eyes narrowed. Then he reached for his wand and said a spell that Evan knew from Transfiguration. They had used such an easy spell on him? Really? When he felt the tingle on his head again, he too reversed his jinx. Regulus almost tripped from being freed so suddenly. Apparently, he had kept trying to break the curse and was caught off guard. Then he stormed out of the room.
Evan let his gaze drift over to Barty. The boy looked perfect, as always. He was looking at the door, the spot where Regulus had just disappeared to. Then he looked at Evan, blinked twice when he saw Evan already looking at him.
“Hey.”, he said. Evan walked over to Barty’s bed, where he was already sitting. Then he sat down next to him.
“Hey.” Evan said smiling, softly. Oh, so softly. The way he was gone for Barty was truly embarrassing. Or it would be if the boy wasn’t just as gone for Evan. A silence stretched over the next few minutes.
“So… you fancy someone?” the other boy asked, hopefully, scared. Hopeful for his feelings to be returned. Scared that that wasn’t the case and the boys he loved was in love with someone else. Evan nodded and hummed. “Who is it?”
“Well, if I tell you that, you have to tell me who you’re in love with.” It was a game to Evan now. How could he bring Barty to make the first move? How could he make the boy in front of him kiss him in the best way possible. Not by telling him right away, that much was obvious. Depraving him of the thing he wanted most in the world should work out fine, right? Just for a couple of minutes. If he hadn’t done anything by then, Evan would have to take the lead.
“Oh, I think you know that already.” Barty was smirking now. Did he want Evan to make the first move? Or was he just hiding behind he nervosity and fear? Most likely a mix of both. Evan could string him along a little bit more.
“Is it… Regulus? You spend so much time together…” Barty knew he was playing dumb, that much Evan could read from his face.
“Not my type.”
Evan let out a small breathy laugh. “Right. Your type. Blonde, blue eyes, tall…” He pretended to think more. “Prettier than you. So, you fancy Pettigrew? Didn’t know you were into Gryffindors.” With every word he said, he got closer to the other boy’s face, up until their lips were almost touching and Evan was sure Barty could feel his breath. He noticed Barty’s breathing was shallowing. Then he backed away again.
“Fuck you, Rosier.” Barty whispered. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.
“No thank you, I’m not into that kind of thing.” Evan smiled. Barty huffed. “I mean, the boy is cute and all that, but not so much my type. I prefer people who don’t look like they could be my sibling.” Now Barty leaned in. Evan’s heart skipped a beat. Oh?
“What is your type then, huh?” Barty laughed slightly and licked his lips. Evan’s eyes followed the movement. He kept his eyes trained there.
“I think you know.” Then, he leaned in and kissed him. Someone had to take the first step. And if it wasn’t going to be Barty, well then Evan had to do something. Barty kissed back immediately. It was everything he had expected, and more. It was so much better than he could have ever imagined. His stomach erupted into butterflies; his heart was beating frantically. He was sure Barty could feel it. He felt a warm hand running through his hair. Lovely. Kissing Barty was lovely. But Evan had always known that, even without practical experience. At parties, when he watched the boy kiss other girls, or guys even, and wished he was in their place instead. Back when he was still living in denial. Or fear.
He felt drunk, and at the same time he felt like he was drowning. Drowning in happiness. Not getting any air. He pulled away and took a deep breath. He admired the boy in front of him, the boy who was now running his hand through his own hair again, a sign of nervosity, but good nervosity. He was sure the smile on his face mirrored the almost manic grin on Barty’s face. He was sure his cheeks were just as red, and his eyes just as bright. He was only seconds away from giggling and twirling his hair. If he had been lying on his stomach, he might have kicked his feet too, just like a silly little schoolgirl with a silly little schoolgirl crush. Which is what he was, probably.
“I love you.” Smiling. Breathing. This was all Evan ever wanted. And now, he finally had it. He would not let it go any time soon.
“I love you more.”