My Father's Son
When you are strange
Faces come out of the rain
No one remembers your name
When you are strange
As the last vestiges of Arcturus’ struggle subsided, he found himself whisked away onto the Hogwarts Express by two boys who looked almost identical. They both looked much taller than Arcturus and with that flaming red hair, soft freckles and the dark grey mock turtleneck sweaters that they were wearing, it was hard to tell them apart.
The one who was holding Arcturus’ small trunk spoke first. “Alright mate?” his voice carried a warm concern.
Arcturus nodded with a rather wary look on his face, his heart still pounding in his chest. “Thanks lads.”
“I’m George by the way. George Weasley.” Said the same boy, a playful glint in his eyes.
Arcturus snatched his trunk back, it was a burnt, dusty old thing with black spots on one side, he’d picked it up from a shop in Diagon Alley at the very last minute, cheapest one they had.
The other twin grinned. “And I’m Fred Weasley.”
Arcturus arched an eyebrow. “Your parents had the chance of naming you Forge and said no to it?” A lopsided grin spreading across his face. The boys’ face lit up. Fred slapped his arm.
“That’s what we said.” The twins spoke in a perfect sync.
“Gred and Forge. Perfect, innit?” Fred beamed at the younger lad.
Arcturus threw his free hand, exaggerating his tone to cover up the crippling anxiety that was gnawing at him the more they stood there. “Truly genius. I see the future of wizarding kind is definitely in good hands.” he drawled, sarcasm lacing his dramatic demeanor.
George scoffed. “So why was Lucius Malfoy after you?”
Arcturus glanced between them and shrugged. “I dunno. He hates me.” He wished he knew why. He wished he had at least one piece of the puzzle to help him understand. “I’m Black, Arcturus Black.”
The twins no longer had their grins on their faces upon hearing his name. More and more students were getting on the train and they were still standing in the narrow walkway. Arcturus was occasionally glancing over the boys’ shoulders, bracing himself for the worst-case scenario. Fred and George exchanged a look before their eyes fixated on Arcturus again.
“If Malfoy hates you, then you can’t be that bad.” Fred earned himself a nudge in the ribs by the other twin for saying that.
Arcturus raised his brows in amusement of their reactions. Was this supposed to make him feel better? Well, if anything, it didn’t make him feel worse either. George snatched his trunk back and gave him a gentle slap on the shoulder. “Come on then, let’s find you a place, Black” The three of them walked off towards one of the compartments near the end of the train. The implication of finding him a place among them sounded reassuring. Arcturus thought that was the most welcoming thing anybody has ever told him.
With Fred and George leading him down the narrow corridor, Arcturus still felt somewhat out of place yet so firmly protected from any harm of the outside world brought upon him by Lucius Malfoy. He couldn’t even process anything that happened last night, it was all still too much for him. Crazy how things change over the course of a day. Last night, he'd spent the whole night yelling and crying in the dark cellar but now these boys felt like the pouring rain on a scorched desert.
They pushed past other students, the boys babbling about themselves, telling Arcturus about who they were, and all Arcturus did was remain silent and walk along with them until they reached a compartment in which there was only one boy.
The same dark-haired boy with a rather questionable fashion choice and round glasses, sitting by himself in the corner of the compartment with his trunk kept close to him in the corner. Years later Arcturus wondered if the Weasley twins did this on purpose.
Fred opened the door and walked inside first, George handed him his trunk and rubbed the nape of his neck.
"Right, this is, er—I'll let you two do the introductions yourselves" George said, flashing a playful grin and nodded to Fred, they both left shortly after a woman, apparently their mother, called out their names. Probably for the last-minute goodbyes.
Arcturus looked through the window and caught a glimpse of a lot of other students sobbing or hugging their parents as they said their goodbyes before getting on the train. ‘It’s not like they were going away forever, what’s the fuss about.’ Was the only response that this sight aroused in him. He couldn't picture himself doing the same so it was rather an odd sight.
He put his trunk under the seat and sat across the boy with the round glasses, the same boy he had seen before in Diagon Alley. He made a lazy attempt to fix his maroon cashmere cardigan that kept falling off his right shoulder.
“Hello,” He ran his fingers through his hair, ignoring the fact that a finger got stuck in his messy curl and tried to sound cheerful despite everything that happened a few minutes ago. “I’m Arcturus Black.”
“Harry Potter.” The boy smiled, reaching out a hand to shake his but Arcturus had gone pale, his mouth slightly agape and his lips quivered, he tried to speak but his voice came out rather squeaky for a second.
He cleared his throat and shook the boy’s hand. ‘Merlin’s Balls, that’s the boy everyone’s talking about. The one Lucius said stopped the Dark Lord...The one against whose family my dad fought in the war.’ He could swear Lucius Malfoy told the weirdest thing about the Potter boy a few nights ago but he failed to eavesdrop due to Dobby’s constant nervous whimpery interruptions and pulling him away before he got caught eavesdropping. Arcturus’ eyes unintentionally glanced at Harry’s scar on his forehead, the boy’s messy black hair wasn't exactly covering it. “Err—nice to meet you…Potter.” Arcturus stammered despite his previous attempt to appear composed.
To his surprise, the boy began speaking in a rather friendly way. "Are you excited about Hogwarts?" Harry said. "I didn't know anything about it until I got my letter, on my birthday."
"Must've been quite a birthday surprise then." Arcturus' face relaxed, but he still felt a pang of guilt laced with shame for even being near the other lad, for all he knew this boy lost his parents when he was a baby, just like Arcturus himself. Artie continued after a short silence between them.
"I didn't want to come to this school. Just running away from my family...well, my legal guardians. I'm technically an orphan. I don't know anything about my parents besides the fact that they both attended this school. Dad's in prison, and my mom, well she's gone. Didn't want me I suppose." He didn't know why he said any of that, maybe it was that tiny voice in the back of his head telling him to let the boy who lost everything because of the war, know Arcturus himself didn't have much in his life either, but even that felt awfully wrong and selfish to him as soon as he uttered the words. In the end he felt more pathetic for his monologue as he stared at the boy with the most gentle yet bright green eyes.
"I'm not sure if you already know, everybody seems to know me somehow, but I'm an orphan too. I live with my aunt and uncle. I don't know much about Hogwarts, but I'm sure it's much better than living with them." Harry stated, giving him a hopeful smile.
Arcturus could feel his chest tighten, his palms were getting sweaty and he'd rather look away than look at the boy's eyes and see any flicker of pain he must've been through all because of people like his father's actions.
He nodded and returned the smile. "Well, I'm sure Hogwarts is a much better place." He spoke with a slight stammer when he looked at Harry once more and raised the pitch of his voice with an exaggerated grin of excitement. "I heard the food is great."
‘Food? Really? Way to make yourself sound like an idiot.’ He chastised himself for not being able to say anything better.
Harry was still friendly though, as if he was a natural in managing awkward situations like this one. If it was Arcturus he would leave it at that but Harry went on and it made Arcturus feel a tiny bit of flutter in his stomach.
"I heard about Quidditch so far, and some of the courses, I didn't get to check out the books yet, my uncle had them locked away." Harry confessed.
The latter grinned. Harry Potter seemed friendlier than he expected, although he didn’t really know what to expect from the son of the ones his father fought against, but Harry didn’t feel like a stranger and somehow this felt just right.
"Don't worry, there will be loads like us who didn't—" Arcturus was interrupted when the compartment door opened and they both jolted their heads towards the door at the same time.
A red-haired boy, slightly shorter than the twins whom Arcturus met earlier, with a dirty nose and a more questionable choice of clothing stood inside the door frame and asked if he could join them, because apparently all the other compartments were full. Arcturus immediately knew he was a Weasley even before the boy introduced himself while getting inside their compartment, Lucius used to say they have more kids than they can afford.
The boy sat down and had a stupid grin on his face when he was talking to Harry. Harry was nice to him though, Arcturus assumed Harry must be a nice person in general. But he wasn’t quite over the boy’s rude intrusion, not when he was just getting to know Harry Potter and was beginning to feel at ease in his presence.
He heard Ron asking Harry if he was really Harry Potter. ‘What kind of dumb question is that? At least his older brothers didn't sound as thick headed as this one. No wonder why Lucius despises them.’ Arcturus took a deep breath. Right when he was feeling a bit more in control and wanted to partake in the conversation, Ron asked about Harry's scar and You-Know-Who. ‘That's it, obviously the Weasley boy knows everything, he probably knows my father and the fact that they were enemies during the war.’
He was getting nervous, trying to avoid looking at them, pretending to be cleaning the end of his left sleeve. What if this boy knew who Arcturus was? What if he was going to tell Harry about him? ‘Great. Here goes another possibly good thing in my life that gets ruined within seconds.’ He thought to himself. Despite he himself not knowing much about anything that happened a decade ago —because all anyone in his family had ever told him was evidently contradictory— he knew enough to assume Harry Potter wouldn’t want to be friends with the son of his parents’ enemy.
Soon the twins were back. They told Ron about wanting to see a giant tarantula. ‘A giant tarantula? Did they mean an acromantula?’ Arcturus thought about asking to join them, but he lost his chance while debating if it was a good idea —since he wasn’t really fond of beasts which had more than two eyes—the twins were gone once again.
“Someone’s bringing a giant tarantula to school? What’s next? A bloody Rat?” Arcturus scoffed, trying to fit himself into the conversation but he didn’t get the reaction he’d expected.
The boy sitting now next Harry tensed up. “What’s wrong with that? I have a rat, my brother’s pet. He gave it to me as a gift.” Ron spoke with a rather defensive tone, his nose pointed at the ceiling.
It took Arcturus a moment to process what he’d just heard. He had so many questions now. ‘Who the hell gives their pet to someone else as a gift? And what type of fool brings a rat to a school?’ He didn’t ask his questions out loud though, he’d rather just believe as Lucius says the Weasleys are just weird, which was a much nicer word than what Lucius actually calls them.
“His name is Scabbers. And you are?” Ron raised an eyebrow holding the hideous rat in his hand. Although Arcturus managed to hold in his thoughts, he’d failed to conceal his nose from scrunching in disgust when he saw the rat.
"Arcturus Black." He responded in a flat tone, giving Ron a slightly mean look, the rat immediately ran back into the comfort of his owner’s pocket, becoming a mere lump against the Weasley boy’s chest.
Ron looked rather startled, it was all over his now pale face, made him look like someone had hexed him. This proved to Arcturus that this guy probably knew everything. When Ron opened his mouth Arcturus couldn't handle his nerves any longer, he didn't want to be there for the possibility of Ron mentioning anything related to his father. He could feel himself getting more anxious with each passing second. He was trying to seem unbothered and to look at anything mildly interesting inside the tiny compartment, except at Ron and Harry and he was failing to conceal his anxiety.
"Are all your family wizards? Like you and your brothers?" Harry asked Ron, with excitement in his tone. Arcturus wondered if Harry could sense his discomfort, he hoped it wasn't that visible but he was sure he looked like a radish in that moment, feeling hot all over.
"Yes, but my second cousin who's an accountant…he is a... squib... non magical." Ron responded glancing between Arcturus and Harry and finished in a whispered tone as if he was telling the most embarrassing secret in the world. "We don't talk about him though."
Arcturus' jaw clenched as well as his left fist that was grabbing the end of his sleeve now. He shot a glare at Ron, this rubbed him in the wrong way. ‘He definitely said that because he knows something, he is mocking me.’ It took everything in him not to get up and punch Ron in the face for making him feel like the way the Malfoys and his entire family did his whole life. Something shameful, lesser, unworthy of having the gift of magic, a filthy squib, something not to be talked about.
This was it, this was his moment to leave. His mind was racing with possible excuses to get himself out of there. He looked around nervously knowing if he stayed, he would definitely get himself in trouble for punching that Weasley boy. And this would definitely give Harry the wrong ideas about him. He finally decided he should seize the moment before he misses this one too. He was now regretting not leaving with the twins a while ago, even though seeing a giant tarantula wasn't exactly going to be a pleasant sight to him it would be better than being stuck with this boy and his ugly rat.
He reached for his dusty maroon trunk and grabbed his robes out of it. "Right. I'm going to go change into my robes. Better sooner than later." He said, pushing the trunk under the seat quickly as if trying to hide it from their eyes. It was embarrassing enough to hold it earlier and he didn’t want people think of him as what he was; a charity case with clothes that never fit and undesirable enough to never fit anywhere.
He never felt this awkward and anxious before. Harry nodded and watched him leave.
He changed into his robes and they didn't really fit. Madam Malkin didn't have anything his exact size due to his last-minute visit to the shop. At this point Arcturus felt like it was never the clothes fault, it was him who was not meant for them. Just like everything else in his life, like being a wizard, which he still wasn’t convinced he was one, or going to Hogwarts.
He didn't really want to get back to the compartment, he didn't want to think about what that Weasley could possibly tell Harry, how much does he know anyway? Probably more than Arcturus ever did. He hadn't really thought about what people at Hogwarts know, about the war, about him? Does anyone even know he existed? His whole life he was hidden away from this community with little to no knowledge of the public's thoughts about major events. Now, everything felt more complicated than he imagined. At least in the muggle world he was just used by the Malfoys for money laundering by being their charity case.
He walked down the narrow walkway in the train, while he was in his own thoughts wondering about this newly found fear of the unknown, the compartments were filled with students laughing, blabbering and some students performing magic inside the train.
The scenery was beautiful outside the window, they were out of London by now, a place Arcturus had never seen before, this was a world he never thought he would ever get to see. He wanted to feel more appreciative of this newly found freedom of his, but the idea seemed so cruel, to be glad you are not killed at eleven was as nasty as the idea of being killed. He scoffed bitterly, his mind was desperately trying to find a reason why they wanted him dead. He looked away from the window with a sharp exhale, a voice calling his name had brought him out of his thoughts. Arcturus stopped in his tracks and turned his head around. It was Draco, standing in the doorway of the compartment, already having his robes on, with a smug smile on his face, he looked dashing even in Hogwarts uniform.
"I was beginning to wonder if you've even made it to the train." Draco grinned slyly.
Arcturus scoffed and turned his head away. "Almost didn't. Thanks to your father." He said darkly, now shifting his gaze back onto Draco.
"Why?" Draco raised an eyebrow, he was still strangely clueless. Or was he? What if Draco was in on this? What if Draco upon finding out the truth about last night's events, was going to side with his father? Yeah, that's more like it. Arcturus reasoned with himself, shrugging instead of giving Draco any answers.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Come inside, there's room in our compartment."
Arcturus looked over at Draco's shoulder, caught sight of Crabbe and Goyle and shook his head. He'd rather sit in dirt than with these two. His silence must've frustrated Draco because Arcturus was never this quiet with him, unless when he was being punished, which in that case, staying silent was not up to him as it was brought upon him by a silencing charm.
"Alright then, I'm going back inside. You had something to eat?" Draco asked.
Arcturus shook his head again, now looking away. He couldn't calm his nerves enough to be able to talk to Draco as if nothing ever happened since last night up until when he got here.
"Here." Draco handed him a few silver Sickles. Ten to be exact. "You're out already, can you find the cart? Get us some candies, I wanted some Mars Bars, but I suppose you didn't bring any, seeing how you left so urgently this morning."
‘Left urgently? Yeah, if you could call escaping my death that.’ Arcturus thought. He scoffed, finding Draco's cluelessness a fake desperate act of messing with his head and trying to get him to rise up to the bait. Although he never had this type of moment with Draco before, but his paranoia was getting out of hand, almost like a deadly disease creeping inside him, taking over him in a really fast speed.
By the time he was a few coaches away, he heard an old lady shouting in a very happy tone, 'Anything from the carts, dear?' Arcturus caught up to her, around the same time Harry had come out to buy sweets, and to Arcturus' amazement Harry was buying almost everything. He smiled softly watching the scene unfold, the excitement in Harry's eyes as he was looking through all the candies was pretty amusing to him.
“There you are. Right on time. I'm trying all of these for the first time." Harry said.
There was something about Harry's demeanor that made Arcturus smile unknowingly, the exact same way he used to whenever he and Draco were doing something they weren't supposed to do back home, like chasing after the peacock, playing mind games with the portraits to make them think the world outside was the actual portrait and not the world inside of the framed pictures. It was usually something they both had to plan for beforehand and the only highlight of their days.
By the time Arcturus came back from giving Draco the snacks he'd bought with ten Sickles, he saw Ron Weasley sitting in his spot. He stared at him for long enough to make Ron feel uncomfortable and then sat next to Harry.
"Where are all the sweets you just bought?" Harry asked, munching on a Bertie Bott's bean.
Arcturus glanced down at the space between them filled with sweets and shrugged. "They weren't for me. I have a Mars Bar though."
He remembered he was saving it for Draco but after their interaction he wasn't sure if he wanted to share anything with him at all.
"Can I have a Mars Bar? I actually wanted one but the lady didn't have any. You can take whatever you want too." Harry offered politely.
Arcturus smiled and pulled out the Mars Bar, which felt a bit melted inside the wrapper. He gave it to Harry and opened his mouth to speak as he was looking down at the sweets but something made his skin crawl. It was Ron Weasley, chewing loudly on a liquorice wand. His right eye twitched slightly with contempt to the sound. He took a deep breath again and decided he didn't want anything Ron was having, so he reached out for a Chocolate Frog, strangely the card had Agrippa on it. Harry's had Dumbledore. He immediately grabbed the frog before it made an attempt to run away and bit its head off.
"Who did you get?" Ron asked with a full mouth.
"Agrippa." Arcturus responded looking at the man with short beard and a book he was holding, the book he'd wrote before his imprisonment.
"I got Albus Dumbledore." Harry said amazed. His frog had gotten away already.
Ron immediately shifted his body forward to see Arcturus' card for himself. "Woah, you got Agrippa, He's the only one I'm missing from my collection."
He sounded awfully excited which made Arcturus almost laugh but thought if he gives Ron the card maybe this way, he could get Ron to stay silent about whatever he knows about Arcturus that he himself doesn’t know yet. "You want it Weasley?" Arcturus grinned slyly, waving the card against the boy’s face.
"Merlin's beard, will you give it to me?" Ron looked extremely happy, it made him look like a puppy waiting for a treat.
Arcturus offered him the card and Ron took it almost immediately. "Sure Weasley. I would love for you to have it. We shall call it a token of friendship." He smiled broadly, faking a friendly tone. The uncharacteristic demeanor made even himself uncomfortable.
“He’s gone.” Harry seemed rather shocked staring at his card and looking at Ron and Arcturus with a confused look.
“Well, you can’t expect him to hang around all day, he’ll be back.” Ron waved a dismissive hand, busy staring at Agrippa.
Arcturus cleared his throat. “They move all the time. It’s a way of communication if you ask me.”
“No, it’s not.” Ron drawled with a frown.
Arcturus immediately tensed up at his tone. “Yes, it is. The portraits move from place to place and through chocolate frogs they can be everywhere all at once. Why do you think Albus Dumbledore cares so much about being on the cards?”
The two spent the next half hour arguing about this theory, neither willing to give up, but when they noticed how Harry felt left out and quite lost, not understanding a word they were saying they kind of stopped for a moment but that was before a boy named Neville Longbottom came looking for his toad and Arcturus had said “That one looked miserable. No wonder why toads are out of style. Toad’s Toxins. Crap for a wizard’s magic.” And that started a whole argument again between Arcturus and Ron about toads. It seemed like they both had a passion for proving the other one wrong.
Although Arcturus wanted to remain a nice guy and not damage his image in Harry’s eyes, Ron’s stubbornness and arrogance towards Arcturus’ way of wording was making him livid.
After a few moments when the argument shifted from toads to Quidditch, Arcturus felt less guilty because at least Harry could get involved in it. Not that Harry knew much about it but at least this way both Arcturus and Ron were on the same page about one thing; Chudley Cannons rock.
They went on explaining everything about Quidditch, drowning Harry in their excitement, interrupting each other to add what to them seemed like a vital information. Their moment of bonding over Quidditch was soon interrupted again by someone opening the door abruptly which made a loud noise causing Arcturus to flinch ever slightly in his seat.
“Artie, what are you doing here? Were you here this whole time?” It was Draco who asked that. He looked rather appalled than surprised.
“What are you doing here?” He replied flatly, crossing his arms.
“Came to see if the rumors are true. They are saying Harry Potter’s in this compartment.” Draco shifted his gaze onto Harry who was looking at Draco and the two boys behind him; Crabbe and Goyle. Oh, how Arcturus hated these two boys, they would often say things so below any individual’s intelligence that Arcturus wished he could turn into a microscopic organism and start evolution all over again just to eliminate these two’s genes.
Arcturus hesitated for a moment but the deafening silence was increasing the awkwardness in the small compartment. “Right, this is err… my cousin. S-second cousin to be exact, Draco Malfoy, I live with them and…”
Arcturus could tell from the way Ron suppressed a snigger with a cough at Draco’s name and Draco’s nasty words about Ron’s family that things were not going to go well from here, but what made it worse was that he’d made the mistake of making if known they were related. Arcturus wished Draco would stop right there but he knew his friendship with Harry is now ruined when Draco offered Harry to help him not go making friends with the wrong sort and how some wizarding families were better than others.
His mind was racing at this point trying to find a way to fix this situation that was getting out of hand but what Draco said next was the final nail on the coffin. He knew in that exact moment he had lost a possible friendship with Harry Potter.
“Unless you’re a bit politer you’ll go the same way as your parents. They didn’t know what was good for them, either. You hang around riff-raff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid and it’ll rub off on you.” He said with his nose scrunched in disgust when he glanced at Ron and his rat.
Arcturus, Harry and Ron almost got up at the same time from their seats. Arcturus was not going to let Draco ruin whatever he was trying to build with the son of their fathers’ enemy. He stood between Draco and Harry, trying to get Draco to back off when surprisingly after Draco’s insult to Harry’s parents, Ron’s rat who was asleep this whole time attacked Goyle.
Upon hearing Goyle’s yelp, Arcturus didn’t know how to contain his laughter so he turned it into look of disappointment with furrowed brows and squeaked. “Let’s get out Draco.” He cried, dragging Draco out of the compartment and took him as far from there as he could.
“Help Harry Potter not make friends with the wrong sort? And why would you want to do that?” Arcturus’ tone was laced with a hint of frustration he was trying to suppress, and when Draco finally yanked his arm away from Arcturus’ iron grip, they found themselves standing in front of each other with Crabbe and Goyle next to them.
Draco waved a dismissive hand at Crabbe and Goyle and the two left them to get back to their compartment. “What’s wrong with that? I was just trying to be friendly.” A lopsided grin spread across Draco’s face.
“Friendly.” Arcturus scoffed. “Why would you do that, hm? Isn’t Potter the one defeating everybody’s beloved Dark Lord?”
Draco stared at him for the longest time, smirking at Arcturus’ naivety. He took a step closer, closing the gap between them in the narrow pathway. “Exactly, Artie. Do you know what that means for us?” Draco whispered. Something about his tone and smirk made Arcturus feel uneasy.
Arcturus’ silence made Draco sigh; he was seemingly annoyed at his lack of reaction. “He could be the next Dark Lord of our time. Or that’s what I’ve been told by my father.”
The latter’s whole body tensed up, he stared at Draco with wide eyes and his mouth fell agape, all he could utter was a quiet ‘no’ in disbelief as he shook his head. A million thoughts ran through his head all in a matter of few seconds, and the first one was his father who was in prison. A new Dark Lord meant war and war meant more people losing their parents and ending up like him or Harry himself. Arcturus was sure there would be a war and now he knew what to do, it came to him so naturally it felt like an instinct; Prevent Harry Potter from becoming a Dark Lord at all cost and don’t become anything like your father.
(Song: People Are Strange – The Doors)