The letter
The dawn light filtered through the high windows of the great hall, casting a warm glow on the long tables filled with breakfast food. The usual hum of morning chatter filling the hall, punctuated by the clatter of dishes and fluttering of owls. Many first years anxious of their first day of term, while the seventh years sat further back all sitting quietly, taking in their last few meals with their friends.
Sirius picked at his food, moving it around his plate in circles as his chin rested on his palm. The sunlight casting a streak along his face, the warmth soothing him into a sleepy daze. James huddled in his quidditch planning papers, hunched over as he scribbled down his notes. Lily and Clem talking softly, sipping at their drinks, smiles playing at their faces. Remus found a seat next to Clem, his eyes still dark and faraway, his face sunken and exhausted, his limp still present along with a cane at his side to help ease the pain. He placed a soft hand on her knee as she spoke to Lily, her head moving to his eyes.
“Morning,” she whispered, giving a tired smile, pouring him a cup of hot water and placing a tea bag in it.
“Morning,” he replied, his smile thankful as he watched her.
James folded up his papers, shoving them into his bag. “Alright, let’s see if we can all make it though today in one piece.”
Lily sipped her coffee, “Wouldn’t bet on it,” she sighed into her mug.
“Can we please just lay low, for once, we have enough going on.” Remus spoke, his voice huskl, his posture sagging.
Clem watched him closely, analyzing his movement, concern etched onto her face. She placed her hand ontop of his underneath the table.
“You feeling any better?”
“A little, just want to get through today,” he offered a tired smile
An owl swooped down and dropped a letter in front of Clem, interrupting any conversation from the group. Their faces growing in concern as she reached to open the letter. McGonagall getting up from her seat at the front of the hall, hastily making her way over to them, careful to not cause too much alarm.
“Let me open it dear,” She spoke quickly, her gloved hands reaching for her wand as she held the letter in the air.
The students watched quietly as she spun the envelope around, analyzing the parchment in it, her eyes scanning the words scribbled on the page. Clem’s heart pounded as she watched McGonagall analyze the letter, her wand gently prodding at the parchment. McGonagall sighed softly, folding the parchment as she steaded herself.
“Clem, dear, it’s from your family. It seems there’s troubling news.”
Clem felt a wave of nausea wash over her as she stood, her legs trembling slightly as she followed McGonagall out of the hall, the others quick to follow. Her friends exchanging worried glances leaving their breakfast behind them. They walked in a tense silence, the echo of their footsteps the only sound as they made their way through the corridors of Hogwarts.
McGonagall led them to her office, the walls lined with books and magical artifacts that seemed to vibrate with the gravity of the moment. She closed the door behind them, ensuring their privacy. Clem’s anxiety mounted with every passing second.
“Please, sit down,” McGonagall gestured, her voice soft and calm
Clem sank into the chair, Remus standing behind her, his arms resting on the back of her chair. Her friends gathering around her in a protective semicircle. She took a deep breath, her usual stern demeanor and tightened face softened by the compassion in her eyes.
“I’m sorry Ms.Bones, I’m afraid it’s not good news. Your mother… she was murdered last night. Death Eaters targeted half-blood couples.”
Clem’s world tilted on its axis. She felt as if the floor had dropped out from under her. Her breath caught in her throat, and for a moment she felt as if she couldn’t speak. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she gripped the arms of the chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white.
“No,” she whispered, her throat tightening as her heart dug itself further into her stomach. “It’s not… possible. She’s been hiding for years,”
Lily let out a small gasp, covering her mouth as she fought her own tears. She tried her best to composer herself before kneeling down beside her, placing her hands on her knees.
“Clem…” she paused, her eyes flicking to the ceiling fighting back tears, “I’m so sorry,”
Clem stifled a cry, her body shaking as she covered her face, Lily threw her arms around the girl allowing her body to melt into her own. Clem melted out of the chair, sinking further into Lily’s arms. Her sobs only growing more profound, Lily shot a glance to James, Sirius and Remus who had grown pale, their faces etched in worry and sorrow. They were stunned into silence, James sat down near Lily, his gentle gentle on her shoulder.
“Clem…” he paused, the words escaping him,
“We will find the person who hurt her, and they’ll pay.” Sirius interrupted, his voice growing in hatred and anger.
Remus gave Lily a knowing glance, nodded slightly, his arms opening for Clem who was passed onto him. Lily leaning to James, her own tears now spilling over, covering her mouth to muffle her own cries as James comforted her to the best of his abilities. Remus pressed a kiss on her head, holding her tightly. She pressed her weight into him more, Remus closing his eyes trying to ignore the pulsing of pain in his chest.
“I’m so sorry, Love.” he spoke into her hair, smoothing it down calmly. She took a deep breath, her breath hitching as she collected herself.
Her eyes fixing of McGonagall, her eyes red and puffy. “Who did it.” her voice flat and emotionless.
She cleared her throat softly, trying to maintain her own composure. “I’m afraid we don’t know,”
“No,” Clem sat up slowly, propping herself up on her wrist, Remus supporting her softly. “Who sent the letter.”
McGonagall’s hand shook slightly as she flipped the envelope carefully to read the address.
“It doesn’t say,” she lied. McGonagall’s words echoed in her mind, the harsh reality settling in deeper with each passing moment back to her office. The question burning deeper into her.
“Who sent the letter.” Clem’s voice unfaultering
“The address wasn’t disclosed.”
Clem’s jaw tightened, her gaze unwavering as she pressed for more information. The anger in her face becoming more prominent. “Show me the envelope.”
McGonagall’s hand shook slightly as she dug the envelope out of her desk drawer, slipping it over to Clem. She inspected it carefully, no return address, no marks. She clenched her fists in frustration, a surge of anger mixing with her grief.
“You’re lying.” Sirius interjected.
McGonagall met his accusing gaze, her expression unreadable for a moment before she turned away, taking back the parchments and briskly throwing them into the fire.
“It’s not pertinent, Mr. Black.”
Sirius turned up his nose, shooting her a knowing glance before placing his focus back on Clem.
“You are all excused from classes today,” McGonagall continued, smoothing down her robes. “If you wish to go to classes I will not stop you, however you do have my approval to not attend today.” Her voice going back into it’s normal sharp tone.
“Thank you Professor,” Lily smiled sadly, her own eyes glossy.
Remus helped Clem up, leading her back up to the common room under the invisibility cloak while the others walked in a mournful silence. Clem leaned into his support, feeling the weight of grief and shock bearing down on her. His arm around her waist was a lifeline, grounding her amidst the turmoil. Remus glanced down at her, his own sorrow etched on his face, as he tried to remain strong in composure for her sake.
“I’m here, Love. Whatever you need.”
She nodded silently, focused on getting back into the common room before crumbling down into pieces again. Each step feeling heavier than the last as she climbed the never ending stairs. The reality of her mother’s murder weighing her down. Remus held her close, guiding her with a gentle reassurance as they navigated the halls in silence. Upon reaching the Gryffindor common room, the invisibility cloak draped around them dissolved into thin air, revealing them to the somber atmosphere within. The other Gryffindors sat in subdued clusters, their gazes flickering with concern as Remus guided Clem their usual spot around the fire.
He placed his cane propped on the side of the couch, before sinking into the large couch, pulling Clem in by the waist to him. She sunk into him further, burrowing herself into his chest as he played gently with her hair. Lily came over slowly, hers arms hugging herself.
“Can I get you two anything? Clem?”
Clem shook her head silently, not being able to speak or move her grief stricken body.
“Just some teas please, maybe a whiskey…” Remus spoke, his voice trailing off as he shot puppy eyes to Lily.
She sighed and nodded, coming back rather quick with one bottle of cheap whiskey and two hot teas. Placing them carefully on the table in front of them, finding herself a seat across to them, kicking her feet up on the table.
The room was quiet except for the soft crackling of the fire and occasional hushed whisper of the wind outside. Remus took a sip of the whiskey, the taste providing a small respite from the heaviness of the moment. Clem looking up slightly, her eyes motioning to the glass in his hand. He gave it to her slowly, watching as she took a long sip, her eyes closing as she revelled in the taste. She shot him a short smile before reaching to put it back on the table. Lily glanced up from her textbook, watching Clem intently.
“How are you feeling?” Lily asked carefully, the sun creating an orange hue in the room as it sunk further down. “You slept most of today, I got our notes and stuff…”
“Thank you,” Clem spoke, her voice raw and horace.
Remus gently squeezed her hand, her gaze still miles away. “Are you hungry? We could go to the hall, I’m sure it’s empty by now.”
Lily nodded empathetically, “None of us have eaten dinner, we’ve been waiting to see if you’d be awake.”
“I can try to eat something,” her voice shaky
Remus helped her to her feet, lacing his hand in hers as the three of them made their way to the Great Hall. The corridors empty, the usual hustle and bustle of Hogwarts subdued at the late hour. As they entered the hall, the tables were indeed vacant, only a few candles flickering to provide light. They found a spot at the far end of the Gryffindor table, where a house-elf appeared almost instantly with a tray of simple but comforting food. Clem looked at the spread, her appetite diminishing as she stared at the food in front of her.
“Try the soup,” Lily suggested gently, pushing the bowl towards Clem. “It’ll be the easier thing to get down.”
Clem nodded, picking up the spoon with a trembling hand. She took a small sip, the warmth soothing her raw throat. Remus and Lily watched with concern, their own plates untouched and growing cold as she took a few spoonfuls. Clem set the spoon down, her appetite gone despite her best efforts.
“I can’t” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes again.
“That’s okay,” Remus spoke softly, reaching out to hold her hand again. “Just take it slow, eat when you can.”
Clem nodded a flick of comfort amidst the overwhelming grief. She watched silently as the other two ate in silence, trying to finish quickly so they could get to bed. She was able to finish half of the bowl given to her after a while of mindlessly grazing her food. Remus gave her a small smile, squeezing her knee gently. Lily looked at the two of them, her eyes tired but heartfelt.
“I’ll see you two back in the common room,” Lily smiled softly pushing herself off the bench seating and towards the hallways.
“I would ask how you’re doing and feeling, but I know that’s a dumb question.” Remus spoke, trying to lighten the bogged down mood. A smile pricked on the corner of her mouth but fell quickly after. He crained his neck to meet her eyes, scanning them cautiously.
“Wanna smoke?” his smile mischievous.
“Merlin, yes.” She croaked, getting up slowly.
Remus chuckled softly as he stood up placing a hand on her lower back. They made their way out of the hall in silence, the quiet night air offering a brief reprieve from the suffocating weight of the day. The stars blinked overhead, the distance russell of the forest humming faintly in the background. He wrapped an arm around her, guiding her towards their usual spot where they could have a moment away from everything. They sat in the courtyard near the corner away from potential prying eyes. Remus fished for his pack in his robes, lit a cigarette, and passed it to Clem. She inhaled deeply, letting the smoke curl out of her mouth in slow, measured breaths. Remus lit one himself, leaning against the tree, his eyes reflecting the stars above them. She took another drag, her shoulders visibly relaxing.
“You don’t have to be this big, strong, person around me, you know,” Remus said quietly, breaking the silence.
His eyes traed her face, filled with concern, but also a guilt he couldn’t place. He wanted to be fully present and with her, but his mind kept drifting.
She exhaled deeply, the smoke twisting. “I know,” she said softly. “I just… don’t know what else to do. I can’t even think straight.”
Remus nodded slowly, his own emotions in a similar turmoil. Clem sighed softly, leaning her head on his shoulder.
“Thank you, for being with me. I think I’d be inconsolable if I didn’t have you around.” Her voice low and almost a whisper.
Remus shut his eyes, a pang of guilt in his chest, “I’ll always be here,” He replied, pressing a kiss to her temple.
Her hand rested on his, tracing patterns on his palm and wrist, her body relaxing as the sounds around them sung of peace and quiet.
The soft rustling of leaves and the distant call of an owl surrounded them, filling the comfortable silence that lingered on Clem’s words. Remus kept his gaze forward, the low lights around them reflecting in his weary eyes as he tried to focus on comforting her. The guilt only seemed to grow, nearly suffocating him. He leaned his head back on the tree, feeling the weight of everything settling deeper on his shoulders. Clem shifted slightly, her fingers tracing absent patterns on his wrists, keeping herself grounded in his presence.
“I don’t know how to process this,” she whispered, her voice threatening to break. “Everything is falling apart,”
Remus exhaled slowly, his heart aching for her. “You don’t have to process everything at once.” he said gently, turning his head slightly to press another kiss on the crown of her head, the smell of her shampoo making his heart ache more. “Just one day at a time, yeah? I’m with you for all of it.” squeezing her hand gently.
Clem nodded weakly against his shoulder, her grip tightening on his hand. She tilted her head up slightly to meet his eyes, a flicker of gratitude in her gaze despite the exhaustion.
"You’re too good to me," she murmured, her voice filled with sincerity. Remus smiled softly, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "You deserve it," he replied, his voice tender.