beginning of holiday
The sound of the snow crunching on someone’s shoes made Clem’s ears perk up. She had been staring out into the forest for who knows how long. She was no longer cold, her body had acclimated. Her face tight with dried tears, her nose stuffy. She had a feeling she’d catch a cold if she wasn’t careful. For all she knew she already had. A figure sat down on the snow covered grass next to her, their shoulders mear inches from touching.
“Are you not cold?” Remus asked quietly, bringing his body closer to his chest. She shook her head, still dissociating.
Her vision spaced out into the distance. Remus sighed softly, taking in the view and watching the snow fall.
“You’ve been out here for hours Clem, let’s go inside” He said, his voice growing horace.
She shook her head again, placing her chin on her knees.
“Clem, please. You’ll catch a cold.” He continued, worry growing into his voice.
He crained his head to look at her, her eyes still firmly locked to the things in front of her. She sniffled quietly, trying not to draw attention to the fact she was cold. They continued to sit in a comfortable silence for a while, she didn’t know how long. But Remus had been fighting the urge to close his eyes for quiet some time now.
“What can I do to convince you to come inside?” He asked, she shrugged. He sighed, turning his body to face her. “Clem please, can you at least look at me?” He asked softly, she closed her eyes in attempts to not start crying again.
She turned her head to look at him, her eyes bloodshot and slightly puffy. She quickly turned away, whipping away the tears that had began to form. Remus patiently waited for her to collect herself before tapping her shoulder, she looked at him again. He shot her a kind smile, scooching closer to her slowly. She watched his every move, each one carefully calculated to not alarm her. He opened his arms out and waited patiently, eventually she leaned into him, burying her head in his chest. He lightly wrapped his arms around her, leaning his head ontop of hers. She stifled a cry, trying not to start crying as hard as she had been earlier.
“I’m sorry he said those things to you.” He whispered, she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, gripping at his jacket as she let the tears run down her face. Crying softly. He tightened his grip on her slightly, his fingers traced along her shoulders.
“You’re freezing, we need to go inside.” He replied concerningly trying to get up. She shook her head burying herself deeper into him.
“I just need a few more minutes.” She said softly, her voice almost inaudible. He nodded and continued to engulf her cold body into his warm one. She melted into him, fitting almost perfectly. They stayed like this for a while, snow collecting in his hair. She took a deep breath before releasing her arms from his torso, standing up slowly and brushing off the snow. Remus watched her as she picked the snow out of her hair, admiring her. Even after the crying, her makeup was intact and barely smudged, her hair still styled.
“Can we smoke before going inside?” She asked quietly, as if nervous someone would overhear. He shook his head leading them inside.
“You were as cold as ice, you need warm tea. Not cigarettes.” She took an exaggerated sigh and nodded, following behind him.
“I suppose you’re right.” She smiled softly as they walked up to the common room.
James and Lily were passed out on the couch, leaning on each other. The fire crackling softly, barely lighting the room up. The smell of burning firewood overtaking the common room, Clem gave a soft smile admiring the pair cuddled on the couch. Remus peered over her shoulder, whispering in her ear.
“We shouldn’t wake them. James will freak.” His warm breath sending a shiver down her spine. She nodded grabbing a blanket from one of the many baskets around the room. She carefully placed it on the two of them, Lily slightly moving closer to James. Clem took a deep sigh, adding a log to the large brick fireplace and holding her hands out to warm them. She closed her eyes, taking in the warmth and enjoying the peaceful quiet room. After essentially defrosting she wrapped her arms around herself before slowly turning around. She peered around looking for Remus but he wasn’t in her immediate sight. She shrugged it off, assuming he had went to bed, she was slightly hurt, thinking that he would’ve stayed with her for a little at least.
She dragged her feet to the small kitchenett tucked away in the corner of the common room near the staircase. Opening open one of the dark wooden cabinets, she shuffled around for her mug. But it was nowhere to be seen.
“Where did it go?” She mumbled under her breath. She wanted her green mug, it was the only one she used. She didn’t like using the ones given to them, half the time they were never fully washed. She gave an exaggerated sigh giving up her search, she turns on her heels almost immediately running into Remus. He quickly held the mugs above his head in an attempt for them to not spill. He gave an awkward smile,
“Sorry.” He whispered, slowly lowering the mugs, handing her mug to her before dunking his tea bag a few times.
“I didn’t even see you, you’re so quiet.” She smiled, blowing on the steamy tea. He raised his eyebrows as he sipped his drink, leaning on the archway.
Clem hugged herself closer slowly drifting off to sleep in the red armchair. Remus glanced up at her quickly before going back to his book.
“If you’re tired Clem go to bed. You’ll be sore if you sleep there.” He said softly, she took a sigh before slowly standing up nodding. He took a bite of his chocolate giving a smile. She rubbed her eye with one hand and waved with the other groggily.
“Goodnight Clem,” He responded, his eyes growing more heavy as well. He adjusted himself in his sit and winced slightly. He rubbed his shoulder where the sharp pain had came from, closing his eyes in a relief. Clem stared at him, concern on her face.
“Are you okay?” He nodded.
“Just tweaked something is all. Go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.” He smiled softly, also slowly getting up.
He tried his best to hide the pain coursing through his body, the aches and pains hinting the full moon was soon. The full moon was a few days before Christmas, which was poor timing considering James wanted all of them to spend the holiday together. It would be hard to hide the pain from Clem, she could see right through it. Clem slowly walked up the spiral stairs, pausing right before the wall could block her view of the downstairs.
“Goodnight Remus.” She whispered, trying to not wake her friends on the couch. Remus smiled, his hand still on his shoulder. “Night”
The girls had been packing slowly over the last few days, Lily had been mostly packed with only the things needed for the morning left out. Clem the same, but a few books also shoved in her luggage. Mary and Marlene the opposite, ferociously throwing things in their bags the night before the train comes. Lily and Clem chuckled, watching from Lilys bed. The two of them sat crisscrossed on her four poster bed, smiling.
“You know, would’ve been easier if you had started when we did.” Clem teased, twirling a piece of her hair in between her fingers.
“Oh piss off.” Patricia teased back, sticking her tongue out from her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Lily laughed, her face lighting up the room.
“So, what are everyone plans?” Mary asked, folding a jumper into her suitcase.
“Me and Clem are going to James’ for the holiday, along with the rest of the boys.” Patricia tossed something into her dark tote, walking out of the bathroom.
“You’re joking.” She deadpanned, crossing her arms.
“They get to see you over the holiday but we don’t? That’s absolutely mad.”
The girls were all genuinely upset, they felt that they didn’t get to see the two of them as often. Always sneaking around with the marauders and doing activities with them more than their friends.
“It’s only Christmas Eve and New Years. The rest of the holiday we are with our own families. I’m sure we can all get together between them.” Clem added, her tone calm trying to de-escalate a possible argument.
A scoff came from Mary, or Marlene. Clem couldn’t tell.
“Unbelievable.” Marlene said, pushing her hair off her shoulder.
“I’m with Patricia. Are we all even friends anymore?” She laughed, with pain in her voice.
Clem hoped she was saying this as a joke, but part of her knew it had some truth to it.
“Marls… come on. I know we’ve all been busy but we are still your friends.” Lily smiled softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
She shrugged her off before turning to the door.
“It doesn’t feel like it, go to your new friends. Seems you fancy them more anyways” Marlene replied, gesturing towards the door.
Clem sighed, placing her hands on either of Marlene’s shoulders, looking at her friends in the process.
“What can we do to make you feel better?” She asked softly, a gentle smile tugging at her lips.
“Be our friends. Eat dinner with us, study with us, hang out with us.” Each ‘us’ having a stronger emphasis than the last as Mary continued to speak her feelings.
“Easy, how about we settle a few days over the holiday to have a girls weekend? and we all owl each other on christmas?” Lily smiled, her perfect angelic smile.
A small wave of peace went through the room. All of these girls had been thick as thieves since they came to Hogwarts. They understood why the others felt a level of threat to their friendship, they were scared to lose their friends to a bunch of boys. These girls had been through everything together, their first periods, first crushes, dances, long nights of advice, cry sessions, stressing for end of year exams. This was the first semester where they hadn’t all studied together, they hadn’t all stayed up late together, none of their usual rituals.
Lily opened up her arms to everyone, the girls all joining in for a large hug.
“I love you guys, you could never be replaced by those airheads” Lily’s voice slightly muffled as her cheeks were squished by the others. Giggles came from everyone, along with some sniffles of crying.
“Love you too Lils” the rest answered.
“Now finish packing so we can all go to sleep.” She beamed, clapping her hands together.
That night the girls had stayed up later than anticipated, all talking on what eachother had missed out on other the semester. Talking about how Patricia had a new crush she fancied, it was Clem, but she left that part out for obvious reasons. Mary and Marlene confessed that they they too had their eyes on someone. Each girl seemed to have their eyes on someone, whether they cared to admit it or not.
“Just admit it Lils, you like James! You’re a lot brighter around him!” Marlene teased, a giant smile on her face. Lily’s cheeks growing a brighter pinkish hue.
“No I do not! He is so annoying! He’s a child.” She argued, trying to hide the smile growing on her face. Clem patted her shoulder, giving an apologetic smile.
“Oh to live in ignoance and bliss.” She smiled, Lily rolled her eyes and shot her eyes to Patricia.
“Why aren’t we pressing Patricia about her new crush! I’m sure he’s way more interested.” Lily grinned.
Mary knew her secret, and shot her eyes to Patricia. Her red hair covering her face, hiding the fact her complexion almost matched her locks.
Patricia brushed her hair behind her hair and took a breath before speaking.
“She..” she replied softly, she wasn’t necessarily scared of a poor reaction. She knew they’d be supportive but still, it could be a shock.
Lily had a wide smile on her face, immediately jumping onto Patricia’s messy bed.
“What is her name, tell us everything!” She said excitedly, her eyes darted to Clem for a moment before looking away.
“I met her at Hogsmede, she doesn’t go to school here. She was visiting from Beauxbatons.” She said softly, twiddling with her fingers. Marlene smiled slightly, she was happy she had been able to pull a lie out so quickly. Though eventually the truth would come out.
“A french girl? That’s so hot.” Clem added, Patricia immediatly looking up at her slightly shocked. All the girls were.
“Guys I thought you all knew I liked girls and guys?” Clem said nonchalantly. Lily’s jaw dropped dramatically, along with most of the other’s.
“Sorry?!” Mary and Marlene screamed in unison, “Since when??”
Clem chuckled and shrugged, stretching on her bed.
“At one point me and Reg were talking about how he thought he may be gender-fluid. I found it attractive, then boom. Suddenly I liked boobs.” She teased, this was sort of true, but also just to pull on the girls legs. All of them began to laugh, enjoying their time together. This is what they missed, the lightheartedness of their friendship. In way a it was therapeutic for them, they had all needed this. A break. Even if they hadn’t realized it.
The final breakfast of term was always hit or miss. Either every student was there or no one was, usually in consequence of last minuet packing. This year the hall was full, echos of laughter and cheerful conversations. Even the professors had shown up all in unionson to share a meal with their students. This was one aspect of Hogwarts Clem loved, the professors loved and cared dearly for students. Most having an open door policy for when students needed it. The girls had sat in their usual spot, quietly sipping drinks as their bodies and minds were still waking up. They had stayed up quiet late the night before chatting and gossiping, Patricia even brought out a wine for the special occasion. Leading to a slight chat from Lily about alcohol in the dorm room but nothing they wouldn’t laugh about later on.
“All I’m saying Evans, is that you really should just…” James paused, popping an orange slice in his mouth. “Let it go.” He continued, chewing the orange. She turned her nose in disgust over him talking with food in his mouth.
She hit his head lightly with the newspaper in her hand.
“It’s just politics” Peter added, reaching for a second plate of food.
“It’s becoming a lot more than just politics.” Sirius responded quietly, the air becoming more nervous. He took a deep sigh before continuing.
“There’s a reason I’m staying with James. And it’s not just because of Bella and Sissy. Mum and Dad have been hosting more and more meetings, the topics get worse each time.” He continued, Remus gave him a soft look.
Earning an awkward and scared smile from Sirius.
“He’s right, even my parents are talking about it.” Mary added worrily, fiddling with the food on her plate.
“I’m glad mum doesn’t follow wizard politics. I think she’d be a mad woman by now. Probably would keep me here instead of letting me come home.” Clem sighed, taking a sip of her warm drink.
This earned a glace from Remus, he was always curious about her home life. Especially after the incident with Snape and Regulus. How similar were their lives?
“On that depressing note. James! When can we all come over?” Peter perked up, trying to change the mood to something less world ending.
Peter had always been the one to dance around subjects of life outside of their small bubble. Claimed he heard enough at home, or something of the sort. James tilted his head to the air, humming in response.
He looked at Lily, and swallowed his food before continuing.
“I think mum said whenever? For Christmas eve at least. I’ll send an owl or something to confirm.” He replied.
The group nodded and continued to enjoy their breakfast before Dumbledore’s speech.
The speech was more or less the same as every year, full of ‘safe travel,’ ‘be smart’, ‘don’t forget to open your books at least once’, staying on grounds blah blah blah. Clem nearly fell asleep during it. But one tone shift perked her back up. A heeded warning from the headmaster, that times were changing but Hogswarts wasn’t. He claimed that it woud continue to be a safe haven for students and that if things were hard students could come back early no questions asked. Sirius felt Dumbledores gaze during that part especially. Many whispers and murmurs followed his farewell to students.
“You’re all dismissed. Finish up and get packing. Train will be here in an hour or so.” The professor smiled kindly. The group finished their last few bites and walked in silence for a while.
Once they were back in the common room, Remus and Clem were the first ones down with their luggage waiting for the others. He sighed, rubbing his shoulder before rummaging in his bag for a piece of chocolate. Clem chuckled as he scarfed down half the bar, a soft moan coming from his mouth.
“You have quite a sweet tooth Remus.” She teased lightly. He only shrugged in response, his body crying out in pain. The full moon was tomorrow and his limbs felt as if they were going to rip off. They sat in a comfortable silence as they waited for the others. Clem reading and finishing up some homework given as extra credit. As time pasted the common room became more and more empty, students rushing to get down in time. Soon enough everyone, including Peter, were downstairs in time. Which was a slight shock to the boys, but they didn’t say anything on the subject.
After the long walk that felt longer than usual since it was so cold, the wind almost ripping through their clothes. They made it on the train, choosing two cars right next to each other. The girls giving a collective long sigh as they sat down on the worn down cloth seats, legs sprawled on the floor.
“How’s your mum Clem?” Mary asked politely, her eyes not shifting from the window as the train pushed away from the station.
“Better actually, wrote to me not too long ago. She found a spot for her new shop and invited everyone to dinner over the holiday if you guys wanted to stop by. Maybe tonight since I don’t live far from the station.” She smiled, Lily nodded vigorously.
A smile painting everyones face.
“Everyone… including the boys?” Lily smirked a sense of mischief in her voice. Clem rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.
“Dunno,” She replied coyly, “Sure Mum wouldn’t mind meeting the famous James Potter who I’ve told her is in love with you.” she teased, soft chuckles in response.
As the train continued on, one by one the girls fell asleep. Except Clem of course, she could never sleep on the train. She’d get sick, learned that the hard way. She quietly stood up, talking a long stretch before sneaking over next door. She knocked softly, the blinds moving ever so slightly. Her eyes met with one of Sirius’ who popped open the door for her.
“Sorry to bother you,” She said softly. James and Peter both asleep. Sirius waved his hand.
“Whats up?” He asked, Remus’ eyes following Clem's every nervous move.
She was fiddling with every stitch on her shirt.
“Well, the girls and I are having dinner at my place tonight. My mum extended and invite… If you boys wanted to stop by as well. I live near the station so it’s not too far.” She said, a slight tone of awkwardness in her voice.
She always hated inviting people places, it was easier when they already knew they’d be going and she didn’t have to say a word. Sirius shrugged.
“I’m sure we can stop by,” He smiled kindly. He looked at Remus who gave a familiar look that Clem didn’t quite understand.
“I can’t… Mum is expecting me.” Remus answers, his voice slightly cold. “Sorry,”
Clem didn’t believe that his apology was sincere at all, but she tried not to take it to heart. Sirius gripped Remus’ shoulder rubbing it harshly.
“Don’t be this was Moony, I’m sure she’d be okay if you were a few minuets late.” He teased, Remus shook his hand off and shot a warning glance.
Both of them getting the hint. She placed her hand on the handle, squeezing out.
“Just tell, or ask the others.. For me.” She smiled awkwardly. Sirius nodded, with an ‘of course’ expression before she shut their door cautiously.
The group chatted under a few umbrellas as they walked through the busy streets of London during the holiday. The streets were strung with lights and decor for the season, snow covering the sides of sidewalks, and hanging in the branches and stairs. Lily took a deep inhale, the crisp cold air swirling in her chest. The sun setting slowly in front of them, the rays beaming all around making the snow look as if it was glowing. The sky was painted with orange, pink, and yellow streaks. Remus had broken off from them as soon as the train came to a stop, darting home in an anxious fritz. Clem casually switched to walking next to Sirius and James who equally shared an umbrella.
“Is Remus okay?” She asked worryingly, her eyes filled with not only concern but slight pain from him declining in the way he did.
Both the boy's faces furrowed in the same way as if the question didn’t even need to be asked. Grins on their cold and red faces.
“Of course, he just really needed to see his mum.” James lied.
Clem could tell it was a lie but didn’t bother to push. They’d all be reunited soon on Christmas Eve anyways. The sounds of cars and trolleys soon grew quieter as they turned onto a residential street. Still in the city, with cityscapes less than a few kilometers from them but tucked away nonetheless. A park in front of the buildings. The buildings were tall, dark worn down brick, each home looking the same. Pushed together in a row, almost as a barricade, Clem smiled slightly, the comfort of familiarity taking over. She dug in the pocket for a house key as she walked up the small stone stairs to her door. The porch was filled with greenery and unused pots. A small welcome mat with a symbol most of her friends assumed was a muggle symbol. Before Clem could turn her key, a smaller woman opened the door, a wide contagious smile on her face. Dark curls tied up into a makeshift bun, a dark purple colored apron tied around her figure.
“Clementine! Welcome home darling!” The woman smiled, giving her a tight hug. Clem’s head rested on the top of her mothers as she smiled.
“Hi mum” Her voice as gentle as they had ever heard it.
Her mother quickly rubbed down her apron and looked at the large group of friends standing quietly behind Clem.
“You must be her friends she’s told me so much about!” She opened the door wider gesturing everyone to come in.
“Come in! I was just finishing up dinner.”
Clem showed them where to hang their coats and bags. Sirius and James realized how happy Clem was around her mother, it was heartwarming to them. As they all followed Clem into the small but large dining room they claimed their usual seating arrangements. There was a slightly old chandler hanging from the tall ceiling, perfectly centerred around their larger dining table that fit perfectly in the space. The home was open concept, large archways making the space feel large, two in the dining room, one leading to the kitchen and the other into the living room. You could see a larger red couch in the space with a television in the corner along with a record player on the opposite side. This caught Sirius’ attention who immediately got up to investigate, but Clem cleared her throat and threw a warning look to him.
“Later.” She mouthed quietly.
Many family photos covered the old walls of the room, parts that weren’t already covered by the large windows that peered out into the street. Happy photos of Clem and her parents, some moved and others didn’t. The ones that didn’t often had her father and Clem in them practicing a magic of somekind, reading, or taking photos in places muggles wouldn’t know about. Her mother tried her best to rummage in the kitchen quietly, not wanting to disturb her childs conversations with her friends.
Slipping on her old plaid oven mitts she carefully took out the pastry she had spent almost the entire day on. Throwing on some last minuet herbs and other garnishes before placing it on the hot plate in the middle of the table.
“Thanks Mum, looks amazing.” Clem smiled softly, Lily giving a similar look before serving her friends as well.
The boys looked at her mouth as well nodding. Peter took the first bite, his eyes widening.
“This is amazing!" He cheered, his mouth slightly full still.
“Thank you..” Her mom pausing, realizing she didn’t know their names.
James’ eyes widening before immediately introducing everyone.
“Thats Sirius, Peter, and I’m James. Remus couldn’t make it…” James smiled, his voice trailing off as he spoke on Remus.
“Sarah Bones, but you can just call me Sarah.” The woman smiled back, taking note on who everyone was. Her focus shifting onto the girls sitting across from the boys.
“Lovely to see you all again. Lily, Mary, Marlene, Patricia. Missed you all dearly.”
She continued before throwing her rag over her shoulder and turning back into the kitchen. Marlene pressed her fork into the pastry, poking it as she spoke.
“I missed your mum for multiple reasons. But this is definitely one of the biggest reasons.” Mary nodded, reaching for another serving.
“Your mum seems so kind,” Sirius added softly, taking small bites of the pastry.
He was never one for muggle food, but he didn’t mind this. Clem gave a soft thank you.
Sarah placed the meal on the table, multiple side dishes and one large piece of what looked to be ham. Dusting her hands off and she sat next to Clem.
“Now, dig in! Don’t be shy.” She smiled, before making a plate and handing it to Clem.
“Thank you Sarah,” The girls smiled, scooping their portions. The boys were in shock, so much food and all of it smelled amazing. Peter quickly made a plate and began to devour his food.
Once they finished Clem put on a Bowie album much to Sirius’ taste. All of them enjoying a light drink around the television. The boys loved spending time with Clem and her family, learning more insight on her life now than they had over the term. Sirius couldn’t help but think of Remus and how much he would enjoy this, wincing slightly knowing that Remus is in his personal hell at the moment. Around 9 o’clock a clock chimed softly, all of the women standing up in unison.
“Best we all get home to our own families,” Lily smiled kindly.
Sarah nodded and hugged the girls one by one as they headed out.
“Lovely to meet you all!” She smiled, looking at the boys. They all gave smiles back and politely thanked her for dinner.
“Oh, what the heck.” She teased, giving them all hugs as well. James loved it along with Peter. Sirius however was mixed on how he felt but was kind nonetheless. Clem walked them out, crossing her arms to keep her warm.
“Thanks for coming guys, safe travels. And James, owl me the details.” She said, she truly was glowing when she was happy at home. James nodded, giving a salute as he walked away with Sirius and Peter.
“Thank your mum for us again!” James yelled from down the street before apperating away. Earning a chuckle from her before closing the door and heading to bed to unpack and rest from the long day of travel.