The date was 26th March, James was brushing his teeth and was getting ready to go to bed.
The day after that was his birthday, and he would be lying if he were to say he wasn’t a bit excited. His friends were going to wake him up tomorrow morning by singing, he was going to spend the time before and during breakfast with his Gryffindor friends, and after that he was going to meet his lovely boyfriend Regulus. After that he was going to invite his Slytherin friends -Regulus and his friends, to the birthday party later that night.
This birthday party was going to be different though, he wasn’t going to get drunk and he would escape the party early to spend the night with Regulus on a date. They had been dating for a little over a month, and they had both been very excited during the planning of this special birthday date. It was going to be a date out on the fields next to the whomping willow, they were going to have a picnic, go stargazing, and pick flowers -if they could find any at that time of year, that is. they also had plans to go watch the glowing pixies next to the dark forest.
All in all, he was very excited for his birthday.
He put on his oversized striped pajamas and went to bed. He tossed and turned for about an hour until he finally fell asleep, dreaming of his and Regulus’ date the next day.
He woke up the next day in an unexpected way, no singing or even anyone waking him up. He looked over the clock to see that it had struck 8:0 only a couple minutes before. Sirius was running around the room looking for his tie, Remus was laying down on his bed with a muggle book in hand and Peter was also still asleep, his blanket and pillow thrown on the floor.
James frowned, he propped himself up on his elbows.
“Good morning sleeping beauty” Sirius joked, “I think you forgot to put an alarm yesterday”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“why- Did you want us to? You looked so peaceful and we just supposed you wanted to sleep in since you didn’t put an alarm. You never forget an alarm”
James frowned again, of course he didn’t set an alarm, why should he? They were supposed to wake him up by singing anyway. James thought that was a bit selfish, “supposed” was a selfish thought, of course he can't just expect them to do that, they probably had something else planned anyway.
He dragged himself out of bed and started putting on his clothes, he picked up his tie and started tying it around his neck. Sirius stood in the mirror, checking himself out.
“Sirius move! stop hogging the mirror!” he swatted Sirius' shoulder.
“It’s a very special day today, you know! Got to look good” he said, striking a few sarcastic and dramatic poses in front of the mirror, Remus did a catcalling whistle as a joke from the bed.
James hummed in response with a grin on his face, so they hadn’t forgotten it was his birthday.
James scolded himself again, of course they hadn’t forgotten your birthday you idiot, they’re your best friends, why would that thought even appear in your head?!
They walked down to breakfast like normal, James was excited for the owls, as he would get his birthday present from his parents then.
When he sat down his friends indulged in normal conversation. Sirius was turned towards Remus in an immediately deep conversation about why “dogs are better than cats”, Remus naturally disagreed. Peter was talking to Marlene about some new hot gossip about a couple of celebrities.
James frowned to himself in confusion, why was everyone acting so weird, he hadn’t even gotten a single happy birthday yet!
The letters finally arrived at that, though James didn’t get a present. At first he looked deeply disappointed, until he opened the letter he had gotten from his parents instead.
We’re sorry love but you can’t get your present today, Georgie had broken his little birdie foot -you know how dumb he can be sometimes- and your present is too heavy for the poor owl to carry during this poor state.
We promise we haven’t forgotten about your birthday dear! You will get your present either during summer break or when Georgie’s foot is better.
We wish you the best birthday ever, happy birthday!!
Love,
Mom and Dad <3
James smiled at that, immediately feeling better knowing that they hadn’t forgotten about his birthday.
That made him think, had his friends forgotten about his birthday? Or was this all just an elaborate plan leading up to something?
The meal appeared in front of him, he started taking big portions of porridge and two toasts, one with jam and one with marmalade. That had been his breakfast every morning since first year, he had never switched it up. The reason was because he never felt the need to switch it up, he was happy with what he had and couldn’t imagine taking something else.
He had expected his friends to sing to him during breakfast like they usually did, but they never did.
“Guys?” James asked, they turned their attention towards him.
“Yeah dear Prongsie?” Sirius joked.
“What are y’alls plans for today?”
Sirius lit up, “Why I’ll tell you dear Prongsie! Since it’s Hogsmeade weekend, me and Remus thought it’d be perfect to spend the day together there!-”
“What?” James asked, confused and slightly angry.
“We’re spending the day together, why?” Sirius said, also slightly angry at James’ reaction.
“So, I suppose I'm going with you guys?” James asked, confused and trying his best to understand.
“What- No! It’s a date, James, you’re not going with us, we aren’t attached to your hip James stop being so selfish, we’re dating and you’re just going to have to accept that” He said, now angry.
James felt like crying, they had forgotten about his birthday?
He turned towards Peter with the little hope he had left, “Peter what are your plans for today?” he asked.
“Idunno really, I need to stock up on candy so I suppose i'm going to Hogsmeade as well. Dorcas is going out and picking flowers and she asked me to go with her, she’s trying to charm Lily you know” he snorted.
James' stomach hit the floor, his jaw clenched and it took everything in his power not to start crying in front of everyone.
“Oh don’t look so sad James, you know Lily fancies Mary and she has been for a long time, don’t act so surprised” Remus said.
That was the final straw, he could feel the tears start filling up in his eyes and he hurried to stand up and head out of the door of the Great Hall. His friends probably looked at him with confusion as he left, he wouldn’t know as he didn’t bother to look back. He found one of the many “making out closets” and decided to sit down there, the astronomy tower would be too obvious and it would be too easy for someone to find him there.
The closet was small and almost pitch black, James finally let his tears fully fall down after a few seconds of complete silence. The collar of his shirt got wet rather quickly .
James forced himself to stop crying after a while, "stop being so goddamn selfish, you’re overreacting, if your friends were happier doing those plans then why would you stop them from doing that, would you rather see them unhappy? no, you would rather see them happy cause that makes you happy, so go out there and pretend for a little bit, dumb fuck." Was all he could think about.
He pulled the sleeves of his jumper over his hands and quickly dried his tears with them, also using a drying charm on his shirt and collar to dry up the last pieces of evidence. He decided to stay in the closet for a little longer so that no one could see on his red face that he had been crying.
He really hated crying, he felt so selfish and he hated the thought of being unhappy. Every second wasted in the closet made him feel worse, his friends were probably worried sick and here he was, doing nothing in a closet but hiding.
He eventually woke up, he hadn’t even realized that he had fallen asleep. He quickly reached for his wand and casted a time spell. Yellow bright numbers filled the air, lighting up the closet.
10:26
Well, shit.
He had been in the closet for about an hour, his friends had probably seen him on the map and had decided to leave him be. They knew it was for the best, they had probably seen him tear up and they knew how much he despised anyone seeing him cry, it always made him more stressed and it always made him cry more.
He exited the closet quickly, looking around to see that no one could see him leave the closet. He quickly made his way towards the Gryffindor dormitories. He shuffled quickly through the common room, and before he could ascend the stairs a voice called from behind,
“Hey James, are you alright?” Lily asked with a sympathetic frown, “I saw you exit in the middle of breakfast and I got kind of worried”
He put on one of his smiles, he was always good at faking his smiles. He always smiled brightly and they weren’t hard to fake, “I’m fine, just had some things to do, pranking business you know” he said with a wink and a grin, Lily rolled her eyes.
“I’m glad you’re okay though”
He gave her a smile before turning towards the stairs again, he opened the door to their dorm room and was greeted with the other three boys.
“What the fuck James! Where did you go, you can’t just leave us like that in the middle of breakfast for no reason. What were you even doing in a broom closet alone for like an hour??” he practically yelled.
James flinched slightly but didn’t let his smile falter, “I just kind of fell asleep, I was waiting for someone but they never showed up”
“You left us for a girl?! Oh my god, since when did dates become more important than friends James?” Sirius said in rage.
You’re one to speak, forgetting your mates birthday to go on a date
“I’m sorry Padfoot! I won’t do it again. Now, do you two want any help picking out outfits for your date?” He was surprised to see that his voice didn’t crack at least once, he threw them a smile.
“Fine, but that doesn’t pay your debt!” Sirius said jokingly, already feeling better.
No cause because of course i'm the one in debt, you should be the one thanking me
He was supposed to meet Regulus at 11:30 so they could hang out a bit before the “party” -though he was sure there wouldn’t be one, though that still meant he would have to hurry up a bit with helping Sirius and Remus.
He helped both boys start picking out their outfits again before glancing at the clock
11:28
“Shit! I- uhm- I have to go, sorry!” James blurted out, giving their friends a sheepish smile before heading towards the door.
“Why are you leaving us again” Sirius whined.
“I have to- uhh- I have to meet.. someone”
“You’re really leaving us again for a girl? You’re unbelievable!” Sirius said furiously. James couldn't take any more of it so he hurried out the door and out of the portrait hole.
Before he had headed out of the dorm room he could hear Sirius’ frustrated groan, and as the door closed he could hear distant stomping from inside the room.
You’re doing this for them, You’re doing this for them, You’re doing this for their happiness, you’ll feel happy about it eventually like you always do
He tried to convince himself, though it wasn’t working too well. Even though he did this for their sake, he couldn’t help but shake the depressed feeling he got whenever he thought about the fact that all of his friends forgetting about his birthday.
He headed down to the dungeons to see Regulus leaning against the stone wall next to the Slytherin common room entrance.
James put on his most convincing smile before Regulus spotted him, Regulus returned the warm smile for a second before it faltered.
“Happy birthday!- Wait, what’s wrong love?” He said worriedly.
“I try to put on my most convincing smile and you always see through it” he chuckled humorlessly, “They- uh” He could feel that familiar lump start to build in his throat.
“You don’t have to talk about it, but if you want to we could go up to our dorm and we could talk it out without interruptions” he said, rubbing James’ arm comfortingly.
James didn’t trust his voice enough to say anything, so he simply nodded.
They walked up into the Slytherin common room. Every time James had been there before he had entered and exited under the invisibility cloak, but neither boys had paid any thought to being seen or not at the moment.
A few angry glares was -expectedly- thrown his way as they walked up the stairs. He entered the familiar dorm room and was greeted with Evan and Barty’s warm smile,
“happy birthday James!” They both said cheerfully.
That made James tip over, he started bawling into the sleeve of his shirt, trying to hide his face.
Regulus frowned and put his arm comfortingly over his shoulder, “Guys could you.. ehm” he nodded his head towards the door. Both boys understood and stood up to go out, Regulus threw them a thankful smile.
They sat down on Regulus’ bed as the door shut behind them.
Regulus hugged him tightly, letting him sob uncontrollably into his shoulder. When James eventually calmed down Regulus pulled away slowly with both of his hands on his shoulder, urging James to look at him.
“Love, what happened?” Regulus asked, rubbing his shoulder with his thumb.
“They.. uhm-” he took a deep breath, “They all forgot about my birthday, every one of my friends other than you guys, Sirius told me about his plans to go out on a date with Remus and he got mad at me cause he thought i was jealous of them being close or something when i asked to come with them, i only asked because i didn’t know they had forgotten yet, but then breakfast came and they hadn’t sung for me or anything, that’s also when Peter told me about his plans to go out with Lily to pick flowers, not even the girls remembered!” James started tearing up again .
“I ran out of the hall crying and I felt so guilty, I tried to suck it up and act happy. I mean- they seemed more happy doing that than to spend their day with me evidently, and seeing them being happy makes me happy, and they didn’t seem to notice anything different in my behavior anywa-”
“That’s enough” Regulus interrupted with a cold expression, his grip around James’ shoulders had tightened and he had that scary murderous stare in his eyes, “How the fuck could they even be that inconsiderate, I’m going to go have a word with my brother” Regulus stood up. James quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him down again,
“Please don’t, I don’t want to ruin their night-”
“What? They have ruined your birthday already and you still care for their day?”
“Please, seeing them miserable makes me miserable”
“You’re allowed to be mad about this James, you should be mad about this! Real friends dont forget each others birthdays goddamn it!”
“Please just- don’t tell them”
Regulus sighed, “Fine, but if i see them in the hallways i can’t promise their safety”
James chuckled, “That’s fine, and you can tell your friends about this if they ask you. I mean, at the moment they seem more like real friends than mine do.”
“They would never forget a birthday, they might be mean at times, but they care for the people they love”
James smiled at him, “Does that mean i can stay the night here?”
“Of course love, you can always stay the night, you never have to ask- or maybe, wake me up if you come into our room in the middle of the night, it’s scary to wake up next to someone without a warning” Regulus chuckled, James was thankful for his attempt at lightening up the situation.
“Does this mean our date is still on? I think we can spend the rest of the day together anyway, the party is clearly not going to happen” James said, trying his best not to get sad over that.
“Of course! We’ll give you the best birthday ever” Regulus smiled. James kissed him quickly on the lips before pulling him into a hug.
They walked out of the common room, on the couch sat Pandora, Barty and Evan. They both erupted into loud “Happy birthday!”s and pulled him into a hug.
“Thank you guys”
“James! We got you presents,” Pandora eagerly picked them up and handed him them, James immediately started tearing into the present with the tag “Happy Birthday James, love Pandora”
It was two sweaters, one green and one red.
Pandora chuckled lightly, “It’s not the greatest present bu-” her words were choked by the tight hug James gave her. James pulled back and looked at them for a second, before tearing up slightly.
“Woah, hey there it wasn’t that great of a present”
“I’m sorry I-” James threw Regulus a glance, “Can you- can you tell them?”
“Yes of course, James here’s friends totally forgot about his birthday, all seven of them, and they called him selfish when he tried to spend his day with them, making him feel guilty about it, making him feel guilty about wanting to spend his birthday with his loved ones” Regulus said through gritted teeth.
“WHAT” Barty yelled
“What the actual fuck is wrong with them!” Evan said, "Wait, tell us the whole story -if you want to that is!"
James nodded, and he began explaining. Everything from how everyone had forgotten about it and made their own plans, how mad Sirius had gotten when James' smile faltered at the mention of them not hanging out for the date, to him running away in the middle of breakfast to cry and how guilty he felt about everything.
“Do you want me to hex them into yesterday and the day before that?” Pandora said with a smile.
James chuckled, “I don’t think that’s necessary, I didn’t tell them it was my birthday after i found out because they seemed happier doing their plans and i didn't want to ruin them. besides, seeing them happy makes me happy”
“Are you happy now?”
“..No, and i feel very selfish about it-”
“You feel selfish because your friends yelled at you when you wanted to spend their birthday about it, and you feel selfish because you’re not happy about your friends doing other shit and not pay you any attention on your birthday?! James, you need to stop putting yourself down dear” Pandora said.
“It’s not my greatest skill” James mumbled, “Can we do something else? I don’t feel like talking about this any more”
Pandora nodded and pulled out a chess board from underneath the wooden coffee table, “I hope you can play, cause we’re like the best at chess” She grinned as she cracked her knuckles jokingly.
7 games later -3 games against Regulus, 2 against Pandora, 1 against Barty and one against Barty and Evan, since Barty alone apparently couldn’t help but cheat- James had succeeded in winning every one of them, even the one Barty tried to cheat on.
“Dear merlin, you’re too great at chess James” Evan groaned as he let his head hit the back of the couch in exhaustion.
“It’s unfair! You’re cheating or something” Regulus pouted and crossed his arms.
James looked up at the clock, “As cute as i may find your pouting, it’s time for dinner”
“Do you want to eat in our dorm? I’m sure we can ask the house elves for a delicious birthday meal” Regulus suggested.
“mm.. No, I want to eat in the great hall, but I want to sit with you guys” he smiled.
“There’s the Slytherin in you! God I think we’ve had a bad influence on you James” Barty joked as he pushed James jokingly, James snorted.
They made their way up the stairs and into the Great Hall, he threw a quick glance at his friends who looked rather pissed -they had probably seen him on the map spending his entire day in the Slytherin common room. They looked even more pissed when he sat down next to Regulus. A few questioned glances from the Slytherin table were thrown his way, but many of them had seen him in the common room earlier.
James tried his best not to look towards his Gryffindor friends during the meal, which he succeeded quite well in. It wasn’t as if it was hard from him considering he was sitting next to the most breathtaking boy in the whole universe.
After the meal they started making their way towards the dungeons again, Regulus and James were going to get ready for their date. They had decided that they were going to start their date early by going down to the lake. That’s when they heard a loud shout from behind them.
“James!” It sounded like Remus’ voice. James froze, his shoulders tensed and he stopped, he didn’t turn around until he could hear the footsteps come closer. He eventually turned around and was greeted by three angry faces.
“What the fuck! Not only are you ignoring us all day, acting like a total shit towards us and running away from us to make out with some girl, but you’re also going to hang out with fucking muggle hater death eater snakes!” Sirius screamed, he threw his hands up in rage and his voice was filled with anger.
James didn’t say anything but he looked down at his shoes.
“Oh, so you aren’t going to apologize or even say anything either” James winced, he tried hard to not cry.
“That’s enough you fucker!” Barty practically screamed, he started pulling out his wand before James stopped him, "Don't" he whispered, Barty lowered his wand reluctantly.
Regulus stepped in front of James in a threatening manner.
“What the fuck is wrong with you guys! He only tried to spend his day with you guys and you called him selfish, he ran away from breakfast crying and you blamed him for it, he fell asleep in the closet after crying out of pure exhaustion, and when he came back with a fake smile you didn’t even realize it was fake. Fuck ‘friends for 7 years’, you’re shit friends!” Regulus yelled, Sirius looked like he was about to explode out of anger, his knuckles were white.
“And not only that, you know, you could be a bit nicer towards him!”
“Why should we do that, he’s hanging out with evil little bullies and being a fucking attention seeking shit!” Sirius spat out.
“These evil little bullies actually fucking recognized him on his birthday!” Regulus screamed, stomping his feet on the ground in frustration and anger, the silence following was excruciating.
“What?” Remus stuttered after a while.
“That’s fucking right! It’s his goddamn birthday and you guys are such fucking shit friends! No one knew it was his birthday, seven years of friendship didn’t mean anything. We’ve been friends for 2 months and my friends gave him gifts, but not you! You’re supposed to be his real friends! You have no right to be angry, ‘cause you know what, despite everything you guys said and did, he came to me crying cause he felt guilty! He felt guilty because he thought that you would rather spend your time doing god fucking knows what your plans were instead of being with him, and he felt selfish because he thought he was destroying your plans! He thought that he would rather see you guys happy doing something that you’d rather do, which would in it’s turn make him happy, and he felt guilty because he still felt sad despite that!”
“We didn't know-”
“Of course you didn’t fucking know, that’s the problem! You guys are shit fucking friends, and you don't even know how he really feels.”
“I- Im sorry, we didn’t mean anything-”
“You have no right to be sorry, you don't deserve his forgiveness! Because you know what? Despite everything, James would push his feelings down and forgive you in an instant, he doesn’t deserve that. He’s such a nice and caring person and you take advantage of that! I won’t allow him to forgive you until you make yourselves actually forgivable” Regulus said decisively, he put his hand behind his back, signaling for James to take it.
“Tell me, how often does James tell you guys how he really feels? How many times have you been there for him when he was crying?”
“I- uhm.. he didn’t really like us doing that”
“Cause he felt like a burden on you guys! Anyone with a pair of fucking braincells -especially his friends for 7 years- should see that! You do not deserve James' forgiveness or kindness, this is why there aren’t many people as nice as James, because people like you take advantage of them and take it for granted. So I’m sorry if all it takes is a couple of death eater snakes for him to realize that he’s actually worth more than a kindness dispenser, a shoulder to cry on and a last resort for when you haven’t finished your assignment in time! And also, none of us are purists, none of us are or want to be death eaters either! We help the kids that are being picked on, the only reason you guys don’t know about it is because we do it in secret so that we can fucking survive without getting picked on and bullied as well, but you never even gave us a chance to get to know us past your outdated prejudice that ‘all snakes are bad’ “ Regulus bit back, "so excuse me, but since you don't even seem to have a birthday party planned for the birthday boy, we're going to spend the evening doing our plans that we have with him and try to make up for how shit you're being towards him"
He tightened his grip around James’ hand as a signal of comfort, he had been quiet the entire time Regulus had yelled at them, Barty, Evan and Pandora had also been quiet. James probably felt awful and uncomfortable, judging by the way he was staring at the floor instead of in the eyes of anyone. Regulus never lashed out like that -sure, he made snarky replies and angry shouts, but he never yelled like that, it surprised them all. But they weren’t too surprised, they were being assholes towards his boyfriend, and no one messes with Regulus.
Regulus turned towards James.
“I’m sorry for lashing out like that, and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable love, now come on, we still have an awesome date left” Regulus said with a smile, James smiled back.
Sirius stared at them in disbelief, "..date?"
"Yes you intolerant shit, he's my dear boyfriend and he deserves better than this, so excuse me but we've got some plans" Regulus smiled.
They made their way back towards the dormitory in silence, not the bad kind though.
James sighed, “I’m going to have to forgive them at some point, I can’t live without them and i don’t think they even realized what they were doing, it’s not as if i ever let them get to see that side” he put his head on Regulus’ shoulder as they walked.
“I know, but no more thinking about that today, that’s for tomorrow, today we have an awesome date ahead of us!” Regulus said excitedly, James chuckled.
He was going to be alright, he might not have all of his friends on his birthday, but he has his boyfriend and his other amazing friends, and that was enough for James.