4
The first time I met Harry Potter I was indifferent. I had recognized him for what he was: The boy who lived. The scar on his forehead didn't give him away, in fact it was difficult to see even if you paid attention to it, which no one did unless he said his name.
It was actually Ron who ratted him out. The moment Harry slid into the empty seat next to him, the whole train realized who was there.
It was from the books I had read and the talks I had eavesdropped on when Professor McGonagall first took my parents and I to Diagon Alley that I found out about him. However, to me, it sounded more like a myth, a simple children's story where the chosen one was sent to rid everyone of darkness.
From what I had heard that time I had realized that no one knew anything about Harry Potter, not really. People knew that when he was a baby he had defeated Voldemort, they knew that he had lost his parents the same night that he got the scar but no one knew of his whereabouts or what had become of him. The rumor that that same year he would begin his education was strong. I had even heard in Flourish & Blotts, when my parents were paying for my new books, that probably the reason Harry Potter had disappeared was because he was a Squib.
And yet there he was, aboard the Express on his way to Hogwarts.
Neville was my first friend in the wizarding world, who had been excited to find out that Harry was on the same train as us and who had lost all concentration searching for his frog.
However, I didn't meet Harry until halfway through my first year.
Once we were sorted to each house, and I was in the comfort of my common room, I was warned not to approach the Slytherins, they had a dangerous reputation and the oldest had told me they were the worst with people like me. Unfortunately Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, and although I was deeply intrigued to know his story—to know him—I had stayed as far away as I could. It was made much easier by the fact that he and Draco Malfoy had become friends. Draco, from whom I learned what Mudblood meant and his first words to me had been… in fact he hadn't said anything, he just stared at me, frowning deeply, as if a cockroach was suddenly speaking to him, and he left me like that for a long time while I was looking for Neville's frog. Draco had seemed really unpleasant because of my presence, not only was his way of speaking as if a man of old-fashioned customs had usurped the body of an 11-year-old child, there was also his superiority complex and his rude ways of treating not only me but anyone he felt was inferior or less. I guess that's why he became such good friends with Harry. There could only be someone better than Draco and that was Harry.
But Harry, despite being a snake, was very different from Draco. Harry had maintained his friendship with Ron despite everything, he had talked to Neville as if they were old friends and he had stopped his housemates on more than one occasion when they were determined to make our lives miserable.
And it was because of Ron and Neville that I became friends with them, for our return from the Christmas holidays I had noticed that Ron and Neville broke endless rules at dusk, not only did they sneak around the castle like rats but on more than one occasion they had used Harry's invisibility cloak to leave the castle on their expeditions which had me terrified, I learn this later on 2nd grade.
Part of me felt deeply hurt that my two best friends had left me out of their adventures but the other part was grateful.
I had followed them on more than one occasion, promising myself that I would accuse them with Percy or with McGonagall but I never did and I would like to say that it was my noble heart that told me of the immensity of the problem they faced and who deeply believed that Harry was a hero who would rescue us all but I would lie. The reality was I was living the adventure: not being discovered, knowing that I was doing something that I shouldn't do but that no one would find out. It was the feeling of power that grew from deep within me. The teachers didn't know that I was sneaking out at night and my friends didn't know that I was following them, or so I believed.
When I look back and remember this all I can think about is how incorrigibly immature it was of me to have never ratted them out. Maybe the story will be different.
It was shortly after my little spy adventures that the four of them approached me.
Draco, Harry, Neville and Ron.
The four of them approached me in the library with the excuse of needing help with their homework – although the truth is that they did and I had already helped Ron and Neville numerous times– but it wasn't long before they revealed to me that they knew. They knew I was following them, they knew I hadn't ratted them out, and they needed my help.
The rest was history, by the end of the year we knew that Voldemort had returned, or at least he tried to. And since then we have been inseparable.
Although saying that I was friends with Draco Malfoy was too much, at least we treated each other in a polite and civilized manner.
But that's not the point.
The three of them had become my family over time and that's why I hated that part of me that had a crush on Harry and Draco.
I didn’t know when it started, I never realized until it blew up in my face in fourth grade.
Unfortunately for me, somewhere between second and third year I had started to develop feelings for Malfoy. The Yule Ball had only made me come across that reality without the possibility of hiding it anymore or putting my feelings aside. He invited Pansy Parkinson and I cried because of it, that's when Viktor Krum invited me and I said yes without thinking about it. After long talks and afternoons with him in the library I had developed a somewhat strange friendship with him, so he was my best option and my only way out. Viktor had been wonderful but I was unable to get Draco out of my mind.
With Harry was different, I guess it was somewhere in between fifth and sixth year.
I don't know exactly what happened to me but it was the smell of my amortentia that confirmed that I was sick in the head and torture for a long time.
Sandalwood, parchment, grass, wood, cinnamon and butterbeer.
Of course I had lied, of course I had avoided my two friends at all costs until I couldn't avoid them anymore, of course Ginny had made fun of me for weeks. Something was wrong with me, but I didn't know how to fix it.
The last few years I had desperately hoped that my crush on Draco Malfoy would disappear in the same way it appeared, and by the time I was beginning to believe that what I felt for him was only a deep brotherly love amortentia came to remove everything I had hidden from myself for so long.
And they never knew it.
Not Ron, not Neville, much less Draco or Harry.
I had become the best of liars and it helped a lot that by that time we were all more worried about the future of the wizarding world with the return of Voldemort than about living through a school drama.
That's all that I was upset about.
I was holding Harry's letter tighter, feeling everything back again, having this noise voice in the back of my mind telling me to run away.
I was getting my frustration off with the letter on my hands.
Harry's pretty snowy owl had shown up at my window very early in the morning this morning. I had just seen them just hours ago at Kingsley's Manor and Harry had sent a very cordial invitation for dinner at Malfoy Manor. The letter clarified that Narcissa wanted to see us all like old times, she had even included that Neville would arrive by Floo so we would all be reunited again.
Like if that matters to me.
I focus on breathing deeply, as the healers have taught me, with my eyes closed and slowly relaxing my fists. The letter is not the problem, they are not the problem, it's just an innocent reunion. Narcissa wants to see us all again. Ron and Neville will be there. No problem.
I opened my eyes and took my quill to write a response. Hedwig is still there, waiting for my answer, looking at me with her head tilted as if what she just saw was the most entertaining thing in the world. I fold the sheet carefully and tie it to its paw. She didn't gime me the time to look for some food, as soon as it had the letter firmly attached to her paw she flew away and disappeared into the sky.
I want to vomit but there is no time, Narcissa is the type of woman who values punctuality and if there is one thing I don't want is to be on her bad side.
Mad-Eye hasn't communicated since Mrs. Weasley's funeral, less than two days ago, so when my little silver coin warns that a message was delivered I can't help but feel a cold chill run down my spine.
At noon we are all in the old kitchen of Grimmauld Place, the Weasleys are here this time, and, as always, the kitchen is filled with noise from the different conversations that happen at the same time.
Remus celebrates with Charlie that school is just about to start and his prized position as a DADA professor is still there, and he will soon return to the castle to start a new year. Charlie, on the other hand, left his job in Romania and is currently helping the ministry with the Scamander’s Law, following the trail of the black market of animals and fantastic creatures.
"Scary." Charlie says while rubbing his arms as if trying to stop the shiver that rises.
"Yes it is." Remus supports him. Charlie came across a network that is dedicated to trafficking all kinds of dark creatures. On his last mission he found himself in an old abandoned house full of boggarts, many of his companions had to leave temporarily or ask for vacation. “Last year the ministry prohibited us from using creatures for DADA. I'm not very happy with it but I think that it's for the best, it's not like I was very happy the first time I faced a boggart and…”
The door opens suddenly. Moody has finally arrived, and everyone falls silent as soon as we see him.
“I won't take much of your time.” Moody begins, not even moving from the doorway. “There are not many updates on the new curse” His eye scans the room silently threatening so that no one interrupts him. “It has not been detected who the magic signature belongs to because there is no magic signature.” Moody sighs wearily at our doubtful faces. “It's as if the person who made it doesn't exist. And there is more. The same mark was found in six different locations across the continent, two of them in Paris, one here in London, one more in Italy and the last in Scotland. There are no more bodies so we believe the rest were experimental. The brand contains an improved version of the killing curse however we believe that the effect does not last more than a couple of hours. Now, Minister, may I have a moment alone?” The place gradually empties, I stop for a second to say goodbye to Kingsley before leaving with the others but Moody's voice stops me for a second. “Granger.” In the years that I have known him, he has never said Hermione to me, not even when we celebrated the end of the war in this same place, not even when I was in bed dying. “If you don't mind, I need to talk to you alone. I will send you an owl.”
And with that I leave.
It's almost six when we enter through the chimney into the living room of Malfoy Manor. Ron and I are greeted by Narcissa as soon as we set foot inside the house. If I learned something from the Malfoys, it is that when they gain confidence -not when they pretend to be your friends - when they gain confidence and feel that they can be themselves, they are actually people who like physical contact, which is why I'm not surprised finding myself pulled into her big hug before I can even look around.
“Hermione, dear, how long?” Narcissa lets go of me after a long moment and turns to Ron. “Ronald, how beautiful to see you, seeing you both.”
When I met Narcissa I was worried that she was an arrogant, proud, and not at all kind woman. My mind couldn't conceive that a Slytherin would be kind in the slightest and not have a hidden intention, however that wasn't the case.
The first time I met Narcissa was in Italy, they had a luxurious country house that we had been invited to for the holidays, I had honestly been on the verge of not going, it was the holidays before our fourth year, but Narcissa was prepared for something like this to happen, so with the help of Arthur and Molly Weasley she had arrived at the door of my house, she had introduced herself and had spoken for hours with my parents and they had gladly agreed to let me go with them.
Narcissa was the complete opposite of Lucius, she cared about her family not the purity of blood, at least not anymore.
It had been awkward at first but I had realized that Narcissa had been more than an object to be traded to the highest bidder and because of that she resented the culture in which she had been raised. Years later I found out that Draco and Narcissa had lied to Lucius and had organized that vacation. At first my relationship with her had been awkward, just as it had been with Draco, but after a couple of days cohabiting the same space – and me showing special interest in her personal library– the walls had fallen, and since then she had sent a book every week to Hogwarts and even spoke with my parents by correspondence, so I was not surprised that both she and Draco were spies for the Order and that they will be acquitted. Unfortunately Lucius did not have the same fate and to say that none of us were happy that he was rotting in Azkaban would be a lie.
“Dinner is almost ready and the boys should arrive anytime.” Narcissa leaves us in the living room, asking us to wait for the rest there while she makes sure the dinner doesn't burn.
Like many, Narcissa left after the war.
I understand her, I would have made the same decision, the only difference between Narcissa – who left – and me – who decided to stay – is that Narcissa didn't care what people would say. At least not anymore.
The sound of the fireplace makes Ron and I turn, and Neville appears from the flames, brushing the soot off his robe as soon as he steps outside.
Without being able to avoid it – and without giving him much time to compose himself from his trip – I approach and hug my old friend.
“Hey” Neville laughs and hugs me back. "I missed you too."I separate myself from him, letting Ron greet him. Not long after the floo makes the sound announcing that someone else has arrived.
“They have lost their manners, what a way to impede passage.” Draco mocks and both Ron and Neville move to the side looking embarrassed, or rather pretending, first greeting Ron who is closest to him before greeting me.
"Move."Harry's voice interrupts our little hug, and as soon as Draco releases me a new pair of arms surround me.
Neville sighs loudly as soon as the greetings ends.
"Like old times." I know Neville well enough to know he's about to cry, his arm draped over Ron's shoulders. “I have a lot to tell you. India is impressive, I brought you memories and… Narcissa! What a pleasure…”
“Neville, dear, you have grown up. Have you eaten well?"
From where I stand I can see Neville's red ears, and, for a second, I can feel the nostalgia wash over me but, for the first time, it doesn't make me sad.
Dinner is actually wonderful. Narcissa has the ability to start conversations without excluding anyone at any time. Despite that I can't shake the feeling that it's not the same. Clearly not and never will be again, but – like many things in life – I had completely ignored that knowledge and now I couldn't get rid of it.
I honestly don't know what changed or when and at the same time I understand that it was many things because we all grew up.
By the end of the war I was away, clearly not by choice, but there were 6 long months with Kingsley in which we missed a lot. Afterwards it was weeks in bed and recovering, by the time I returned to action the war was about to end. Neville, Harry, Draco and Ron had found the rest of the horcruxes and the only thing left was to find Voldemort. They never visited me during my recovery, and although I understand that they couldn't, a part of me couldn't help but feel resentful about it.
Our reunion wasn't the best either. Everything was on fire and the war was at its worst. So there were no hugs and cries, I actually looked at them from a distance nodding my head as if that could tell them that I was fine and I continued on my way along with the order.
By the time it was all over, when the war finally ended days later, it was the moment we came closer and hugged each other.
As I said, the annoyance was still there, I know it wasn't their fault what I had experienced during those six months but I couldn't help and I blame them. Not because of what happened but because they weren't there when I returned, they were not there for me when I needed them the most.
The meeting was brief, I had too much to work as a healer and they dedicated themselves to prowling the castle looking for Death Eaters to stop them before they escaped. The next few months were a blur, while they were helping to rebuild the castle I was locked in the walls of St. Mungo's helping as much as I could and before I thought about it a year had already passed. A year in which we had only communicated by letters. I considered returning to finish my last year of school, but as soon as I found out that none of them returned because they had been offered ministry positions I decided it was time to move on. Ron, Harry and Draco started their training as Aurors shortly after school started and Neville was an apprentice to herbology masters around the country so he traveled a lot. I, on the other hand, decided to start my healer training officially .
So, at some point in the war the brotherhood between the five of us had broken, I didn't know when but it did and by the time everything returned to normal everyone was living their lives.
It's strange to think that the five people in front of me could be strangers at this point in my life when back in school I thought they were the ones I knew the most and that they knew me.
Funny that I even know Ginevra Weasley more than Ron now.
During dinner Narcissa led the conversation in an attempt to talk about what we had done with our lives during the time we had not seen each other.
Even though Ron was an active member in my circle I was surprised to hear that he was looking for a promotion, as far as I knew he hated his job.
Harry and Draco had continued their search for Death Eaters around the world, although they found fewer and fewer, there were still some hidden somewhere.
Neville had been to different countries as well, he had started as an apprentice in herbology as soon as the war was over and thanks to his passion he had managed to be transfer to different schools and with different teachers learning everything and as much as he could, he was currently working as an associate of the ministry and Unspeakables for many of the new potions and treatments.
My life was not that exciting, in fact I rarely left St. Mungo's, I had had a few conferences in Germany and America regarding new healing methods but nothing beyond that.
I knew they were being nice to ask more about the congresses and the progress and what it was like to have the leadership of St. Mungo's, but even for me it was boring. I appreciated the attempt but I knew it wasn't very relevant compared to the adventures my friends were still having, so little by little I directed the conversation back to their adventures without seeming hostile or rude.
Narcisa, on her side, had decided that there was nothing that tied her to staying and she wanted a new beginning so she had moved to her mansion in Italy and had a quiet life. She had only returned because her son had returned and she wanted to see us all again.
I was immensely grateful that no one had the initiative to have an after dinner talk, Narcissa had asked us to extend our stay and have a glass of wine but Neville refused saying that he had a matter to attend to tomorrow morning, Ron said he had to go back to the burrow and I lied saying I had meetings at St Mungo's the next day in the morning.
In reality, my Sunday didn't start until noon, but I had no intention of staying longer than necessary, so with everyone's refusal, all she had to do was ask us to visit her regularly. Gathered again in front of the fireplace we said goodbye and each one retired.