LQ?
It was 8 am when we arrived at the hotel. We are scheduled to have a breakfast buffet- more like brunch at one of the function halls of the hotel. After mag breakfast, may seminar agad kami about housekeeping. Everyone was excited kasi nga tour siya around Cebu City which is new for us. I saw how their excited faces turned into disappointed one pagstart ng seminar. I know for sure nakalimutan na ng mga kaklase ko na academic tour to. Well except for my buddy of course.
I have heard that Stacey is academically competent. She excels in both academic and extra curricular activities. Pero di ko naman alam na ganito pala siya ka serious about it.
She has this small notebook and pen which she uses ever so often. Noting each and every detail she sees and noticed. And of course, it's in the color pink.
Tapos na kami kumain at tapos na rin ang unang seminar namin sa tour. Stacey, sitting on my right is writing something again. I tried to take a peek of what she is writing pero mabilis niya itong iniwas at tinaasan ako ng kilay.
"What?" sungit.
"Ba't mo ba tinatago, share naman yung diary by pair di ba?" I asked because it's true.
"Sino bang may sabing para sa diary sa tour to?" she said at tinago sa pink bag niya ang notebook.
"Duh? Eh para saan ba yan?" as if naman sasagutin ka niya Jho.
"None of your business" di ba?
"Gawin mo mag isa yung diary." Aba nag uutos pa ah.
"Why should I? Akala ko ba excited ka sa academic tour na to?" I said, matching her sass.
"Who says I'm excited?" she said and sipped on her fruit juice.
"Ikaw? Lagi mo pa nga akong ina update about sa tour eh. Di ba love?" I smirked emphasizing the last word of my statement. Tama gumanti na tayo Jho habang matapang ka pa.
She frozed, her expression unreadable. Nawala yung ngiti ko, kinakabahan baka nga ayaw niya talaga. Ayusin mo kasi mga desisyon mo sa buhay Jho! Eh ang unfair naman kasi. Pag siya okay lang tas pag gumanti ako magagalit agad?
She wiped her lips with the table napkin. Tumayo siya at umalis, naglakad papunta sa exit ng hall na malapit sa mga restrooms. Ah baka natatae lang Jho, assuming ka naman.
I looked at her plate na meron pang natitirang cucumbers from the vegetable salad. Ayaw niya ata. I made a mental note of it. Why? Wala lang, baka magamit ko in the future.
Kisha and her pair emerged from the door Stacey walked out of. Sitting right beside me, Kisha nudged my shoulders and asked, "Nyare dun sa buddy mo? Natili ba naman sa cr."
Her pair leaned in and joined the conversation.
"Baka ganyan talaga siya? Naalala ko yung kahapon, nagulat pa ako may tumitili sa cr. Di syempre akala ko may away so lumabas agad ako sa cubicle. Eh si Stacey lang naman pala tao dun. Tinarayan pa nga ako. Kasalanan ko ba na kung nakita ko yon?" sobrang daldal naman nito.
I laughed as I imagined their interaction. Ang weird mo talaga Sevilleja. Ano na naman nakain mo at tumitili ka pa sa cr. Definitely not cucumbers, I smiled as I glanced back at her plate.
Kisha laughed and pushed her friend's face away from her. "Ayan napapala mo kakamarites mo. Jhoanna, this is Lee pala and I am Kisha. For sure you don't know us and the rest of the people here." She gestured towards the people in the hall.
Tumawa ako at nagkamot ng batok. "Di naman oi, kilala ko naman yung iba." It's true I know some of the faces and names but I am not close with any of them.
Lee leaned on Kisha's side again "Di nga, di mo nga alam yung pangalan ng prof natin sa MICE. Rinig kita ilang bese mo natawag ng miss MICE."
Kisha laughed "Totoo? Dalawa pala kayo ni Stacey."
Lee leaned back on her chair, shushing Kisha and drinking fruit juice. Nilingon ko ang tumikhim sa likuran ko. Stacey sat back on her chair and focused on her phone. Takot pala sila dito?
I looked at Kisha's plate and noticed the untouched salad. Di kasi ako mahilig sa gulay. But I wanted to try the cucumbers so I could judge bakit ayaw niya itong kainin.
"Kisha pwede ko matikman yan?" I asked and pouted on the salad on her plate. She looked at me, confused then she nodded and smirked.
She picked some of her salad with a fork and gestured towards my mouth. Ang bait naman nito ni Kisha, unlike a certain someone I know.
"Ahhhh" she said playfully.
"Gaga ka" tumawa ako sa ginawa niya. I like fun people. While it's true that I'm not close to anyone except my friend group, hindi rin naman ako sarado sa ibang tao. In fact I am as approachable as a person running in an election. Namamansin ako if inuunahan nila akong pansinin. So interactions like this, friendly approaches are totally fine with me.
"Kisha nagseselos na talaga ako. Di ko na kinakaya to. Harap harapan na kayong nanloloko" Lee pouted and dramatically placed one hand on her chest, acting very hurt.
Napatawa kami sa ginawa ni Lee. Kumuha rin ako ng salad gamit ang sarili kong fork. I playfully guided it towards Lee's mouth and Kisha did the same.
"To naman si tampo agad." Kisha teased.
"Oo nga, eto ahhhh" sabi ko sabay tawa.
"Woah woah woah! Joke lang di ako kumakain ng gulay." She said laughing.
"Si Stacey, baka gusto niya. Kanina pa niya tinititigan ng masama yung plate ni Kisha" Lee continued.
Napalingon kaming lahat kay Stacey. She looked caught off guard. Napaawang ang labi niya na para bang may sasabihin siya. Tumikhim siya at umayos ng upo, her face unreadable.
"I'm good" sabi niya at ibinalik ang tingin sa phone niya.
Ang busy naman nito. Siguro ka chat niya yung manliligaw niya. I pursed my lips at the thought.
"Ayaw ko na pala sa salad Kisha. Di rin naman ako kumakain ng gulay, curious lang." I said at binaba ang fork na may salad.
Stacey pulled out her small pink notebook and wrote something. I looked at her and she raised a brow at me, hiding her notebook on her sides.
"Di ka ba talaga tutulong sa diary?"
"Whatever"
Tumayo siya at naglakad sa area kung saan nakalagay ang mga luggages namin. I noticed some of our classmates are there too, kumukuha ng sarili nilang mga gamit.
"Aakyat nadaw ata sa mga rooms natin para iwan ang mga gamit." Lee said.
"Ahhh, di ba sa NUSTAR tayo next?" Kisha asked. Sumunod na kaming tumayo papunta sa mga luggages.
"Yup and doon din daw ang lunch." I answered.
"Sana masarap" Lee said at hinampas ni Kisha ang balikat niya.
"Puro ka naman pagkain, kakakain lang natin oh."
"Eh kasi" Lee pouted. Napatawa ako sa kanila. Sana ganito nalang din kami ni Stacey. I sighed and proceeded to gather my things.
Nauna na maglakad si Stacey papuntang elevator. Our room is in the 35th floor. At na sa kanya ang keycard kaya hindi ako pwedeng maiwan.
"Hey, wait up!" I called out and ran to catch up to her. Nilingon niya ako at hininaan ang paglalakad. Oh?
"Ba't ka ba nagmamadali?" I said at naglakad sa tabi niya.
"Ba't ka ba hindi nagmamadali? Ang dami natin tapos mag aantay ka pa umakyat yung iba?" she said and pressed on the elevator button.
Ahhh. Make sense. Matatagalan kami if di kami uuna umakyat.
"Oki" I said and followed her inside the elevator. Hindi siya masikip since kami palang ang aakyat. Our classmates are still busy taking pictures in the lobby. Some are still inside the hall, eating or just hanging out. It's still 10 in the morning and 12 pa kami naka scheduled na pumunta ng NUSTAR para sa pangalawang seminar.
35th floor is too high up. Di naman sana ganon kataas kung iisipin mo na 100 floor ang hotel pero with Stacey and the never ending awkward air around us whenever we are alone??
Torture. I swear to God this is torture. I looked at the floor number. Still 15th floor. Lord hanggang san ba to? I breath a sigh of relief when the elevator opened and people started coming in. I was happy, halfway that is. Di na kami mag isa sa elevator. Pero habang pataas ang floor ay dumarami din ang taong pumapasok. Siguro dahil may skydeck resto ang hotel na to kaya marami ang guests na paakyat.
Masikip at nagsisimula ng uminit ang elevator. 28th floor na at natabunan kami ni Stacey sa likod, hawak ang mga gamit at maleta namin. Sa tabi niya ay isang koreanang dalaga at sa tabi ko naman ay isang westerner na foreigner. Napapansin kong masiyadong nakadikit yung lalake sa tabi ko kaya sumiksik ako sa tabi no Stacey. I know I'm probably just overthinking things and that the guy was probably just pressed by the crowd pero uncomfortable things are uncomfortable.
Napalingon si Stacey sa akin. Her eyes asking. I shook my head and just looked down. Nafefeel ko paring nakadikit yung lalake sa may balikat ko. I held unto my bags tighter. Ilang floors nalang Jho, tiisin mo na lang.
"Excuse me, can you please move back a little from my girlfriend?"
I blinked. Once. Then twice. At kahit ilang beses pa akong pumikit ay nakikita ko pa rin ang kamay ni Stacey sa bewang ko. Resting comfortably, acting as both security and comfort. She pulled me closer to her and pushed my luggage to my right where the man is standing making a gap between me and him.
Eh?
Huh?
Girlfriend?
And her hand?
If the elevator door haven't opened on the 35th floor, siguro namatay na ako. My mind can't keep up. What the fuck just happened??
Kahit na sa harap na kami ng room namin ay natutulala parin ako. I mean? I can still feel my heart beating. It's loud. And it's deafening my thoughts. My face still on fire and my body warm. Did she just saved me from that uncomfortable situation? And the she just called me her girlfriend? Hindi naman siguro panaginip to no??
"Tutunganga ka na lang ba dyan?" I snapped back to reality when Stacey asked me in her usual sassy tone. Na sa loob na siya ng room at nagtatanggal ng sapatos. Right. That sassy attitude means that I am not in a dream. So why?
"Tsk" she said ng hindi ako sumagot at tumalikod na at tuluyang pumasok sa loob.
Jho snap out of it. Siguro yun lang yung naisip niya para mapalayo yung lalake. Tama, mabait lang siguro siya on the inside. At least.
Pumasok na rin ako sa room at isinara ito. The room was nice. Una mo agad mapapansin ang city view. For sure this would look good in the night. It also has two single beds which is good kasi hindi ko kailangan sa sahig matulog if ever isa lang yung bed. Pero there isn't much space between the two beds. Ayos na rin to kesa wala.
Nag aayos na si Stacey ng mga gamit niya habang ako ay umupo sa kabilang bed. The bed is comfy and I can feel myself getting sleepy again. Mamayang gabi nalang siguro ako mag aayos ng gamit. I set an alarm and started to lay comfortably on the bed. Hindi naman maingay si Stacey. Sobrang tahimik pa nga na kung hindi ko lang naririnig ang mga gamit niya ay mabibingi na ako sa katahimikan. Matutulog nalang ako rather than to deal with yet another awkward silence.
I woke up 10 seconds after my alarm rang. Ganon talaga siguro pag sanay na sa alarm? Pero madalas pinapatay ko lang at tinutulogan pabalik. Not this time though ng mahagip ng paningin ko si Stacey na nakadungaw sa bintana habang umiinom ng tubig.
Shit panaginip na naman ba to? Kase kung oo pwede ba ako mag back hug?
"Buti nagising ka pa. Iiwan na sana kita dito." she said and sat down on the couch. Bumangon ako at nag ayos. Ganito na ba ako kalikot at nagawa ko pang kunin yung kumot sa ibabaw ng unan? Nevermind, I should just get ready kasi baka iwan talaga ako neto.
Exactly 11:30 nang makababa kami ni Stacey sa lobby at pumunta sa bus para sa second seminar sa NUSTAR. Buti nalang at wala na masyadong tao sa elevator pagkababa namin.
Now standing on the aisle of the 2nd to the last row of the bus is me and Stacey. Iniitay ko siyang umupo sa window seat kasi for sure mag aaway kami pag nauna akong umupo doon. But she still isn't moving and so I looked at her with pure confusion.
"Ano uupo ka pa ba? O balak mo magkondoktor?" siya pa talaga may gana mang ganyan?
"Ikaw sa window seat diba?" I asked now with a slight frustration.
"Tsk. Umupo ka na lang" she said and pushed me slightly on the bus chair.
I had no choice but to comply. Gulo naman nito? Nagsawa agad sa view? Well I don't mind, now I get to see the view na walang harang.
The bus ride was quick. Hindi naman siya silent since the tour guide was throwing random facts about buildings and places na nadadaanan namin.
12 na nang nakarating kami sa NUSTAR at diretso agad kami sa isang hall para sa seminar. Kahit naeenjoy naman yung mga kaklase ko sa lugar, di parin mawawala yung disappointment nila tuwing nagsisimula ang seminars. I can't blame them, pero the teachers literally reminded us every single time that this is an educational tour and so, the seminars.
What we were all happy about though is the lunch buffet. Matakaw ang lahat pagdating sa libreng pagkain. Well not totally libre since nabayaran namin ito, pero still. After the seminar, deritso agad kami sa restaurant ng hotel. The buffet lunch has many stations. From asian foods, different meats, salads and even desserts, all are eaten all you can.
Sa sobrang excited ko matikman ang lahat, di ko na namalayan na nahiwalay na pala ako sa grupo at kay Stacey na buddy ko. Well not a problem though kasi meron namang phone. Iniikot ko pa ang mga area para matry ang lahat ng pagkain na curious ako. Wala namang mali doon at nagbayad naman ako para dito. I was lost on my own world, enjoying different cuisines and witnessing experts do their things kaya di ko na namalayan ang oras.
I checked my phone for the time, 2:55.
Shit! We were supposed to gather at the lobby by 3pm. I looked around at wala na akong nakikitang naka id ng kagaya ko. Shit baka dito pa ako maiwan. Tanga mo Jho!
I saw the flood notifications from Stacey. Shit na talaga!
Sevilleja buddy system
Where are you?
Pag ikaw wala pa dito by 2:50, iiwanan ka talaga.
Asan ka na ba?
Sevilleja buddy system
I swear to God Robles pag nawala ka hahanapin talaga kita para sakalin.
Shit! Bahala na masakal basta mahanap mo ako please! I'm probably lost. For someone na bobo sa directions, sobrang tanga ko nga na humiwalay ako sa mga kaklase ko.
"Hey" napalingon ako sa tumawag at ngumiti dito. That's right ikalma mo Jho. You are a responsible adult. Repeat until true.
"Po?" as a shy person.
"I noticed kanina ka pa aligaga. Are you perhaps lost?" she smiled. Sobrang ganda naman nito ni ate.
"Umm, medyo po ata? Hehe" sobrang awkward mo naman na tao Jho!
"Figured as much" she said at tumango tango. Napakamot ako sa ulo. I looked at her again and noticed a nameplate on her dress. Or was it a uniform? Baka staff dito?
" I think base sa id mo, mga kasama mo yung kakababa lang kanina?" she gestured towards the back of the hall.
"Talaga po? San po ba papuntang exit dito po?"
"Samahan nalang kita baka maligaw ka ulit" she chuckled and started to walk kaya sumunod na rin ako.
Pagkarating ko sa exit ay agad ko na natanaw ang dalawang bus na sinasakyan namin. Outside it are the teachers na kasama namin sa tour at si Stacey na nakatoon parin sa cellphone ang tingin at magkatagpo ang mga kikay. Well be prepared na mapagalitan Jho.
"Looks like they're still here. Good for you at di ka naiwan."
I looked at the lady and bowed my head.
"Sobrang thank you po ate"
She chuckled and shook her head.
"It's all good. Mauna na ako. Good luck at for sure na mapapagalitan ka."
"Kasalanan ko rin naman po, thank you po ulit."
She smiled and turned to walk inside the hotel again. Buti nalang talaga may mabubuting tao pa sa mundo. Now it's time to face my mess. Lord guide me.
"There you are" miss MICE finally noticed me when I walked towards them. I saw how Stacey's eyes sharply transferred her gaze on me. Grabe mas galit pa ata to kaysa sa mga teachers.
"Saan ka ba galing miss Robles? Ano nalang ang nangyari kung naiwan ka talaga? And you miss Sevilleja? Di ba we all reminded you to be responsible with your buddy? Bakit may naiwan?" miss MICE then climbed up the bus and so we followed.
"Sorry po. Kasalanan ko po talaga." di naman na ako sinagot ng kahit na sino. Pinaupo na kami at bumyahe na ulit pabalik ng hotel.
Maaga kami ngayon magse settle sa hotel kase pagod pa kami galing byahe kaya dalawang seminars lang din.
Tahimik lang kami ni Stacey buong byahe kahit na maingay ang bus dahil nagpapapremyo ang tour guide sa kung sino mang makakasagot sa mga facts na pinagsasabi niya kanina sa byahe papunta. She still looks pissed about something. And for sure ako ang something na yun. Well, ikaw ba naman mapagalitan kahit di mo kasalanan. Magso sorry naman ako eh. Kaso nahihiya pa ako ngayon. Baka sa room nalang.
Well now mas nakakahiya pala sa room. Sobrang tahimik. Tapos na ako mag shower at ganon din siya. Naka open ang tv at nakaplay ang isang random na movie sa isang tv station. Stacey is writing something on her pink notebook. She looks comfortable pero ramdam ko parin ang inis niya mula rito. She tried not to look my way. Well dati pa naman niya ito ginagawa pero mas aggressive ngayon. By that I mean, when she does look my way, matatalim na tingin ang naaabutan ko. Oo na kasalan ko na. Mag so sorry na nga di ba?
"Tsk, tanga tanga kasi" she said matapos niya kong irapan for a hundredth time.
"Anong sabi mo?" I said at napaayos ng upo sa bed ko. Ganon din siya.
"I said ang tanga tanga mo. Bata ka ba para mawala?" she said, irritation is evident in her voice.
"Ano ba kasing pake mo?" I said mirroring her tone.
"Well you are my buddy, and you are my responsibility" ahhh so hindi dahil concerned siya dahil we somehow have a 'connection'?
"Kaya ko ang sarili ko." sabi ko at humiga na at nagtakip ng kumot. Ang emotional mo naman Jho. Simpleng away lang iiyak ka na.
Well who wouldn't cry if someone you cared for would say they only care because they needed to? Someone I cared for? Stacey? Lol. Sa panaginip siguro. Di ba Jho?
My tears fell and it somehow made me feel pathetic. Sobrang affected ko naman. The last time I checked, we don't have that kind of connection. Sa panaginip lang. Now I miss my love sa panaginip. Can't I just be with her and not with this reality? Pwede ba yun?
Love?