The gentle chime of the usual 7am alarm earned a grunt from the brunette as she rolled over expecting to be met by what she calls ‘Lisa’s adorable sleeping pouty face’ to find cold, empty sheets. On a day like today, all she wished for was to wake up in her girlfriends arms, she liked the feeling of protection and security she got when in her presence. Lisa was aware of Carla’s struggles and experiences through the occasional brief summaries she would get like her brother took his own life, kidnapped in her own factory, being raped, addictions, miscarriage, etc…a lot of things. She appreciated how Swain never asked questions and was more of a listener, never pressuring for full stories. With that she felt safe and accepted with her. She just felt as though she’d scare her away if she dove in too much. Carla couldn’t lose her.
Today was Mother’s Day, a day where she would happily just sleep through it if she could. The miscarriage left a hole in her life, she didn’t say that out loud but she definitely felt it. She would often think about what could have been. Her, a wife and their 2 daughters. It was damaging but she couldn’t shake the thoughts. She needed Lisa’s touch. She needed her feeling of protection and security to get her through.
~
Carla pov:
I sluggishly drag myself out of bed, adjusting the loose knot on my dressing gown, retying it up. Coffee. I need coffee. “Lise, darlin, you home?” I ask while making the bed before heading to the kitchen. No reply. Oh. I assume she’s visiting the hospital to see Betsy, earlier than usual but I can’t really argue, it’s Mother’s Day of course, Betsy needs her mum and Lisa needs her kid. I’ll text her just to make sure, she knows how I get on days like these, it wouldn’t surprise me if she ran for the hills or something.
———————————————————————————————————
Carla: Happy Mother’s Day my love, Hope Betsy spoiled you rotten! How is she? I’m hoping to nip over as soon as I’ve finished getting ready. I missed you this morning x
Lisa: You know full well she did. I’m now realising I wasn’t going mad thinking you two were up to something, thank you. I’m coming home shortly. Madams in a mood. We can nip back up later on though. Love you x
Carla: Gets that attitude from her mother… don’t be too long, getting withdrawals from the taste of your lips😘. love you too x
Lisa: cheeky. okayyyy 🙄 lol. See you soon x
———————————————————————————————————-
Distractions. I struggle to find them, especially when I need them the most. Cleaning was the go to. I guess that’s what I can do now. I connect my phone to the speaker. The radio is always full of kids giving messages to their mums and I don’t want to deal with that. I hit play to hear some awfully loud, weirdly wrote pop song ‘Juno by Sabrina Carpenter’ it read. hmmm, must still be on Betsy’s playlist. I liked it though - it was like having her back home again so I left it playing as I searched the cupboards for the cleaning supplies.
~
At the hospital, Lisa sat next to Betsy, notebook in hand, “So we’ll get these from here and head there. Don’t worry about the pricing, get what you want for her, just don’t go completely overdrive - I know what you’re like!”, “Sounds like a plan. I can’t wait to see her face. This is far too exciting - I can’t.” The older blonde stood from the chair, straightening her turquoise blazer before picking up the bag of Betsy’s belongings, “right come on missus, we need to go, we haven’t got all day!”, “yes please get me out of here! Sick of it!”, they laughed, heading out of the room.
“Card shop?” the DS questioned, receiving the reply of a sarcastic sounding “Obviously.” There wasn’t much of a selection due to the specific time they went but Betsy made sure she read through every single one of them with extreme caution to make sure it was perfect. “This one!” She chuckled, handing the card to Lisa to read through…
“Happy Mother’s Day - love from the crazy kid you inherited when you shacked up with my mum”
Lisa tried to mask the laughter with the serious DS Swain face but instantly cracked after looking down at it again, “This is perfect!”.
~
Lisa pov:
Carla’s done an amazing job with Betsy. My relationship with the kid has never been so strong and I have Carla to thank for that. The maternal role seems so natural with her like it was meant to be and that’s help us too. I could go on about this forever but I won’t fill your head with it all. Anyway. We thought she deserved to be spoilt this Mother’s Day, it’s our first one together so we want to make it special and what’s Mother’s Day without the child so I managed to use my charm to get Betsy out of hospital a few days early. I feel guilty for not telling Carla about our daughter’s condition but ruining a surprise is not my thing. And now I’m letting a child run about with my credit card - risky - but my sweet girl is worth it.
After Becky’s death and how Betsy treated Carla at the start of the relationship, I was scared that Betsy would disapprove and refuse a relationship with Carla but I’m so glad her attitude changed. I love our little family dynamic. We all have our domestics that all fit together perfectly. Things have never felt better.
It took an extremely long 2 hours for Bets to be satisfied enough with her gifts for us to leave. We ended up with 3 full gift bags of stuff so I’m not ready for the bank statement next month but at least now we can head home. I’ve never felt so nervous, I’m too excited to surprise Carla, like more excited than Betsy I think.
We hit traffic on the way back, quite expected, you know, people going out for dinner, days out and stuff but it just made me feel even worse and I could see Betsy getting impatient too. “Sing along?” I asked, trying to break the silence, turning the radio on to hear ‘just the way you are - Bruno Mars’. Me and Carla’s song. Drunk karaoke is to thank for that but it’s become so important to us. Carla’s already set on having it as our first dance song when it comes to it. I couldn’t help but smile, passionately singing along, pretend microphone and everything. “What on earth? Mum. Don’t. People are looking!” Betsy cringed, sliding in the seat, covering her face, “You, Elizabeth Swain, are a certified party pooper!” I laughed, pulling my phone out, “I should text Carla saying we’ll be late back, hopefully we aren’t too long now.”
—————————————————————————————————
Lisa: Sorry about the time darling, had to nip out. Be home soon, stick the kettle on - gasping for a brew. Love you xx
Carla: I remember you saying ‘be home shortly’, you lied to me Swainy, liars get punished you know xx
Lisa: Oooh, now I am excited Connor. Do your worst my love, you won’t hear me complain😘 xx
——————————————————————————————————
~
Eventually the pair reached the door of the flat, butterflies in their stomachs. Due to Betsy’s sling and the many bags of stuff Lisa had to carry, no one had a free hand to open the door. “Ugh, I’ll have to buzz up. Stay quiet. Carla doesn’t know.”. The teen, with gift bag still in hand, ran her fingers across her lips as if to zip them shut.
*Buzz Buzz*
Carla: Yeeeeesssssss
Lisa: Will you be ever so kind and let me in my darling
Betsy forced her hand to her mouth to help prevent the laugh she was close to letting out.
Carla: I’ll think about it.
Lisa: pleaseeeeeeee
Carla: ugh fine.
The sound of stilettos down the stairs widened the girls smiles. Betsy decided to hide behind Lisa which didn’t exactly do much due to the height difference which made them laugh but she continued to do so anyway. The door opened, giving Swain the full view of her girlfriend in a small black dress that hugged her curves beautifully to which her jaw dropped in adoration, “Alright, alright. I recommend shutting your mouth before it stays stuck like that,” “The cheek from you today. How do I cope?” “Awww you love it, I know you do!” they laughed as Carla looked at the floor, trying to hide her smile but noticing some legs that weren’t Lisa’s, “and who is this?”, Betsy stepped from behind the woman, heading straight for the brunette’s arms, “SURPRISE! Happy Mother’s Day Carla,” she shouted, Carla, shocked, tightened her grip around the youngster, being cautious of her arm.
“You knew about this and didn’t tell me?!”, she directed at Lisa who was unsure from the tone of voice whether she was happy about the decision of surprise or not, “Well I- I thought it would have been nice for us to spend today together but it’s okay if not I can just-“ she uttered, shyly, “Lisa. Best surprise ever,” she cut her off, “I missed you, you little ratbag,”, “oh thanks, love you too Carla,” she chuckled, “I HAVEN’T missed that sarcasm young lady!”, “Don’t lie. Anyway. Thesssseee are for you!” Betsy exulted, nudging her mum to hand over the gift bags, “Aw darling, you shouldn’t have, come here,” Carla gushed, pulling Betsy back into a hug, “well I’m not taking them back, now can we go upstairs and open them!”.
~
Lisa pov:
“Bets, love, head upstairs for us and put something on telly for us while Car opens her presents, be up in a sec,” I needled, hoping for a moment to check in with Carla. I feel so guilty for not being there for her today and I know how she likes to bottle her feelings. I just want her to be ok. “Long time no see gorgeous! I know you’ll say you’re fine when we both know you’re likely not but how are you doing, you know with the-“, “I’m ok, it feels a little strange but I’m ok. I’ve done a mad cleaning spree as a distraction and started to prepare something to eat, I didn’t know if you’ve ate so, yeah…” “what about the gifts, you’re ok with it right? It’s not too much is it?” I ask, unsure whether this was appropriate. The impression I got from before is that she wasn’t but I can’t exactly know unless I ask. I’d rather her tell me than her crumble inside as it’s brought a lot back up. “Nooo. I fact I feel honoured that Betsy sees me in that way. I’m just a little shocked and overwhelmed, this is all so new but I’m so glad I have you two, we make quite the team don’t we?!”. My eyes filled with tears leaving me unable to reply so I settled with the choice to take my hand and delicately cup her face, gazing into her pretty, soft eyes before allowing my lips to rest upon hers, “I love you Carla Connor,” “I suppose I love you too Lisa Swain,” “let’s go upstairs before Betsy sends a search party out!” I giggled out of the kisses.
This is everything I’ve always wanted. The last 3 years have been hard but Carla was the light I didn’t know I needed. Seeing Her and Betsy together was everything to me. My family. We got upstairs and I set the many bags down, taking out my things from Betsy out of the bag, putting my card on the mantle piece along with the gifts, biting my lip to try and stop the tears. It just didn’t work. “Mum are you ok? You’re not crying are you?” I hear, “No.” I answer sternly until another voice joined the conversation, “Liars get punished you know!”. Ugh I feel I’m going to have to get used to that phrase. All I could do was laugh, “No it’s just… seeing you two together, I just-“. I completely broke. They tried to hide it but I saw the pouty face Betsy gave to Carla who returned a smile before they both captured me into a hug. “This isn’t about me, it’s Carla’s turn, I’ve have my part of the day, open your presents my love!”.
~
Carla pov:
We sat at the table, all eyes on me. I’m not going to say I didn’t like the attention but it felt weird. A nice weird obviously. I was completely overwhelmed by the shower of gifts - I have to say, they know how to treat me right. I got to the final gift. A little box with a pink ribbon placed on-top. “This is my favourite!” Lisa interrupted, resting her palm on my thigh - is this a warning? I suppose this means I’m going to cry. I took the lid off to see a little heart shaped picture frame with a picture of the 3 of us from my welcome home party after being in hospital with an engraved message:
‘I love you 1 million’
My heart exploded, “aw baby girl!” I cried, wrapping my arms around my step-daughter’s neck, “I love you so much, I don’t deserve any of this!”, “No, you deserved the world but that wasn’t for sale unfortunately so this is all I could do for now. Thank you. For everything. Oh. You forgot the card, I think you’ll like it!”.
“Happy Mother’s Day - love from the crazy kid you inherited when you shacked up with my mum” - Well that isn’t lying is it?
“I’m saying nothing there, kid!” I joked, opening it up:
~
To The best step mum EVER,
You may have not been there when I was born, seen my first steps, heard my first word and all the palaver but all that means nothing, you had a choice in this matter and you chose to be there and care for me and that’s the important thing and something I am also forever grateful for. You look after me and mum and that’s all that matters. I may have been awfully annoying at the start and I (somewhat) apologise but you mean so much to me, you don’t understand. I love you so so much.
Your Fav x
~
I’m not crying. No. Wait. I am. “Bets. I don’t know what to say.” I sniffled, “you don’t have to say anything now what’s for tea, I’m starving!”. That kid and her food. “Takeout? What you saying Lise?” I inquired, placing the card next to Lisa’s. I take a moment to take it all in, looking at them both. This is my life now and I bloody well am enjoying it, “Well you know what I’ll want so as long as they sell it I’ll agree to anywhere!”, “sorry darling, they don’t have what you want - to see your naked girlfriend isn’t on the dinner menu, dessert menu maybe?!”, “mmmm, as I say the dirtier the better!” she flirted, grabbing my waist from behind, making me jump a little, “ugh - will you two get a room. Jesus!” the teenager gagged, “you know, just for you saying that…” I added, spinning round in Lisa’s arms, gaining full view of her precious face, snaking my hands round the back of her head, pulling her as close as I can but resisting the kiss, teasing her as much as possible until she pleaded “Car don’t!”, I left her lingering for a moment before going in for the kill, “that’s it. I’m leaving,” Betsy announced before swiftly heading to her room.
~
“Hey Bets, you finished getting ready? Going to head to see your mum now,” Lisa called out, “you sure you don’t want to come?”, “Nah, I’ll stay here, Betsy needs some quiet time with her mum, she’s had me for a bit now, Becky needs her.” “Love you,” The short blonde mouthed as she and Betsy exited the flat. The drive to the graveyard was long. It always feels like that. As usual, they got to the gates and rain started to come down heavy, “Typical. Way to set the mood, eh. I’ll stay here for a minute, go spend some time with mum, I love you.” Betsy stepped out of the car, hood on, umbrella unfastened and up, flowers in hand. The girl looked back at her mum in the car, tears forming in the corner of her eyes, “I don’t want to do this alone, will you come with me?” “Of course baby,”. The DS pulled her daughter close, wrapping her arm around her shoulder as they walked to the headstone.
‘Rebecca Swain - Died 2021 - beautiful Mum and Wife’
“Hi mum, Happy Mother’s Day, I got you these flowers. I hope you like them,” Betsy lamented, kneeling on the soggy grass, placing her free hand over the stone, “I miss you. College has been a nightmare. I’m so glad I leave soon. Carla’s been helping out a lot with it and with me too I guess. It’s been really hard without you. Carla’s trying to support me in learning to live with grief. She’s a wise one, you’d like her. She’s a great mum.” Lisa took a step back, turning slightly to hide her teary face, completely zoning out. ‘Mum - no step?!’ she thought ‘She really thinks that?’. Lisa had no idea how long she was thinking for but in that time, the sun had started to set so clearly it was getting late. “Back with us are you?” Betsy joshed, “shut up you or you’ll be walking back! Now come on before I do in-fact make you walk!”.
~
Lisa pov:
This feels right. I can’t wait to tell Carla about the half heard conversation. My new little family. The Swain-Connors. It works. It all feels so fucking right. I have no clue what’s to come but all I know is that it’s us 3 against the world - forever.