This Is Me Trying
Despite what he told James, Regulus didn’t have to talk to Pandora. But if Regulus was one thing, it was evasive. So, he was going to find Pandora and drag her with him to this lunch.
A few minutes into looking for her, he finds someone else. Someone he was desperately avoiding. Benji.
“Hey! Regulus!” Benji calls from behind him. Regulus tenses immediately.
“Hey…” Regulus responds tentatively as he turns around.
“How are you? How’s your boyfriend?” Benji asks curiously.
Regulus' eyes widen slightly. Right, Benji was there when he kissed James. “G-good. Yeah. We’re both good.” He manages to stammer out.
Regulus’ stammer doesn’t go unnoticed by Benji, whose smile falters slightly before returning to normal. “That’s great,” Benji says.
Regulus doesn’t know what else to say, and the silence stretches between them uncomfortably. Benji is the one to break it with another question.
“So…lunch?” Benji asks. “Do you want to sit together? I was thinking we could get a head start on the rhetorical analysis final. The one McGonagall mentioned yesterday.”
Regulus hesitates. He knows he should say no. But Benji’s expression is so hopeful that it makes his stomach twist. The thought of turning him down feels wrong. He forces himself to remember that the whole point of this fake relationship with James is to avoid exactly this kind of situation.
***
“I, uh…” Regulus starts, picking the skin around his nails. “I already told James I’d sit with him. Sorry.”
***
“Oh.” Benji says, his smile dropping slightly again. “That’s fine. Another time?”
“Yeah,” Regulus says, nodding. “Another time.”
Benji lingers for a moment longer, as if he wants to say something, but then he just waves and walks off down the hall. Regulus exhales sharply, hands trembling. He doesn’t have time to dwell on the interaction though. Right as he’s about to continue on, a familiar voice ring out from behind him.
“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Pandora comes bounding up to him, her hair flying widely around her face. “Why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?”
“Benji.” Regulus mutters. A look of understanding spreads across Pandora’s face.
“He’s still not over it, is he?” she asks.
“I don’t think he’s even started to get over it,” Regulus replies. “And I don’t know how to act around him now. It’s–just. It’s so awkward.”
Pandora tilts her head, studying him. “You’re really bad at this whole fake dating thing, you know that?”
“I didn’t exactly sign up for a masterclass.” Regulus snaps, but the corner of his mouth twitches upward despite himself. Pandora grins.
“Well, lucky for you, I’m here to help. Come on,” she says, linking her arm through his and steering him toward the courtyard. Let’s go find James and his group of annoying troublemakers, and Remus. I’ll make sure you don’t combust under the pressure.”
Regulus groans but lets her drag him along. When they reach the cafeteria, James is already there, sitting in the dead center of the table. Nearly the entire table is filled with people Regulus can scarcely remember the names of, except for one empty spot, right next to James and a girl he’s never met. Although, he thinks he’s seen her hanging around Lily Evans.
“Regulus!” James calls, beaming. “I saved you a spot!”
Regulus feels his cheeks heat up as James gestures to the empty space. Pandora gives him a little nudge and Regulus rolls his eyes. “Go on,” she whispers. “Play the part.”
He reluctantly takes a seat, and James leans in slightly, his hand brushing against Regulus’ arm. “You okay?” James asks quietly, his voice laced with concern.
“Fine,” Regulus mumbles, not trusting himself to say more. James doesn’t push but doesn’t move away either. The warm proximity is oddly comforting. Regulus brushes it off, thinking he might be getting sick.
“So, Reggie, what’s it like dating James? Is it as insufferable as I always imagined?” Sirius started, breaking the tension.
Regulus rolls his eyes. “Worse”
James squawks, offended. “Don’t lie Padfoot. You know you spend hours dreaming of me at night.”
Sirius sighs dreamily. “You’re so right Prongs. I wake up each morning disappointed that they are only dreams.” James laughs brightly as Sirius dramatically flings himself across James’ lap.
The girl next to Regulus leans toward him. “Let me know if you want to escape. They can get so much worse.” She whispers.
Regulus nods with a slight smirk. “I will. Regulus Black.” He introduces, extending a hand for her to shake.
“Mary Macdonald.” She replies with an identical smirk. “Pleasure to meet you. You play the piano, don’t you?”
Regulus, shocked, replies. “Yeah, how did you know?”
“I’ve seen you in the music room a couple of times on my way to the choreo room” She explains. “I practice ballet and can sometimes hear you playing. The walls aren’t very thick.”
Blush spreads across Regulus’ face. “Yeah…I forgot about that. Sometimes I hate this school.” He mutters bitterly. Mary chuckles.
“Don’t worry. You sound amazing. I normally use it to help me with my freestyle, so truthfully, you’ve been a big help for me.” She reassures him.
Regulus' face brightens slightly. He did always love getting compliments on his music. “Thank you.” Mary nods in response and toons back into the table’s conversation, which hasn’t changed from the dramatics of James and Sirius, which have only gotten worse since they turned away, but Regulus’ eye catches a figure lingering across the cafeteria.
Benji. He realizes. He had almost forgotten about their interaction in the hall.
Quickly he looks away, hoping Benji hadn’t noticed him, but based on the gaze he feels burning through his skin, it was too late.
Regulus was so fucked.