I Think He Knows

Regulus is so fucked.

Sirius is going to kill him.

But he can’t help thinking it’s worth it.

Because he’s kissing James Potter.

The James Potter he wrote a love letter to. The James Potter who looked unfairly good all the time. The James Potter who was his brother’s best friend.

At first, it was awkward. James had his eyes open and was frozen, but then he started moving hesitantly. Regulus had been expecting him to push him away and scream at him. Instead, he kissed him back. Regulus’ stomach actually fluttered.

The impending footsteps stopped the second they started kissing. Regulus almost forgot why he was doing what he was in the first place. Almost.

Benji cleared his throat behind them. Regulus pulled away from James at the noise, looking over at Benji. James stood still with lips parted in astonishment.

“So, this is new.” Benji started, disbelieving.

Regulus lets out a nervous laugh, “Yeah.” His heart pounds in his chest, hands twitching.

Crossing his arms across his chest, Benji asks, “Are you guys dating or something?” Looking pointedly at Regulus.

“Uh…”

James unfreezes and becomes aware of the situation at hand. Deciding to help Regulus, he puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him towards his chest lightly. Regulus flinches at the contact. “We are.” James states matter-of-factly. Regulus halts, not expecting James to say yes. “You got a problem with that.” Benji, picking up on the hostility, shakes his head. James smiles. “Good.”

Benji walks off with an envelope slightly crumpled in his hand. James drops his arm, eyes filling with worry. Regulus stares at him surprised, unable to form words.

“Are you okay?” James questions. “I’m sorry I touched you without checking first. I was just trying to get rid of him.” Regulus meekly nods.

“Why did you do that?” He asks. “You didn’t have to. I mean, I just kissed you with no explanation and you’re the one apologizing. If anything, I should apologize.”

“Sirius told me how you get uncomfortable with touch. Besides, it wasn’t a bad kiss and I’m sure you have a good reason.” James answers, optimistically. Regulus releases a huff of laughter leading to a fit. James joins in, tears forming in both their eyes. Their laughter slowly dies down and the realization of what they did hits.

“Sirius.” Regulus stresses.

“Shit.” James replies, fear in his eyes. The bell marking the end of lunch rings and Regulus jolts.

“We can talk about this later. At best, he won’t hear about this until tomorrow.” James looks at him unconvinced. “Hopefully. Meet at the picnic tables after school.” Regulus turns not waiting for a response.

James watches him leave. James’ fingertips lift to his lips as a puff of hair escapes them. Shaking his head he walks toward the building, ignoring the eyes lingering on his form.

-

Somehow, they got lucky and Sirius still hadn’t heard about their impromptu kiss in the parking lot, despite the many eyes that caught them. As agreed, they met up at the picnic tables right after the dismissal bell rang.

“First, you were never supposed to get that letter.” Regulus stated when James walked up to the table.

“Okay.” He looks at him skeptically, setting his bag on the grass and sitting on the bench.

“I wrote it years ago,” Regulus carries on, overlooking the fact that he wrote it freshman year and his feelings only changed recently, when he met Benji. “I don’t feel the same as I did then; ergo, you should pretend you never saw it in the first place.”

“Okay.”

Regulus' eyes widened in bewilderment. “Really? That’s it? No more questions?”

“Not about the letter you wrote to me.” James responds as Regulus’ shoulders sag with relief. “I do, however, have questions about the guy and the envelope he was holding.” Regulus’ shoulders tense right back up. “Was it a love letter, like mine?”

“Yes.” Regulus mutters.

“Wow. I thought I was special, but it turns out you wrote a love letter to someone else.” James jokingly says.

“Five.” Regulus grimaces. James' jaw drops.

“You wrote five love letters!” He yells. Regulus frantically shushes him. “Sorry. Really? Five?” Regulus nods. James gives him a disbelieving look.

“I did!” Regulus quietly shouts.

“Prove it. Who did you write the other ones to?” James asked.

Regulus scoffed, saying, “I’m not telling you.”

“Okay. So, I’ll just tell Sirius you wrote me a love letter?” James threatened, rising from the bench.

“No!” Regulus yelped, shooting his hands out to grab him. James sat back down and gestured for Regulus to continue.

Regulus grunted, muttering, “You, Benji Fenwick, someone I met in HHS, Barty, and…” he trailed off, James gave him a pointed look and he rolled his eyes, “Remus.”

“Remus!” James shouted, surprised, “But he and Sirius-“

“It was before they were together. Besides, I wouldn’t try and get in between them. Not that I could.” Regulus explains. James nods in agreement, glasses slipping down his nose. “Is that all?”

“I guess…” James responds while shoving his glasses back up his nose.

“Good.” Regulus voices, standing from the bench throwing his bag onto his shoulders. He starts walking in the direction of his car but is stopped by James running in front of him. “What?” Regulus questions, annoyed.

“What are you going to tell Barry-“

“Benji.” Regulis corrects.

“About us being together.” James asks.

“That were not.” Regulus says as if it was obvious.

“What if you didn’t tell him.” James suggests.

“I’m sorry?” Regulus chokes out. He never would’ve expected that.

“Yeah, what if you let him believe we’re together. What if everyone thought we were together.” James continues as if what he’s saying makes perfect sense.

“Why would you want that?” Regulus asks with suspicion clear in his voice.

“You know Lily Evans?” Regulus nods. “I’m quite infatuated with her and if she sees me dating someone else, she’ll want to get together.” James explains.

Regulus lets out a laugh, replying, “That’s not going to work.” Regulus moves around James and continues walking. James, persistent as ever, chases after him.

“You don’t know that, it might.” James insists, trailing after him.

Regulus stops abruptly, “Say it does work, what’s in it for me?” He questions, not expecting James to come up with a good reason.

“We’ll, first you wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of telling Brennan-“

“Benji.” Regulus corrects with a roll of his eyes.

“That’s what I said. Second, you would have the pleasure of my company.” He responds.

“That sounds like torture.” Regulus interrupts.

James looks down thinking. Then, a light bulb appears to go off in his head as he says, “I can help you get into Julliard.”

Regulus looks up sharply, “How?” He questions loudly.

“My dad has a friend who is on the admissions committee. He comes around every couple of months. I can put in a good word for you.” James smugly replies. Regulus huffs, conflicted.

Reluctantly, he nods his head. “Okay, I’ll do it.” James jumps, cheering. Rolling his eyes Regulus turns and walks back to the picnic table as James follows behind with a grin etched on his face.

“We’ll need a contract.” Regulus declares pulling out a paper and pen.

“A contract?” James raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“So we know where we stand.” Regulus explains undeterred. “First, we can’t tell anyone ever that this…relationship is fake.”

“Obviously.” James replies, gesturing for him to continue. Regulus rolls his eyes.

“Second, you aren’t allowed to kiss me.” He states.

“But you kissed me first!” James yells, incredulously.

“That was different.”

“How!”

“I was desperate.”

James gawks at him offended, but relents. “Then, I’ll have to hold your hand or something, because people won’t believe us if we don’t show any affection.”

“Fine. You can hold my hand when we are near other people. Only when we are near others.” Regulus instructs while writing down the rules they discussed. James nods. “Anything else?”

“You have to come with me to parties and my soccer games.” James replies as he fidgets with his bracelet.

“Then you have to pick me up before school everyday.” Regulus negotiates.

“Deal.” James accepts. “And you’re coming with me on the trip to France.”

“Why? That’s not for a couple of months? What if we’re done by then?” Regulus questions, not wanting to go on that trip.

“If we are done at that point, then you don’t have to go, but if we are…” he trails off.

“Fine.” Regulus huffs, writing down the extra rules and signing his name at the bottom. Sliding the paper and pen across the table, James takes it and signs his name under Regulus’.

“There. We’ll start tomorrow.” Regulus announced, putting the contract away and walking off.

“Bye!” James shouted after him. Regulus shot him a gesture over his shoulder, while James let out a breathless laugh.

-

Regulus pulled into the driveway sharply, jerking to a stop. Chucking his bag over his shoulder and running to the door. He shoves his keys into the lock, throwing the door wide open and slamming it shut. He greets Kreacher and runs up the stairs to his bedroom.

After a thorough search of his closet, he runs back down the stairs and shouts to Kreacher, “Kreacher! Have you seen a green box anywhere? It had letters in it.”

“No sir. Is it possible they were sent out when the renovations were being completed?” Kreacher responded. Regulus cursed under his breath. He knew he should’ve taken the box with him. Going back up the stairs for the hundredth time, he calls Pandora.

“Hey Reg!” Pandora greets happily through the phone.

“Hey Panda.” Regulus replies with significantly less enthusiasm. “I have a lot to catch you up on. Can you come over?”

-

After agreeing to come, Pandora rushed over. Regulus immediately dragged Pandora to his room by her arm, filling her in on the events of the past day.

“So, you wrote 5 letters that all got sent out.” Regulus nods. “And two of the recipients were James Potter and Benji Fenwick?” Regulus nods again. “And in trying to avoid James you ran into Benji, which led to you kissing James and becoming his fake boyfriend?” Regulus nods once more with a wince.

“When you say it like that it sounds a lot worse than what it is.” Regulus chimes. Pandora stares at him blankly. “I know. I know. But if I want to salvage Benji and I’s friendship, then I have to do this.”

Pandora gave him a critical look, wisely telling him, “That’s not all you want. You’re trying to avoid your problems, but you’re only creating more.” Regulus looks down like a scolded child. “Reg, you have to tell Benji the truth.”

“I will,” Regulus assures. Pandora smiles gratefully “Just not anytime soon.” He finishes. Pandora signs exasperatedly falling onto Regulus’ bed dramatically.

“Okay.” Pandora says after a moment. Regulus’ eyes shoot to her in surprise.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Pandora answers sitting up. “It’s your life. Plus, this might be good for you. Who knows.”  She offers him a bright smile that he returns. Grabbing his shoulders, she continues cheekily, “Now, tell me about this kiss.” Regulus rolls his eyes, holding back a smile. He tells her everything, even the small details.