Running to the Edge

There was blood on the ground, why was there blood on the ground? Her hands were soaked, oh god her hands were soaked. Everywhere she looked there where - m…r… y…u…e- thousands of bodies, Whose bodies were they. Why was there- M…y…l…s…w- blood, oh god blood. It was on her face. No it was- P…a…e…a…e- ph god they were dead. Everyone was dead. Who killed them? Who was touching her shoulder. Who was- Ma…as…ne…ou- her shoulder. Someone had her shoulders. Was she next? Oh god was the blood- ar…ak…up- hers. Was she- Mar…eas…you…cre…ing- already dead. She would never get to live her life. “Avada Ke-”

“No!” She screamed and gasped for air. She tried to get her breathing under control as someone was trying to console her. Her face was wet with tears.

“Shhh Mary, it’s all right, it was only a nightmare.” Oh it was Carrie. Just Carrie. Carrie, who was her best friend. Carrie who was no threat to her. Carrie who would never betray her like, like, like Peter. No not Peter, she didn’t know a Peter. God what was she talking about. Not like her best friend in London, Marlene. She slept with Mary's ex and that was why she felt the need to get a fresh start. And look at her now waking up Carrie with a stupid nightmare. “Was it about the guy?” Carrie had a kind smile on her face. The guy, that's what they called him just the guy. It’s not like he came up to them and gave him his name.

“No, it was something stupid. I guess that new Star Wars movie really got to me.” She tried to laugh it off. SHe would never tell Carrie, but she often had the same recurring nightmare. And it always starred the same people. She was always surrounded by blood, and bodies and she always felt like she was about to die. Sometimes the guy would be there. He would always have the same look on his face, like it pained him to be there. Most times Marlene was one of the bodies, it probably had something to do with her subconscious desire to kill her. There was always a pretty red head. She would turn to Mary and smile, leaving her knees weak. Mary would give a smile back and the red head would start running towards her. Her hair would fly behind her and she would almost be in Mary’s arms. But she would never make it. A green light would always enshroud her and she would fall limp to the floor. Mary would be helpless in that moment, watching the light leave her eyes, knowing that she was next. The dream would always end when the light was coming towards Mary, after everyone else was already gone.

Carrie was looking at her strangely. She must have been in her head too long. “I worry about you.” Everyone did, Mary worried about herself.

“You shouldn’t, I’m fine really.” She hoped she was convincing, but she didn’t even believe herself.

Carrie gave her a look over, her face clearly showing that she did not believe Mary, before she went back to her room.

Mary slowly worked herself out of bed before getting ready for class. She tried not to think too much about her dreams or the guy.

Alan was brill, really he was. But sometimes it felt like both of them were trying too hard to keep the relationship going. It didn’t feel natural. They would spend the day together, but the conversation wouldn’t flow. She felt like most of it was her fault. That something inside her was so broken that she could not form a normal human connection. She would look at him sometimes and feel nothing. He wasn’t Li- he wasn’t who she wanted to spend her life with. It didn’t matter; they had already been together for so long, it was comfortable. Not easy, never easy, but safe. Her other relationship wasn’t safe, why wasn’t it safe? She could hold his hand in public without worry, well too much worry. Even New York wasn’t perfect.

“Hey Darlin’.” Alan greeted with a kiss on her forehead, pulling her towards the present and out of her head.

“Hey.” She gave a slight smile as she looked at him. They sat in silence as they both ate their lunch. It was nice.

“So,” well it was nice. “I’ve been thinking.” That was never a good sign. “What if we played hookey the rest of the day and spent the day together.” He gave her that crooked grin, the one he had that reminded her of- that made her feel giddy.

“That would be aces, really, but I need to go to my classes today or I'll get too far behind.” Skip her classes, he wanted her to skip her classes. Was he a nutter? She couldn’t just go off with a guy, not when she had to study.

“Come on, you're smart enough to not need to go to class.” He had that same stupid grin.

“No, Alan. I tried to put it nicely, but I guess you're too thick. You can’t just compliment me to get you in your bed.”

“My bed, you're overreacting. I wasn’t asking you to bed, just to spend time. Is that too much? God you can be a real bitch. And I was complimenting you because, I think you’re actually pretty stellar, God forbid.”

“You arse. I’m a bitch for not wanting to skip classes and don’t act like the day wasn’t going to end with you begging me to come to yours.”

“I don’t beg, I ain’t ever been a beggar.”

“Well neither am I and I won’t beg for someone to respect me. So maybe we should be done.”

“There you go again, don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not.” He examines her face looking for some sign that she’s lying. His face softens when he realizes she’s being serious.

“Mary, darlin’, I was beining stupid. Look I get it, your studies are important to you, and I shouldn’t’ve said that. And I respect you truly.”

“Ain’t a beggar my arse.” She smirks at him as his face falls into that dopey grin.

“Bye darlin’” He says while giving her a hug and then giving her a peck on her lips.

She sat there for a few moments more thinking about Alan. She wouldn’t claim to love him, and maybe that made her a bad person, but she did deeply care for him. She didn’t think she would ever love, not again, not after last time. It had hurt too much. She took a deep breath as she collected herself and made her way to class.

Oh that smells amazing.” Mary was hit with the smell of pasta as soon as she entered the apartment.

“Thanks I’m making fettuccine. AlsoIhaveafriendcomingover.” The second part was too rushed to make out.

“What was that?”

“Oh, um I'm having a friend for dinner.” Her cheeks were flushed pink.

“A friend, hmm” Mary was smirking now. “This friend wouldn’t happen to be a bloke would he?” “Does it matter?” Her full face was pink now.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Mary smirked at her friend.

“Just try to be on your best behavior please.” Her voice had a pleading tone to it.

“Well, are you going to give me the 411 on him? “

“Okay, well, like he’s um cool. Tall, and handsome I guess.”

“You guess.”

“Okay he is handsome or at least he is to me. And he’s really nice and he talks all funny like. He is really smart too. Like really smart.”

“Hmm.” Mary walked off to her room to freshen up before dinner. She put on her Super Trooper album and changed into a new shirt. “All I do is eat and sleep and sing Wishing every show was the last show (wishing every show was the last show) So imagine I was glad to hear you're coming (glad to hear you're coming) Suddenly I feel all right (and suddenly it's gonna be) And it's gonna be so different when I'm-” A loud knock interrupted her impromptu performances. “Shit, one second.” She fumbled around her room and stopped the record. She went to open the door where Carrie was standing. “Um yes.”

“I was just going to let you know that my friend will be here in about five if you want to help me set the table.”

“Yeah of course.” Mary said, walking to the kitchen. She grabbed the silver ware as Carrie grabbed the plates. At seven on the dot there was a knock on the door. “Punctual fellow isn’t he.” Carrie just sent her a look and went to open the door.

“Hey.” Carrie said with a blush growing on her cheeks. She was right, he was a fit bloke. He had a charming smile and was quite tall. But his eyes were what stood out. Not because they were anything special, but because they looked old. Too old for someone who had to be near her age.

“Alright Carrie. How are you.” The man replied to Carrie. Mary understood what she meant when she said he talked funny. She thought her accent was thick, but his was hard for her to understand.

“Good, I’m good. Um, come in please. “ Carrie tried to keep her cool, but was failing. The man came into the apartment and made eye contact with her. A strange feeling came over her. He looked at her with a weird look on his face like the sight of her pained him. But she didn’t know this man, she hadn’t done anything to him.

“Ello, it's nice to meet you. Carrie has told me a lot about you.” Mary stepped forward to shake his hand. He pulled a smile on and shook her hand.

“It’s banging to meet ya.” He turned toward Carrie and followed her into the kitchen.

They ate dinner as Carrie and the guy talked. Mary sat there eating her food feeling like she was imposing. She had completely tuned them out but the conversation must be really interesting because they were really immersed in the conversation.

“What do you think Mary?” Carrie asked, getting her attention.

“Oh, um what was it?”She said sheepishly.

“Carrie was asking me to tell a story about my school days.” He said.

“Lets here em.” Mary said for Carrie's sake.

“In year 11 my friends and I were really annoying pricks. But see my mate he fancied this bird, who hated his guts. So my mates and I formed a plan to make her fall in love with him. I was friends with the bird and she had told me that she might give him a chance if he stopped all his grand gestures he had for her. He was overeager and prone to embarrassing her. So I told him that he needed an even bigger gesture. He got everyone that was in our house in our year to help him. We all gathered in the gr-in the dining hall and started singing. It was a song he wrote for her. At the end of it she insulted him and his whole lineage, and my mate just stood there dumbstruck. It was brill.” He finished telling the story with a pleased look on his face.

Mary was appalled. He sounded like an awful friend. He embarrassed both of them and didn’t sound ashamed at all. “All that story did was make you sound like an arse.”

“It made me look like an arse. Oh please, no one got hurt. Besides they ended up together. One of those stories written in the stars, believe me they were fine.”

“You betrayed both of them and their trust, I would have never trusted you again.” Mary was pissed now. How could he not see that what he did was wrong.

His face fell. “They didn’t.” He had a sullen look on his face. The air was thick with tension.

“Well I thought it was a funny story.” Carrie tried to ease the tension.

“Hmm.” Mary continued glaring at the guy.

“Thank you Carrie. I’m glad I can be appreciated.”

“What do you mean your friends didn’t appreciate being deceived.” Her voice laced with sarcasm.

“I didn’t deceive them, it was a joke. It wasn’t like I killed them.” He said the last part almost to himself.

“Are they even your friends anymore, or did they realize how horrible of a friend you were?”

“Were you some perfect friend, never deceived them, never argued, never lied.”

“No actually, I never purposely hurt my friends. The only time I had a falling out with a friend was when she cheated with my boyfriend.” His face twisted into a look of confusion.

“Boyfriend, who the hell slept with your boyfriend.” He said it in a mumble, but Mary was still able to make out what he said.

“That is none of your business.”

“Both of you shut up. Please just shut up. You both don’t have to like each other, but for the very least can you both just tolerate each other.” Carrie gave them both an exasperated look. They both turned to her and gave her a sheepish look.

“You’re right I’m sorry.” He held out his hand for Mary to shake. But Mary was nothing if not proud.

“I will get along with him for your sake, but I do not like you.” She looked him in his eyes as she said it.

Carrie rolled her eyes but went back to talking to her bloke. Mary quickly finished up her food and went to her room. She had a paper that was due on Monday and she had only just started. She played her Super Trooper record and went to work.

She was about half way through her paper when she heard a knock on her door. “Yes.” she hoped Carrie would hear her through the music.

“We made cookies if you want some.” A peace offering or more commonly known as a bribe. She groaned and turned off her record to go grab some cookies.

Carrie and her bloke were standing together smiling, although the bloke’s was more pained. She walked over to them and grabbed a cookie. She had to admit that they were pretty good. “These are the best cookies I've ever had besides like Effies.”

“Whose Effie?” Carrie asked why her bloke looked at her with what could only be described as horror.

“Hmm. I don’t know an Effie, why?”

“But you just said.” Carrie looked at her shaking her head, her sentence trailing off.

“So how long have you been in the U.S.” Mary turned towards the bloke trying to play nice.

“Not long, I’m um, visiting an old mate.” He had a guilty look on his face.

“For how long.”

“Well I don’t know yet, but you’ll probably be seeing me a lot.” That was vague as fuck.

“Why don’t you bring your friend around.” Carrie pipes up.

“Oh, I don’t think that's a good idea.” Was this mate more than a mate. He’s being pretty vague.

“Is this mate your girlfriend?” Mary asked with a bite to her tone.

“No, no, nothing like that, my mate’s just not social.” He rushed through the sentence making his accent even thicker, which Mary didn’t think was possible.

Mary was about to interrogate him again when a knock came from the front door.

“Are you expecting anyone?” She asked Carrie, who shook her head.

She walked over to the door and looked through the peek hole but didn’t see anyone. So she carefully opened the door. When she saw who it was she slammed the door as quickly as she could and screamed.