Friday 11th November, 1977
The Great Hall was, probably, Lily’s favourite place in Hogwarts. Today, at least. Sitting at the Gryffindor table, half-way between the centre and the end, with her best friends as they all eat and gossip has become one of the things she holds near and dear to her. Marlene is currently raving about Quidditch and their upcoming match against Hufflepuff. Usually, when Marlene is on full rant-mode about Quidditch, Lily zones out completely. However she keeps mentioning “Potter and Sirius” and her interest is piqued wholeheartedly.
“No, really Mary, if Potter can just do exactly what he did in practice yesterday - that awesome trick with Sirius was so well done oh my- anyway we absolutely have this game - you’ll see what I mean.” If she wasn’t so conscious of their ears listening in on the conversation, Lily might’ve asked what trick Marlene was going on and on about. But she can’t have him - or worse, Sirius - knowing that she wants to hear about James’ Quidditch skills. She can’t be blamed, not really, not when he looks so good in his uniform, not when he looks like he is completely in his element when he’s 50 feet in the air on his broom. No. Lily cannot be blamed for wanting to know what the hell Marlene is talking about, but she cannot wait to see it on Saturday.
“Lily.” Remus speaks softly from behind her causing her to turn around slightly to look at him. It’s a full moon tonight and she has told him countless times already to go to his dorm and sleep. She could tell just by looking at him for a few seconds that he’s hurting. He has a wonky-looking posture and he’s leaning on his left side more than his right.
“Remus!” Lily exclaims, excitedly, but it does not hide the worry in her expression well enough for him to not notice. He gestures for her to leave the Great Hall with him and she complies without hesitation. As she’s picking up her bag and saying goodbye to her friends softly she overhears James, Peter and Sirius discussing the next Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. All seventh years are learning patronuses and they’re the only ones, including Remus, who have managed to do the spell. James, a stag, Peter, a rat, Sirius, a big dog, and Remus who has a wolf patronus, as if that isn’t obvious. She hears whispers of dungbombs and the colour blue and shakes her head disapprovingly.
Once Remus and Lily are outside the Great Hall, Remus keeps walking slowly in the direction of the Hospital Wing. “I’m going to Madame Pomfrey early today, I don’t think I can go a few more hours like this, Lily.” He can’t look her in the eye, she notices. She also thinks it’s rather strange he brought her along with him but chooses to not voice that thought.
“That’s good, Remus. Not the pain, but that you’re not pushing yourself too hard. Honestly, I don’t know how you do this every month. I would’ve stayed in bed all day if I was you.” She finished off with a chuckle, one that was not reciprocated. Lily looks at him, concern etched on her face as she turns his face to look at her. His face is littered with scars, ones she knows he’s insecure about and she avoids looking at them too long as she scans over his appearance. “Is everything alright, Remus? You’re acting strange.”
He sighs lightly, removing her hands from his face and looks to the floor, then continues walking towards the Hospital Wing. “It’s Sirius… And me-”
“Oh my god it is about damn time.” She cuts him off, flashing him an endearing smile. He stops walking and looks at her in shock, as if they were being discreet about their feelings for eachother. “Did you really think people wouldn’t notice, or at least that I wouldn’t notice? You guys aren’t exactly masters of secrecy.”
“Wait, so you don’t mind?” He questions, his initial shock not quite passing yet. She flicks his nose and rolls her eyes, followed by a quiet tutting noise.
“Why on Earth would I mind? You know Mary and I used to be together, right?” Lily asks, almost offended at the look of surprise on his face at this apparent new found knowledge. She gasps lightheartedly, “Come on, we were public!”
“I thought you guys were just really good friends…” He defended himself sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully, muttering something about “Sirius” and “Good friends”.
They changed topics to school and their NEWTs as they continued the journey to the Hospital Wing. A few steps away from the entrance, Sirius arrived huffing and panting. “I want- I wanted to- Drop you off-” He struggled to speak between breaths, “Oh, hi Lily!” She responded with a small wave which had him grinning. “I wanted to drop you off at the Hospital Wing.” He finally got out, directing his statement to Remus, side-eyeing Lily as he did so. She took the hint and said a quick goodbye to the both of them and headed to the DADA classroom.
The few months since they had returned to Hogwarts from the summer, every seventh year student has been learning the Patronus charm. You would have to be either stupid, living under a rock, or simply ignoring the Daily Prophet, to not understand why they’re learning such a complex spell that most adults can’t do successfully. It is because, of course, the “Dark Lord” - as they call him - has the Dementors that are supposed to be guarding Azkaban on his side. And, as they have learned, the Patronus charm repels a Dementor.
Now, Lily prides herself on being good at charms and spells. She may be a muggleborn - as she is so often reminded by her peers - but she is a damn good witch. Originally, she spent so much time studying and practising spells because it was what she did in muggle primary school. That, and learning all about magic was just so fascinating to an eleven year old who only ever knew about magic through books and storytelling. But, with the judgement she received from many students at Hogwarts, she wanted to prove her worth. Lily wanted to prove to everyone - she wanted to prove to herself - that this is where she belongs. This is who she is. A witch.
However, the Patronus Charm is extremely difficult, and she has not managed more than a few silver wisps that came out of the end of her wand. Of course, she isn't the only one who hasn’t managed to successfully create a patronus, but James, Sirius, Peter and Remus have all conjured theirs. And they were corporeal! If there was one thing Lily hated, it was being beaten in education by people who do not study to even be as good as they are. It’s in their genes or something, and she hates that she cannot be as smart as them.
When Lily arrived at the classroom, she was a few minutes early. She entered and sat in her usual seat and read over the textbook to figure out what she was doing wrong. Surely it’s not the wand movement. That was easy to master. Drawing circles with her wand? Easy. That only left the memory she was using. All memories with Severus were tainted, so she knew that wasn’t going to work. Lily had tried her favourite memories with her sister, Petunia, but she hasn’t been the kindest to Lily recently and those happy memories haven’t been feeling so good lately. Then, there were all of the fun moments she has had here at Hogwarts with Mary and Marlene. That is what got the wisps.
Why were those memories not good enough, is what Lily wanted to know. It was the happiest she had ever felt - to be running around Hogsmeade with her favourite people - the picnics they have after exams as a reward for their hard work studying and practising spells together - staying up until 3 in the morning talking and gossiping about anything and anyone. What do those four troublesome boys have that she does not?
“You can imagine a scenario, you know? For your patronus.” Lily startled, quickly turning around to see who interrupted her thoughts. Beside her stood a boy with messy brown hair and lop-sided glasses on his face. James Potter. He was halfway through ruffling his hair before he stopped sheepishly and put his hand in his trouser pocket. God, her thoughts were going in so many different directions she forgot what he had said. She wished he didn’t stop ruffling his hair, but she couldn’t deny that he did not look good standing half-slumped with his hands in his front pockets.
“Huh?” She asked, confused, when she finally got a hold of herself. Her desk became desperately interesting and she began organising it as he repeated what he said. “Oh, that works?” He nodded, a charming grin gracing his face. “It doesn’t say that in the textbook though…”
James sighed before shrugging, “It works for me.” And with that he walked off back to his seat. She stared at where he stood for a few more seconds before reorganising her desk to what it was before James was there. Lily shook her head discretely to keep her focused. She can’t be letting a boy, Potter at that, to distract her from her studies.
Too busy reading the textbook, she didn’t notice the rest of the class had entered until the professor did and she finally looked up. “We will be continuing to practise our Patronuses today.” Lily sat up straighter, a look of determination across her features. “Mr Potter, would you like to demonstrate how it is done?” And she’s slouching. Of course he would pick Potter, he’s one of the only people able to do the spell.
James jumped out of his seat and walked to the front. Lily is certain he walked by her desk on purpose, especially given the note he dropped on her lap. James does the incantation and a glowing, silver stag struts around the room - surprising Lily when it stops beside her to almost snuggle into her.
“That was great! A perfect patronus once again Mr Potter!” Their professor boasted about James, clapping for him. Lily would’ve joined in if she was not so shocked that his patronus gravitated towards her. Yeah, he has always tried asking her out. And she has always said no. But she didn’t think he was genuinely interested in her. She’s not exactly seen herself as pretty like Marlene and Mary are. Why would he actually be interested in her?
Soon enough it was Lily’s turn to attempt the Patronus charm. No one else other than James, Sirius and Peter had been able to do the spell successfully in this class. She quickly looked at the note James gave her one more time before making her way to the front of the class.
Lily’s eyes close, focusing completely on creating a scenario in her head. She’s not sure what would make her happier than anything she’s ever felt with Mary and Marlene. But, surely James would have used his memories with his friends if it worked. He has plenty of happy memories with them. Oh, now she’s thinking of James again. God, his perfectly messy hair and stupid eyes and wonky glasses are infecting her brain. Before she can stop herself, she’s imagining him on the Quidditch field, winning the house cup. And his smile, his perfect, wide grin. He kisses her. They hold hands all the way back to the common room where there is already a party on the go.
Collective gasps from her peers are what snap her out of the scenario she unknowingly created, and she opened her eyes just in time to see a glowing, silver doe prancing over to James before it disappears. A doe. James’ patronus is a stag. Oh Merlin, save her now. The class is silent. No applause. Everyone is in shock, much like Lily. How on Earth is Lily “piss off Potter” Evans’ patronus a doe, the animal that matches James “go out with me Evans” Potter’s stag.
She makes her way back to her desk, bowing her head so it's facing the floor but she's still able to see where she is walking. Once sat, she looks up and meets James’ eye. He could not take his eyes off her, the genuine look of shock in his features is enough to make Lily look away with flushed cheeks. Eventually, the professor calls another student up to try the Patronus charm and the class goes on. But Lily’s mind is stuck on the fact her and James’ patronuses compliment each other. She can’t like him. She can’t love him. She just can’t. Oh, but she wants to. How can she deny her feelings for him any longer? And for once, Lily isn’t focusing on class, but on her thoughts. On him.
When the class finally ends, she’s out the door before anyone can even acknowledge the class ending. Thankfully for Lily, it was the last lesson of the day and she practically runs to her dorm to hide from - quite literally - everyone. Marlene and Mary enter not long after she’s buried herself in her bed - or her grave, as she told her best friends. They teased her relentlessly until they finally left and joined the commotion down in the common room.
For days after the DADA class, she heard countless people gossiping - she would be a fool to pretend it wasn’t about her - and occasionally heard stories about Potter freaking out over the class and her patronus. He asked her out at dinner again. And this time, she said yes.