Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

Third Year was supposed to be calm. His first peaceful year since entering the wizarding world. One year there was no “dead” Dark Lord trying to kill him. He should have been more specific, he supposed, there was no Dark Lord this year. Only an escaped convict hell bent on hunting him down and finishing the Dark Lord’s botched murder.
Well, at least that’s what the majority of the wizarding population thought. He, and his odd little family he had built around himself, knew that said escaped convict was in fact his godfather, and had no intentions of murdering him. But no matter how many times he tried to tell people the truth, he was met with scoffs and condescending ‘you can’t live in denial forever Harry, you have to protect yourself’ s. So yeah, maybe letting them think his life was in danger would somehow lead him to a more peaceful year.

He shuddered as he walked into the front hall from the courtyard. Dementors. Maybe a not so peaceful year after all. He made his way quickly to the dungeons, his…Severus would have hot chocolate waiting for him. He always knew how to cheer him, and after a long quidditch practice cheering up was exactly what he needed. And maybe some good news about his godfather.
He passed a few slytherin students and waved with a small smile, three years had only afforded him a few friends, mostly the boys he had shared a dorm with, Draco and Blaise and Theo. Crabbe and Goyle were only kinda,,, there. He shook off the thoughts and knocked on Snape’s office door and pushed it open when he heard a quiet ‘come in’.

“Harry.” A smile instantly took over Harry’s face when he saw Severus and he made his way over to the couch in front of the fire, where a mug of hot chocolate was in fact waiting for him. “I take it this practice wasn’t much better than the others?” Severus’ quiet voice drawled with a hint of amusement when he saw the state of his charge’s robes and hair. Windblown.

“No. Those dementors feel like they keep getting closer and closer every time I go outside, I’m surprised they haven’t canceled quidditch all together this year. It can;t be safe for students to be outside when they’re so close, can it? I mean, I’ve read up about them plenty and the fact that they are used to guard the most dangerous people in our world. You’d think they would want to keep them as far from students as possible.” Harry began to rant, rambling on as he noticed Severus put his grading to the side and focused his attention on him. That was another thing he liked about severus, he always gave him his full attention, no matter what he was talking about it. It made him feel important, and seen unlike how any other adult in his life had made him feel.

“Several other professors and I share your views,” He says when Harry finally takes a moment to sip his drink and melt into the sofa, “We have gone to the headmaster with our worries and stories of students falling ill due to the presence of the dementors.” Harry could feel the ‘but’ coming. “But Albus insists that the students are safe, and that nothing can be done about them.”

Harry groans and lets his head hit the back of the sofa. Dumbledore thought a lot of things. And many of them no one knew. Secretive bastard. He peeks one eye open to look at Severus and grins at the exasperated look he sees at his own childish actions. Severus never reprimanded him for simple things like this. A few huffs and eye rolls were no longer met with violence and isolation. Of course Harry never got away with being outright disrespectful, and at times he was very thankful for Severus’ firm stance at rules. It was nice to have someone to guide him, instead of setting him up for failure and then letting him go wild.

“Surely someone in the Ministry can help us? Doesn't Mr Malfoy have good connections there? He could get us a meeting with someone to take the horrible things away.” He wouldn’t say he was pouting per say, but he definitely looked much younger than thirteen at the moment.

“Lucius has many connections, unfortunately not many of them are willing to go above Albus’ head and make choices for the school without his input.” Their conversation was interrupted by the chime of the clock and Harry sighed. DInner was soon, and they couldn’t afford to hide out in Severus’ office anymore this year. They'd already been summoned to the headmaster’s office three times for skipping school events and gatherings to spend time together. Dumbledore had threatened to ban their meetings altogether. Harry wasn’t sure why he seemed to oppose his and Severus’ relationship so much, he had been the one to push the two of them into actually talking to each other. And since the end of first year they had been inseparable. Severus had even taken legal guardianship of Harry, after finding out about his life with the Dursely’s. That alone had made Severus the best man in the world to Harry. That thought was only solidified as they got to know each other and Severus proved to be one of the most understanding people Harry had ever met. Someone he could feel safe with, someone who believed in him but never expected him to be some hero. Some boy-who-lived. He could be, Just Harry.

“Come along, child. If we miss this meal I am sure Albus will call for my resignation.” Another thing he enjoyed learning, Harry thought as he followed Severus up to the Great Hall, was his strange sense of humor. It was dry and oftentimes people thought he was just a negative person. It was probably his tone, Harry mused as he gave Severus a quick hug before making his way to the Ravenclaw table. He might be in Slytherin but he always spent at least two dinners a week sitting with Luna at the Ravenclaw table. He had met the girl last year and it was clear that she wouldn’t make many friends on her own, so he had adopted her into his little friend group and she had flourished with them. She was a nice balance to Theo and Herminoe, their token Gryffindor friend. He was oblivious to the blue eyes of the headmaster watching him closely. Which was probably for the best, each time the two of them had a conversation it ended in an argument and Harry left with many many more questions than answers. He broke out of his conversation with Luna when Draco sat next to him and Blaise across from them next to Luna.

“Hey Dray, Blaze. Sorry I ran out on you after practice, I had to meet Sev.” He grins easily at the two of them and soon all four of them were deep in a debate about the morality of keeping prisoners under lock and key with the dementors. Which would typically be a heavy conversation for three third years and a second year, but as each of them was born into a rather important pureblood family they each, bar Harry but he was learning, had grown up with this kind of conversation being the normal.

“Mother thinks that Britain is very backwards in their legislation and laws regarding magic in general, the Italian ministry is far less strict in their terms of light and dark beings, and even they think the use of Dementors in the prison system is entirely inhumane.” Blaise finally adds before a shadow falls over their small group and Harry looks up to see Dumbledore standing over them. Another look around made it clear that the rest of the school was watching them. Why was it always him? Harry glanced up at the staff table to see Severus standing from his seat with a pinched look on his face.

“Mr Potter,” Dumbledore starts, that annoying twinkle in eye as he looked down his nose at their group, “do you think that is appropriate dinner conversation? To speculate on our government?” Harry just stared at him, momentarily stunned. It almost sounded as if the headmaster was accusing him of something.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean, Headmaster.” He says slowly, keeping his tone even and as polite as possible.

“We all know how the last person to question our government the way you are right now ended up.” Harry knew he was definitely being accused of something now.

“No sir, we do not all know how the last person ended up. Please, enlighten me.” His voice was decidedly less polite now as he stood, wanting to be on even foot as the headmaster. The entire school was bouncing their heads between the two of them. Like they were watching an interesting match of tennis.

“I waited too long last time. I will not make the same mistakes again, I will not allow this to happen in my school. I will not allow another student to lead others down the wrong path, the dark path.” The twinkle was long gone from his eye, the happy grandfather look he always put on melting away to show Albus Dumbledore, defeater of Dark magic. Warlock.

Harry glared sight back at him as he felt his small restraint snapping. “Why is it your school? Why am I always in the wrong?” His voice carried across the hall and many people flinched at his tone, his disrespect to the Headmaster. More than his tone, people could feel his magic, swirling first inside his chest and then around his feet. ”Why do I have to listen to you when you have zero say? Because I'm young? All my life I've been ‘young’.” The mocking lit to that last word almost made the Headmaster reel back.

“But never young enough, eh old man? Too young to question our government but not too young to face the Dark Lord alone. Too young to wonder about change but not too young for you to lead me down to the Chamber of Secrets and hope for the best?” the Slytherin table hissed quietly at the reminder of last year, of going crazy with worry over Harry’s disappearance. The rest of the school, remembering hearing the story from their friends, glancing at Dumbledore at the implication that he had pushed Harry to go down there alone.

“This school is lost, if you ask me. You're lost. But everybody talks to me like I'm the one. I should change. Why should I change? I've never even gotten to find out who I am and you want me to change? That's crazy!” Harry threw his hands in the air and Dumbledore stumbled back, feeling the overwhelming strength and desperation of Harry’s magic pushing at him. Severus had stepped around the staff table, wanting to go to Harry, wanting to take him away from this argument. This scolding. Though it was clear that the boy could handle his own. He didn’t know if anyone else could hear the shake in his voice. Could anyone else feel how close his boy was to tears?

“You tell me I'm Dark before I even get to be anything. What the hell is that? Original sin or something?” (Hermione was secretly pleased with Harry being so well read). “I've read Plato. I read him on a park bench in Surrey and let me tell you something. Plato wasn't afraid. Diogenes wasn't afraid. Socrates wasn't afraid of anything. Least of all change. They were men.” Minerva wanted to laugh at the thought of Albus being afraid of anything, but she’d been at his side long enough to know that he was. He was afraid of not being in charge, of being the less powerful one. Of not knowing everything. Refocusing on Harry she could see the way lightning danced between strands of his hair and how each step he took closer to Albus was aided by the floor warping under his feet to move him faster, smoother.

“Why are you the headmaster and I'm the student? Do you understand? I have to earn your respect but you don't have to earn mine? What is that? It's you that wants honesty and trust from your ‘allies’ before you even start. But when I ask the same thing of you, I'm nuts, right?” Harry saw Dumbeldore reach for his wand and waved his hand casually, summoning it straight from his hand and snapping it, causing a ripple of shock through the students and staff. He didn’t care about that though. He didn’t care about his own magic flowing around them, he didnt care about the consequences of snapping his headmaster's wand. He only cared about holding it together, just a moment longer.

“I'm not gonna cry.” His voice audibly cracked even though he had spoken quieter, and Severus was right there, a hand on his shoulder and Harry finally felt himself begin to calm down, leaning back into the comforting touch.

”I'm gonna find my place in this world, count on it.” He spits at Dumbledore and watches with satisfaction as the green, blue, red, and yellow cords that usually connected the headmaster to Hogwarts Magic began to snap. “And this, this school has been a miracle for me, but not because of you, because somebody, Professor Snape, finally saw me.” He thought maybe he could feel Severus’ chest puff up at that. “And more than that, somebody, a grown person, decided I was good before I was good. And you wanna throw me out of that? Then you know what I say? I've never seen your magic. And I reckon I never will.” With those final words all ties Dumbeldore had to the Hogwarts Magic was cut, his own personal magical core flickering at the sudden ripping of ancient magic from him. He stared at Harry with wide fearful eyes. He had underestimated someone again. The pure magical energy pouring from the boy was overwhelming and suffocating, smothering even the latent magic of the founders in the great hall.

“Goodbye Albus Dumbledore. Your time manipulating fate is over.”