Chapter 2
Sirius stood on the sidewalk below, looking more stunning than ever. His shoulder-length hair was tousled by the breeze, and a pair of sunglasses perched atop his head added a touch of casual cool to his appearance. He looked happier than Remus have ever seen him and something heavy settled in Remus´s chest.
Sirius laughed carefree, as he struggled to rein in a gigantic black dog who seemed determined to drag him down the street.
“Padfoot, come on!” said Sirius amused. His voice was as loud as always, and it carried all the way to Remus´s window.
Remus´s heart gave a twist, with a mixture of longing and admiration. Sirius had changed so much since they had last been together—more carefree, more alive, more himself than Remus had ever seen him.
And in that moment, as he watched Sirius wrestle with the unruly dog, Remus realized with a pang of regret just how much he had missed his ex-boyfriend's infectious laughter and vibrant energy.
As expected, James and Regulus arrived later. Remus saw their shared car from his window. Sirius had gone into the building, and he had heard his door shut. James and Regulus were probably there to help him unpack. To Remus dismay he heads a soft know in his own door.
“Shit.” Remus thought to himself. “Please let it be home delivery and not James”
But didn´t have such luck.
"Hiya, Moony," James said cheerfully as always. "We're all over at Sirius's place, helping him unpack. We thought it would be nice to have dinner together. You want to join us?"
Remus felt a void form in his stomach.
"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea," Remus admitted reluctantly. "I mean, it's Sirius's first day back, and I'm not sure he'd want to see his ex-boyfriend right away."
James gave him a mischievous smile. “Oh, trust me, he´d be thrilled to see you.”
Remus confusion was evident. James laughed.
Remus chewed on his lower lip, torn between his conflicting emotions. He knew James meant well, but the thought of facing Sirius after all this time filled him with a sense of unease. Still, a part of him couldn't shake the longing to see Sirius again, to hear his voice and bask in his presence, if only for a little while.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, Remus. You know Sirius. He would love to have you over. He is so excited to be back, and I can´t wait for you to see his hair!”
Remus didn´t confessed that he and already seen him through the window. James didn´t need to know he was that pathetic. Still, he wasn´t sure if Sirius wanted him there or rather James and Regulus had forced him to invite Remus over.
At last Remus made up his mind. “I think I better not, Prongs.” he said with a sigh. “Thanks tho. And tell Sirius I say hi.”
James's expression fell, disappointment evident in his eyes. "Oh, okay," he said softly.
Fuck. Remus hated when James gave him that sad deer eyes. James returned to Sirius´s apartment looking defeated and leaving Remus with a heavy heart.
Remus returned to his work and tried to forget about the dinner that was taking place just across the hall. Twenty minutes in, another soft knock interrupted him once again.
He knew it was Regulus. He would try to convince him as well and probably demand an apologise for James.
“Reggie I-”
Sirius stood in front of him with wide eyes and his mouth slightly opened. For a moment, both boys just... stared at each other; as if it were the first time, they were meeting.
In a way it was.
“Not Reggie, sorry.” said Sirius with a nervous smile.
“Oh.” was the only thing Remus could manage.
He could hardly believe his eyes, Sirius, standing before him in the flesh looking prettier than ever.
“Hi.” said Sirius with a soft blush dusting his cheeks and a goofy smile.
Remus's heart skipped a beat. “Hi.” he answered flabbergasted.
“Hi.” Sirius giggled.
Remus took in a shaky breath. He couldn't help but notice the way Sirius's eyes lingered on him, as if drinking in every detail of his appearance.
“You look good Moons.” smiled softly Sirius, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.
Shit. Remus wanted to cry, he hadn´t heard that nickname in years. Only Sirius called him Moons; and he always said it in such and adoring way. Even now.
“James told me you didn´t...” trailed off Sirius, looking deeply into Remus´s eyes.
“No, I thought you might be more...” trailed off Remus.
“I´d love it if you...”
“Yeah?” asked Remus, his pulse quickening.
“Yeah.” Sirius said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I don´t think it would be...”
“Oh. I understand.” said Sirius deflating visibly. Sirius turned on his heels and made his way to his door. His hand lingered in the doorknob.
“I hope we can talk soon, Remus.” he called over his shoulder. Remus could see the hint of a sad smile. “I´ve missed you so much.”
For a moment, Remus was rendered speechless, his mind racing as he struggled to find the right words. But then, a warm smile spread across his face. “Fuck it, is fine” he thought.
“Sirius!” he called, and Sirius snapped his head with hopeful eyes. “Lemme grab another layer and I´ll come.”
.0.
As Remus stepped into Sirius's apartment, he was greeted by the sight of mostly cardboard boxes scattered haphazardly around the room. Despite the disarray, a few items had been unpacked and placed on makeshift shelves—a stack of books here, a picture frame there. Remus knew once Sirius was done packing the space would feel warm and inviting, a reflection of Sirius's eclectic taste and vibrant personality.
"Sorry about the mess," Sirius said sheepishly, gesturing towards the boxes. "I haven't had much time to unpack yet."
“I have the feeling Reggie's was the only one unpacking.” teased Remus.
“You wound me, Remus.” laughed Sirius.
God had Remus missed that laugh.
Suddenly Sirius eyes beamed with excitement. "Oh! this is Padfoot," Sirius said proudly, patting the dog's head affectionately. The dog huffed and went back to sleep. "He's practically my best friend-”
“I heard that!” called James from the kitchen.
“I adopted him in Vancouver."
“Nice.” Remus nodded in acknowledgment, offering his hand for Padfoot to sniff. The dog seemed to take an instant liking to him, wagging his tail enthusiastically as he nuzzled Remus's hand.
“Huh.” Sirius said. “He never greets me like that.” he crouched to take Padfoot's muzzle in between his hands “you ungrateful git.”
Padfoot licked his cheek and Sirius laughed. “Okay, I forgive you.”
As the evening progressed, Remus, James, Regulus, and Sirius sat around the dining table, sharing stories and catching up on each other's lives. Despite a few awkward moments, the conversation flowed easily, fuelled by laughter and good-natured banter.
But amidst the light-hearted chatter, there were moments when Sirius's gaze lingered a little too long. “So, Remus," Sirius said suddenly "What have you been up to since we last saw each other?"
"Oh, you know, the usual," he replied casually, avoiding Sirius's eyes. "Work, mostly. Nothing too exciting."
But Sirius wasn't satisfied with his vague answer. “Have you been seen someone?”
“So subtle, Sirius.” complained his brother.
“Well, baby brother-”
“Don´t call me that.” protested Regulus.
Sirius ignored him. “I came back a wiser man and I have a lot of time to think what I want in my life.” Sirius leaned forward, he locked eyes with Remus and the tall man could only gulp as the grey eyes scrutinized him. “And now I´m sure about what I want in my life, that is if they want it too.”
“They? Remus is right here mate.” interrupted James, exasperated.
“I...” said Remus standing up. Sirius stood up as well and they stared at each other. “I better get going.”
Remus hurried to the door as if the apartment was on fire.
“Remus!” called Sirius before Remus could shut the door from his own apartment. Sirius stood in the middle of the hall as if afraid that Remus would shut the door if he came any closer. “I´m sorry for laying all that so soon. I understand you need time, but I was completely honest when I said I missed you and I... I learned a lot abroad; I don´t regret going but I do regret letting you go.”
“Thanks Pads.” said Remus breathlessly. “Is a lot.”
“Of course.” said Sirius with a sad smile looking at the floor as if he was a scolded little kid.
“You are not a lot, Sirius.” Assured Remus. “But the information is.”
“I understand.”
God, Remus hated Sirius sad and resigned smile. But at the moment he didn´t have any other answer.
“Goodnight Sirius.”
“See ya, Moons.” Sirius did a little wave that reminded Remus when they were on boarding school and Sirius had to go his house for the holidays,
“Just for the record... I missed you too, Pads.”
Sirius eyes snapped back up and he smile beaming. Remus closed his door. He sighted and a smile appeared on his face without Remus being able to do anything to stop it, although Remus wasn´t mad about it.