The windows rattled loudly, rousing him from the light slumber he had fallen to. Once again reminding him of the darkness of his bedroom, nails scraping against the window, then the glass broke and someone climbed in. Remus opened his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. Just a dream, he reminded himself, it was nothing but a stupid memory. He looked around, though could barely see, the curtains were closed around their bed, and it was dark apart from the small sliver of moonlight he could see.
“ ‘s just the wind, Re.” Sirius mumbled sleepily, pulling him out of his thoughts for a moment. Sirius tightened the arm that was draped over his waist, face burrowing more into the back of his neck to fall back asleep, and provide at least some comfort. Remus nodded, holding his hand over Sirius', lacing their fingers together from the top.
He knew it was just the wind. He knew that. But he couldn't help thinking what if? What if something happened while he was sleeping? Happened before why wouldn't it happen again? Remus closed his eyes, trying to block away the sound, but it just got louder and louder as the minutes passed, bringing tears to his eyes.
He heard the sheets rustle as Sirius shifted behind him, Remus hoped he was moving only to get more comfortable so he could fall back to sleep. But soon he felt Sirius' chin rest on his shoulder, meaning he had woken up properly, which only made Remus feel worse. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, voice thick with sleep, but he sounded worried.
“Nothing.” He whispered, voice weak and quiet, wavering with tears. “You can sleep.”
“You're not.” He said. “I don't want you to be awake all alone, especially if you're upset.”
“M’not upset.”
“Okay, love.” Sirius whispered. “Look at me?” Remus turned to lay on his back so he could look at him, Sirius was laying on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “What's wrong rem?”
“It's loud.”
“What is?” He asked, watching as Remus glanced at the window, or where it was behind the curtains. “The wind?” He asked after a moment, and Remus nodded. “Did that wake you up?”
“Never slept.”
Sirius frowned, brushing Remus' hair back. “If you can't sleep, you can wake me up, y'know. I don't mind being awake.” He whispered. “Not if it's for you.” he smiled then, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
“Mm, but you've got quidditch in the mornin’” he mumbled. “Against Slytherin in a week, Sirius. You should sleep.”
“Slytherins are easy.” He grinned. “It's just one practice anyway. But, I still don't mind. I don't want you to be awake all alone.”
“But-”
Sirius just shook his head. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked then, continuing to play with Remus' hair, hoping it would somehow make him feel better.
“Talk about what?” Remus asked quietly, looking away again. “Nothing to talk about.”
“Why can't you sleep?” He whispered softly. “Why's the wind bothering you so much, usually doesn't love.”
“Just memories.” He said. “It's nothing.”
“It's not.” He said. “If it upsets you, it's not nothing. I wanna hear, baby. If you wanna talk, I want to listen, I wanna help you.”
“It's my birthday tomorrow.” He whispered, turning to look at Sirius, who had laid down on his side, head resting on the pillow. Sirius nodded, taking Remus' hand, prompting him to continue. “Then it's um- 12 years since I-.” He trailed off, looking at Sirius with tears in his eyes, who just reached to wipe away the single tear that fell. “I was five.”
“What happened?” Sirius asked quietly, He had never heard the boy talk about this, he had briefly mentioned that night all those years ago, but after that, he had never talked about it. He could only imagine how much the memory bothered him, especially now.
“I-it was a night like this. All windy and rainy, it kept waking me up. An' I was so excited for my birthday then that I just couldn't sleep.” Remus said, voice wavering with tears, he played with Sirius' fingers, and he let him, it was a comfort habit of his. “He came through m-my window. It woke me up and- I was fucking five. It's not fair.”
“I know.” Sirius whispered, pulling him into a hug, holding him close as Remus cried, face hidden into the crook of his neck. “But it's not your fault, Rem.” He said, rubbing his back gently. “You've done nothing wrong. Nothing to deserve this, baby. Absolutely nothing.”
“I-i know.”
“That's good.” He whispered softly. “I'm sorry that happened to you, so sorry.” Remus just nodded, pressing himself closer to Sirius, who just held him tighter in return. It took a while until he calmed down, but Sirius just stayed there, whispering gentle words and trying to comfort him the best he could.
“I'm sorry.” He whispered, looking at Sirius, who just shook his head, cupping his cheek and wiping his eyes with his thumb.
“Don't say sorry. It's not your fault, love.” He said, leaning down to kiss his nose, getting a small smile out of Remus. “I can put on a silencing charm, would that help you sleep? We can light a candle too so it's not so dark.”
Remus just nodded, wiping his eyes as Sirius sat up, reaching for his wand from his bedside table, casting a simple spell before quickly lighting up the candle on the bedside table. Then he laid back down, smiling as Remus rested his head on his chest, he just pulled the blanket over them, wrapping his arms around him.
“I love you.” Sirius whispered into his hair, kissing his head.
“I love you too.”
“I promise you'll have a nice birthday tomorrow. You're gonna get so much chocolate love.” Remus laughed, hiding his face more into Sirius' chest, who laughed as well. “I'm gonna steal all your chocolate frog cards.”
“Oh no, how horrible.” He said, lifting his head to look at Sirius. “Like I wasn't going to give them to you anyway?”
“You always do.”
“It's because I love you.” Remus smiled, leaning up to give him a kiss before laying his head back down. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, sleep well, baby.” Sirius whispered, rubbing his back, and starting to play with his hair. It took some time until Remus finally fell asleep, but Sirius didn't mind, he just stayed there talking to him something dumb about quidditch since he knew it helped him fall asleep. But when he felt Remus' breathing evening out, soft little snores escaping from him, Sirius blew out the candle, letting himself drift off as well.
…
“Moony.” Sirius whispered softly, caressing his cheek to wake him up. He kissed Remus' nose, smiling as he slowly opened his eyes, his eyes looking golden in the morning sunlight. “Good morning.”
“Mornin'.” He rasped, voice still thick with sleep, smiling slightly as he looked up at his boyfriend, who looked far too happy. His hair was still slightly wet from the shower he had probably taken after their morning practice, though he was dressed in pyjamas and one of Remus' jumpers. He wasn't sure how long he had been back already. “What's the time?”
“Just over nine.” Remus nodded, stretching out as best as he could. “Feeling better?” He asked, he nodded again, smiling as Sirius leaned down to give him a kiss. “Happy birthday, love.” He whispered against his lips. “You're fucking ancient now.”
“You're older.”
Sirius just grinned, giving him another kiss before sitting up. “I've got you something.” He said, getting up from bed to go fetch something. Remus sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard, smiling as Sirius came back, sitting down next to him. He handed Remus a gift that looked like it had been wrapped by a five-year-old.
“Wrapped it yourself, did you?” Remus asked, smiling as he looked down at the gift, Sirius just rolled his eyes.
“Open it, rem.”
“Calm down.” he said, trying to be careful with the wrapping paper as he opened it. Inside, there was a book, a chocolate bar and three bookmarks, clearly made by Sirius. One had pictures of them on it, the other had book titles written all over it in Sirius' cursive handwriting, and the last one had pressed flowers on it. He looked up, smiling at Sirius, who looked nervous. “Thank you.” He whispered, Sirius smiled, seeming more at ease.
“Do you like it?” Remus nodded. “That's good. Lils helped me with the flowers and James lent me some photos from his album.” He rambled nervously. “I hope you like the book though, Effie said it's good.”
Remus turned the book over, reading the description. It was from one of his favorite muggle authors, the first part to a series he didn't have yet. “Sounds really good. Thank you, love, really. I like it.”
Sirius smiled, shifting slightly so he could give him a kiss. “I love you, moons.” He whispered, looking up at him. “So much.”
“I love you too.” Remus whispered, resting his forehead against Sirius'. “Thank you.” he said, closing his eyes for a moment, looking at Sirius when he leaned back.
“Let's go get breakfast, birthday boy.” Remus rolled his eyes, but let himself be pulled up from bed by Sirius.
“Are you gonna call me that the whole day?”
“Absolutely.”