Vi's arms burned as she clung onto the ledge, holding onto a Jinx that was quickly slipping out of her reach. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She was desperately trying to come up with a plan, trying to figure out any possible way to get her family out of this one. But there was nothing. Nothing she could do as the screws popped, jerking Vi, Jinx, and Warwick further down. Jinx was looking up at her with those sad, knowing eyes. She was going to let go.
Vi was going to let her down. Vi was going to be the reason Jinx died. She was leaving her again. Her back screamed, her arm was going to fall off, but she shook her head. Please, she begged silently. Please don't give up.
Jinx reached up to deactivate Vi's gauntlet. By the time Vi realized what she was doing, it was too late. She and Warwick fell. Her dad and sister exploded in a cloud of colorful powder, and it didn't matter how Vi screamed until her voice broke and her throat turned raw.
There was no one alive to hear her.
The scene shifted. Vi saw herself being thrown into Stillwater as a kid, fighting the guards the entire way down. "Please," she was sobbing. "Please, I need to get to Powder. I need to find Powder!"
The guard tossing her in the cell snorted. "Plenty of that down here, kid. You'll fit right in."
As she was locked in her stone prison and left alone in the dark, Vi began hyperventilating. She could barely see her own hand in front of her face—not even when her fist met the concrete wall—but she slowly became aware she wasn't the only one crying. Her head snapped around. Powder was crying in the corner, rocking herself back and forth. Her reddened, tear-stained face met Violet's own. "Why did you leave me, Violet?" she whispered. "I need you."
Her vision changed so many times she lost track. The guards came to beat her up frequently, but every time she looked into that corner, Powder was rocking herself back and forth, begging Vi to come back to her.
Until one day she didn't. Instead, Silco's smooth voice filled Vi's head. Don't worry, I took care of her. I didn't fail her like you did.
Vi shot upright in bed, skin slick with sweat and legs tangled in the blankets. She looked around the room, at the place that was definitely not Stillwater. At Cait, who was stirring beside her. Vi cursed under her breath. She hated waking Cait up with her nightmares.
"What's wrong, Vi?" she asked softly, voice heavy with sleep as she sat up. Her single eye glittered with concern, and suddenly the room was too dark, pressing around Vi until she couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't breathe.
"Vi?" Caitlyn sounded more awake now, her voice carrying a hint of worry. But Vi had already thrown off the wrinkled blankets and gotten up. She ran directly to the bathroom, flipped the light on, and vomited into the toilet. Cait wasn't far behind her. Her hand traced gentle circles on Vi's back while she spat out bile. She flushed and went to the sink to brush her teeth.
She looked like a fucking mess. The mirror reflected a flushed face, half-dried streaks of tears, and red-rimmed eyes. Vi raised a finger to the scar slashing through the tattoo on her cheekbone.
When Cait's hand slid onto her shoulder, she jumped. "Easy," Caitlyn soothed. "You're alright, Violet. You're safe."
For some reason, those were the words that broke her. Her fingers gripped the basin of the sink as she sobbed, and Cait's thumb rubbed back and forth along her arm. "Why don't we get you sitting in bed?" Cait offered gently. "I could get you a glass of water."
"Can't," she got out through her tears.
"Why, darling?"
"It's too dark." The admission stung, her chest tightening, but Cait didn't question it. Instead, she slipped out the bathroom door, and Vi watched her turn on all the bedroom lights. When she returned to the bathroom, she extended a hand. Vi took it and allowed herself to be led back to the edge of the bed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Cait asked, sitting down beside her. She tugged her little silk robe more tightly around her. Her blue hair was still mussed from the pillow, but she looked wide awake now.
When Vi spoke, her voice was rough and hoarse, like she'd actually been screaming. Maybe she had. "I can't, Cait."
"Why?"
Vi hesitated. She didn't like talking to Cait about Jinx. Jinx had killed Caitlyn's mother, Cassandra, and kidnapped Cait while she showered. It had taken Cait months to take a hot shower again, and sometimes Vi still caught her using cold water. "I just can't."
"Vi." Caitlyn's voice grew firmer. "You have woken up night after night. You've talked in your sleep, cried, screamed, now vomited. And you won't even tell me what's going on?"
"It's complicated."
Her girlfriend sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "It was about Jinx, wasn't it?"
Vi's gaze shot to Caitlyn's face. "How did you-"
"I dream about her too."
She blinked. "How come you never told me?" How many times had Cait woken up in the night, terrified, and had to calm herself down while Vi slept?
Cait ran her fingers through her hair as she got to her feet. "Because she's your sister, Violet. She... did things to me, yes. And they haunt me. But you're grieving her. How can I put any of that onto you?"
"I know what she did to you." Vi felt her voice began to break. "That's why I can't. I can't tell you what happened, or what I see every damn time I close my eyes. I can't do that to you."
"I can take it." Cait's eye hardened and she stood in front of Violet, placing her hands on her shoulders. When she spoke again, her voice was a whisper, her warm breath caressing Vi's face. "This is destroying you. I can't watch it anymore. Just talk to me, darling. Please."
"You hated her." She didn't know why she said it, but the effect was immediate. Cait stepped back, her hands falling to her sides. For a moment she looked angry, and Vi braced herself as Cait opened her mouth. But then she closed it and the anger faded.
"She apologized, you know." The words were so quiet she almost didn't hear.
"What?"
"Jinx. When we arrested her, she apologized to me. For what happened to my mother."
Vi tried speaking, but no words came out. Caitlyn sat back down next to her, the mattress dipping beneath her weight. "Jinx was the cause of immense chaos and death in Piltover. She hurt me. But Vi, I don't hate her. I don't think I'm capable of it."
Tears pricked her eyes again, and Caitlyn's arms wrapped around her. They fell back on the bed together, Vi nestled securely against Cait. There, in the safety of her arms, Vi told her what she saw in her dream. She told her how Jinx died, how she couldn't save her. How she broke her promise to Vander. How she was a failure.
"You aren't a failure, Vi," Cait murmured into her hair. "We lost a lot of people that day. If anything, their deaths fall on me."
Vi's fingers traced along Cait's silk pajamas, pausing over where she knew Cait's stab wound scar sat. "There are a lot of people I blame. But you aren't one of them."
"You shouldn't blame yourself either."
She buried her face in Caitlyn's neck. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Jinx wouldn't have done any of that if I hadn't left her. Everything would be different."
"Maybe so," Cait admitted. "But you didn't leave her. You were arrested."
"I still-"
"There's nothing you could have done." Her grip on Vi tightened. "Sometimes we lose the people we love, and there isn't anything we can do about it." Cait's voice grew thick, and Vi raised her head to see her eye watering. Vi sighed and slipped out of Caitlyn's grip, holding out her arms.
"Come here, cupcake."
Caitlyn frowned, wiping at her eye. "Why?"
"Because you held me when I was sad. It's my turn now."
She relented, falling into Vi's arms, her head finding the nook between Vi's neck and shoulder. They ended up back on their pillows, still clinging to one another. Caitlyn's arm was slung across Vi's chest.
"I'll be right back," Vi murmured into her ear. But Cait stopped her before she could get up.
"Where are you going?"
"To turn off the lights."
"No. Keep them on," Caitlyn said. "You need them."
"Cait, I'll be fine."
"I said keep them on." Her voice hardened enough that Vi knew she wasn't winning, so she gave in, only sitting up long enough to cover both of them with blankets.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Caitlyn shifted in closer, cupping Vi's face. "Always, darling. Get some rest."