Chapter 9
“I’m back.” I announce.
He’s not in my bedroom. The shower is still running. I knock on the door. “I have the box,” I say
“Wonderful.”
“Can I come in to drop it off?”
Silence. “I guess so,” he says, something changing in his voice.
Oh.
I feel my face heat up. He feels awkward because-
“You still there, love?”
I shake the thoughts away, It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. I open the door. I am immediately struck with the steam pent up in there. I look over, just barely able to make out a vague silhouette through the curtain.
“I’m just gonna-” I say, flushed beet red, and put the box down next to an abandoned pile of charred clothes.
I turn to leave. “Wait.” he says. I stop on my heel, frozen in place, shocked by his words, thrilled but afraid, shy. “What do people in the twenty-first century listen to?”
Relieved, I unfroze. “Well, a variety of things, really, do you want to listen to one of my playlists?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna be like a modern English citizen,” there's a little bit of excitement in his voice now, it warms my heart.
I pull out my phone and go to Spotify, “Here, this one is by an American band, but-”
(dear reader, please turn on “The Light Behind Your Eyes” by My Chemical Romance and listen to it during this scene.)
He’s silent for a moment as the introduction starts, “It’s really slow, oh”
The music plays, the singer’s voice is soft, Hatter goes silent.
It’s silent in the room. Just the pitter-patter of the shower against the walls and curtain and the music’s haunting melody.
The song deescalated as the band played it out.
The final chord fades.
“Did you like it?” I ask. He didn’t make any snarky comments through the whole song. It worried me, he never shut up usually.
He doesn’t respond to my question. “Hatter, are you okay?”
Silence.
“I’m fine, just… please leave me alone for a bit.”
I shouldn’t be so taken aback by this. But I am. “Are you sure, I mea-”
“Please.” he half-shouts.
His voice cracks. “I need some alone time.”
My voice quivers. “Yeah, I get it. I- I’m sorry.”
I leave, closing the door behind me. I hear sniffling behind the door as the shower sputters off. I take a deep breath and look back at my phone. What could it have been that made hom feel that way.
I open a new tab and search the lyrics.
My heart sinks.
I am so stupid.
That was the worst possible song I could have played. Of course those lyrics would be triggering. I’m such an idiot. I rested my head against the bedframe. His quiet crying has faded. The room is silent.
It’s been a while, when he opens the door I spring to my feet. “Hatter, are you-”
He holds up a hand. His eyes are red and puffy. “I’m fine.”
Translation: I’m not okay.
I notice the locket clenched in his fist. The chain spilling over his knuckles. He looks away and combs over his sodden hair with his fingers. “It’s just…”
I give a tentative step forward. “I know, I didn’t mean to, I- I just didn’t think.” He looks back at me. Gives a tender smile. “It’s not your fault, I’m just embarrassed. What’s your next class?”
I shake my head, “I’ll skip, this is more important.”
He doesn’t react, “It’s my fault, I’m so sorry if I wasn’t so weak- I- I could’ve” he’s almost hysterical, tears leaking from his face, emphasizing his already maroon hued eyes. He’s clenching the locket so hard his hand is white. “They- they-my sister- my mother” he sobs.
I need to do something. I lunge forward and grab his face in my hands. “Look at me- LOOK AT ME!”
He finally does. He’s so different from normal. So exposed, almost afraid, serious, maybe even falling apart a little bit. “Look at me. Whatever happened, that was so long ago, it wasn’t your fault.”
His lips tremble. “They probably thought I abandoned them. That I just fucking left.”
I hold him firmly, “Did they love you.” he nods.
I smile at him, “Then they know you didn’t leave them on purpose, the only person at fault is the one who cursed you.”
He nods and rubs his nose. “Yeah.” He says it but he doesn’t mean it. I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him. Sure it’s a bit odd, he’s almost half a foot taller than me, but I hold on to him like I’m the only thing holding him up. He buries his face in my shoulder.
Maybe, if it were under different circumstances, would I have blushed, but I don’t, I’m happy to give comfort.
We just stand there, the sounds of his sobs getting softer eventually. Holding each other up. I take his arms, wrapping them around me, “Just breath.” I whisper.
I’m not sure how long it’s been. He finally releases his hold on me. Suddenly much more stable. “Thank you,” he whispers.
I nodded, “It’s no problem.”
“No-” he says, “Thank you for everything.”
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I turn the lamp on and sit next to Hatter on the bed. He tells me about his family. The locket, the faded pictures seemed to have sparked his memory back.
His fingers freeze over the pictures, “I remember now.” he says, “Miriam Davenport, my mother, and Helena, my sister.
I scoot close to him. “And… yours?”
“Adair.” he says, looking me in the eyes, “my name is Adair Davenport.”
~to be continued~