Velvet Bond

When Regulus arrived where he had been called, he noticed a sudden change of locations, it was not 'Malfoy Manor' like always but he recognised the house of Rabastan Lestrange, the unfortunate husband of his psychopathic cousin. And- it was unexpected, but not unthinkable.
They would probably take turns torturing him until he begged for mercy.
Not that he would ever do that.
If there was one thing he was good at, it was withstanding both mental and physical torture. After years of practice, one could only expect that from a future Lord Black, no?

"Regulus, where the heck have you been?" Narcissa walked towards him with a light but firm step, almost martial, as her mother taught her. He looked into her eyes for a moment, trying not to let his anxiety and fear show.
If he had to die, he would do so with his head held high.

"I was busy."

"More important than answering a call from the Dark Lord? Have you gone mad?"

"You should know that madness runs in our blood Narcissa dear, so why not?" He smiled, one of those wolfish smiles, a mask behind a face that no longer had reality.
He honestly no longer knew who he was, what he was, what he had turned into.

Narcissa looked up and Bellatrix came from behind her, her eyes bulging out of their sockets, blood on her hands.
"You are finally here. God, what did Walburga teach you? If we didn't have any more problems I'd teach you some manners myself," she said, taking his arm and dragging him with her into another room.
Problems? Interesting.
So they were not here for him. Voldemort had said nothing yet.
But why?
Had he not had the time or was it a deliberate choice?
The man was absolutely unpredictable. Something unthinkable.

"There he is," she said throwing him into the room and he felt the wounds that Barty had failed to heal open up even more, a gag of vomit ran through him from head to toe but he tried to mask it with indifference and emptiness.
He was good at lying, always had been, so it wasn't difficult for him, but he wouldn't last long. Not when the blood was starting to flow again and wet his clothes.

"So? Where is he?" He said impatiently. He was done waiting, let's finish this quickly.

"You will not address him in that tone. Regulus, you are disappointing all of us," his cousin said, stepping to his side and lashing him in the ribs, now he really needed to vomit and he buckled in pain. He closed his eyes for a moment as he saw the stars, his head whirled around and he tried to breathe deeply despite the fact that it was practically impossible.

"Our Dark Lord encountered some problems on yesterday's mission. An unknown source has-" Regulus did not understand.
Unknown source?
Where was Voldemort?
Why was he not speaking?

He walked slowly to where they had all gathered, there were not many of them, Nott, Lucius, Narcissa, Bellatrix, Snape and Rabastan. Interesting choice.
He made room in the crowd and finally saw him.

A mean smile made room on his face and he brought a hand to his mouth to cover it, a gesture that was understood by the others as extreme shock. He wanted to laugh so hard, if just he remembered how to do it.

So I finally beat you, huh? Who's up and who's in a bed?

"Regulus we called you here because we need you and Severus to look after him. He doesn't- doesn't seem to be recovering. We've tried healing spells, but none of us are skilled enough at those." He pretended to nod at Narcissa's explanation.
He would have very happily given him the cold shoulder if he had not learned of the Horcruxes, if he had not been absolutely certain that his soul would return.

He casted a glance at Snape who looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if to say 'Was this you? Remarkable' and Regulus rolled his eyes, grimacing.

"We may try, but our skills will not be enough equally. More advanced magic is needed here," Severus said in his usual atonal, almost bored tone.

Regulus looked again at the body of one of history's greatest wizards, slumped on the bed as if ready to be laid in the ground. Burns present on half of his body, what was once so fascinating was now only a memory. Rubble of something greater.

He felt a slight sense of satisfaction.
After all he had made him lose, give up, after all the suffering he had caused him - well - it was satisfying to see him like this because of him.
He smiled again as he bent down to analyse him better.

The deeper wounds had been badly healed, the ones on his face stitched up, it seemed strange that he was still breathing but it was actually quite normal.
After all the effort Voldemort had put into his cause, dying here would have made everything so worthless.
"Where is the snake?" Regulus asked suddenly, he missed that fucking animal at his side every time he breathed something, was he dead? Better that way.

"Why are you asking about the fucking snake when you have our Lord like this? We don't fucking care." Rabastan said gritting his teeth.

"I'm asking fucking dumbass because they have a fucking connection, so maybe it could help. But I'm saying something too elaborate for you tiny little brain" he responded and he saw Rabastan coming for him, his fists clenched at his side and an encouraging smile took place on his face, he loved to rile up rabastan.
He was so easy.

"Rabastan, don't be embarrassing. Stop there." Lucius promptly said, stopping him there and Bellatrix watched him with a murderous look.

"Anyway" Regulus said looking at Rabastan once more, a mischievous grin on his face. "I say we go to the lab and see what we can do to improve the situation, though I agree with what Severus says. Someone more specialised is needed here."

"Then go, what are we waiting here?" Bellatrix interrupted him quickly making way for her to pass.

At that time, almost every important meeting place for the Dark Lord had a workshop with the most important ingredients, to be used when required, in the most critical situations. Or to have access to some truth serum, or some poison, or something to heal the wounded.

"Did you see yourself before you came here? You stink of blood and vomit, you're limping and you've been leaving bloody footprints since you came in. If your cousin wasn't so worried about our Lord she would have finished you off laughing." Snape went up to him from behind, making him wince and then roll his eyes.

"Go to hell Snape. I can't care about you right now." He knew very well how he was looking right now, and he didn't want to be reprimanded for it by none other than Snape.

"Here" Snape said handing him a potion from under his coat, Regulus looked quickly at his purple colour and took it without further question, he knew by now that it could do him more good than harm.
"I assume the situation is under control." And he rolled his eyes again, it was just pathetic, he couldn't do nothing to save Lily but he was nonetheless asking him.

"Now that you mention it," he said as he watched the others enter the room used as a lab. He pushed Severus against the wall and threatened him with his wand.
"You owe me a debt, a pretty important one no?" he whispered these words as Snape began to stir under his touch.

"What debt? I told you where to find them. I was the reason-"

"I don't really care about you or the readhead, but nothing can stop me from going back and kill her. Did you see what I have done to our mighty Lord? So are you in for this or do I have to give her another lovely meeting?" He whispered those words, trying not to show how much effort he was putting into uttering them. Twinges of pain were radiating throughout his body from his stomach to his head and he was struggling to stand. He was sorry to use Lily like this but better have Snape in his side than not.
He could be very helpful when needed.

"Are you gone mental Black? You would never-" but he squeezed Snape's throat more tightly with one elbow as he held up his wand, stopping his speech there.
How annoying- boring, boring, boring.

Regulus was almost as tall as he was so it was not difficult to keep him there.
He looked him in the eyes as he took the potioner's knife he carried with his other hand from his pocket. He didn't know how he was looking right now, bloodied and crazy probably he was alike to his cousin Bellatrix. But blood didn't lie, so he was the mighty heir to their family.
He would have not lived enough to see the disappointment in his brother's face, the only one who was sane.

"You will owe me a life's debt now. I saved the girl and this is the price to pay." He continued, cutting his palm, a thin trickle of blood already trickling down. "Or I swear Severus you'll not see her again."

"I- okay Black- okay- just move," Snape finally said, too scared to move, now not only threatened by the wand but also by the knife he held.
He quickly cut Severus' palm as well and they shook hands, thus sealing the pact.

"You will not refuse me anything, run away or avoid me. From today you are mine." he laughed lightly, letting go of his hand. "And do me a favour, do not say about me to Dumbledore. I know about your little runaway with him and I don't need that."
Snape only watched him, his gaze lifeless as always but there was a hint of panic behind those eyes and he smiled again.
He licked his lips feeling some blood on his tongue, and then he entered in the room.

"What the fuck did you wait for?" Lucius said as they entered.
He rolled his eyes but he didn't care.
Voldemort was not here to reprimand him so he had free access to everything he wanted without being questioned in every fucking move.

Fuck- he felt almost good. Like he could actually breathe, without someone else constantly watching him. Because who fucking cares about Lucius or his cousins. They were not Voldemort so they could command him nothing, they were only his pawns so they held no power over him.

"We have to talk about something, sorry" he fake smiled at them, and Lucius was to say something but he stopped when he saw a glint into his eyes.
He knew that Lucius and Narcissa were talking at his back about who he was becoming, and he knew that Narcissa was scared of seeing him becoming like Bellatrix.

They were very close as children so she was the only one who really cared about his well-being, but she didn't need to.

He was fine.
As fine as everyone who went through that could be.

She knew very well what his family was capable of so she couldn't blame him for the person he became. He was traumatised, tired, sleepless, angry, lonely and even scared for most of the days, even though he tried not to show that. So really- it wasn't his fault. But now- it wasn't time to think about that.

Now he had to do something very important.

With Voldemort out of his way he had free access to find his Horcruxes, without him knowing.

But firstly he had to do something better, something that could give him all the access he needed.
He had to eliminate all of his nuisances.
One in particular.

"Let's see what we can do in the meantime" he said starting to look around, knowing perfectly well that if Voldemort had not woken up on his own he certainly would not have helped him in doing so.

Good luck with your recovery, Oh mightily and powerful Lord.
You'll really need that.

---------------------------

November, 1976

"It's a little cold here, isn't it?" Regulus was sitting by the Black Lake, reading one of his usual books. James often believed that if they were not in different houses he and Remus would get along. They were more alike than they wanted to admit.
It was the second week of November and he tried to speech to the youngest Black since September, but he was never alone or near him so he grabbed his occasion today.

"What do you want, Potter?" These were the first words Regulus spoke in his direction that day, and a playful smile returned to his lips.
He loved that.

He couldn't understand his attraction to Sirius' brother, but every time since his best friend had run off to their home, bloody and wounded, he found himself wondering if Regulus was going through the same.

Sirius had told him that it was Regulus himself who had told him to leave, because he wanted all the attention his parents could give him, because he wanted to become their heir. The little blood supremacist was growing up and he was becoming a real Death Eater, with his bigots and idiotic friends.
Something to be proud of.

But James wasn't entirely sure.

James couldn't understand their situation, he hadn't suffered what they suffered, his parents were heavenly, but he could imagine how fucked up the mind of a fifteen year old who had only seen pain all his life could be.

So he decided he had to give Regulus another chance.
James had to make him understand that a parent wasn't always right, that he could change, that he could come and stay with him all he wanted.

"I just want to know how you are doing." Regulus rolled his eyes returning to read his book. It was new, big, brown. He had seen something similar from Lily once.

"Fine, before you came. And fine when you'll go. So bye" he fake smiled at him and he laughed it off. Regulus had become sharper and more beautiful than before, he had grown up a bit but he still had a bit of a baby face in him. A little skinner that needed but he hoped that with Hogwarts's food he would replenish himself.

"I'm fine too, thanks for asking, Reggie. Always so caring."

"It's Regulus, not Reggie" and this time he was the one who rolled his eyes.

"Fine, Regulus.What are you reading?" He only glared at him. "I'm not going away anytime soon. I have some spare time and you are here all alone. I'm saving you from all this boredom. So- what are you reading?"

"The Hobbit" Regulus muttered something else under his breath but he didn't understand what, maybe some more insults to him, but it was okay.

"Uh oh, never heard of that" James said again, trying to catch a glimpse of the book cover, maybe he had seen it anywhere.

"It's a muggle book" Regulus explained patiently and maybe- maybe he wasn't so against having him here. He wasn't openly ignoring him, so it was a win.

But at the same time he was so shocked that his eyebrows almost reached his hairline. He must have heard wrong. or Regulus was very ill.

Regulus Black, the heir to the Black family, who was reading something written by normal people? By muggles?

"Don't look so surprised," he muttered with a red face, embarrassed, hiding behind the book. "You don't know how logical muggleborns are, they've invented a magical world, a fucking wizard without even knowing what a wizard is! It's just brilliant, don't you think? In my opinion this Tolkien guy watched something magical and wrote about it- it's impossible- it's too bloody fantastic!"

He said fidgeting and moving his hands all busy explaining about this world and James found himself smiling. He had probably never heard such a long speech come out of Regulus' mouth unless it was about quidditch.
He could have listened to it for hours.

"Tell me more about it" James said instead, still smiling, watching the freckles on Regulus skin, he had this intrusive though of touching them, and he would have done it if he didn't know better that Regulus would have punched him immediately.

"You are making fun on me" Regulus stopped immediately, looking suspicious at his face, but no. He wasn't kidding, he was interested in the book. Mor in Regulus, but that's only for him to know.

"No- I'm quite interested, a magic word written by a muggle? That's- unheard of-how they perceive us? Is it good? Is he powerful? Is it accurate?"

"No, I'm not telling you now, read it and you'll know. Go away." Regulus said childishly pouting and he just wanted to make him smile so bad. To take all of his attention.
He wanted Regulus to watch him. To see him.

So he decided to do something very wide and picked the book from Regulus hands while Regulus tried to reach it, grunting something under his breath again.
"Well- well- well- let's see- ow but there is a dragon there!" He said pointing at the image and he smiled again while Regulus tried to get on top of him with his little tiny body.

"You gigantic ass, give me back-" and James laughed, because Regulus was always so put on that seeing him like this was fucking hilarious. And beautiful.

"Gigantic ass? How elegant, so much for a Black"

"Shut up- dickhead- it's your fault for being so tall- and yes that's a dragon, good to know that those stupid glasses of yours serves to something"

"Oi! They are not stupid- and yeah- they do their job very well- thank you for asking"
Regulus crawled into his lap, straddling on his legs, near his groin- and yeah- that did something to his body, his heart was beating fast, heat on his cheeks, eyes out of him. "If you wanted to be so near, you just had to ask, pretty boy" he whispered with a bravery he didn't think he had in him.

Yeah- he was a Gryffindor but- well- with Regulus everything was different.

He was quite conscious of his body and his aspect, but he didn't perceive himself like everyone else did.
He was insecure most of the time but with Peter and Remus near him who thought that they were constantly not enough about their aspect, he couldn't give them more burden. They didn't have to listen to his complain about- about nothing- about his own mind who was just a little bit paranoid and saw things a little differently.

People seem to imagine James had everything, and so he shouldn’t complain about his problems.
But in fact It was difficult to live up to the standard some days.
He had the best parents so he had to show them. He was still part of one of the most important families of wizard, so he had to do well- not the same as the Black but he didn't want to let down his parents- they gave so much to him- it was the only right thing he could do for them.

Be the son they were proud of.

Regulus stuttered some words, becoming so red James thought he could explode before recomposing himself, grabbing the book with one hand and punching his stomach with the other.
And yeah- he deserved that-

"Don't get too carried away, Mr. Cockiness, you'd just be lucky to have a single bit of my attention." Regulus answered to him as he adjusted his tie and licked his lip, looking at him with two eyes so clear that he felt peered into his soul.

And those eyes- fuck those eyes- he would imagine until the end of his days.
So beautiful and mysterious, so peculiar, a little green in a sea of gray, like a storm.

"I- just- hum- well- what?" James stuttered his words under Regulus's attentive gaze. And he suddenly felt his mouth dry, his brain melt.

Regulus got up from the grass.
"Potter, think carefully about who you're playing with before you start." Regulus winked at him, adjusting his black and green Slytherin uniform, so in tone with his eyes.

James had never paid attention.

Just as he had never paid attention to the trousers that wrapped his legs perfectly, the long fingers that held the book, the smile he tried to hide, the small but full lips, the straight and perfect nose, the most beautiful butt he had ever seen- it was so round and- no- stop. But he didn't stop, those trousers were not legal, if he tried them up they would not fit so well for him. It must be some kind of magic.

"Thank you for nothing Potter. Oh and you can tell my brother that I'm fine."
With that said he left, while James could still feel his heart pounding.

"Don't- he didn't- Sirius didn't- he didn't send me-" he stammered into the wind, because by now Regulus had left without turning back.

And thankfully- thought James, looking at the state he was in, a slight bulge in his trousers and probably the arousal of his cheeks.
Fuck- he moaned embarrassed. He got excited thinking about Regulus Black? Sirius little and innocent brother? Oh Merlin

But- but that was normal wasn't it?

He was a sixteen-year-old boy after all, the hormones have that effect on everyone around him, Sirius was like sleeping with every girl he found available, and that- that was extremely okay.

He just had to ask Remus if it was normal for it to happen to a man, if- if it was normal for a straight boy to be excited by a man.

It must be, right?

Otherwise he had to reconsider a couple of things.

---------------------

James woke up with his body feeling like fire and his head pounding. He felt like he had to vomit but something was stopping him, it was-
He opened his eyes with difficulty but it didn't change the situation much since he didn't have his glasses aside on the bedside table, and without them he was blinder than a mole.
He yelped in pain when he tried to move and realized something broken was healing, maybe a leg.

"James!" Some voices in the background screamed with joy?
But what was happening?
Where?
What- what had happened?
He almost thought he was dead but the pain still present in his body, the bed beneath him and his apparent blindness made him understand that he was not alive and was relatively well.

Glasses were placed in his hand.
"Merlin, thank you, I don't understand shit" he managed to mutter almost incomprehensible words, his mouth was thick, saliva stuck to his lips, but he heard laughter coming from the room.
"Can I have-" he pointed to the water next to his bed as he became aware of what was in the room.
The leg was definitely broken.
He was in hospital.
His parents were on either side of his bed.

These were certain things, the others were quite confusing.
His mother helped him up and gave him a few sips of water.
"I'll go get the others," his father said instead but he looked like he was about to cry, a twinkle in his eyes and his voice shaking. He left the room in a short time, without even letting him understand what had actually happened and tried not to feel too bad about it.
He felt scared about something and wanted his dad close.

"Mom?" he said after a few sips of water, feeling her voice return slightly, but she was crying too.
Hate-
Had something happened to Lily?
Harry?
Sirius?

"Mom- mom what's wrong? What happened? Lily?" He said getting excited and immediately the machinery started turning on like crazy.

"No, no, darling, don't worry, don't move too much otherwise the nurses will kick us out. It's okay- everyone's fine. You were the one- the one who didn't wake up James- there-" his mother burst into tears and he didn't know what to do.
He wasn't understanding anything.
Him? He didn't wake up?

"James! James!" Sirius shouted as he entered the room and rushed aside to his bed. "Don't- please don't scare me anymore- please James, please, please, please" Sirius was crying too, Remus on the other side of the room still shaken.

"I don't- I don't understand-" he said faintly and finally saw Lily with Harry in her arms. His son.
Little Harry.

And finally he remembered. A searing pain hit his head causing him to sit upright in pain. He doubled over, whimpering as the memories came back strong.
He almost dead.
He was almost dead.
It was Voldemort's fault.
No- Peter's fault-

"Peter" he let out a strangled noise as the room froze out.
"Peter- it was- what- why?" his head drummed as his heart began to beat rapidly-
Why Peter?
Why?
What have we done?
What have I done?
What have I taken from you, forbidden?

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he was now sobbing, why Peter did that? He should have chose Pads. "I'm sorry Lily, I'm so sorry. You must have been so scared. Harry" he took out his arms to hug his son while he continued crying. "I'm sorry pads, I'm sorry moons, I'm sorry mum, mum, mum and dad too. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he chocked out the last words and he put his head on his mother's shoulder.

"No- no James why are you apologizing?" Lily went to him, hugging him tightly, and he felt her warm arm around his torso. They were so comfortable.

"It-it's my fault- Peter- I must have done wrong- I'm sorry- I'm sorry" he could stop himself, he was so hopeless. How the fuck they were going to win that war if even his best friend started to betray them? How? Who was safe and who was not? What he was going to do? He didn't want to experiment anything like that again but they were still in war and- and Harry-

Oh Harry- so little- si defenseless and still they had tried to kill him.
To kill a child.
To kill a baby.
Who were those monsters?
Who? Why? Why all that pain?

"James what the fuck are you saying? It's the rat fucking fault- and you thinking like that- I cannot accept that- I'll kill him. I'll kill him with my hands and I'll be happy- watch what he did to you!" Sirius began rumbling about how fucking angry he was with Peter and- well he wasn't sure.

"No- no it's my fault! I must have did him wrong- I- I was a shitty friend and-" he couldn't believe that peter betrayed them without a reason. It must be his fault. It must be.
And for that even Harry and Lily were going to pay.
They were going to die for something he had done to Peter.

"James Fleamont Potter" his mother said, and he stopped his rambling. "I cannot hear you say those things- I don't even know where to start in saying how wrong you are, honey. Just-" she huffed, not watching him, his eyes still puffy and red. He felt so guilty. But she was watching him as she was referring to someone else.
Not about Peter but about another person. And he didn't want to think to hm right now.

"You- I'm not saying this because you are my son James. You are a wonderful person, you always think about the others first and- and you cannot blame yourself on this. Because you don't deserve it. Your health doesn't derive this. Peter made this choice on his own volition. You can just help them but at the end it's their choice. It's- it's awful when it's a friend to do this but we are in a war and- people get scared. I'm not forgiving Peter, I'm not. I'll kill him for injuring my precious baby- but not everything is on you- and you can't put this on your shoulders."

She probably knew.
She probably knew what he felt when Regulus made his choice, maybe she did know his name, she didn't know who was the boy he fell for and for whom he suffered but she knew that he always felt the burden of the world on his shoulders.

She knew that he always blamed himself for his choice, for not being able to save him. He should have done better- he should have understood better, not be so black and white, not be so obsessive about his life, his choices, but he should have listened more to Regulus' reasons.

Regulus was not a bad person, he just hadn't the chance to be good.
Regulus just hadn't the chance to be loved.
Regulus hadn't the chance to make a choice, not freely, not with the burden he carried, not with his parent watching everything.

And Lily and James had tried with him, really, but they hadn't been enough.
Regulus had to save himself first.
With Sirius he had been able, with his parent, Albus and Minerva's help he did it.
But Regulus was too tied to them, was too deep in their machinations, was too important in their cause, the last male heir in the Black family was essential for their cause.

He had understood too later what Regulus knew when he was only fifteen years older. This was just a game for them. They were just their pawns.

So- well- he should have tried harder with Regulus. Make him feel safer with him. Feel things that he didn't when he was with the person that should love him. That should have been enough.

Regulus knew their relationship wouldn't last long and he tried to gain the most of it. James on the other hand was always sure in saving him, in being enough powerful to keep him from falling, to keep him from the dark side.

Well- at the end James had been only a joke to them.
Against all that- that power, that death, that suffering, he was just a kid who thought to be more than what he actually was.

His father hugged him and he wanted to cry again, harry in his arms started to sleep after a bit and he watched his son coming down a little bit. "James" he kissed his head and he smiled slightly at him.

"James- you- you are barely an adult, you all are still children to us. Twenty- twenty years old and you are already suffering so much- you go near death almost everyday and you don't deserve this. I can't change that but I'm trying to change how you perceive yourself. How all of you perceive yourself. Sometimes- sometimes we ask too much from you. Dumbledore ask too much from all of you- you barely have entered in this world and you already giving so much. Just- understand that not everything is on your shoulders, please always remember that, okay?"

He watched his friends, as they understood what his father was saying, because it was so real, they entered in a war when they were barely eighteen and- and it was going on and on for years. They were young and tired. They couldn't really live like they dreamed off. And they didn't know if they ever will, or if they'll die.

The only who watched away was Remus, hollow under his eyes, he seemed to be the most tired of them all and he could only imagine how much he was suffering these days. There was a lot in his plate for him- his missions, the pack, the moon coming, the hiding he had to do, the things he had to keep from them, for Remus this war was- was more.

He had something tangible to do and nobody he could speak to.

Dumbledore was being insensible.
He wanted to understand him, that he was doing this for their sake, but at the same time- watching his best friend like that- so broken, so empty, he couldn't- it was fucking unfair.
And if he could he would take all of their pain on his shoulders. He wanted them to be happy, to be young again, to live their life like they should.

"Thanks, dad. I just- well- I just thought to be more important than I apparently was. And maybe I thought I was a better friend too. How stupid of me, right?" He faked smile to them, he just wanted to roll up on himself and cry for days.
But he couldn't. He was strong, he was their best friend stone, so he just smiled. Because it was better that way, because if he smiled they were calmer, and it was easier that way, hide that pain, hide what it was killing you. Just go on-

But this time it didn't go well because he only received some shrugs as response.
They only watched at him with those pity looks and he started to boil-
He was fine.
Fine, okay?
Fine, fine, fine.

If he continued to repeat that maybe he would believe that too.

"James, I don't know if you understand this- but I'll be willing to die for you and to kill for you. Never, never forget this. I'm loyal to you- not to Dumbledore, not to- to anyone. You are my person and I will protect everything that is mine. And this is because you were- you are sorry- the best men alive. Fuck- you are so good that someday I can't watch you in the eyes. So pure, so bright that I don't want to taint you with my darkness." He snapped out of his mind as Sirius started talking with an anger in his voice he never heard of. Even when he talked about his family he never said anything like this.

And he should feel bad.
Sirius just said that he'd be willing to kill for him.
But instead he felt almost relieved. A small smile spread across his face. A good shiver run along his back and he found himself smiling.

"I- I always knew you were the right person. Merlin I was so angry with you Pads when you didn't listen to us- but you are just so stubborn like-" Regulus he was saying but he was able to restrain himself.
Fortunately.
He was not ready to think again about Reg.
He didn't know why he thought about him so much today. It has passed so much time since he did that. He tried to forgot him and with the war and the distance he had been able to do so.

But sometimes- sometime he just missed him.
Because he still loved Regulus.
He still searched him in his bed some nights.

A silence fell between them- A silence full of tension that he didn't quite understand- but his head was still hitting like crazy and he didn't want to know anything else.
Just for now. A little bit of peace. He felt a little dizzy. All this hard talk had done quite the job on him.

He then groaned in pain, tasting his head who was still pounding like crazy.
"Just- just a little sore. A little of a headache- I'm good" he said to his friend and his parents who looked at him worried.
His mother went to call a nurse quickly, saying that the injury on his head was quite bad and they had to run some more tests.

"How much was I off?" He asked while they waited for the nurse to come.

"Five days, it's the fifth of November." Remus said the first thing of the day. And- well- that was a lot. Remus went near him, on the bed and he tried to scoot over to make some space but he winched so Remus told him to stay still, that he didn't need that.

"Fuck- I missed your birthday-" Sirius smiled at him and he watched as every one of them was tired, bags under their eyes, lack of sleep.

"You'll make up for it next year" Sirius grinned to him and he smiled back, he felt peaceful for the first time, he could almost fell asleep.

"Just sleep a little more James, you need it. You are still weak and wounded. We'll be here when you'll wake up" Lily said stroking his hair with a hand, Harry in her arms. "And then we have to talk about Harry" she muttered but he didn't quite understand. He seemed alright to him-

"What- what happened to Harry?" He woke up again, jerking up and they put him into his place, but nurse entered the room before they could respond him. She out something for the pain in the IV and he started to doze off again, watching his baby sleeping peacefully.

"Nothing James- Merlin- I'm sorry! He's okay! See?" And he nodded, he was okay. He was alive. Like them. Like Sirius and Remus. And Regulus?
How was Regulus?
Was he well?
Was he happy?

"We can do something- when- when I'll be discharged- nothing too much- just- just us" he whispered as his eyes closed. "Just to fell normal again- another year to live" he mumbled, and he felt a light hand on his cheeks.

"Anything for our prongs"