Eclipsed

The apartment was eerily quiet, a stark contrast to the chaotic events of the night before. Sirius was slumped in the armchair, trying and failing to focus on a textbook in his lap. His fingers twitched over the pages, but his eyes glazed over, and he kept losing his place. Every few minutes, he’d sigh heavily, the sound filling the room.

James, who was resting on one end of the couch, noticed the heavy sighs breaking the silence and turned his head toward Sirius. “You okay, mate?” he asked, his voice gentle but tinged with concern. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Sirius looked over at James, his face pale and drawn. “I’m just... tired. And I feel a bit sick, to be honest,” he admitted, though his words felt inadequate. He couldn’t quite differentiate the swirling mix of hangover-induced nausea and the lingering anxiety gnawing at him.

James nodded, understanding. “Why don’t you take a nap in my bed? It’s darker in there. Might help you feel better.”

Sirius hesitated for a moment, then gave in with a small nod. “Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea. Thanks, Prongs.”

He slowly got up from the chair, moving like every step was a chore, and made his way to James’s room. As Sirius disappeared down the hall, James turned his attention to Lily, whose feet were in his lap, curled up, sound asleep. He gently shook her. “Lily, darling, you should eat something. Ready to wake up?”

But she didn’t stir. Her exhaustion from the night before still held her in a deep sleep. James sighed softly, knowing she needed the rest, and decided to let her sleep a bit longer. He turned away and headed to the kitchen, feeling his way around as he went.

In the kitchen, James began making himself a sandwich. He moved with practiced ease, his hands knowing the layout of the room by heart. The familiar actions were a comfort to him, a moment of normalcy in an otherwise overwhelming morning.

As he was slicing the bread, he heard soft footsteps behind him. It was Hope, Remus’s mother. “James, do you need help with anything?” she asked, her voice kind but hesitant, not wanting to overstep.

James shook his head with a small smile. “No, I’ve got it under control, thanks. But I appreciate the offer.”

Hope hesitated, then continued, “I hope this isn’t rude, but I’m really impressed with how well you manage in the kitchen. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to relearn everything.”

James paused in his sandwich-making, turning slightly towards her voice. “Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Lupin- I know you’re coming from a good place,” he said kindly. “It was pretty hard, but I had people supporting me- like Remus. He’s so patient, and always has the right thing to say- I know his openness and understanding must’ve come from someone, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t his dad.”

Hope laughed softly at that, the sound lightening the mood. “You’re right about that. Thank you, James. For everything. You’ve been such a good friend to Remus, especially after learning about his… condition.”

James smiled, though it was tinged with a bit of sadness. “Remus is one of the best mates I could’ve asked for. Besides, I wouldn’t have passed half my classes if it weren’t for his help with studying.”

Hope’s laughter grew a little brighter. “Well, I’m glad he’s been good for you too.”

Just then, Lyall’s voice called out from the bedroom, breaking the moment. “Hope, Remus is awake!”

“Shall we?” Hope said, and James put down the sandwich and  they headed towards the bedroom where Remus had been sleeping. As they entered, they found Remus sitting up in bed, his eyes bleary but alert. 

“Hey, Moony,” James greeted him softly, moving closer to the bed and reaching out his hand. “How’re you feeling, mate?”

Remus didn’t answer right away. Instead, he reached out, taking hold of James’ hand as if seeking comfort. “Tired,” he murmured, his voice small. “Really tired.”

Hope sat down beside him, smoothing his hair back with a motherly touch. “You’ve been through a lot, sweetheart. But you’re safe now.”

As they spoke, Sirius appeared in the doorway, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Lily followed close behind, stretching as she tried to shake off the last remnants of sleep. They all gathered in the room, a comforting presence around Remus.

Without a word, James scooched off the bed and let Sirius sit closest to Remus. Sirius took the spot and reached out to take Remus’ hand, squeezing it gently. “Hey, love. How’re you feeling? Anything hurt?”

Remus leaned into the touch, his voice small and a bit shaky. “Everything feels a bit off. My hip aches a lot.”

His parents did their best, Lyall offering to find some other potions, Hope wetting a cloth and putting it over his head. They were all dancing around the real issue, but they knew it had to be addressed.

Taking a deep breath, James decided to broach the topic. “Remus... we know you’ve been working for Dumbledore. There are no more secrets here, alright?”

Remus hesitated, his eyes darting between them. The room was filled with a heavy silence as they waited for him to respond. His fingers tightened around Sirius’s, seeking reassurance.

“You can tell us about it, if you feel ready, love.” Sirius smiled softly at him, as Hope squeezed his other hand, and Lyall nodded from the doorway. 

Finally, with a deep breath, Remus began to speak. His voice was low, shaky, and the weight of what he had gone through seemed to press down on him, but he powered through. 

“I was assigned to infiltrate a pack in the Palatinate Forest of Germany,” Remus began, his voice barely above a whisper. “Dumbledore hoped that most of the pack members there would be neutral—maybe even indifferent to the Death Eaters and their promises. And at first, it seemed like that might be true. Most of them were just... trying to survive, like me. My job was to convince those people to join us, the Order, in the fight against Voldemort if and when he spreads across the continent.”

He paused, his gaze distant as he remembered the dense, dark woods, the cold, the smell of damp earth and fur, and the fear that had become a constant companion.

“But there were some... radicals. They treated the whole thing like a cult, and after I joined them for the February full moon, they... they surrounded me, once the transformation was over. They were ready to initiate me fully into the pack, which meant that I had succeeded in the first part of the mission.”

Sirius tightened his grip on Remus’s hand, his knuckles white, but he stayed silent, letting Remus continue.

“Between the February moon and the March moon, they had me working like any other pack member,” Remus said, his voice trembling slightly. “It was a communal society, very... very structured. Everything was shared, everyone had a role, and mine was to do whatever they told me. It could be making meals, hunting, taking care of the kids in the pack… anything. I was watched constantly, so I tried to blend in, hoping that if I did what they asked, they’d eventually let their guard down, and trust me enough to hear what I had to say.”

He took a shaky breath, his eyes briefly meeting everyone’s in the room before darting down again. “But after the March full moon... it changed. I woke up chained to a wall in some cave, alone. They barely fed me, barely gave me any water. I think they were testing me, seeing how much I could endure. They left me there from March until the April full moon, and by then... I was so weak, I could barely think straight.”

Hope gasped softly, covering her mouth with her hand, and Lyall clenched his fists, anger simmering beneath his worry. 

“Go on, Re, it’s alright,” James encouraged, which Lily echoed with false confidence. 

“When the April full moon came,” Remus continued, his voice growing even quieter, “they let me loose, but it wasn’t to run free. They... they sent me out to fight the leader of their cult, a man named Angus. He is older, but stronger than me, by a lot... he’d been a werewolf for a little longer than I have, but since he turned as an adult, his body has held up much better than mine; maybe when you always transform freely, you don’t get as banged up? Or maybe since he was done growing already? Anyways, he was something of a hippie... he told me that believed getting turned was some kind of divine calling. His wolf... it was... wild, vicious- really such a monster. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Remus closed his eyes, shuddering as he remembered the brutal fight. “Moony—my wolf, I– we named it I guess, since it doesn’t quite feel like me–” he clarified for his parents, “—he’s settled, relatively. Still dangerous, still... murderous, but not like Angus’ wolf. That wolf... it was pure rage, pure violence. We fought, and he won. He... he beat me, and they... they left me there. Apparently this was part of the initiation. They thought I was too weak to be one of them, so they abandoned me. Luckily they let me keep my bag- and they didn’t go through it at all. My clothes, my wand, and everything I came to the camp with was still there.”

A heavy silence filled the room, the air thick with the weight of Remus’s words. Sirius looked like he was barely holding himself together, his eyes wet with unshed tears, his hand trembling as he held onto Remus.

“I laid there all day,” Remus whispered, his voice breaking. “I couldn’t move, not from the pain, not from the exhaustion. Luckily he’d won the fight by knocking me out almost instantly- we didn’t fight for too long so there were no visible wounds except... except for a cut on my head. Once the sun started to set, I... I could finally move enough to crawl to my bag. I got dressed, pulled my hat over my head so the blood wouldn’t look so bad, and... and found the portkey Dumbledore had left me.”

He swallowed hard, his throat dry. “The portkey rerouted me, instead of home it took me to the German Ministry of Magic, maybe some German standard for magical travel? I don’t really know... But when I arrived,” Remus recalled, his voice trembling slightly, “I could barely stand. The place was beautiful though, all marble floors and high ceilings, the kind that make every sound echo. I must’ve looked as awful as I felt, and so the floo mistress, she... she took one look at me and immediately started questioning me. I tried to keep my voice steady, but...”

His hands shook slightly, and he clenched them into fists as if trying to hold onto something solid. Sirius reached out, his fingers gently wrapping around Remus’s trembling hand, grounding him in the present.

“I told her I was a student, a researcher,” Remus continued, his voice wavering. “I said I’d been attacked, robbed, that I needed to go back to England. She didn’t believe me at first. I don’t blame her—I must’ve looked to her like some vagrant who had wandered in off the street. She kept asking questions, her voice sharp, almost... almost afraid of me. And I could see it in her eyes, the way she looked at me, like she was deciding whether I was a threat or just pathetic.”

He swallowed hard, his throat dry. “She eventually called her boss, and put me in a holding room, just this tiny, cold space with a metal table in the center and a folding chair. There were no windows, no warmth. Just the sound of my own breathing, echoing back at me. I sat there for hours, I kept thinking, ‘This is it. I’m going to die here, and no one will know what happened to me.’”

A bitter smile touched Remus’s lips as he remembered the ordeal. “Her boss didn’t show up for a while, probably annoyed to be called in on a Friday.” Remus’s eyes filled with tears as he recalled the cold, sterile room, the way the walls seemed to close in on him as his fever rose, his head wound burning with infection. “I was there for hours, and when her boss finally arrived, I was... I was falling apart.” 

“Finally, after what felt like an eternity,” Remus continued, his voice softer now, “the door opened, and this woman walked in.  She was older than the Floo mistress, maybe in her late forties or early fifties. She took one look at me, and I could see… maybe she realized that I wasn’t a threat, that she believed what I said about just being in way over my head.”

He hesitated, his breath hitching as he recalled the tenderness in the woman’s gaze, the way she had knelt beside him on the cold floor, her voice gentle but firm.

“She asked me who I was, where I was going, what had happened to me,” Remus said, his eyes glazing over. “And I... I just lost it. I couldn’t keep up the lie anymore. I started crying, telling her I just wanted to go home, that I didn’t feel well, and I begged her to let me go, to just let me use the portkey. Merlin, I... I must’ve sounded so pathetic.”

His voice broke, and he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to compose himself. Sirius squeezed his hand, Hope held the other. 

“The woman... She didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she just nodded, and said, ‘Alright, sweetheart, let’s get you home.’ She didn’t have to do that. She could’ve kept me there, could’ve sent me back to that holding room. But she didn’t, she let me go.”

Remus took a deep breath, trying to steady his emotions. “She activated the floo for me, and I... I sent myself here. I knew I was in bad shape, so I came to you, Sirius. I thought you’d be able to help me. I didn’t want to go home like that, didn’t want to worry Mum and Dad. I just... I just wanted to be somewhere safe.”

The shame of having been too drunk to help when Remus had first arrived gnawed at him, but Sirius tried to push it aside.  

“I’m so sorry, Remus,” Sirius whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I should’ve been there for you. I swear, I’ll take care of you from now on. I’ll make sure you’re alright.”

Lyall’s stern expression softened slightly as he looked at Sirius, his eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and lingering concern.

Lily shook her head. “I’m so glad you made it home, Remus” she told him. “That could’ve gone a lot worse.”  

Remus nodded weakly, his eyes closing as exhaustion finally began to overtake him. 

“I failed this time though,” he said, as his eyes closed, “but I’ll do better next time.”

“Let’s not talk about a ‘next time’ just yet,” Sirius said, meeting eyes with Hope and Lyall. “Let’s focus on getting better, alright?” 

The room fell silent as they all took a moment to process everything that had happened.

“How about we continue this outside,” James said quietly, once Remus’ breathing evened out. Lily and James left, followed by Lyall, and finally Hope and Sirius. 

As they stepped out into the hallway, the air was thick with the unspoken tension that had built up in the room. Despite the heavy conversation they had just left behind, Lily knew that everyone would need a good meal to recover their strength.

"Lunch sounds like a good idea," Lily said softly, squeezing James's arm. "Let's get something started for everyone."

James nodded, though his thoughts were clearly still on Remus. "Yeah... maybe something easy on the stomach. Soup, maybe? Sandwiches? That sounds easy."

They hadn’t made it far down the hallway when Lyall’s voice cut through the quiet, stopping them in their tracks. “Sirius,” Lyall called out, his tone measured but firm. “Can I have a word?”

Sirius turned back, his dark eyes curious but wary. “Of course,” he replied, moving closer to Lyall, who was standing just outside the bedroom door. The older man looked more worn than Sirius remembered, his eyes shadowed and weary, but his posture was still strong, resolute.

“What is it, Mr. Lupin?” Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice even.

Lyall hesitated, glancing briefly toward the bedroom door where Remus rested before focusing on Sirius. “When Remus wakes up again… I want to take him back to Wales. Back home.”

Sirius blinked, caught off guard by the request. “Take him back? But he’s settled here, Lyall. He’s safe, and… well, I can keep an eye on him. He doesn’t have to go anywhere.”

Lyall sighed, his expression a mix of weariness and determination. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for him, all of you, truly. But Remus… he’s been through something terrible, and I think he needs to be home. With us, with his parents.”

Before Sirius could respond, Hope stepped out from the shadows of the hallway, her voice soft and careful. “Lyall… maybe… maybe it would be better if Remus stayed here. Especially with…” She trailed off, her words hanging in the air like a delicate thread that might snap at any moment.

Lyall glanced at her, his brow furrowing, but it was clear that he understood what she was implying, even if she couldn’t bring herself to finish. “I don’t agree, Hope. He needs to be home.”

Sirius’s voice was firm as he stepped closer. “Remus will be just as well cared for here, Lyall. He’ll have all the support he needs. And I’m a healer—I can take a few days off work to make sure he recovers properly. He’s safe here, and… you can come over anytime. The Floo will be open.”

Hope looked at Lyall with pleading eyes, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. “Gwrandewch ar Sirius os gwelwch yn dda. Remus… he’ll be okay here. We can come visit. But… but with the…”

She trailed off again, but the look on her face was enough for Lyall to know what she was about to say. He closed his eyes briefly, a look of deep conflict passing over his features.

Lyall remained silent for a long moment, his face set in a tense expression. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his temples as if trying to alleviate an unseen headache. “You’re right,” he said at last, his voice heavy. “When I’m at work, Hope alone wouldn’t be able to help him if he needs to get up, or be moved around… she’s not strong enough.”

Sirius hadn’t missed the way Hope’s shoulders slumped slightly, nor the pallor of her skin. She looked thinner and more fragile than the last time he’d seen her. He wanted to ask why, to offer help, but he stayed silent, knowing this wasn’t the time to pry.

Hope stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Sirius in a soft, grateful hug. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice trembling slightly. “Thank you for taking care of our boy.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Sirius replied, his voice equally soft. “He means the world to me.”

With the decision finally settled, Hope and Lyall turned back towards the bedroom to say their goodbyes to Remus. Sirius stood in the hallway for a moment longer, collecting his thoughts, before heading into the kitchen.

As he walked in, the scent of toasting bread filled the room. Lily was slicing tomatoes while James was carefully spreading butter on a slice of bread, his movements precise and practiced.

“Hey, Prongs,” he said, leaning against the wall closest to James. 

James turned his head slightly as Sirius entered. “So?” he asked, his tone even, but the tension in his shoulders betraying his worry.

Sirius approached, a small, relieved smile tugging at his lips. “Remus is staying,” he said simply. 

James exhaled a long, slow breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, a wave of relief washing over him. He put down the knife and reached out, finding Sirius’ shoulder as the other boy walked over, and pulling him into a tight hug.

“Thank Merlin,” James murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I was so worried…”

Sirius hugged him back just as tightly, his own emotions threatening to spill over. “Me too, mate. Me too.”

Lily set down the knife she’d been holding and moved to join them, wrapping her arms around both of them in a comforting embrace. The three of them stood there, holding onto each other, the weight of the day’s events pressing down on them.

Tears pricked at the corners of their eyes, but they didn’t try to stop them. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of friendship and the understanding that they would face whatever came next together, it felt okay to cry.