Eclipsed

November 3rd dawned grey and overcast, a fitting backdrop for Sirius’s birthday. James, ever the planner, had invited Lily, Mary, Marlene, and Peter over for a low-key celebration. He knew that Sirius wasn’t in the mood for a grand affair, and he respected that. A quiet evening with friends seemed like the best way to mark the occasion.

The evening unfolded in a comfortable rhythm. Laughter filled the flat, the shared memories of their Hogwarts days providing a steady stream of entertainment. Dinner, a simple affair of roasted chicken and vegetables, with lentil soup for the vegetarians, was accompanied by a couple of bottles of wine and a bottle of whiskey that Sirius had been saving for a special occasion. 

As the evening wore on, the alcohol flowed freely. Sirius, always the life of the party, was in unusually high spirits, compared to his sullen demeanor over the previous two days. His laughter was loud and infectious, his stories exaggerated and entertaining. 

"So, Sirius," Mary asked, her voice laced with curiosity, emboldened by the alcohol, "where's Remus? I thought your boyfriend would at least make an appearance at your birthday party."

​​Sirius, his inhibitions lowered by the alcohol, replied without thinking. "Dumbledore's whoring him out all around Europe," he said, his voice slurred. 

A stunned silence fell over the room. The laughter died down, replaced by a heavy, uncomfortable stillness.

“He’s doing some research for Dumbledore, that’s all,” Peter quickly jumped in, laughing nervously, and Mary, Marlene, and Lily looked at each other, exchanging nervous smiles as they watched James and Sirius begin a loudly-whispered argument. 

"Sirius," James began, his voice firm but gentle. "That's not funny."

Sirius, however, seemed oblivious to the gravity of the situation. He laughed, a hollow, mirthless sound. "Oh, come on, Prongs, lighten up," he slurred. "I'm just stating the facts."

"Those aren't facts, Sirius," James replied firmly. "They're accusations."

Sirius shrugged, his eyes glazed over. "Whatever," he mumbled. 

"We’re calling it a night now," James said, trying to keep his voice low. “You don’t talk about Remus like that. You’re done, Pads.” 

Sirius waved him off. "Fuck off, Jamie," he slurred loudly, his voice thick. “Anyone else want to take another shot with me?

James stood up, his patience wearing thin. "That's enough, Sirius," he said firmly. "You're drunk.” 

Sirius looked at him, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and defiance. "I'm fine," he repeated, his voice rising before suddenly slumping back into the sofa, his protests fading into unintelligible mumbles, then sniffles.

James sighed, a wave of frustration washing over him. He knew he couldn't force Sirius to do anything, but he couldn't leave him like this either.

With a heavy heart, James turned to where Lily, Marlene, and Mary were seated. "I think it's time to call it a night, girls," he said, his voice soft, defeated. “Pete, help me get Sirius back to bed before you go, won’t you? 

Lily, Marlene, and Mary exchanged sympathetic glances, however they were reluctant to get too involved. They offered their goodbyes and promises to visit again soon.

"Go on now, Sirius," Lily said gently. "We'll see you soon love, alright?"

“Happy birthday!” Mary and Marlene chorused with forced cheer, and the three slipped out of the flat, leaving James, Peter, and Sirius.

"Thanks," Sirius mumbled, his voice barely audible, head lolling to one side. The room was filled with the smell of alcohol, mixed with the remnants of dinner wafting from the pots and pans still sitting on the stove. James sighed, his heart heavy. He gently shook Sirius's shoulder. "Come on, Sirius," he said, his voice soft. "Let's get you to bed."

Between both James and Peter, they managed to help Sirius to his feet. Sirius was heavier than James remembered, especially with his body limp and unresponsive. They guided him down the hall to the bedroom, his heart aching at the sight of his friend in such a vulnerable state.

With a mixture of resignation and defiance, Sirius allowed himself to be ushered towards the bedroom. James and Peter guided Sirius into his bedroom, the dim light from the streetlamps filtering through the curtains, casting long, eerie shadows. Sirius stumbled over his own feet, his movements clumsy and uncoordinated, and both Peter and James caught him by the armpits and chest to steady him. 

"Careful there," James warned, and Sirius just laughed wetly. Peter flitted around the room, moving things off the floor for James and looking through drawers for clean pajamas for Sirius. James sat Sirius down on the bed, deftly finding and untying his shoes, pushing them beneath the bed. 

Sirius grunted in response, his movements slow and deliberate. With Peter's help, they managed to get Sirius out of his clothes and into a pair of comfortable pajama pants.

As they were tucking him into bed, Sirius's voice, slurred and melancholy, broke the silence. "Remus would've made a cake," he said, his voice filled with a wistful longing. “It’s not a birthday without a cake.” 

James paused, his heart aching for his friend. He knew how close Sirius and Remus were, and the absence of his boyfriend was undoubtedly weighing heavily on him.

"I'm sure he would have," James replied gently. "Maybe we can get him to bake us a cake when he gets back."

Sirius managed a weak smile. "Yeah, maybe."

There was a long silence. Then, Sirius spoke again, his voice barely audible. "I miss him."

James reached out and squeezed Sirius's hand. "I know," he said softly. "I miss him too."

Peter, sensing the emotional charge in the room, stood up. "I should probably head home," he said, his voice hesitant.

James nodded. "Thanks, Pete," he said. "Let's get together again soon."

Peter nodded and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

James sat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to leave Sirius as he drifted off to sleep. His friend seemed so vulnerable, so lost. A wave of compassion washed over James. He reached out, feeling for Sirius’ head, and brushed a strand of hair glued with sweat to the top of his forehead. 

When he started to hear the sounds of birds, traffic, and commuters beginning to gather outside, James stood up and stretched, his muscles stiff from sitting for so long. Tomorrow would be a better day. 

By the end of November, the first snowfall of the year had blanketed the Welsh countryside in a pristine layer of white. The Lupin cottage, nestled amidst the snow-covered hills, looked like a fairytale cottage from a distant dream. As Sirius apparated into the small garden, the silence was broken only by the soft crunch of snow beneath his boots. 

Sirius hesitated for a moment, then knocked on the door. Remus had been gone for nearly a month, his letters growing increasingly sparse and filled with cryptic references to his research, and Sirius was eager to see his boyfriend after so long apart, even if it happened to be the worst day of the month. It opened almost immediately, revealing Hope Lupin, her face breaking into a smile as she saw who was at the door.

"Sirius," she said, her voice filled with relief. "You're here!"

Sirius nodded, stepping inside. The cottage was filled with a comforting warmth, the scent of pine needles and cinnamon filling the air. “I’ll always come when called, Hope, especially when it comes to our Remus.” 

“He’s just sitting up on the couch, waiting for you,” she told him, and as Sirius kicked off his snowy boots by the door, Hope called out to Remus. ”Annwyl, mae e yma i'ch codi chi, Sirius is here! Do you want me to get your shoes, or can you handle them?” 

“Mam, stopiwch, dwi'n iawn… I’m just a bit– oh Sirius!” A smile, tentative but genuine, spread across his face.

Sirius grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Hey, Moony," he replied, his voice filled with a warmth that matched Remus'. He reached out, his hand hovering over Remus' face. Hesitantly, he touched his forehead, fingers tracing the familiar contours, although Sirius swore they were more pronounced than they’d been a month before. Remus was burning up.

"You have a fever, love," Sirius said, his voice filled with concern.

Remus forced a smile. "Just a touch of the flu, I think I’m mostly over it now," he lied, his voice weak, “I haven’t gotten much rest, and the research is… demanding. My immune system has always been fussy, you know."

Sirius studied Remus's face, searching for any sign of deception. But Remus's expression was impassive. 

"Alright. We need to get you out of here," Sirius said, his voice firm. "The full moon is almost here."

Remus hesitated. "I can apparate," he said, his voice wavering.

Sirius shook his head. "Not likely. Side-along with me, okay?"

Remus sighed in resignation. He turned to his mother, his eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Mam," he said. “Tell Dad too, okay?” 

Hope nodded. "Take care of him, Sirius," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

With Remus's belongings packed in a small bag, Sirius helped him into his coat. As he guided Remus towards the door, he couldn't help but notice how unsteady his boyfriend was on his feet. Whatever had gone on during his month of research was not normal, but now was not the time to get in a fight over it, not this close to the moon. 

As they stepped outside into the cold November air, Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus, pulling him close as the other boy’s knees threatened to buckle. 

“Ready, love?” Remus nodded curtly, and with a wink they were off. 

When Sirius and Remus arrived, Peter and James had been waiting for a short while in the cold, with James huddled up under a tree and Peter pacing back and forth, the pink on his nose evident against his pale skin. 

“You made it!” Peter exclaimed, clearly relieved. “We thought we might be in the wrong place… cutting it close, huh Moony?” Remus lifted his head to smile at Peter, and there was no way to conceal the look of surprise that came over Peter’s face. 

“Remus! How was your trip?” James asked, reaching an arm out to Remus, who took James’ hand and pulled him in for a hug. 

Peter quickly leaned over to Sirius. 

“What the fuck happened to him?" He whispered, seeing Remus distracted catching up with James. "He’s lost a lot of weight, hasn't he?” 

Sirius nodded minutely.  “Let’s talk about it later, Pete, I have no idea what happened.” He cleared his throat. “Alright, lads, let’s get inside the wards before it’s too late.” 

As they entered the forest, the trees seemed to close around them, creating a dark, almost claustrophobic tunnel. The only sound was the crunch of leaves beneath their feet and the occasional hoot of an owl.  Peter led the way, James’ hand in the crook of his elbow, while Sirius half-supported Remus as they walked behind. 

They reached the clearing where they had cast the protective enchantments. It was a small, circular space surrounded by a ring of ancient trees. The air was thick with the scent of pine needles and damp earth.

Sirius helped Remus to sit down at the base of a large oak tree. Remus closed his eyes, his breathing rapid and shallow.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sirius asked, his voice filled with concern.

Remus nodded, his voice weak. "Just tired," he said, and while Sirius didn’t quite believe him, there was no time. “Transform, transform now!” 

As the full moon rose to its peak, casting a glow over the forest, Remus began to transform. The change was swift and brutal, and more violent than usual, bones seeming to pop in and out as they contorted Remus’ body into that of the wolf. The Marauders quickly transformed into their animagi, and watched from a safe distance away as the werewolf paced restlessly, its eyes filled with a feral intensity.

The night passed in a blur of heightened senses and primal instincts. The werewolf was different, snappish, and filled with a raw, animalistic anger. He wouldn’t chase a rabbit, but would growl and snarl at every passing creature, his pack included, baring his teeth and releasing warning barks at anything that dared come too close. 

​​When the first rays of dawn touched the forest, the transformation began to reverse. The wolf shrank, its form contorting as it reverted back to human form. Remus came back to himself naked in the center of the clearing. He looked paler than ever, his breathing shallow and rapid, and he didn’t even stir. Sirius and Peter exchanged alarmed glances, while James stood closeby, unsure of what was going on. 

Panic surged through Sirius as he rushed over knelt beside Remus, his hands trembling as he felt for a pulse, checking his head for any injuries. "We need to get him home," Sirius said, as Peter came over to them with the bag of Remus’ clothes. “I’ll meet you at the Lupin’s.” 

Peter nodded. “James, are you okay to side-along with me?” James agreed, and the two hurried out to the edge of the forest, where the apparition point was. 

Sirius wrapped the coat around Remus’ body, and scooped him up into his arms. He carried him towards the edge of the forest, and once he’d reached the point, he apparated them both to the front door of the Lupins’ cottage. 

Hope and Lyall were waiting for them with the front doors open, their faces filled with worry. Behind them stood James and Peter, looking exhausted from the long night with Moony, but with steaming mugs in their hands. 

"What happened?" Hope demanded, her voice trembling.

Sirius hesitated, unsure himself.

“It doesn’t matter,” Lyall interrupted, brusquely. “Just get him on the couch. He’s going blue from cold.” 

After managing between Lyall and Sirius to get Remus onto the couch, Hope and Lyall moved with swift efficiency, their movements well-rehearsed as longtime caregivers to a young werewolf. They stripped Remus of his damp coat, replacing it with a soft, woolen robe, and Hope handed Sirius a pair of pants to wrestle Remus into. Blankets, thick and heavy, were piled on top of him, transforming the couch into a makeshift cocoon. 

As the blankets began to warm Remus's skin, Sirius pointed his wand at Remus, tracing intricate patterns in the air, the incantations a low murmur in the otherwise silent room.

“This isn’t quite what I was expecting,” Sirius began, interpreting the results of the spell, “But I can’t say I’m surprised.” Remus had been severely dehydrated and his blood sugar levels were dangerously low. The transformation had exacerbated the problem, but it wasn't the root cause of him remaining unconscious for so long.

Sirius felt a wave of relief wash over him. It was a frightening ordeal, but at least it wasn't something life-threatening.

Lyall and Hope began conversing amongst themselves in Welsh as they walked to the kitchen and the living room, bits of English mixed in, filling the other three men in the room into what was going on. 

"Ydy e wedi bod yn… err.. starving himself?" Lyall murmured to his wife, his voice filled with concern. "He's lost a lot of weight, Hope."

She nodded, her eyes filled with tears. "I know," she whispered. “Pan ddaeth adref ddoe, I was so scared.” 

Hope returned with a glass of water and a packet of sugar. She carefully helped Remus drink the water, then spooned the sugar into his mouth. Slowly, Remus's eyelids fluttered open. His eyes were glazed over, his breathing still rapid. He looked around, his gaze landing on the concerned faces of his parents and friends.

"What happened?" he whispered, his voice hoarse.

Sirius explained briefly, his voice gentle. "You didn't wake up after the transformation, love. You've been out for a while."

Remus nodded, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and exhaustion. He tried to sit up, but his body rebelled.

"Stay still," Lyall said from his place in the doorway, his voice firm. "You need to rest."

Remus closed his eyes, his breathing slowing down. Within minutes, he was asleep again, his body limp and relaxed.

As Remus slept, the four adults gathered in the kitchen. Hope distributed steaming mugs of tea all around as they discussed the situation. 

"Where has he been?" James asked, echoing the question they’d all been thinking of. “Has he told you anything?” 

Lyall shook his head. "We don't know," he said, his voice heavy with regret. "Dumbledore asked him to do some research, which apparently he can’t talk about, and he's been gone for weeks. He only returned yesterday."

“I can’t imagine what kind of research he could be doing to leave him in such horrible shape,” Sirius quipped darkly, and the table collectively agreed. "We need to talk to Dumbledore," Sirius announced, his voice filled with determination. "Something is clearly wrong- either with Remus or the research."

"We can't involve Dumbledore," Lyall said, his voice firm. "Not yet."

Sirius and Peter exchanged a bewildered look. "What do you mean?" Sirius asked, his voice laced with confusion.

Hope hesitated, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and resignation. " "Finding a job in the wizarding world is difficult enough. If Albus dismisses Remus… you know how difficult it is for a werewolf to find employment. The stigma is… well, you've all seen it."

A heavy silence fell over the room, and James' heart felt heavy in his chest. "But what about his health?" he protested.

Lyall sighed. "We'll talk to him about taking better care of himself," he said firmly. "But he can't risk losing his job. He needs this… not necessarily for the money but… you know."

Sirius and Peter exchanged another look, this time filled with frustration. A single dismissal from Dumbledore, a respected figure like him, could brand Remus as unfit, untrustworthy. Finding another decent job would be nearly impossible. They knew that Lyall and Hope were right, but they couldn't shake the feeling that they were being forced to accept the unacceptable. 

As the day wore on, Remus began to recover. The fever broke, and his color returned. James and Peter left around noon, leaving Sirius to sit with Remus as he slept. As the afternoon turned to evening, Sirius decided he needed some fresh air. He excused himself and stepped outside into the crisp December air.

Sirius wandered through the garden, his mind racing as his fingertips grew numb from cold. He was angry, frustrated, and most of all, worried. Remus was clearly hiding something, and it was tearing him apart.

He returned to the cottage, his heart heavy. Remus was still asleep, his breathing slow and regular. Sirius sat down beside the bed, his hand reaching out to touch Remus's forehead. It was cool, no longer burning hot.

A wave of relief washed over him, followed immediately by concern. Remus was recovering, but the underlying problem remained. He had to find out what was wrong with his boyfriend, and he was determined to do it without involving Dumbledore. 

He wanted a drink, but tried to push the thought out of his mind, focusing instead on his boyfriend, beginning to stir on the couch. 

"You okay?" Sirius asked, his voice filled with concern.

Remus offered a weak smile. "Feeling a bit… drained," he admitted, his voice raspy.

Sirius helped him sit up on the couch, pulling a blanket around his shoulders. "You scared the living shit out of us," he said, a hint of bitterness bleeding through his otherwise gentle tone. “You just crumbled, you were so cold… fuck, Moony, never do that to me again. 

Remus closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, leaning into Sirius’ side and snuggling in.

"Remus," Sirius started, rubbing his hands up and down Remus’ arm, "where have you been all this time? What was this research about?"

Remus's smile faltered. He looked away, his eyes flickering towards his parents. "I… I went on a research trip," he stammered, his voice weak. "For Dumbledore."

"Research trip? Don’t lie to me, Remus," Sirius scoffed. "You look like you haven't eaten in weeks, do you know that? What the hell did he put you through?"

Remus closed his eyes, a wave of dizziness washing over him. "I can't… I can't talk about it right now," he whispered, his voice fading. "It'll be fine."

The frustration that had been simmering within Sirius boiled over. "Fine? It's not fine!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the room. "You're exhausted, you're sick, and you won't even tell us what's wrong!"

Remus's face hardened. "Just drop it, Sirius," he said, his voice cold.

A heavy silence descended upon the room once more. 

"I should probably get going," Sirius said, standing up. "I've got work in the morning."

Remus nodded. "Thanks for staying," he said.

As Sirius was about to leave, he hesitated. He wanted to tell Remus that he loved him, but the words seemed stuck in his throat. He settled for a kiss to the top of the head, his hand caressing Remus’ cheek for a moment before he pulled away.

"I'll see you soon," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

With that, he turned and left the cottage, the door closing softly behind him.