Eclipsed

In the days that followed, James gradually adjusted to his new reality. After his cry on that first day, he had a doggedly positive attitude about it all, much to the relief of his healers and his mother. 

The swelling around his eyes had subsided, and the dark halo that had begun closing in on his vision had mostly stayed the same as it was before. His remaining vision, though was even blurrier than it already had been due to the scarring inflicted from the incident, which couldn’t be corrected by a glasses prescription. However, he reluctantly began wearing the dark glasses that he’d worn over the summer, now grateful for the relief they offered from the light, which now seemed to irritate his eyes to no end, no matter how dim. 

Thanks to his lessons with Felicity, he hadn’t been thrown completely in the deep end with some of the other changes, namely using a cane due to losing the use of most of his remaining vision. However it was still a huge adjustment, and James found himself feeling lost more often than not, even in the small world of the hospital wing. 

Effie split her time between Hogwarts and St. Mungo's, her presence a comforting constant in James' life. She would sit by his bedside, support him as Felicity came by to try and help him adjust, bringing comforting things from home or food she'd made, to try and help the transition feel a little less harsh. 

Sirius, Remus, and Peter visited James daily, their unwavering support a lifeline amidst the uncertainty. Sirius, in particular, seemed determined to make amends for his earlier lapse in judgment. He showed up after classes every day completely sober, and had promised both James and Remus he’d do his best to stick with it this time.

One afternoon, five days after the attack had taken place, after Effie said her goodbyes to James, Peter, and Remus, Sirius walked her to Pomfrey’s office, pulling her aside just outside the door. "Effie, you need to take better care of yourself," he said firmly, his voice tinged with worry. "You look exhausted." 

She’d done her best to appear as though nothing was wrong, but Sirius could tell she was slipping. Her hair was done in a long braid, and just as there were flyaways escaping the plait’s grip, he knew Effie was beginning to come undone as well. 

"I'm fine, Sirius," she replied halfheartedly, “but that is so sweet of you to worry.” 

Sirius shook his head, his gaze unwavering. "No, you're not," he insisted. "You're running yourself ragged, and it's not fair to you, or Fleamont, or James."

Effie's resolve faltered, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I just want him to be okay," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“And we need you to be healthy.” Effie looked down, and allowed Sirius to pull her into a hug. “Please, Mum, rest. Don't come back tomorrow, alright? James is in good spirits, right? He’s going back to class this week, and I’ll be sure to write to you if anything happens, I promise.” 

Effie pulled away and nodded. “Thank you, darling. I– I trust you, alright. Please watch out for him.”

“I will.” 

A week after the incident, James returned to classes. Unfortunately, due to a lack of 'reliable eyewitnesses,' there had been no individual punishments doled out for what had happened to James, which seemed completely unreasonable, and made him feel quite unsafe roaming the halls. With this in mind, James had already committed to sticking by someone's side 24/7, just as his mum and the professors were encouraging him to do, for the time being. 

Just before his first day back, Professor McGonagall called him into her office, to discuss the new accommodations he'd be receiving. "You’ll need to receive the course materials in advance, and I will ensure that all your assignments are made accessible," she said, her voice firm yet compassionate.

"Thank you, Professor," James replied, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders.

In terms of academics, James managed to do alright by the end of the term, despite the challenges he'd faced post-injury. There was a bit of a learning curve with the new spells, tools, and accommodations he was set to receive from his professors, not only on James’ end, but on theirs as well.

Most of the professors were very on-board with helping him catch up and stay on top of his work. Professor Flitwick, in particular, went above and beyond, taking the time to talk with James one-on-one and explaining in detail other spells that Felicity hadn’t gotten to yet, and physically guiding James through how to perform the wand work on certain spells. 

“If you ever need any extra help, my door is always open," he’d said, before giving James a detailed list of office hours, handing him a sheet of parchment with all the information written down, and a tactile marker on the top, to differentiate it from other pieces of parchment. 

"This is brilliant, Professor. Thank you so much," James said, his gratitude evident.

Upon his return to classes, James also came to realize how emotionally draining it would be to have a visible disability, and to be markedly different from his peers. He felt uncomfortable going between classes alone; he preferred to go from class to class with Remus, or Sirius or Peter, who’d come and find him when Remus was indisposed. He had his cane, but was extremely self-conscious about using it, especially because he knew how many eyes were on him. 

Students in the halls cast furtive glances his way, uncertain how to approach him. Although he couldn’t quite see them, he felt the weight of their stares and whispers, an uncomfortable reminder of how much his life had changed. Each day blended  into the next as James adjusted to his new reality. He declined to join in on full moon nights, the nights when he, Remus, Sirius, and Peter would transform and roam the grounds. 

"I just don't feel…," he began to explain himself to Remus, a couple days before the May moon, the first one since he’d been attacked. 

"I understand," Remus had interrupted, before he’d gotten too far. "You need to take care of yourself," he reminded James, his voice gentle and his hand soft on James’ shoulder.

While the full moon nights were not as fun, and Padfoot did end up a bit more bruised than he had before, Remus, Sirius, and Peter managed on their own. 

"It's not the same without you," Sirius admitted to James afterwards, wincing as he examined a  fresh bruise on his side. "But we’ll get by."

Guilt at an all time high over this, James did, however, sit by Remus' side for hours in the hospital wing after the transformation, now armed with more than just snacks. 

"Thanks for being here, Prongs," Remus said, adjusting himself in bed, mindful of the pain in his back and hips that seemed to increase with every full moon. 

"It’s the least I can do," James replied, passing him a stack of class notes. "And now that the teachers have to give me the materials in advance, neither of us will fall too far behind.” 

Their joint study sessions became a ritual, full moon or not. As their end-of-term exams approached, it was a common sight to see James and Remus together in the common room, taking over an entire table with their notes, books, and of course, snacks. The familiar routine became a comforting balm for both of them, and forced Peter and Sirius to study as well, especially since Clarissa, Peter’s girlfriend, was panicking over her O.W.L.’s and insisted that Remus was the best tutor in Gryffindor.

Quidditch was clearly out of the question. The realization was a bitter pill to swallow, one that James most struggled to come to terms with. Ivy, his assistant captain, approached him in the common room, a couple days after he’d returned from the hospital wing. "James, I heard what happened. Are you... are you okay?"

James gave a tight smile. "I'm alright, Ivy. I- I'm sorry I left you in such a lurch."

"Shut the fuck up, Potter. Don't you dare blame yourself for this." There was a pause, then a short intake of breath. "Listen, I was just- we were all kinda wondering- are you coming back to practice? I guess you can’t fly but like… fuck, just to coach at least? To strategize? We miss you."

James, however, declined immediately, a smile plastered on his face. "Ivy, that is so sweet, really, but this is why you were made assistant captain. In case something like this happened. I mean not this exact scenario, but... you know what I mean." He shook his head. "I… don’t think there’s much I can do without seeing you all play, you know?”

Ivy shrugged, disappointed. “I guess,” she answered, but didn’t leave him with the last word. "If you change your mind though, the offer's always open," she said before patting him on the shoulder and pushing past him to go to her next class.

James' friends did their best to distract him and keep him away from the worst of the gossip, and from his boredom; they included him in conversations, made sure he didn't feel left out, and tried to maintain a sense of normalcy. However, James couldn't help but overhear the hushed conversations and snippets of rumors as he passed by. He might have been more blind than before, but he certainly wasn't deaf.

The incident had caused Slytherin to lose a significant number of points, sparking endless gossip. Students speculated about what had happened, piecing together fragments of information. Despite the lack of a formal confession, the general, and accurate consensus was that a group of Slytherins was responsible. The whispers and rumors only served to amplify the event, making it an even bigger deal, which gnawed at James.

As he pushed himself to get back to as much of a normal life as he could, as quickly as he could, James spent as much time as he could studying. He felt like drowning out his own thoughts, to keep himself from spiraling over everything in his life that seemed out of control, could at least serve a practical purpose. On one such afternoon, James and Lily were seated at their usual spot in the library, books and parchment spread out in front of them as they worked on their project. The quiet hum of students working filled the air, a comforting backdrop as they delved into their research over obliviation and other memory spells. 

Using scriptio sonoro channeled through a pair of bulky muggle headphones his mum had somehow procured after a talk with Felicity, James tried to focus on the text in front of him, but his brain was starting to become mush from the drone of the text in his ears. As he took the headphones off to comment on a passage to Lily, he couldn't help but overhear a group of students at a nearby table. Their voices were low, but the content of their conversation was unmistakable.

"You heard what happened to Potter, right?" one voice whispered, a mixture of excitement and trepidation in her tone.

"Yeah, I heard it was a bunch of Slytherins," her friend replied. "Apparently, they cursed him so bad he might never see properly again."

"One of the Slytherin prefects told me that he thinks that weird guy, Snape, was involved," a third voice chimed in. "He said he bets Snape planned the whole thing. Always had it out for Potter, didn't he?"

"I heard it was all because he was getting too cozy with Evans," a fourth voice added, lowering her voice further. "They wanted to teach him a lesson, I'd say."

"They used the Conjunctivitis Curse on him," the first voice continued, matching the intensity of her friends. "Heard his eyes are all messed up now, like, permanently… you’re only supposed to use that on like… dragons, I think."

James's grip on his quill tightened, the whispers triggering a wave of anxiety. His mind began to spiral, the familiar panic setting in. The library around him seemed to blur and darken, the voices melding into a cacophony that drowned out everything else. Images of the attack flooded his mind: the cold stone floor, the cruel laughter, the blinding pain. 

"James?" Lily's voice cut through the haze, her tone calm but urgent. She reached out, placing a hand on his arm. "James, are you alright?"

He tried to respond, but he felt the room spinning around him, and a cold sweat came over him like the beginning of a fever, his heart pounding in his chest.

"James, it's okay," Lily said firmly, squeezing his arm gently. "You're here with me. Just breathe, okay?"

He took a shaky breath, trying to anchor himself to her voice. Lily's hand was a steadying presence, grounding him in the present moment.

"That's it," she encouraged. "In and out. Focus on my voice."

Gradually, the panic began to recede, the images of the attack fading. The sounds of the library came back into focus, the voices around them distant and unimportant. James's breathing slowed, his heart rate beginning to return to normal.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, embarrassed by his reaction and self-conscious, unsure if people had noticed, or if they were watching him. 

"Don't be," Lily said softly, her eyes filled with concern. "You've had a rough go of it lately, haven’t you?"

James nodded, still feeling a bit shaken. All at once, the energy seemed to drain out of his body, and he involuntarily slumped forwards in his seat, still recovering his breath. 

Lily glanced around the library, noticing the group of students staring at them. She gave them a sharp look and they quickly looked away, and loudly started a new conversation. "Let's get out of here," she suggested, pointedly speaking in the girls' direction. "Some people's voices are just so obnoxious."

James agreed, gathering his things with shaky hands, holding them close to his body, cradled in his left arm. Lily stayed close to him, his right hand in the crook of her left arm, guiding him through the library and out into the quieter corridors. The walk back to the common room was a slow one, but Lily kept a steady pace, making sure James didn't feel rushed.

"If you ever want to talk–" she began gently as they walked, but James quickly cut her off.

"No, I’m alright," James assured her. "But thanks. That's very kind, Evans.” 

Not wanting to seem like a bad sport, and despite avoiding everyone on the team as much as possible, James dutifully attended the final two Quidditch matches as well, though much of the thrill was lost now that he could no longer see the action. He sat in the stands, listening intently as Peter described the plays. James would cheer or boo in response, perfectly in sync with the crowd around him, playing the part of an avid spectator flawlessly. When Gryffindor won their match against Hufflepuff, James was among the first to congratulate them. 

The celebratory party at the end of the term was a bittersweet affair, though, as Gryffindor had come in second for the house cup, just behind Ravenclaw. "Second place isn't bad," Ivy said, clinking her glass against James'. "But we'll get them next year, won't we?"

James nodded, another wide smile tacked on his face. "Absolutely you will. And I'll be cheering you on every step of the way."

As the party carried on, James found a moment to himself, sitting by the window and listening to the sounds of his friends celebrating. 

“All good, Prongs?” Sirius asked, breaking James from his thoughts. 

“Yeah, of course,” he replied. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine,” Sirius answered. “Moony and I are about to head up for the night, you want to join us?” 

James shook his head. “Nah. I’ll give you an hour. Try to crack a window this time, won’t you?” 

Sirius laughed. “Dirty, dirty mind, Prongs!” He turned. “If you’re not up in an hour, I’ll come looking for you, alright?” 

“Alright.” 

James waved in Sirius’ general direction, and stayed in his seat by the window, wishing he could've have followed him upstairs, but knowing that he and Remus were about to spend months apart, and wanting to be a good wingman to the both of them. As he leaned his head back against the window, a voice jerked him upright. 

“Ooh, sorry James! Didn’t mean to surprise you!” 

An awkward laugh. 

“It’s Lily, by the way.” 

James smiled, a real smile. “Lily! As if I wouldn’t recognize your dulcet tones ringing in my ears.” He hadn’t flirted with her in months, but the alcohol in him was empowering. 

“There’s the Potter I know.” 

James covered his mouth in feigned surprise. “After all these months of James, I’ve been demoted to Potter again?” 

“Well, Potter,” she joked, “you of all people should know. Bad pickup lines equals loss of privileges.” 

James shook his head, a smile still playing on his lips. “Well Evans, it was nice while it lasted.” 

“It certainly was,” Lily replied, before a moment of silence passed between the two of them. “Listen, James,” she said, after enough time had passed. “It’s been great working with you in class this year. Thanks for all the work you put in… even after everything.” 

James shrugged. “Just doing my best.” A beat. “It’s been great getting to know you too this past year. You really are a brilliant witch.” Another round of silence, and then James spoke again, suddenly insecure. “I… I hope you know I meant it like… in the best way. Like not creepy or anything, like… like a respectful kind of way, you know?” 

Lily laughed, and to James, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. “James… I'm blushing. I know. And for the record, I think you’re brilliant as well.” She squeezed his hand, and congratulated him again on their top grades in Ethics of Magic before going off to join her friends. "See you in the Fall, James."  

When Sirius came back down for him, an hour later as promised, James was all smiles. All real smiles.