Eclipsed

Lily and Remus' once strong friendship had been eroding steadily since their appointment as prefects, especially from Lily's side of things. She found herself increasingly frustrated with Remus' frequent unexcused absences from meetings and rounds, a pattern that seemed to persist despite her repeated attempts to address it with him directly and with McGonagall. She also couldn't help but feel infuriated by his apparent inability to rein in his friends' unruly behavior, which only seemed to escalate with each passing day, especially since their return from break.

Since their fight at the beginning of the term, though, he’d made a point to avoid talking to her as much as he could in the most Remus way possible: by politely avoiding eye contact and finding terrible excuses to get out of conversation with her. The most notable one had been just that morning, when she'd attempted to ask Remus a question about the Arithmancy homework and he'd claimed it had been eaten by his dog and run away... which was clearly a poorly thought out lie since there was no way he had a dog at school. 

Therefore, when Lily spotted Remus sitting alone and looking glum at a party celebrating the Gryffindor team’s latest win, she felt that he wasn’t her concern. The room was filled with the perfect mix of muggle and wixen rock, and there were drinks flowing and snacks abundant, people dancing, chatting, or snogging in nearly every corner, and the perfect night for her to let go of her prefect duties and have a good time. With a quick scan of the room, Lily searched for whoevers responsibility Remus should have been for the night, and surprisingly, came up pretty empty handed.

Lately, Sirius and Remus had been seen together almost nonstop, especially since James and Marlene had officially started dating, and Peter had been trying to date any girl who paid attention to him. That evening, though, Lily noticed Sirius boy chatting and drinking with a particular group of Seventh Year students, who were known for their radical politics, music, and, some would say, illegal substances. Deciding to steer clear of whatever they were up to, she turned to look for Peter, who she found on one of the couches, getting rather close with a Fourth Year student, Clarissa Lima. Despite her instinct to warn the girl against involving herself with one of those boys, Lily chose not to involve herself.

Therefore, she was left with only one option, James, who had been dancing with Marlene all evening. Despite disapproving of Marlene’s choice in boyfriends, Lily still considered herself and Marlene to be good friends. She slipped through the crowd and made her way over to the couple, hoping to convince at least one of them to deal with Remus, who looked like he’d been sucking on a lemon all night.

“Hey, Marly,” she shouted over the music, joining them. Marlene released James and enveloped Lily in a tight hug, clearly a little drunk. Lily laughed as Marlene leaned heavily on her.

“Lily! What brings you over here?” Marlene yelled.

“Nothing much, just got sick of watching Remus torturing himself in the corner over there,” she laughed, but James’ concerned expression caught her off guard. He squinted in the direction she’d indicated, although it wasn’t really that far away to warrant such an intense squint, in her opinion. 

“What, he looks like he’s gonna faint or something?” James asked her, immediately beginning to detangle himself from Marlene, and the throng of people around them.  

“No, just looks upset,” Lily replied, unsure of why James was so worried. “The rest of your friends seem kind of caught up, so I figured I’d come let you know so you could go over there and sort him out. I don’t think I’m the person he wants to be talking to now anyways,” she told them, and James hesitated, his eyes flickering between Remus in the corner and Marlene at his side, who was clearly enjoying herself.

"Come on, James,” Marlene said, letting go of Lily and wrapping her arms around James’ neck again. “Let Remus sort out his own feelings for once. We're having a great time!"

Reluctantly, James agreed, giving Lily an apologetic look before turning back to Marlene and getting back into the music. 

Lily sighed, deciding to let it go for the moment. Remus wasn’t her problem anyway, and in fact, Marlene was right! He was fifteen. He could figure out his own feelings for once. She caught up with Mary and some fourth year girls, and joined in the dancing and laughter for a while, forgetting all about Remus and the Marauders for the time being. 

The party was starting to wind down, and Lily was thinking of getting to bed herself when she saw Remus stomp up the stairs, up to the boy’s dorms, alone. As she scanned the room, her gaze fell on Sirius, who was sitting close to and sharing a drink with one of the seventh years, Benjy. Sirius' eyes followed Remus as he went up, but his focus went quickly back to his conversation with Benjy, which seemed intense. Lily felt like just by watching them, with their heads so close they could be touching, that she was intruding on some private moment, so she looked away, and made a choice she hoped she wouldn’t regret. 

Lily didn’t want to get involved, especially since they were somewhat on the outs, but she couldn’t help but worry about Remus. Before she could stop herself, Lily crept up to the boys’ dorm. 

She knocked, and waited for a moment, but there was no response. With a shaky breath, she pushed open the door, hoping her intrusion wouldn’t cause another argument between herself and her former friend.

“Remus?” she whispered into the dimness, her voice barely audible in the quiet room. The air was heavy with silence, broken only by the soft rustle of sheets and the distant murmur of voices from downstairs.

As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, Lily surveyed the room, each corner revealing a different facet of its occupants. The stark contrast between the beds hinted at the personalities of their occupants. The one immediately to her right had the curtains flung open, with the sheets rumpled and a large divination textbook open in the center, while the one to her left looked like it had never been slept in, aside from the small pile of clothes pristinely folded on top. She crept further in, and saw how the bed on the right was just as neat, but obviously James’ from the sheer amount of Quidditch magazines stacked up on the desk. That left only one option, the final bed on the left. 

With cautious steps, Lily approached the last bed. Clothes lay on the floor, but neatly folded in different piles, and books were piled haphazardly on the dresser, but stacked only on top of other books related to similar topics. A lone chocolate bar teetered on the edge of the dresser, a precarious balance in the midst of disorder, and a clear indicator as to whose bed it was. Remus’s space was a mix of order and chaos, both a surprise and exactly what Lily expected from him.

“Remus?” she called again, her voice tinged with concern as she leaned closer to the closed curtains, straining to hear any response. The sound of his breathing reached her ears, muffled but present, and she couldn’t suppress the worry that tightened her chest.

“I’m fine, thanks,” came his reply from within, the words laced with an edge that gave Lily pause. “Go back to the party.” 

Despite Remus’s dismissal, Lily couldn’t bring herself to leave. With a determined set to her jaw, she remained rooted in place, hoping to make up for their differences as prefects with the commitment of being a better friend. “I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re okay,” Lily declared softly, her voice a gentle yet unwavering insistence.

Inside the cocoon of his bed curtains, Remus shifted uncomfortably, her presence and worry making him squirm. Who was she to get in his business, especially with how their friendship had disintegrated over the past few months... although she was the one person who'd noticed.

Remus huffed in frustration with himself, and rolled away from where he knew she was standing, just outside the curtain.

“I’m fine, Lily, really,” Remus insisted, voice straining with the effort of maintaining the facade. “Just not feeling well, that’s all. It’s nothing new, I’m used to it.”

Lily stared at the bed curtains, unsure of what to do. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” Lily said gently, “especially with me. But I’m your friend still, and I care about you.” She grabbed the curtain, and slowly opened it, revealing Remus, fully clothed, curled up in his bedsheets. She could see the weariness etched into the lines of his features, the shadows beneath his eyes betraying the facade of okayness he always tried to exude. 

Remus hesitated, but when he finally spoke, his voice refused to climb above a whisper. “Please, Lily, just… leave me alone. I’m… I’m fine.”

Lily nodded, reluctantly acknowledging Remus's request. She knew their friendship wasn’t in a place where she could push him until he cracked. With a final glance, she turned and quietly slipped out of the room, the soft click of the door closing behind her echoing in the silent corridor.

Passing Peter on the stairs, Lily hesitated momentarily as he slipped inside the room behind her, curiosity getting the better of her despite her better judgment. Lily inched back up towards the door, grateful that Peter had left it slightly ajar, providing her with an opportunity to eavesdrop on the conversation within.

"Moony? What’s wrong?" Peter's concerned voice reached her ears, followed by the sound of sniffling and the rustling of sheets.

Moony?

"Just not feeling well, that’s all," Remus's voice replied, the strain evident even from far away. "You can go."

"It’s a little early for you to be feeling so... moony, isn’t it?" Peter's attempt at humor seemed to have fallen flat, immediately followed by a frantic backpedal. "No, no, you’re ok, Remus! It’s alright!" There was some more sniffling and some more comforting from Peter as Lily listened intently, something gnawing at her conscience as she realized she was intruding on a private moment.

"Do you want me to grab Padfoot? I know he’s better at this than me."

"No," Remus said, his voice thick. "He’s… he’s busy. I’m glad you’re here, Pete."

Feeling increasingly guilty for eavesdropping, and honestly more confused than she’d been before, Lily silently retreated down the stairs, nearly running into another Marauder on the way down. 

“Hey, Evans,” James called to her as they passed, and Lily stopped and turned to face him. 

“Yeah, Potter?” She turned to face him, unsure what to expect. 

"Thanks for going after him," James said sincerely, a warm smile gracing his features. "I would've but... Marlene, you know? She was having a good time, and--" James shrugged. 

Lily managed a tight smile in return, her guilt intensifying as she privately acknowledged how her intrusion was not good friend material. "Sure thing, Potter."

Making her way back into the common room, Lily's gaze swept across the dimly lit space. Her eyes fell upon Sirius, still seated with Benjy and the other seventh-year boys, their silhouettes illuminated by the flickering firelight. Sirius's distinctive features stood out amidst the shadows, his unruly, growing-out hair and new ear piercing catching her eye.

Their brief exchange was filled with unspoken tension, Sirius's challenging gaze daring her to intervene. Yet, Lily chose to avert her eyes, having had enough of the boys’ drama for one night, and ready to sleep off whatever hangover she’d earned that night on her own.