Eclipsed

As the term unfolded, James found a newfound sense of confidence at school, where in a way, things felt easier than they had before. While he kept his vision issues discreet, confiding only in his three best friends and, of course, his professors, their efforts to adjust and account for his few specific needs made a big impact on his daily life. Missing out on late-night escapades with the Marauders (well… not all time) felt a small sacrifice in exchange for being at school. 

His visits to Pomfrey were short and sweet, Quidditch was going well, his grades were high, and the only things not going his way were getting Lily Evans to fall in love with him, and having to spend his time outside of Quidditch in detention with Sirius, since they hadn’t quite nailed down fooling around in the front row without getting caught. In fact, his biggest preoccupation as Fourth Year drew to an end, was not his own health, but Remus’. 

As months passed, the lunar cycle seemed to take an increasingly strong grip on Remus, his pre-moon symptoms intensifying and the full moon nights growing more violent and physically draining. Each transformation left him taking a longer and longer recovery period in the safety of the Hospital Wing. 

The night before the full moon, which would fall on James' birthday, the four boys were in the dorm, celebrating James’ birthday a night early so that Remus could be there. James and Sirius exchanged subtle looks as they watched Remus push a piece of cake around on his plate, Peter sitting on his bed and keeping up a stream of chatter to distract him. He’d always been taller and leaner than the others, but especially next to their well-fed friend,  Remus seemed smaller than he ever had, his cheeks hollow and his skin pale. 

He was definitely putting on a brave face for their little party; most months he’d have headed towards the hospital wing at this point, but even Remus couldn’t hold it together forever. He’d only just set down the cake and closed his eyes, clearly nauseous, before Sirius leapt off of James’ bed and pulled Remus towards the bathroom, letting the door slam behind them. 

James adjusted the volume on the record player, filling the room with music to offer Remus a semblance of privacy as he puked, meanwhile, he and Peter each grabbed another slice of cake and began a game of Exploding Snap, the cards’ snapping and popping punctuating the quiet that had fallen over the room. 

After what felt like an eternity, Sirius and Remus emerged from the bathroom. Remus looked pale and weary, but he allowed Sirius to clean him up before they made their way to the Hospital Wing. Before leaving, Remus, who was typically the least affectionate of them all,  reached to James for a hug, his voice heavy with apology.

"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday," Remus murmured, and James squeezed him back reassuringly, brushing aside the apology.

 "You haven't ruined anything, Remus. Don't be ridiculous. It’s time for bed now anyways, isn’t it?"

Seeing Sirius shouldering Remus' bag, James released his friend from the embrace, waving them off with promises to swing by in the morning. As the door closed behind them, James and Peter were left alone in the room, and not knowing what else to do, returned to their game. Despite the comfort of their familiar routine, the absence of Remus and Sirius left a void in the room. 

It was different now that it wasn’t just the two of them, like it had been while they were growing up, but it still nice to be alone with Peter, playing cards like they always had. Although it took more effort to see the cards, the lamps low like they were, James allowed himself to pretend that he wasn’t losing his vision, and that Remus was going to be okay, and in a second, his mum would come through the door like she always would, with hot chocolate and biscuits on a tray, cheering the boys on as they played. 

However, after several rounds of Snap, it was Sirius who came through the door, with the expression he always wore when he’d been crying a bit. While the boys were all concerned for their friend, Sirius always seemed the most torn up about it, and was the one who took it upon himself to try and figure out how to help Remus make it through the moons better. It was hard to see their friend sick, but they used the time he was out of the dorm to devise a solution that could alleviate his suffering: becoming Animagi.

They realized that the bulk of their preparations would need to be done during the summer, when Remus wouldn't be around to notice and try to intervene. Peter lived next door, and they’d been concocting a plan to allow Sirius to pass the holiday in Godric’s Hollow as well. Becoming an Animagus was a daunting task, requiring rare ingredients they couldn't easily procure at school, but Fleamont undoubtedly had in his private stores, as well as free time that didn't exist,  between Quidditch practice, detentions, and classes. Undeterred, the Marauders threw themselves into their research, spending the evenings without Remus poring over different books, and filling rolls of parchment with intricate plans, the stack growing taller by the day inside a drawer that once housed Peter's snack stash.

When the lamps were extinguished, save for James', Sirius slipped through the curtains surrounding James' bed. He closed them behind him, cocooning them in darkness, the distant sound of Peter's snores reassuring them that their conversation would be private.

"I'm really getting worried about him," Sirius whispered, his voice tinged with concern as their heads nearly touched on the pillow. "I think even Pomfrey's worried now. He was supposed to go home for the Spring holiday, but can you imagine sending him home looking like that? All boney and sick-looking? His parents are gonna freak out."

James nodded solemnly, thinking about how his own parents would react if he went home looking like a completely different child than they’d dropped off just months before. "My parents wouldn't be thrilled either, but I know they'll be glad to have him home, regardless."

Without needing to see him, James knew the expression Sirius wore—lips pursed, eyes downcast. Sirius was headed home for the break too, back to a house where he felt unloved and where he would probably spend a significant amount of time locked in the Black family wine cellar. James knew that Sirius was jealous, and while he would never wish for Remus’ condition, he would do anything for parents like Remus’, or James’, who would accept and care for him no matter what.

"A week at home might do him good," James offered, reaching for Sirius' hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. "And while I know you’re dreading your own holiday, remember you can always owl me no matter what. Mum and Dad would floo over in a heartbeat to get you out if anything happened."

"I don't know about that, Jamie," Sirius replied wryly, rolling over until he was so close he could feel James’ heartbeat through his chest, steady and reassuring. "They don't know me well enough to face the wrath of the entire inbred Black family, do they?" 

"Well, I'll always be here for you, no matter what," James promised, and they spent the rest of the night spinning wild tales of Sirius' escapes from Grimmauld Place, before falling asleep under the warm sheets. 

James’ birthday passed in an uncharacteristically subdued manner. Their early-morning visit to Remus was short-lived, as Pomfrey shooed them away, insisting that the boy needed rest and quiet. The Marauders reluctantly trudged off, earning themselves a stern warning about timeliness and avoiding further detentions. A card and some of his favorite chocolates from his parents awaited James upon his entrance to the Great Hall, a promise of a belated celebration when he returned home the next evening.

Though he didn't have many close friendships, James was well-liked among his peers. As he made his way through the halls that day, he was met with countless well-wishes from classmates, including from Lily, who smiled at him over breakfast and offered to split the last chocolate croissant with him as a birthday truce. Even the Quidditch team, his closest friends outside the Marauders, had a surprise in store for him at practice.

"We got you something, Potter," Brown told him, holding him back while the rest of the team headed to the locker rooms. A small grin played on her lips as she presented him with a circular pin. She pressed it firmly, and a brilliant white beam illuminated the air, casting a wide light onto the darkening field. "It's like a Muggle torch," she explained, pressing it on and off again to demonstrate its function. “I thought it might help out, you know, if a game goes long, and it starts to get dark out.” 

“Thanks so much, Brown! this is such a useful gift, you know, for any chaser,” he rambled nervously. While James was grateful, he was also worried, since he hadn’t told anyone outside of the Marauders about his issue. “What made you all think of this?” 

Brown chuckled softly. "Let's just say some things didn't go unnoticed," she replied, her eyes twinkling with understanding. "I started thinking that something was going on when you came back after break with those goggles and a helmet, and Hooch supervising our practices… I don’t really need to know what’s happening with you, Potter, but I hope this helps. As your captain, and your friend, I hope, I do want you to know we've got your back, Potter. Couldn’t let our star chaser get himself knocked off the broom just 'cause its dark out, could I?"

A warm flush crept up James' cheeks as she pulled him into a side hug. "Thanks, Brown. I really appreciate it," he murmured with a grateful smile.

"Now, off you go," Brown teased, giving him a gentle nudge. "Don't want to keep those friends of yours waiting… bet you haven’t even started packing for the break yet, have you?"

With a final wave, James hurried off to the locker room. Brown was right, he hadn’t packed, and although he was on a brief high from the kind gesture, James knew that the next day would be a long one.

As midnight crept closer, the dormitory buzzed with an anxious energy. Sirius paced the length of the room, frequently glancing out towards the full moon, while Peter sank onto the rug, attempting to occupy himself with a game of chess that seemed more like a battle against sleep. James himself was attempting to pack for a week at home, but sensing the need to break the tension, suggested they retire for the night. Peter readily agreed, his eyelids drooping, and with a collective sense of relief, they shed their outer layers and slipped into their pajamas.

As the room fell into darkness, Sirius and James convened on James’ bed. While he’d been at Quidditch practice, Sirius and Peter had gone to visit Remus in the Hospital Wing. The news Sirius brought back for James wasn't particularly reassuring. 

"He was really out of it," Sirius confided, his voice tinged with concern, as they sat together on the bed, the soft glow of Sirius' wand between them. "It could've been the fever, which is what Pomfrey said, but I just feel like that isn't enough of an excuse, you know?"

James stifled a sigh. "Yeah, because you're the expert on medical care, aren't you?" he retorted, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. "I'm sure Madam Pomfrey knows what she’s talking about, especially after being the one to look after him for nearly four years."

Sirius flushed crimson, frustration and embarrassment coloring his cheeks. As it often did when he was upset, his pureblood accent came through thickly, words dripping with disdain. "She might not be as competent as you think, Potter. Who's to say they're teaching them anything at St. Helga's Academy? They've probably been regurgitating the same outdated practices for the last century." He exhaled sharply. "You know, I was the one who did all the research, and suggested to Pomfrey that the smell of the new cleaning solution in the hospital wing was what was triggering Remus' migraines last year. If she were truly competent, she would have figured it out on her own... or maybe not used any heavily-scented products in a hospital wing where people may be negatively affected by scents!"

Sirius continued, giving him all the details he’d uncovered during his research and sharing insights into various lycanthropy-related issues he thought Pomfrey should look into further. He passionately recounted it all, regaling James with other interesting things he’d learned in obscure medical texts and healing tomes. James couldn't suppress a smile as Sirius spoke, even though he’d stopped understanding most of what Sirius was talking about a while ago. Eventually, Sirius caught sight of James' grin and abruptly stopped, a sheepish expression crossing his features. 

"Sorry, got carried away there, didn't I?" he apologized, scratching the back of his neck. 

James shook his head, still wearing a fond smile. "No need to be sorry, mate. It’s nice to hear you being so passionate about something.” Sirius shrugged it off, as if doing countless hours of research was a normal teenage boy thing to do. “You’ll be a fantastic healer one day, mate.” 

Sirius scoffed. “Me, a healer? Don’t be daft. I’m gonna be a Cursebreaker, or an Auror! Can’t you imagine how incredible it would be if I got to be the one to finally arrest one of my stupid cousins, like Bellatrix, or maybe Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa’s god-awful fiancé?” Sirius laughed, then flopped down onto the pillows. His eyes lit up with excitement, imagining the chaos he’d get into. 

James chuckled at Sirius's enthusiasm, settling down beside him on the bed. "Well, if you ever do change your mind, I think you’d be incredible,” he said sincerely. “I wish my healers seemed to do half as much research for me as you’ve done for Remus.”

Sirius seemed to remember James’ predicament in that moment, and quickly rolled over to face him. “I’m sorry, James, I just been so caught up in all of Remus’ shit I completely forgot about yours… I can do some research for you too if you want?” 

James instantly felt guilty for bringing it up. “No, no, that’s not what I meant at all… I just meant it seems like you are putting in a lot of work to try to help him, which is what I would want my own healers to do. I was only trying to say you’d be great at it because you really care.” Sirius seemed to accept that, so James continued. “I have a lot of people looking out for me, I can afford to have healers and pay for things that can help me be better for longer. I don’t think Remus' family can really pay for any of that, and Pomfrey has so many students she has to look after, so it’s good that you care so much, and can look for solutions to help. Besides his parents, I don’t think he really has anyone else who cares as much, you know?”

Sirius blushed under the light of his wand. “Of course I do. I care a lot about him… and of course all of you!” he stammered, suddenly sounding a bit self-conscious. “I would do the same for any of you guys, you know that, right?” 

“Of course,” James replied, unsure of why the other boy was getting so defensive. “How about we try to sleep now though? If we want tomorrow to be anything short of a trainwreck we’re gonna need as much sleep as we can get.”

Sirius agreed, and once they both tucked themselves under the warm quilt on James’ bed, it was mere minutes before they’d both fallen asleep, dreaming about the long journey home the next day.