Chapter 1
It’s been a long six months since Halloween. Since that day Sirius got arrested, since Peter died and Lily died and James died.
For the first time in six months, Remus actually had the energy to get out of his flat to get some coffee. He was actually kinda shocked to see a familiar face. Mary McDonald. Or… the scheme of Mary that was left after Dumbledore obliviated her.
“Can I help you?” She asked. Still that soft, sweet voice. Remus understood why Lily fell asleep to it, though Remus was only attracted to boys (or one specific genderfluid idiot).
“Yes ehm one cup of tea please”
“With milk?”
“Look, my boyfriend might be a mass murderer but I’m still not gonna do anything illegal like putting milk in my tea”
“Boyfriend? Mass murderer? Do I have to be worried?”
“He’s in Azkaban. Long story”
“I have a break from work in 5 minutes. You can tell me, it still seems to affect you. If you don’t wanna tell that’s okay, of course”
Remus just nodded his head and drank his tea. Without sugar, again just because his boyfriend was a mass murderer didn’t mean Remus would also do illegal things.
“So… time for therapy?” Mary asked politely.
“Sure you wanna listen to me pouring out my heart to some stranger?”
“Yeah, dating a mass murderer in Azkaban sounds like tea I don’t want to miss out on”
“Do you know Hogwarts?”
“Yeah, I’ve been there too. For seven years. I don’t remember it all though, it feels like someone randomly chose to remove that part of my life from my brain”
“Well, I had some friends. With some I mean a lot. James, Lily, Sirius, Peter and some other idiots. We were friends for all the time at Hogwarts, and honestly those years were the best of my life”
“Lily… I know that name” Mary said, questioning herself.
Maybe she got a bit of her memory back? But most likely, she just read the newspaper.
Wonderful, really. It took everything in Remus just to get up each day, but it’s wonderful to see that Mary was just miss ‘perfectly fine’.
“Saw it in the newspaper. Died together with her husband James”
“Yeah, I know that. Let’s say I thought enough about it the last couple of months”
“And… your boyfriend?”
“Sirius Black. Well, boyfriend, I don’t know. I mean, we never broke up, I just said I was done with him and his sneaky pranks. But some part of me just… can’t accept it. Like, I understand it when people hurt me but James? How could anyone hurt James? How could Sirius Black hurt his own brother. I mean, not the first time he hurt his brother but that was another one”
“Regulus Black? I remember that name as well. I remember studying with him in the library”
Fuck, Mary got some of her memories back because of what Remus was saying.
She can’t have them back.
No matter how much he loved Mary and how much he wanted a friend, he wasn’t gonna hurt Mary that much.
He had to stop pouring out his heart to this ‘stranger’.
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She remembered. She finally remembered. Just small things, like hours in the library with Regulus and laughing with Lils about how James was gonna ask her out this time and if there was even a possibility he was gonna embarrass himself more.
And Remus, she remembered his face.
Why didn’t he remember hers? Was he obliviated by Dumbledore? What happened to him?
Well you don’t know me
But I know you
She thought to herself.
“What’s wrong? Why won’t you tell me more?” she asked Remus.
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Oh please some god give him the skills to lie to Mary about this.
Stay close to the truth
“It’s embarrassing and it’s… hard to talk about. I lost so many people, it still hurts”
You lost so many people, I don’t want it to hurt
“I don’t to burden you with my problems” he then said “And please, don’t say something like ‘You don’t burden me, I want to be there for you’”
“How did you know I’d say that?”
Well you don’t know me
But I know you