The thing was, Narcissa had never imagined living past twenty five.
Fate laughed, at that. narcissa, narcissa, narcissa. poor, naive child.
Her parents had always told her that twenty-five was her prime, that any older than that, and no man would want to marry her. So, there was no other choice, she would either get married before twenty-five or become nothing but dust in her family's eyes, left to collect cobwebs in the corner of their too-large house.
And to Narcissa, either option meant living a life not worth living. She had never thought of herself as someone that would want to survive, after all.
oh, how wrong she was, Fate thought.
She had also never imagined she would meet someone like Alice, who never seemed to mind the years passing, who cherished every year, day, minute, and second like every moment was worth it, bright eyes never dimming as she faced down life.
Narcissa felt a pang of envy every time she witnessed it, looking away with a heavy heart. She supposed, to someone like Alice, life really was worth living like that. But for Narcissa Black? The only thing she wanted to grow old for was the one she couldn't have, at least, not forever.
She had dared to hope, when they had first started dating, that maybe, just maybe, she could make it.
But in the end, the precariously balanced hope in her heart crashed down the moment she saw the owls fly down to the great hall with the morning post, dropping copies of what would ruin the only thing Narcissa had ever dared to keep to herself.
The news of the betrothal was published in The Daily Prophet, a day after it was officially announced by both the Black and Malfoy family heads. The article, written by a new, but strangely popular reporter, Rita Skeeter, was titled, 'Exclusive: The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, and the Malfoy family, both apart of the Scared Twenty-Eight, to be joined by marriage.'
Narcissa didn't bother reading the rest. Instead, her gaze immediately scanned the great hall until it landed on Alice, whose own gaze was still intent on The Daily Prophet, face carefully blank. The sounds of congratulations from the other purebloods faded from Narcissa's mind, until her only focus was on Alice. She waited, a moment, then another, until Alice finally raised her head, jade-green eyes immediately meeting Narcissa's.
Carefully, Alice stood up. 'We need to talk.' She mouthed, slowly, seriously. Narcissa dipped her head in acknowledgement, blood rushing below her skin. She closed her eyes, letting the sound of her heartbeat drown out any other thoughts as Alice left the great hall without looking back.
When she opened her eyes again, she stood up, ignoring the voices calling her back as she left the castle, following the curve of the Great Lake until she was in a small clearing, blocked from viewers by both the lake, and a thin layer of trees. Alone, but for the Gryffindor standing there.
and me. said Fate, and me and me and me and always me.
Alice was standing by the trees, tracing carefully etched letters. 'A+N,' it read, carved with well-placed cutting spells on their second escapade in the night.
Narcissa felt too light, too unbalanced, to even look at Alice. Everything seemed- wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Narcissa’s hope wasn’t supposed to come crashing down, not this soon, at least. The world seemed off-kilter, like she had stepped somewhere she should ‘t have, and now she could ‘t get back to the way things used to be. There were cracks in her view of the world, problems where there shouldn’t have been problems, and solutions nowhere to be found.
"So," Alice said, and Narcissa found that even if she tried, she couldn’t look away as Alice drew Narcissa’s attention towards her, like a moth to flame, raising her head to meet Narcissa's gaze once more. "You're betrothed."
Narcissa waited for her to react, waited for her to scream, shout, cry. But Alice only nodded, and then sat down, leaning against the trunk of a tree as she stared up at Narcissa.
"Lucius Malfoy." Alice rolled the name around her mouth, speaking it aloud, carefully. Narcissa watched her, swallowing as she watched Alice look down, lips tightening, before looking back up, as if expecting Narcissa to reply.
Finally, Narcissa spoke, kneeling down in front of Alice, "I," She started, "I don't want to do it. I don't want to get married to him. I can't- I mean, it's you I want." She continued, "It's only ever been you." It was too late, of course, but some things were still better said than left collecting dust. And when Narcissa looked away, when she seemed to crumple into herself, only then did Alice soften, grasping Narcissa's hand and holding it tight.
"I'm not angry. Not at you, at least." Alice sighed, tilting her head back. "I just don't know what to think right now."
There was a stillness between them, a silence that Alice broke. “I would've engraved you into my heart if I could.” Alice said, and it’s not a reproach but a regret, spoken aloud for Narcissa, “I would've taken you anywhere, if you had only asked.” The 'but you didn't,' went unsaid, falling into the what seemed to be a never-ending barrier between them.
Narcissa blinked, hard, pressing back the tears.
The words that came out next were pressed out, spoken so quietly that if Alice didn't treasure every single thing Narcissa said, they might've not even existed. "If I asked, now, would you still?"
Narcissa didn't think she could even breathe, as Alice remained silent. The silence seemed to press on her very lungs, stopping her from taking another breath of air, forcing her to hold it for as long as Alice kept quiet.
Finally, Alice swallowed, voice low as she answered, "If you asked, I would."
And slowly, ever so slowly, Narcissa felt that small ray of hope inside of her, start to shine again, dim, but there.
somewhere amongst the trees, Fate scoffed, but didn't speak, watching the Threads in her hands.
Narcissa didn't ask. But she stood up, graceful as ever, brushed off the dirt that had stained her robes, and then held out her hand. "Dance with me, Alice." She said, softly, "Dance with me."
Alice stared, and Narcissa thought she would shake her head, thought she would turn away, thought she would leave. In some other universe, distant and bound only be mere threads, perhaps she would've turned away.
Instead, Alice smiled, ever so slightly, and then took her hand, standing up and meeting Narcissa's eyes with a steady gaze. It was only then that Narcissa allowed herself to loose a breathe, some part of her relieved to know that Alice would still be constant for her, would always be constant for her.
Thank you, some part of her cried in relief, thank you for not leaving, when everyone else did.
Narcissa let Alice wrap a hand around her waist, let her take the lead as they swayed to the music in their heads, the beat in their hearts. Had it been anyone else, it would've been awkward. But it was Alice. And Alice had always been the exception, would remain the exception for as long as Narcissa allowed herself to live.
and Fate watched the Threads change, lengthen and shorten, wary, but not unsatisfied with the outcome.