"You know, the Chudley Cannons probably have a decent chance this season," Ron remarked. "If they can beat Puddlemere United by 70 points they'll be able to move on to the semi-finals."
Harry sat in the courtyard with his Tranfiguration book on his lap. Ron sat next to him flipping absently though a two month old volume of Quidditch Illustrated. They had just had a rough day of classes which included a rather nasty bought of double Potions with especially foul tempered Snape.
"I wouldn't get too cocky. Puddlemere United is on the rise," Harry replied. "Especially now they have Wood as their primary Keeper, their defense is almost impenetrable."
Ron shrugged and leaned back against the stone column. "That's true, but the Cannon's offensive line has really improved this year, especially when you consider their new Chaser Gloria Bones. She's one of the most solid rookies in the division."
Harry closed his book and shoved it into his bag. He was tired of pretending to study. He would ask to look at Hermione's class notes later, anyway. Hopefully today's pop quiz in Charms put her into a good enough mood to let him get a quick peak at her extensive and immaculate notes.
"I can understand where your coming from but you still need to keep in consideration PU's record last year. It was an almost perfect season."
Ron was about to refute Harry's argument but at that moment Draco Malfoy's pretentious sneer drifted over to their corner of the courtyard from a gaggle of students across the yard.
"You call that a hat? I've seen more respectable clothing on Muggle farmers. It makes your head look like an egg."
Harry and Ron looked over to see who Malfoy was tormenting now. Malfoy was standing in a group of Slytherin flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, both of whom were chuckling stupidly at Malfoy's remark. His victim was standing alone by the water fountain, completely surrounded by ugly bulky Slytherins. Much to Harry's distress it was no other than Luna Lovegood, who was unsurprisingly wearing a rather ridiculous contraption on her head.
To say that her head looked like an egg was grossly inaccurate. It was true that Luna's choice of headwear was rather unfortunate but it was hardly uncomely. It was more of a turban that a hat, with many differently colored ribbons wrapped around in an intricate weave. Heavy gold beads were embedded into the weave in a way that almost looked elegant. The hat was without a brim and was pulled over her head like a sock. Harry had seen similar hats during his summerly visits to the Dursley's on some teenagers in their neighborhood. Admittedly it was a very Muggle look and Harry wasn't surprised it had attracted Malfoy's attention.
However with Luna's angular features, Harry thought the hat looked rather nice.
"My head isn't an egg. Though you have to watch out for Snitchy Bawlger-Snatches on warm summer nights, otherwise they lay their eggs in your ears. That would be horrible, wouldn't it?"
Harry heard Ron snicker under his breath and restrained himself from doing the same. Luna always did have a way of turning the most serious situations into ridiculous ones instead.
Malfoy's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Quit your stupid rambling. There are no such thing as Snitchy Bawlger-Snatches. They're just made up stories to scare little babies."
"Oh, no," Luna said, her eye's widening. "They are quite real. Plenty people have seen them. I've read their letters they sent to my father."
"Shut up, you stupid girl," Malfoy snapped. "Your father is an idiot for beliefing such senseless nonsense. The Lovegood's have been a long affected line, riddled with Muggle-lovers and loonies."
Harry's eyes narrowed in annoyance and started to move forward, pulling out his wand from his pocket as he walked towards Malfoy. Several nasty hexes ran through his mind, it was hard to chose which one Malfoy deserved more. Perhaps a pair of antlers would do Malfoy good, Harry thought to himself with a smile.
Luna's answer stopped everyone in their tracks. She cocked her head to the side and said, "You're a very sad boy aren't you? It must be very hard to have a father like yours. That would make me miserable too."
Malfoy stared at her before replying, "What the bloody hell are you talking about, you daft loon?"
"Your father," Luna said. "He's a much tormented man. He craves power but no amount of power he obtains can satisfy him. It makes him both mad and miserable. It must really hurt you to see him so sad. I feel sorry for you."
Malfoy's face was completely slacked in shock. Even Goyle and Crabbe managed to look more stupid than usual. Finally the blood began to rise to his face and Malfoy started to pull out his wand. "You loony bint! No one speaks about my father that way!"
Before Malfoy could get a spell off Harry and Ron both hit him with twin Jelly-Legs Cruses. The combination of the twin curses seemed to double the effect of the spell and Malfoy was down on the ground, everything from the waist down in a puddle around his torso. Malfoy screamed in indignation and the rest of the Slytherin's turned on the two Gryffindors with their wands out. The lone Ravenclaw was forgotten. Hex, curses, and jinxes filled the air for several minutes. No participate was left unscathed. The assault probably would have continued a long time had Professor McGonagall not come along and broken up the battling teams. Everyone involved was given a week of detention and sent to the Hospital Wing. Ron was only hit with a Full-Body Bind and was easily cured and sent back up to the room. He tried to stay with Harry in the Hospital Wing, who had a rather bad case of giggly fits from a well placed Tickling Charm but was cast out rather violently by a disgruntled Madam Pomfrey. Harry was released a few hours later no longer laughing but still unpleasantly smiley.
On his was back to the Gryffindor Tower he ran into no one but the very catalyst of the whole episode. Luna had removed the hat but was still wearing a necklace of butterbeer bottle caps. Harry was vaguely amused by her simple refusal to ever appear completely normal.
Luna looked surprisingly subdued. "Hey Luna, are you okay," Harry asked, concerned.
Luna hesitated before answering. "I wanted to apologize for earlier. You shouldn't have had to save me from Malfoy and his goonies."
Harry smiled at her, finally feeling more sober after Madam Pomfrey's careful treatment. "Don't worry about it. Malfoy's a slimy bigoted git who got what was coming to him. From what I can tell he still can't walk without holding on to walls along the way."
Luna didn't smile and Harry started to feel there was something more that was bothering Luna. He didn't want to pry but he couldn't help but feel that there was something that Luna wasn't saying.
"I know that I say some very blunt things," Luna said, "and it gets me into trouble but I can't help it. I just say things as I see them." Luna was staring at the floor. Her eyes were fastened on the ornate rug they were standing on. Harry couldn't tell if she was mesmerized with the design or she just didn't want to look at him.
Finally Luna did look him in the face. When she did he could see her usual cheerfulness was back, lighting up her eyes with intelligence and dazzling alertness. "Maybe a German Gobgicker got a hold of me last week during the full moon and made me careless with my tongue."
Harry smiled weakly at her. "Sure, okay. Well, I'll see you around, okay?"
Luna nodded happily. "Good night, Harry! Match sure to tie some rags over your ears while you sleep in case a Snitchy Bawlger-Snatches comes by tonight."
Harry nodded and smiled again before leaving. Luna always was an interesting person to talk to.
As he laid down to sleep he thought about what Luna said about Malfoy's father. No doubt there was an element of truth to what she said, especially since Malfoy's reaction was so violent. He wondered what else Luna saw with those alert blue eyes. Perhaps she could be useful in his mission to kill Voldemort. If only she didn't believe in silly made-up monsters and theories in her father's magazine, she was be even smarter than Hermione.
Harry put it from his mind and went to sleep. He dreamed about flying over a active volcano with Professor Flickwick on a magic carpet. They had magical umbrellas that repelled the lava, but it was still a very disturbing dream.
_______________________________________
The Great Hall was already clearing out when Harry, Hermione, and Ron finally came down for dinner. They had been forced to clean up the Charms classroom after one of Ron's botched attempts at charming a pincushion to sing backfired, shooting small pins off at lighting speeds, shattering inkpots and cracking the windows. The last hour had been spent down on their hands and knees scrubbing the ink out of classrooms carpeted floors with Muggle cleaning tools. They had not been instructed to use only Muggle tools but the carpets had recently been enchanted to be resistant to spells as a protective measure. The Wesley twins and Jordon Lee had recently taken to enchanting carpets and rugs to reach up and grab the ankles of the people walking on them. At first it had been amusing to watch, countless people fell forward on their face their books flying every which way, but the spell had gotten out of control and several people ended up in the Hospital Wing with twisted or broken ankles from over-aggressive carpets. Harry and Hermione didn't have to help but Harry felt guilty for telling Ron the wrong incantation. Hermione stayed behind mostly to mutter darkly suggestive insults about Ron's maximum brain capacity (whether it compared to that of a flobberworm or a sea cucumber) under her breath as she magically repaired the windows.
("Really Ron, I'm surprised you haven't burnt down the castle yet with all your mistakes."
"Well, excuse me, little Miss. Perfect. Not everyone is an annoying Know-it-All like you."
"It not even like it was a difficult spell. I've seen you do it a million times before…"
"Oh, shut up! I was distracted, that's all. Everyone screws up sometimes. Well, everyone but stuck-up smart-alecks.")
Ron was in a foul mood again. He shot several nasty looks at her under furrowed eyebrows. Hermione was pointedly ignoring him while trying to draw Harry into conversation.
"So, Harry, what did you like of McGonagall's lesson today? I thought it was especially informational today. She covered so much material while making it so accessible…"
"Er… sorry, Hermione. I fell asleep today in Transfigurations," Harry said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
"Harry! I'm surprised at you. I know some of our other classmates tend to slack off and not do their own work, but I expected more from you…"
"And which of our fellow classmates would you be talking about?" Ron interjected.
Hermione looked down her noise at him and said in a haughty voice, "I think you know exactly who I'm talking about."
Harry pulled out of the conversation and back into his own thoughts. As the sounds of Ron and Hermione's angry voices grew louder in passion and indignation, Harry looked for distraction and found it in a piece of steak and kidney pie. He quickly shoved it into him mouth before either Ron or Hermione could ask his opinion on Ron's waning work ethic or Hermione's constant prattling.
Ron and Hermione were bickering non-stop about the littlest things these days. They spent more time not talking to each other than they did talking. It made Harry very uncomfortable to constantly be playing referee between them.
The Gryffindor table was nearly empty and only the scattered remains of dinner remained. The trio picked and scraped at the ends of the different dishes and combined them to make a satisfactory meal. Most people in the hall were finished eating and were just leaving to go back to their respective House common rooms.
One other individual had just entered the Great Hall and was picking for food. Luna Lovegood was wandering up and down the Ravenclaw table, picking at the leftover food, with the apparent interest one would normally reserve for a speech given by Umbridge on the moral ethics of International Wizarding Trade.
Harry called out to her and motioned for her to sit with them at the Gryffindor table. Luna smiled at him in thanks and started to head over. If there is one thing Luna is good at, Harry thought, is creating a social distraction. He just hoped that Hermione and Ron would focus more on Luna's unusual theories than each other for a little while. It didn't have to be long, Harry thought, just long enough to get them through dinner without slashing each others throats with steak knifes.
Luna sat down across from Hermione and gave her a vulnerable looking smile. Hermione's face softened and she gave her a tight smile back. "Hello Luna. How were your classes today?"
"They went alright," Luna replied, starting on her now cold baked potato. "One of the Hufflepuffs in my year ended up blowing up his cauldron in Potions today. We were doing Snore-less Potions so it wasn't so bad. A big wad of it hit Professor Snape in the face, though."
While Ron and Harry howled in laughter, Hermione looked painfully concerned. "Was he injured? I think the active ingredient in Snore-Less Potions is ground mermaid's fin so it shouldn't have harmed him seriously…"
Harry laughed even more. "Hermione, who cares if he got hurt? He's an old slimy git."
Ron nodded and said, "Yeah. I never knew anyone who deserved a face full of half-baked potion as much as him!"
Even after being friends with Harry and Ron for six years, Hermione still appeared scandalized by their reaction. "But, Ron," she gasped. "He's a teacher."
Ron rolled his eyes at her. "Hermione, you make it sound like all teachers are gods on earth. Yeah, Snape is a teacher, but he is also a git. These are not mutually exclusive events in nature."
Harry could feel the tension building in the atmosphere. Ron was feeling smug and probably would battle with Hermione for hours if she let him. Hermione was getting increasingly irritable and was making Harry uncomfortable about the way she was fondling her butter knife. Fortunately, Luna found this to be a very good time to mention that she thought that the boy that let his cauldron explode was under the influence of a Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slinger.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at her openly. Luna continued, "That would explain why he was so absent minded. He fell in love with one of the Tree-Slingers. They are very well known in that part of the world for stealing the hearts of young men then driving them insane with desire."
Hermione scoffed, "There is not such thing as a Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slinger. They're just a silly myth made up to scare little boys away from the dangerous woods of Romania."
Luna looked thoroughly unconvinced. "Oh, they why do you think he let his cauldron blow up. I suppose you would say that he just forgot all about it and let it go out of stupidity."
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Well, yes. That is what I would expect."
An odd light gleamed in Luna's eyes and leaned forward, beckoning the trio to do the same. In a loud stage whisper she said, "Then, why, would you suppose, did the boy have a red mark on the back of his left hand in the shape of a maple leaf? I saw it when he was cleaning up the potion after class."
Hermione shrugged, "Maybe it was a birthmark. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. All I know is that it couldn't be a Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slinger. They just don't exist"
Luna sighed and returned to her cold dinner. "Shows what you know."
Hermione looked annoyed but defeated. She knew better than to try and convince Luna out of her unorthodox theories.
Ron, on the other hand, delighted in Luna's success to drive Hermione into a bitter silence. He was obviously feeling very magnanimous thoughts of Luna because he said, "So, what does one of these Sultry Singers look like? They sound really cool."
Luna looked up in interest but Hermione cut her off before she could start. "They're called Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slingers and their just a myth. They're supposed to be very beautiful woman who live in trees and turn men insane with lust."
Ron started to look genuinely interested. "So, they're like veela then? They're really beautiful women like Fleur who make men fall in love with them with magical charms?"
It took one look at Hermione to tell that she was extremely upset. Harry could feel frustration crackling off of her. Her head was tucked into her chin and her face was getting redder by the second.
"They're not real," she muttered softly, her voice getting horse from emotion.
Ron looked at her levelly and replied, "But Luna said that…"
Suddenly, Hermione was standing over them, her chair toppled over behind her. With a beat red face and a jaded look in her eyes, she screamed. "Ronald Weasley, you are the most insensitive dim-witted jerk I have ever met!" Without saying anything more, she grabbed her book-bag and ran out of the Great Hall without having finished her dinner.
Ron muttered, "She's a lunatic. Really, she is." They all went back to their plates, not saying anything more. Harry, Ron, and Luna said in an awkward silence for several minutes before Ron excused himself to go to the bathroom. He took his book-bag with him and told Harry he would see him in the Gryffindor tower later on. Harry and Luna were left alone, the only people left in the Great Hall.
Harry was disappointed. He had hopped that Luna would have been more of a distraction for Ron and Hermione but she had instead made them worse off from before. He thought darkly about the next few weeks. They probably wouldn't talk to each other for weeks on end, using Harry as the middle man, making him choose between them anytime they were together. He sulkily started to get up from the table. Before he could say good bye to Luna she cut him off.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did." Luna looked very uncomfortable. Harry sighed and smiled at her.
"Don't worry about it," he replied. "They're always fighting with each other. They would have fought had you been here or not. It was inevitable."
"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have mentioned the Sultry-Tree-Slingers to Ron in front of Hermione. She had every right to get upset."
Harry raised an eyebrow, "Er… I don't think Hermione was really upset about the Tree things. She's been fighting with Ron all day, she's just worn-out, and that's all."
Luna looked sad, "But making Ron think of magical women, especially Fleur, right in front of Hermione was very unwise of me. I should have known better. I just let myself get carried away again."
Harry was thoroughly confused. He had no idea what Luna was talking about but he tried to cheer her up the best he could. "You shouldn't let any of this worry you, Luna," he said. "They both have been really stupid today with each other. Ron called her a brainy beaver and Hermione called him a backward warthog. It has nothing to do with you. And if you make it feel any better, I thought the bit about the Romanian Sultry-Tree-Slingers was pretty interesting. I hope you figure out why that kid has a tattoo on his hand."
Luna looked grateful for his kind words but still uncomfortable.
"They are both kind of stupid though," she said, half to herself. "If Ron would just tell Hermione how he really felt about her, I'm sure she would be able to confess herself to him."
Harry moved past confusion into stunned bewilderment. Luna always spoke about peculiar things but this one was on a whole new level of strange.
Harry shifted on his feet and said slowly, "I'm not sure that would be a good idea. Ron is pretty open with his feelings to Hermione and it's never made her happy before. One time he called her an egg-headed pundit. She flew right off the broom handle and started throwing anything she could reach at him. He ended up with a bruise the exact shape of Scotland on his…"
Luna cut him off with a frown. "No, that's not it at all. Ron is in love with Hermione. And she is in love with him. It's pretty obvious."
Harry starred at Luna in unabashed astonishment. With his mouth hung open and his eyes open wide, he probably looked like a dolt but he was too amazed to care. He wasn't sure if Luna was joking or if she was serious. She certainly looked serious enough but what she was suggesting was just ridiculous.
He started to laugh uncomfortably, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do. Luna's eyes narrowed and looked most peeved at his response.
"Look," Harry said, still trying to laugh lightly. "You can't be serious. Ron and Hermione can't stand each other. It's all I can to do to keep them from jumping at each other's throats with Slicing Charms. To suggest that Ron and Hermione would think of each other like that…"
Luna smiled at him and shook her head. "You really don't see it, do you?" Harry shook his head.
Luna smiled wider and said, "The trick is to watch them when they look at each other when they think the other is not paying attention. That's when you'll see it."
Luna smiled as she waved good bye, heaved her book-bag onto her shoulder and left Harry alone in the Great hall.
Harry left for the Gryffindor Tower with his head buzzing. Luna's suggestion was so preposterous, it was barely worth considering. There was no way there was any truth to her idea. Harry turned the idea over a few times in his head before dismissing it completely. Luna is always coming up was stupid theories with no basis, he thought. This isn't any different. If she was best friends with both of them, she would be able to see how ridiculous her theory is.
Harry was still wrapped up in his thoughts when he came to the giant portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Accio," he muttered, earning himself entrance to the Gryffindor common hall.
He climbed through the portal into the common hall. Students were still scattered about room in comfy over stuffed chairs, talking and doing homework. Harry found Ron sitting at a table with a quill in hand. He was in the middle of writing a letter. His owl, Pig, was zooming enthusiastically around Ron's head, excited at the prospect of another job. Harry scanned the room and found a familiar head of bushy brown hair sitting in a chair by the fireplace, apparently absorbed in a thick tome of Wizarding history.
Harry stood back, watching the two of them from afar. There was no weight to Luna's theory but Harry wanted to prove it wrong for his sanity's sake. For awhile the both of them were absorbed in their respective activities. Ron's eyes never left his letter except to dip his quill in his inkpot. Hermione was thoroughly engrossed in her book and her eyes never left its pages.
Suddenly Ron hesitated in his writing and glanced up. His gaze was toward to rear fireplace where Hermione was sitting. At first his face showed annoyance and irritation but as Harry watched his features softened into a sort of pleasant absent minded expression. As if coming out from under a trance, he shook his head and went back to writing his letter with equal vigor as before. It was look that lasted only for a second but for Harry is was a hair straightening discovery. Luna might be on to something, Harry thought, giving the blonde Ravenclaw more mental respect then before. He looked over at Hermione who was completely unchanged. He wondered if she suspected Ron's feelings for her. If Luna had been right about Ron, then surely she wasn't far off on Hermione. Harry was amazed when he realized that the cause of all this misery and bickering really steamed from feeling of unrequited love.
Harry left the common room for his bedroom, leaving the two unknowing lovers behind. As he lay down to go to sleep a wave of sadness washed over him. If Ron and Hermione did realize their feelings for each other, where would that leave him? Ever since he had come to Hogwarts he had relied on Ron and Hermione for their friendship and support. What would happen to him when Ron and Hermione left him behind? Without the two of them, Harry didn't know how he could face a world were more people than he could count wanted him dead. That unhappy thought moved into his brain and began to set up a little house for itself. Not matter what he did, Harry couldn't shake it off. Eventually he got to sleep several hours later, after Ron and the other had come up to bed.
His dreams were rough and fragmented. He dreamed that Dumbledore was asking him if it was alright if he took Dudley as his date for the Yule Ball. Harry was in the middle of explaining why Dudley wouldn't be able to make it to Hogwarts when he saw Ron and Hermione come into the room arm in arm looking happier than he had seen them in years. The memory of the dream made Harry feel sick to his stomach the next morning.