Remus had decided to head down to madam pomfrey early, since he hadn’t gone to dinner that night. In fact he hadn’t gone to many meals after the incident involving Snape. It made him feel sick even thinking about what had happened that night. He just went down to the kitchens when he was hungry, which wasn’t very often.
He walked with a slight limp due to the upcoming transformation. It was the first one since snape found out and he had made sure to tell Peter to make sure no one came. He couldn’t bare speaking to the others so he settled for Pete.
‘Oh umm Peter?’ He asked just before he followed the others down for breakfast ‘Please don’t come on Sunday, and make sure no one else comes either.’ ‘ but…’ Peter had started but Remus just gave Peter his meanest look and with that he walked out the room and headed to the library . He hoped Peter knew he was angry and made sure the others knew as well.
He thought it would be alright in the beginning. James and Peter weren’t talking to Sirius to start with too because they were as angry as he was about what had happened. But they weren’t betrayed like Remus was, and after they didn’t see Sirius at dinner for the first few nights they eventually got worried and spoke to him again. Remus felt even worse now, how come that they picked Sirius over him? Wasn’t he the victim?So he started avoiding them too. James had tried of course but Remus just remained silent and barged past. He nearly stopped talking all together, not even participating in class or talking to Marlene and Mary. Lily was the only person he had spoken to apart from Peter since what happened. She always knew what to say to comfort him and they were starting to grow inseparable. He had told her what had happened between the marauders after about the 47th time of her asking.
But most of all, he missed Sirius. They had finally admitted their feelings for each other just 3 months ago, and Remus missed his reassuring presence. Sirius always knew how to help Remus. ‘But he hadn’t helped you, he just made your sad life even more unbearable’ Remus had to remind himself. Sirius had taken advantage of him and he was too stupid to see it at the time. He would never let that happen again, therefore could never trust Sirius or any of the other marauders again.
“Remus, your early, the moon doesn’t rise until 7 tonight” Madam Pomfrey said softly when he pushed the infirmary doors open
“Mhh” Remus said back, slumping down in the chair closest to him. “ have nothing else to do”
“Dear , I’ve noticed you’ve been distancing yourself from your dorm mates, I understand what happen last month was hard on you, but I want to assure you that running from the problem at hand will not make it go away any quicker.” Poppy said gently focusing all her attention on him.
“Well it’s fine for now, I’m fine. I don’t care” Remus said grumpily, fidgeting with his hands in his lap.
“Well, have you had any dinner?, it’s only 5:30.” Madam Pomfrey asked gently. “I can get the elves to send something up”
“No, I ate already” Remus lied, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep it down since the moon was only an hour and a half away.
“Alright, i’ll let you stay, but only this once” She said, giving him a look which was a mix between concern and sympathy.
Remus knew that she would let him stay. She had always pitied him when the full moon was approaching, ever since he started at Hogwarts. She was like his second mother and he did truly love her .
However now he pulled out his transfiguration textbook and started reading the chapter that was due for homework the next day. But he could hardly concentrate because of a headache so he put the book down and just looked out the window at the slowly setting sun.
Once it was 6 ish, madam Pomfrey told him they could make their way down to the shack. He gathered his things and started walking down.
Once he got to the shack, Madam Pomfrey went back up to the castle reassuring him she would be there in the morning for him. He made himself comfortable on the little bed in the corner of the dirty house. He only asked to come to the shack this early because he was sure he wouldn’t run into anyone.
So now all he had to do was wait
***
Everyone was talking but Sirius just sat there playing with his roast potatoes. He couldn’t eat. His mind kept drifting towards Remus, he knew it was a full moon tonight and he was worried for him. Remus’ transformations were getting more intense as he grew up before they started helping him and since no one was there tonight he knew it would be bad.
He’d been thinking about Remus a lot actually. He was missing him and he felt awful for what he had done. He was glad to have James and Pete but they weren’t really the marauders without Remus.
“Pads what’s up? You’re not eating” James said as Sirius began arranging his green beans in a row.
“It’s a full moon tonight, I want to be with Remus” Sirius said back simply not looking up from his plate.
“Look, mate, Remus isn’t in the mood to see us and Pete told us about what Remus said to him, he doesn’t want any of us there” James said back “ don’t want him even more angry at you, do you?”
“Doesn’t stop me worrying” Sirius said “I don’t want him to be hurt”
“Yeah, none of us do, but he was really angry, I think it’s best we leave it” Peter said gently.
They decided to head back up to the dorm, but Sirius definitely wouldn’t be happy looking out at the full moon all night, so he decided to think of a way he could try and join Remus before he transformed. It was about 6 when they got back to their dorm. James had just gone to the bathroom to shower and Sirius flopped face down onto his bed.
When James emerged out from the bathroom with wet hair and towel around his neck, he sat up. They remained silent for a painfully long time until Sirius said.
“Do you think Remus is in the hospital wing or in the shack?”
Peter and James looked up and James gave him a look like he was trying to decide something. “Why?” He said and waited a little before saying “Pads, I’m sorry to break it to you but if you haven’t noticed Moony isn’t talking to you or any of us, he doesn’t want to see you”
“Yeah I know James” Sirius said even more frustrated. They remained quiet until Sirius suddenly said, “umm I think I’ll…. Umm go for a .. walk. You know like just around, look for more secret passageways and stuff.. y’know, clear my head a bit,”
“Fine but don’t do anything stupid pads” James said starting to hang his towel up but Peter, who was good with telling when people were lying simply said “ your going to see Remus aren’t you”
It wasn’t really a question so Sirius didn’t answer, just looked down and scuffed his feet on the floor. James looked up, clearly seeing the truth now as well but knowing Sirius wouldn’t be stopped. He knew Sirius wouldn’t be able to sit still if he stayed.
“Fine mate, go, but we warned you” James sighed.
Sirius, who hadn’t takes his shoes off yet told them he’d see them in the morning and left
***
Remus was just sitting on the bed when he heard the trapdoor opening. He had heard it so often what with his friends coming to see him before the transformation that he just guessed it was one of them.
He felt a bubble of anger rise up and he spat out, “I told you not to come, what are you doing here?” He didn’t look up until he heard a voice he recognised from potions class. Snape.
His eyes widened in shock as he watched snape step closer to him “ who did you tell not to come?” His drawling voice responded.
“GET. OUT .NOW. ” Remus shouted with all the remaining energy he had, but in truth he was terrified that snape was here.
“ I don’t think it wise to let a hideous beast like you run free even in this depressing house” snape said with a smug look on his face. “I’m here to talk to you Lupin, or are you even to savage for that?” Snape said with mock sympathy. “ I know exactly what you are , and if I were you I would look a lot more scared Lupin. I have all the power in this situation. I can tell whoever I want what you are”.
Remus didn’t know what to do. If snape wasn’t careful he could end up transforming on front of him and he couldn’t cope with what happened last time to happen again.
“You need to go Severus” Remus said slowly. He could tell the transformation was coming on soon. If he was lucky he maybe had 20 minutes max.
“Not before I can make sure you won’t hurt anyone else, you freak!” Snape said and with that he flicked his wand in Remus’ direction.
Remus felt a strong jolt, pulling both of his hands upwards . Soon he was standing and snape was smirking at him.
“What the fuck are you doing snape?” Remus shouted but before he had time to get a response his hands were in shackles behind his back attached to the wall. The shackles were made of silver and Remus instantly felt the burn of the metal against his skinny, bare wrists.
He hissed in pain and collapsed to the floor, now his hands were suspended over his head,but snape was still smirking at him “ ha , take that you vermin”
“ your a monster, how could you do this?” Remus said on the verge of tears.
“Oh I think we both know who the real monster here is, Lupin? I’m just protecting everyone else from you”
Remus didn’t have any energy left so there was nothing he could do when snape just spun around and left.
Now he was alone, but he was stuck. The shackles were attached right to the wall so he couldn’t move even an inch away. He started panicking because the wolf wouldn’t take kindly to him being tied up and he could tell he would dislocate both of his shoulders at least. He also still had all of his clothes on, including one of his favourite jumpers since it was February and cold outside.That would be torn to shreads. Great, just great. Suddenly he felt very overwhelmed due to the burning silver and the fact the moon was about to rise, he started to cry. Remus hadn’t cried in forever. He was used to just dealing with the pain in his life.
***
Sirius was running now, he knew the moon cycles pretty well by now and new when the February moon normally rose, and also knew he didn’t have long before Remus would transform.
Sirius hadn’t ever felt so guilty for anything in his entire life, as he did for what he had done to Remus. And truth be told, Sirius needed Remus and he was barely coping without him. He knew how lucky he was to have a friends like James and Peter who supported him, but deep down he knew he really didn’t deserve any sympathy. It was only since they caught him harming himself in the bathroom 5 days after the incident which got them to stick with him, ultimately leaving Remus to suffer alone. Sirius knew as well as anyone how easily Remus put himself down. He probably though he had done something to scare them of .He was just worried for him to say the least.
Just as he was turning the corner to leave the courtyard to lead him to the willow, he saw Snape. He was smirking to himself and practically strutting back up the way Sirius was going to go down
“Aaah Black, what are you doing out so late, you never know what could be out there” Snapes voice drawled on is such a mocking tone
“None of your business Snivillus” Sirius spat out. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with snape, he had to get to Remus and quickly for that matter.
“My my, you do have quite a mouth on you, don’t you. Funny that, I thought that’s why you and Lupin aren’t speaking” Sirius was so angry he could punch snape, but just really wanted to get to Remus before it was too late so he just stood there waiting for him to be done with this conversation and leave.
“ You’re not off to see him are you, he was implying someone visits him.” Snape said.
“You were there?” Sirius said with disbelief, he knew that wasn’t a good sign and Remus probably needed him. He had some idea what snape was capable of considering the company he kept.
Without letting snape say another word, he ran past down to the will.
“He deserves what I gave him” snape shouted to his back as he ran, then walked back to the castle smugly.
Sirius wasted no time. His encounter with snape really set him back and the sun was setting, and fast. As soon as he looked back and saw snape had gone, he transformed into Padfoot and squeezed his way into the hidden tunnel, from there he ran as fast as his paws would carry him.
***
Soon Remus was just sniffling, he was too busy thinking about the moon that was surely on its way to rising. He was shaking slightly as the pressure throughout his body grew and grew. He really wasn’t looking forward to this moon, he was never looking forward to any moon but he knew this one would be bad. No prongs or wormtail, and no padfoot.
He can hear a noise though, coming from the door and he can hear the panting, he didn’t know what to think, he can’t bear anyone seeing him in this state.
Before he could think about anything else, the door bursts open and standing there, looking disheveled, was none other than Sirius Black.
Remus freezes, he hadn’t spoken nor looked at Sirius since last month, and here he is now ,seeing Remus’ tear soaked face and his hands tied to the wall.
Sirius seemed to be frozen in place as well, his mouth slightly agape, eyes fixed with shock as he say Remus.
“Moony..” Sirius said so quietly, Remus wouldn’t have been able to hear it if it wasn’t for his wolffish hearing. ” What did he do”
“Please Sirius just leave, leave” Remus says back just as quietly, as embarrassment took over and he fixed his gaze on the ground, mindful of the tears that will fall is he looks at Sirius’ face again. ‘He doesn’t care about you, probably thinks you deserve this’ his brain told him.
“No moony, let me help ,please” Sirius sounded upset. He started to make his way closer to but Remus tensed.
“No, don’t come any closer” he said, the tears finally falling. “ I’m a monster, I deserve it.”
“That’s not true moony, your no such thing” Sirius said, trying to keep his cool as he kept approaching Remus. His heart broke as he saw Remus. He was in such distress and he still believed himself worthy of nothing but inhuman treatment. Sirius didn’t care what Remus said next, he wasn’t going to let him hurt himself that way. He cast a spell and the manacles disappeared. Remus was still upset and curled up on himself more.
“I’ll go if you want me to moony” Sirius offered, so Remus could be more comfortable. Remus didn’t say anything and Sirius was just about to leave. He wanted to stay but he didn’t want to make Remus hate him more.
“Stay” a tiny voice said and Sirius turned around to see Remus looking at him with desperate eyes.
“Of course I will, love” Sirius said and walked back towards Remus and kissed him on the forehead. We wasn’t sure wether he was still allowed to treat Remus like his boyfriend but Remus didn’t seem to mind all to much.