Harry Potter has loved Draco Malfoy since he was seventeen. That moment, surrounded by rubble, when everything felt hopeless, Draco threw his wand at Harry and Harry knew then, by the feeling of absolutely safety, he was in love with Draco. It was everything they never said captured in a moment.
Draco Malfoy has loved Harry Potter since he was sixteen. When he got his task and the hideous Mark, he knew then that the only person he trusted to get him out of this mess was Harry. Of course, he never went to Harry for help and suffered alone, but he knew, in the back of his mind, that all would be well because Harry would save him; that Harry would save them all.
They're twenty-one when everything goes to shit.
It's like the war has never happened. Magic managed to repair everything like nothing happened at all, and so Hogwarts was rebuilt, bodies were buried and people moved on. Life moved on, because dwelling would only take people down a dangerous path. It had, for some people, taken them down dangerous paths.
The hardest thing to experience after the Fallen's funerals were the ones of those who died by their own hand, after the war.
So now, three years later, it's like the war never happened. People have gone and gotten jobs, moved out of their old homes into new ones, new cities, new countries. Harry, for all the hatred he had towards fighting, ended up becoming an Auror with Ron, because he felt like there wasn't any other way to live, if not to live with a target constantly on his back.
Draco ended up in the Ministry, working a job he told himself he'd never do. He wanted to be the opposite of his father, and somehow he ended up right where his father used to be. He hated himself, his father, and his job, but Harry looked happy in the Ministry, as an Auror, and Draco wanted to stay close to him, so he stayed in the Ministry too.
Harry hated being an Auror, deep down, but if Draco could accept being in the Ministry, he had to as well, right?
Neither of them were happy. Neither of them realised.
Twenty-one years and engaged, Draco and Harry were supposed to be forever. They thought so, they really did. The wedding was in three hours, and they already felt like they were on honeymoon. Things couldn't go wrong in three hours, they weren't supposed to go wrong in three hours.
But then Draco never turned up to the wedding, and Harry was left at the altar looking like fool. No one said it, but he could tell, that this was what a lot of people had been expecting from Draco. No one said Harry was wrong for wanting to marry an ex Death Eater, but they told him he deserved better. He could tell they were judging him, and it only made the abandonment feel worse.
He went home that night with a heavy heart, wishing he could've used the Portkey and gone to the fancy hotel Draco booked for them in Paris. He wanted to be on honeymoon so badly, but his husband, should've-been husband, was a no-show, and he felt so alone.
Draco was sitting on the sofa with a blank look in his eyes when Harry got home. His shirt was unbuttoned, the shirt he was supposed to wear at the wedding. His suit jacket was torn, resting carelessly on the floor, his tie next to it.
"Draco?"
Draco didn't respond. Harry couldn't tell if the blond hadn't heard, or was ignoring him. And that pissed Harry off, because after the day he had, it should've been him ignoring his fiance.
"Draco?"
"Hm?" Draco moved his head slightly, but he still had that blank look on his face.
"You missed a wedding today." Harry walked towards his fiance. "Our wedding, in case you forgot. Which it seems like you did."
"Sorry."
"Sorry?" Harry wanted to hear out whatever explanation there was, but Draco was so dismissive that he couldn't help but be angry. "What the fuck do you mean sorry? It was our wedding you missed, you fucking prick. Ours. You can't apologise for missing your own wedding."
"Harry, I-"
"Draco, what is that?" Harry stilled, staring at his fiance.
"What-"
"Is that a fucking hickey?"
Draco finally looked up, properly, and stood up to check the mirror. He stared at himself with the same blank look from before, and simply said, "oh."
"Oh?"
"I didn't realise."
"Didn't realise you've got a fucking hickey? That wasn't from me?"
"I cheated on you." Draco said, quietly.
"You did what?"
"I think." Draco was too quiet for Harry to hear, but maybe it was better that way. "I did. I cheated on you."
"Are you messing with me?" Harry hated the way his voice sounded weak.
"I cheated on you." Draco said more confidently, turning to face Harry. "I- yeah. I'm sorry. There's not- there isn't really an explanation for what I did. I just did."
"Say you're lying. Tell me you're fucking lying." Harry screamed, eyes watering. "This is a really sick prank to pull after leaving me to wait like an idiot at the altar."
"It's not a prank." Draco shrugged. "I cheated on you. Whilst I was getting ready to go to the wedding, there was this guy, and- well, you know, he was attractive, so.. I probably shouldn't have slept with him, but I did. And here we are."
"Probably?"
"I'm sorry." Draco said, and he meant it. "I'm sorry, Harry."
"Get out."
"I'm sorry."
"Please. Hurry, leave me." I can't breathe.
"I l-"
"Please don't say you love me."
Draco nodded. Instead of holding onto his fiance as he broke down, Draco left the room, grabbed his things as fast as his magic could work, and apparated away. He heard the heartbroken sobs from the living room, but he couldn't bring himself to stay.
He'd ruined things, like everyone said he would. He had no place to comfort Harry now.
The news of the Saviour getting stood up at his wedding, and then the breakup spread like wildfire. No one knew what really happened, but pictures of Draco leaving a pub with his hair tousled, hickeys all over his neck and chest and his clothes beyond ruined got leaked and people talked.
The news of Draco Malfoy cheating on Harry Potter was everywhere by the next week, and Harry couldn't take it. He hadn't heard from Draco since he told him to leave, and his heart yearned for Draco. He wanted his boyfriend, his fiance, the love of his life, to come back. Harry had everyone he loved telling him it wasn't worth it, that he shouldn't take Draco back, ask for him back, but he couldn't.
He loved Draco more than anything in this world, and he wanted him back. But Draco had disappeared, and Harry couldn't do anything but cry.
He hated himself for crying, because this was not his fault. He wasn't the one that cheated and left Draco alone at the altar. He wasn't the one at fault, and yet he wanted nothing more than to call Draco over and over and over until he finally came back, finally told Harry he loved him.
But then months passed, and Draco was still gone, not a word from him from anyone. No one knew where Draco was, and Harry had to move on, even if Draco took a piece of Harry with him.
Six months after Draco left, when Harry finally stopped feeling like someone was stabbing him in the heart every time he breathed, someone sent a video to him. It wasn't traceable, and it wasn't from anyone Harry knew, but the video explained everything.
That night, Draco didn't cheat.
Draco was raped.
And Draco let himself take the blame for it.
Harry spent weeks looking for Draco. He had tried looking for him after the wedding, but Ron and Hermione stopped him, because it wouldn't do any good. But now, he knew he had to look for Draco and he couldn't let anyone stop him.
It was hard, and it took time, but Harry was determined to search the ends of the Earth to find Draco. He should've known, he should've fucking known, that Draco wouldn't do something like that to him. That Draco wouldn't cheat on their wedding day and leave him at the altar. But he believed it, because it hurt, and he needed an explanation.
Did Draco even know he'd been raped, or did he genuinely believe he cheated?
Harry didn't know, which was exactly why he had to find Draco.
He couldn't stop thinking of the video, where someone had literally cursed Draco, making him unconscious and-
He couldn't. He had to get that image out of his mind. But it kept replaying, over and over and over in his mind and it wouldn't stop. Someone had hurt his Draco, and Harry believed that Draco was the one in the wrong. God, the video showed it clear as day that Draco didn't want it, didn't even know what was going on.
Harry wanted to know why Draco didn't just tell Harry the truth. Did Draco not trust himself enough to know he wouldn't cheat? Did Draco believe he was capable of actually cheating on Harry?
Fuck, he had so many questions but there wasn't anyone to answer them for him. Because no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find Draco, and it was killing him. Knowing the truth and not being able to go find the man he loved, was killing Harry.
It was killing Draco too.
A month after Harry received the video, he then received a call. It was from a hospital in Paris, and Harry's heart dropped.
"You're listed as Draco Malfoy's emergency contact. He was sent to the hospital a short while ago. I'm sorry, sir, but he's been in an accident."
As soon as Harry found out the address, he'd apparated to it. He didn't care that he was in the middle of watching a movie with Ron and Hermione. Draco was hurt, and Harry missed him more than anything.
Draco woke up an hour later, and Harry ran to go see him.
"Harry?"
"Draco."
"What are you doing here?"
"You got into an accident." Harry blinked back tears. "Of course I'm here."
"Emergency contact." Draco realised. "Shit, sorry, I forgot to change that. I'll, er, change it later. You can go now."
"Draco-"
"It's fine. I'm barely hurt. You can go."
"They said you swerved off of the road on purpose." Harry sat down at the foot of the bed. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you that I was going to swerve off of the road?"
"That you were raped."
"What?"
"I know." Harry said slowly. "I know that you didn't cheat that night. I know that someone knocked you out and took advantage of you. I know all of that, Draco, I just don't know why you didn't tell me."
"It was my fault." Draco shrugged. "I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and that's on me. And I had time to go to the wedding, but- but I didn't want to. So I ditched you at the altar when I could've just gone. So it's on me. I hurt you regardless. It was easier to just let you believe I cheated."
"Draco."
"I still left you at the altar."
"Fuck, Draco, you think that's my biggest priority?" Harry couldn't help but shout. "You were fucking raped and you let me, you let everyone believe that you cheated on me. Why didn't you just tell me? Draco, I wouldn't have been mad. I'm not mad. You're- you were my fiance and I loved you, I still fucking do."
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"Someone hurt you." Harry yelled. "Someone hurt you, and you let it ruin everything else when you could've just told me."
"I'm sorry."
"Draco." His voice was weak. "I love you. I loved you then and I still love you now. I just- why didn't you just tell me the truth back then?"
"I was scared, okay?" Draco felt his breath stutter. "I was scared that- that you wouldn't look at me the same. That you'd think I was pathetic for letting it happen. I was scared you'd- you'd stop loving me because he- because of what he did. I thought it'd be easier to just let you hate me."
"What that man did to you was not your fault, and I wouldn't ever believe that." Harry held Draco's hand gently. "I love you. You are not to blame for what he did. You are not pathetic either. He hurt you and you couldn't defend yourself, and there is nothing pathetic about that."
"But you're still never going to see me the same." Draco said. "The way you're looking at me right now. Like I'm some sort of victim."
"I still love you the same. But of course I'm going to see you differently, because someone hurt you and I let you walk away."
"I don't want you to see me differently."
"I see you as the man who I let walk away from me." Harry began. "When I look back, there was something so obviously wrong. And that's what I see. I see the signs I missed, the truth that I should've known. I see you as someone who I wronged. But I still love you the same."
"You didn't wrong me."
"I should've known something was wrong."
"But you didn't. How can you blame yourself for that?"
"How can you?"
The room was quiet for a while, save for the steady beeping of Draco's heart on the heart rate monitor. Draco hadn't moved at all, and Harry never stopped holding Draco's hand.
"Will you come home?"
"I don't know if I can." Draco admitted. "It's not home for me anymore."
"It'll always be home for you, Draco." Harry rubbed his thumb over Draco's knuckles. "I'm sorry I took that away from you."
"You didn't. I'm the one that left."
"But I made you feel like you had to."
"I feel safe here." Draco whispered. "It happened there. But not here. Here, I'm safe. Here, no one recognises me as the man who cheated on The Boy Who Lived. Here, I'm just some random person who no one knows. It's safe."
"I love you, Draco." Harry said quietly. "If you want me to go, I'll go. If you want me to stay, I'll stay. Tell me what you need."
"I need you to stay."
"Then I'll stay."
"I love you."
Harry missed hearing those three words from the man he loved most in the world.
"I love you too."