The Mystery of You

I thought quickly as they all spoke amongst themselves. I didn’t want to bring it up quite yet without talking to Sebastian about it first.

“What are you thinking about, Willow?” asked Sebastian.

“Oh, n-nothing. Just got lost in my own mind,” I laughed and looked back at the group sitting around the table.

“Sebastian Sallow?” a nurse asked. “Can we speak with you privately?” Sebastian looked up with nervousness in his eyes, not knowing what they might need to speak with him about. He looked at me and I wanted to reach out and comfort him right there. His eyes immediately looked glassy, as if he was about to cry. I watched as he quietly got up, patted Anne on the hand, and walked after the nurse out of the room.

None of us were able to break the silence that fell over the group as he walked out until a painting caught my eye.

“Is- is that… me?” I asked as I looked closer at the portrait of a young girl playing on a hillside.

“I was thinking about our sleepovers in Feldcroft and I just wanted to document it. Do you like it?” asked Anne. Of course, I liked it. It was one of the happiest memories I had of my childhood. The days spent with Anne, Sebastian, and Juniper in Feldcroft were some of the best. Solomon left us alone as he was busy with work and we played for hours outside. I missed being able to spend my time playing and relaxing with no cares in the world.

“I love it,” I said as I continued to look the painting over.

“Describe it to me,” said Ominis with a smile on his face.

“Well, when I was younger, I used to wear my hair in long braids on either side of my head. The painting has me in those braids and I am running along a hillside with friends blurred in the background. I have a stick in my hand, no doubt pretending it was a wand. I always pretended to be exactly who I am now.”

Anne smiled at me as I brought up the old memories.

“That sounds beautiful, Anne. I hope you are proud of your work,” Ominis smiled.

“I am. I never really thought of myself as an artist, but as I continued to stay here, I felt like I should get a hobby of some sort,” she said with a laugh. She looked around the room proudly and smiled at every painting she had put her energy into.

“I am glad that you did take it up. These are beautiful,” I said while taking in all of the paintings around me still. I felt like I could look at them for hours.

I sat back and took the time to look at each painting and I gave Ominis and Anne space to chat together. I always knew that he loved her deeply, and she loved him. I wanted to give him his space with her. It had been a while since the nurse had gone with Sebastian to speak with Anne’s doctors so I decided to go and look for him, wherever he might be.

I left the room we were in and started down the hallway when I heard it.

“No!” I heard Sebastian exclaim from the other side of the door.

“I am sorry to tell you, son,” a doctor's voice sounded muffled through the door. My hand covered my mouth as I listened. It did not sound like it was good news at all. I stood frozen in place, unsure what to do. I panicked as I heard footsteps coming toward the door and stood there frozen as it opened. Sebastian looked into my eyes with tears in his. At that moment, he looked so defeated. My heart broke for him as I watched him frozen in place, his eyes staring into mine, his eyes searching mine as if he was searching for what to do. I immediately held out my arms and he crumbled into them. The sounds of his sobs echoed through the hallway as soon as he made contact with me. My heart shattered into a million pieces as I held onto him tightly, wishing that if I just clutched onto him hard enough, nothing could hurt him. I put my hand on his head and gently ran my fingers through his hair as he collapsed. We slowly ended up sitting on the floor, Sebastian still collapsed in my arms.

“I’m sorry, Sebastian,” I said, unsure of what to say at this moment. I knew people had general things to say like: "Sometimes bad things happen to good people" or "This will pass." It was all bullshit. I didn't want to discount his feelings at all, so I wasn't going to.

“I am not sure I believe them,” he choked out. “They can’t be right. She can’t only have months.” My heart stopped in my chest. I was unsure how bad the news really was up until that moment. A soft tear formed and fell down my cheek as I sat there, trying to make sense of the information I was just given. I tried my best to hold it together for him. I knew that he needed me.

“I failed her,” Sebastian muttered through labored breaths and sobs.

“No, no, no,” was all I could get out. I leaned down and kissed his head out of instinct, wanting- no- needing to give him any comfort I could.

“I did, I failed her. I promised her.”

“No, I don’t think Anne would ever blame you,” I said softly, running my hands through his hair.

“She would never, but I will never forgive myself. I lost the final years I had with her.”

“No, don’t say that. We are going to bring Anne home, and you can spend all of the time you want with her,” I said.

“How? She has no one to take care of her,” Sebastian said.

“I had an idea about that. You know how Miriam is lonely in Feldcroft?” Sebastian immediately sat up.

“She could live with her,” Sebastian said, completing my thoughts exactly.

“She can, I mean, as long as Miriam is okay with it.”

“I am sure she would be okay with it. She loves Anne as much as we do. You’re a genius, Willow!” He said before grabbing my face and kissing me on the lips quickly. My mouth fell open, unsure what to think. Sebastian was incredibly emotionally charged at this point, so I tried not to read into it.

He quickly got up and went to speak with her doctors again about making the move. I made my way back down the hallway toward the room where Ominis and Anne were sitting. I looked in through the window and saw Anne’s hand on Ominis’ arm, he was quietly crying. My heart broke all over again. If there was one thing that hurt, it was seeing someone as strong as Ominis cry. I quietly walked in and knelt down at his side and held onto him, my own tears falling now. Anne looked at both of us, stroking my arm that was around Ominis.

“It’s okay, guys,” Anne said. “I have been expecting this. My heart can’t keep up.” Ominis looked up at her and his face had an expression that said he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He faced her square on now and I backed up to give him some space.

“Anne, I wanted to tell you that,” he paused for a moment. “I love you with my whole heart. I always have.” My heart swelled as I watched him tell her and I walked out of the room to give them space, but looked on in the window.

“I love you too, Ominis,” Anne said. I watched as she slowly leaned closer to him placing a kiss on his lips. I looked away to really give them their privacy. Their situation brought tears to my eyes and truth to my heart. There was a lot going on in my mind about Sebastian and my feelings for him. I didn’t want to sit on these feelings for years and end up regretting it later. While the timing wasn’t exactly great, I knew what I wanted now.

Sebastian walked down the hallway at me at that moment.

“What’s going on why aren’t you-“ he said but was cut off. I grabbed him into a kiss, my hands on the nape of his neck. He kissed me back with so much need and hunger that I felt like I was going to fall over. He continued to kiss me as I started to move backward, my back eventually hitting the wall. He put both of his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in deeper, our tongues dancing around each other now. It felt like we were frozen in time for just that moment. He pulled away breathless, his forehead against mine as he looked into my eyes.

“I didn’t want to wait anymore. I know what I want,” I said. He smiled big and answered by kissing my lips again.

“I want it too.” My eyes widened at his words and my heart picked up pace. I felt great sorrow and love at the same time, knowing it took something hard to push us together, and knowing that we were losing Anne. After a moment of silence, I finally spoke.

“I wanted to give them space. Ominis finally told her,” I said. Sebastian quickly glanced through the window to see the two still kissing.

“Wow, I am proud of him,” he smiled a soft smile that expressed both sorrow and happiness at once. He leaned one arm on the wall as he spoke to me.

“Should we wait to go in there then?” I asked.

“Let’s give them some more time,” he said, grabbing my hand and leading me to the front desk.

“What are we doing?”

“We need to write to Miriam. We are taking Anne back with us this weekend. Miriam also needs to write the Headmaster on our behalf and let him know that we won’t be back tonight.”

“We won’t?”

“No, by the time we get back into town, it will be well past midnight, and I want to make sure Anne is comfortable.” Sebastian asks the person at the front desk for a quill and parchment. He writes furiously before sending an owl from the hospital to Miriam. We both walk over to the lobby and sit for a few minutes, his hand still in mine. His thumb moved rhythmically over the back of my hand as we sat.

“I don’t know if I could have handled that without you,” Sebastian broke the silence, his voice soft and raspy from his earlier sobs.

“Oh, it… it was nothing. I just wanted to be there for you. I needed to be there for you,” I said to him and squeezed his hand. He brought my hand up to his lips and planted a kiss. His eyes looked into mine and I could see that he was trying not to think about Anne. I laid my head on his shoulder as we sat there in silence.

After a while, Sebastian decided it was time to go get Anne and Ominis. Luckily, we were not the ones to interrupt as a nurse had already come in so she could check on Anne and pack some of her paintings up.

“Sebastian? What’s going on?” asked Anne.

“We are taking you home.”